Sunday, December 13, 2015

ALL THE STOCKINGS WERE HUNG...................


By the chimney, with fear


That while I was hanging them
John would appear............


It's too much he would say
As he always does.........


And I'd have to remove them
Why?  just because...................


But lo and behold - ( and believe it or not )
He liked them !
He loved them !
In fact quite a lot !


And I was so happy that there was no " rift "
That I let him eat cookies I made as a gift.............


12 miniature stockings for 7.99 !
The perfect size to stick a candy cane and a gift card in !

I've NEVER had my baking done so early before - ( and this is the second weekend of baking because I totally messed up the first time ) I'm usually frantically baking right up until the night before. For some reason things are going a little too smoothly in this house - I'm terrified that something's right around the corner - just waiting to burst my bubble LOL !!!

Have a great day everyone
Hugs,
Me

( Sugar Cookie Recipe HERE )




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Friday, December 11, 2015

A FRIDAY CHAT ( about this & that )



No snow.............last year we got it in the knick of time.
This year we had a sprinkling that lasted one afternoon and they're saying there won't be any for Christmas

No snow for Christmas?
In Montreal?
They're calling for 11 to 12 degrees celcius today ( that's roughly 52 degrees for you Americans ) and though I realize this may be considered cold - even freezing to some of you - it's absolutely balmy to me.
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Now keep that temperature in mind for a second.
And keep in mind that ANYONE living in Montreal KNOWS that's really warm for the month of December here.

We were out shopping this week.
At a mall.
And that means parking.
And you all know exactly what I mean by that when it's a couple of weeks before Christmas.
We would be waiting by a spot and watch people just zoom in and steal it -

John says - THOSE BASTARDS !
Suzan says - You know - it's Christmas - let it go.

After 3 times of this I thought John would blow a gasket - really I did.

We were just pulling into a spot when a woman pulled up behind us.............and BEGGED us ( she literally said " I'm begging you "
" I have to pick up my son in one hour and this is the only hour I have to pick up his Christmas gift "

John yells out - 3 people have already stolen my spot - we've got shopping to do too lady

She gave it one last attempt - and begged us again...............and guess what perseverance gets you?
Yup..............we pulled out and gave it to her.

By this time John was red in the face and I was getting a little impatient too...............and then finally
THANK YOU GOD - we ended up in front of a spot a few feet from the entrance way - you couldn't find a better spot really.
As we pulled in - a car pulled up beside us -

Woman says - Hey that's my spot !
John says - We were here with our flasher on before you pulled up
Woman says -  But I have a baby in the car
John says - Listen - we've given up 4 spots - it's the luck of the draw
Woman says - C'mon - I have a baby in the car and it's freezing outside

( that's why I wanted you to remember the temperatures - it's as far from freezing as you could ever want to get in Montreal in December )

John says - Sorry as he locks the car up
Woman screams out  -  OH MY GOD - YOU ARE HORRIBLE PEOPLE !!!

Now this is why choices are so important in life.

I had 2 of them.
I could have walked up to her car - and screamed in her face - WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL US? - and then quickly slapped her face. ( which to my shame is exactly what I wanted to do )
Or I could have pretended I just didn't hear anything.  ( which is what I did )

But my heart was thumping with indignation.
As I crossed the road a lady pulled up and reassured us that she saw the whole thing and that we had been there first - but it didn't matter - my day was ruined.

All I can do is pray in miracles and hope she reads my blog - so that she knows that I personally feel she's a horrible person to say such a thing.
I have kids - I shopped for them in blizzards for crying out loud !  In thunder storms - in hail - sleet and snow
( hey wait a minute Mr. Postman )
AND I never once thought that I was more important than anyone else because of it............

Ok - that's done.
This is why online shopping is so appealing to me by the way
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In other news............I've been doing everything wrong my entire life.
Every. Single. Week. there's an article on something I was taught to do one way and how it's completely wrong.
I mean there's a ton of things I know - I just know - through experience that I HAVE done wrong.

But apparently I eat wrong ( that includes the actual act of chewing as well )
Exercise wrong ( when I do - which is seldom - and that's wrong but I already knew that )
Dress wrong
Apply make up wrong
Do laundry wrong
Show affection wrong
Dance wrong
Decorate wrong
Renovate wrong.
Choose shoes wrong.
Make decisions wrong
Walk wrong.
Run wrong.
Wear my hair wrong.
Getting out of bed wrong.
Showering wrong.
Bathing wrong.
Moisturizing wrong.
Even giving to charity - yup - I'm going about it the wrong way.

It would appear - by reading the experts - that my entire life is wrong.............

Leave me alone this is MY life !!!


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And I even bake wrong.
No I really do.
Remember last weekend when I baked the entire weekend long?
Well ALL the cookies came out very crumbly.
I couldn't figure it out because I had followed all the instructions so closely !
Until I realized I had replaced the baking powder with corn starch.
Don't ask.
Just don't ask 'k?
Guess what I'm doing ( again ) this weekend?
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You couldn't make up the conversations John and I have - even if you were a script writer with all kinds of awards on your shelf - you simply couldn't make them up.

We were watching a movie the other night - with Sally Fields - keep her name in mind - it's important.

It was called.

PLACES IN THE HEART.

It takes place in 1935 - keep that date in mind - it's important.

As usual I was up and down throughout the movie - making tea - getting snacks etc.
Upon coming back

John says - That guy looks an awful lot like John Malkovich
Suzan says - It IS John Malkovich
John says - Don't be ridiculous
Suzan says - I'm telling you it's him
John says - Oh for crying out loud - he wasn't even born then..........................

I'll let that sink in for a minute or two.

Suzan says - WELL HOW OLD DO YOU THINK SALLY FIELDS IS - 125?
Suzan says - You know Hollywood is a fascinating thing - they can make movies that take place in the 1930's when in real time it could be the year 2000 !!!
John says - Always the smart ass...............

NOTE TO SELF - bypass Cleopatra and Ben Hur completely when seeing them on the t.v. menu.
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I'm not sure how many of you know that I had lunch with John Malkovich in Paris...............
No - I really did !
You can read about it HERE
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Every time I open the garbage can to put something in it - there's something in there I have to take out - wash and put in recycling.
We have a lot of discussions about this.
Daily.
I don't find it a terrible amount of work to wash out a piece of plastic and put it in recycling -
At. all.
When I consider what plastic is doing to the planet I feel it's the very least I can do really.

John thinks it's absurd and that I go overboard with it.

You all know how much he loves his peanuts, right?

So he usually takes a plastic bag and sits with the nuts in his lap and peels the shell into the bag.
Then the bag and the shells get dumped in the garbage.
And Suzan goes in and removes it - dumps the shells in composting and the bag in recycling.

I reminded him this week to please please please recycle the bag.

Whereupon he dumped the entire thing into the recycling bin.
Peanut shells and all.

Suzan says - WTH?  Why are there peanut shells in the recycling bin?
John says - YOU TOLD ME TO DO IT !
Suzan says - No - I said the plastic
John says - Peanut shells are recyclable  !
Suzan says - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
Suzan says - They have to go in compost
John says - It's all too complicated - it's just ridiculous to have to put so much thought into rubbish
( there's his " British " coming out again - he calls the garbage - " rubbish " )
Suzan says - It's not complicated at all - OMG - just separate them
John says - Listen - I'm not running all over the kitchen for an hour because of a bag of peanuts for God's sakes ..................

Why he just won't buy shelled peanuts I have no idea.
I give up
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We went out for a bite to eat after shopping.
There was a particular restaurant I wanted to go to ............it's a chain so they're all over the city.

John says - I have no idea where it is
Suzan says - I think it's in Fairview shopping center
John says - No it's not - I don't know where it is but it's definitely NOT there.

And so we drove around for 45 minutes or so looking for this place.

I finally called my daughter

Lindsay says - It's in Fairview shopping center.

Did I mention that's where we were originally.

WE LEFT THE MALL - WHERE I THOUGHT THE RESTAURANT WAS AND DROVE FOR 45 MINUTES ONLY TO HAVE TO COME BACK FROM WHERE WE STARTED.

Suzan says - Why don't you ever listen to me?
John says - What are you talking about ?
Suzan says - I TOLD you I thought it was here
John says - No you didn't.

One day at a time, Sweet Jesus, that's all I'm asking of you.........................



Have a wonderful weekend everyone !
Much love to all of you
I'm off to pick peanut shells out of the recycling ................
One shell at a time.  Sweet Jesus.

Hugs,
Me