Every time John walks in the house ( even if he's just been outside raking ) he yells out
HELLO In a very loud booming voice.
Like he's just returned from a long trip.
And every single time he does it Soda starts barking her head off - flying all over the place and I almost trip on her getting downstairs
WHY? WHY? WHY?
I ask him constantly to please stop doing it -
Last week I was in the porch putting something away - he had gone to the corner store for something
The door swung open and he yells out
HELLO?
Suzan says - I'm right behind you, you know, one of these days you're going to give me a heart attack. I'm right here
John says - Oh I didn't see you
Suzan says - Can you hear Soda? You're making her and I crazy with this
John says - Why? I'm just letting you know I'm back
Suzan says - You were only gone 5 minutes - I don't get it John - can you please stop doing it - it's making me a nervous wreck actually
John says - Well we have too much stuff in this house
WTH? This is exactly the way he deals with everything - Tit for Tat.
Suzan says - What does that have to do with you yelling every time you walk in the door?
John says - I'm just saying -
John says - There's things you do that drive me crazy too, you know
Suzan says - But your thing is so easy to stop - really !
So...................later in the week he went to an appointment -
I was puttering in the kitchen with the music blasting when I feel a tap on my shoulder...................
Grasping the counter because my legs could barely hold me up - I turn around - ready to meet the killer who's entered my home -
John smiles...................
John says - Is that better?
Suzan says - NO - YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK - ( as I repeatedly swatted him with a dishcloth
John says - I can't win - no matter what - I can't bloody win
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I wish police would AIM TO MAIM..........................not kill
And that's all I'm going to say on that subject.
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I keep forgetting to moisturize - how does someone forget to do that?
But dry skin intrigues me - sometimes I can't even concentrate on a movie because I'm too busy staring at the alligator skin on my legs -
Fascinating stuff AND it keeps life from getting boring - sometimes you really have to count your blessings
Suzan says - John look at my legs
John says - What about them ?
Suzan says - Look closely - they look like alligator skin
John says - Oh for God sakes - do you hear yourself?
Suzan says - Here, touch them - it's gross
John says - Wow - they're pretty rough
Suzan says - That's the hair - I haven't shaved them in awhile
Suzan says - Here - give me your hand - you have to rub it this way
John yanks his hand back -
John says - Do you think I could just watch the end of the movie?
IT'S THE GODFATHER AGAIN -
HE JUST WATCHED IT LAST WEEK ( for the 10th time )
Suzan says - We don't share anymore
John says - I felt your leg - what else do you want me to do?
hmmmmm..........................never mind.
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Suzan says - Lindsay and Tony are coming for supper - they're bringing home made Cream of Leek
John says - Oh I love that soup
John says - But why do they call it Cream of Leek I wonder?
Suzan says - Oh I don't know - MAYBE BECAUSE IT'S MADE FROM LEEKS?
John says - Huh?
Suzan says - L. E. E. K. - don't you know what Leeks are ?
John laughs - I never realized that
John says - I thought it was a nick name because it's the color of piss
Cream of L.E.A.K.
O.M.G. - I don't know how it's possible.
Anyway he had 3 helpings of Cream of Pee soup and loved it.........................( but he wouldn't touch the Brushchetta we made to go with it - pee and brushetta are a no - no in his world )
Here's the recipe she found at Fettle Vegan Recipes I'll definitely be making this again soon.
Try it -the quickest easiest recipe out there - I promise you'll love it - !
( well if you love cream of leek soup that is - if you hate it then you'll still hate it I - I doubt it'll change your mind )
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I guess it's winter...............but we still don't have any snow so it doesn't feel like it yet - when you live in a 4 season climate, you almost need snow to get ready for Christmas - strange but true.
What would I do living in the South?
( besides loving every single moment of the heat? )
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Have a wonderful weekend everyone -
I know most of you will be having turkey sandwiches today ( which is my favorite part of cooking a turkey )
Much love,
Me
I enjoy your posts SO much. I laughed out loud at the "Leek" story!
ReplyDeleteOh thanks once again for my morning chuckle Suzan! L.E.E.K. as in Pee soup - LMAO over here :D
ReplyDeleteThank you for the great big belly laugh this morning!!
ReplyDeleteAlligator skin and Cream of Leak...
OMG!
Well, that first scenario is funny (to read about) and sounds just like around here. Kevin would do the tapping on the shoulder, rather than announce in a loud voice. I'd much prefer the loud voice so I'm not scared to DEATH.
ReplyDeleteYou guys crack me up!! It must be a real riot around there...all the time.
ReplyDelete"I thought it was a nick name because it's the color of piss."
ReplyDeletehahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahhaha
I can't stop laughing hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
OMG I'm crying I'm laughing so hard LOL :)
Cream of Leek soup...the nick name....hahaha, John is just too funny. I am laughing out loud. Thanks, I needed that!
ReplyDeleteGosh, that's funny, everytime Mr.C comes in he yells "where are you, where are you? I tell him if I 'm not in this room I'm in the next one!
ReplyDeleteCream of Leak. Classic stuff that, I can just here you doing stand up comedy night. You'd have to pay for someone to come up with that and look at all the free material he gives you! My guy never says when he's leaving, not a 'bye' nothing. I walk around bellowing for him only to hear crickets. Then I call him and ask where the hell is he? Swear they do this to keep us on our toes. Have a lovely weekend, tree lighting and a week of Christmas fun in town starts tonight. Patty
ReplyDeleteAre you sure John is English? He doesn't understand English very well...
ReplyDeleteYou two are so funny and I LOL at your dry skin conversation. We got 30 cm of snow Wednesday night into Thursday. It's definitely wintery and Christmas-y looking here. I wish I could get in the mood to shop. Enjoy the weekend. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteSo John is actually doing you a huge favor by loudly announcing his presence...much easier on the ol' heart than the sneaky shoulder tap version. Can't stop laughing...and then there's the leak soup. Honestly...I think he's priceless, Suzan. Thanks so much for sharing so we can all enjoy. Have a happy weekend!
ReplyDeleteHi Suzan!!!
ReplyDeleteYOU KILL ME!!!!!!
If we lived close by, we would drive our hubbies crazy.....As if they need much help!!!!
It looks like it's going to be a sunny, but, cool day tomorrow (Sat.). And yes, I agree with you about the shoot to maim.......................................
Have a great weekend girlfriend!!!
Pam
xox
The man is a riot - the whole Leek vs. leak thing is hilarious. I think I would have punched him if he had scared me like that. Downright wicked sense of humor. Snort. Mine's a door slammer so I always know when he leaves or returns...no shock there. Thanks for the laugh; it's always nice to start the day with a smile.
ReplyDeleteLOL on the counter. I could see it happening too. :)
ReplyDeleteOh My Gosh! You guys are a riot! I've been reading your blog a long time you know and you still have a way of shocking me... looking forward to another year of crazy Haha!
ReplyDeleteYou two are so funny...I love it, keep it coming...
ReplyDelete