I try so hard to be upbeat, really I do - and normally it's no work at all - I am by nature a positive person and that's what has kept me going all these years in the midst of some pretty big disappointments - heartaches - and everything else that life throws our way...............
I see humour in mostly everything and love sharing it ( hoping that someone else will smile at the very least )
And I'm pretty good at compartmentalizing ( I suppose like all women ) that grief goes in here - no time to deal with it now - that disappointment goes over here because I simply can't process it at the moment - that
worry I'll just put over here on the back burner - that hurdle will have to sit in here for a little while longer until I can jump over it. And I really believe that's the difference between getting through life with a smile on your face - or sitting in a corner weeping for eternity - it's all in time management - and life management -
in being able to compartmentalize - some are better at it then others - I'm the queen of it really - everything gets filed away - and dealt with as I am able to................bit by bit - one by one - I open the boxes and DEAL with it when I'm ready. ( admittedly there are many boxes I've yet to open - but they're there waiting for me, stacked up on shelves I've built internally - neatly stored away )
But what do you do when things are too big to fit into pretty little boxes - and you have to stuff them - pack them into your soul - where, because they are not restrained with ribbons and bows they just run amok in there threatening to open all the other boxes we've tucked away?
I've nowhere to put these mass shootings - I'm full to the brim already - and yet they've happened and they have affected me terribly and so they have to go somewhere. Even if you wanted to deal with the anguish head on, they're coming at us faster then we could ever process them, I mean this is not something that takes a day or two to get over right? And it's not something I was raised with so it isn't like I've had a life time to deal with it ( oh how my heart aches for countries where this is the norm ) this is relatively a new trauma we North Americans are facing. This is no longer stories we are hearing on the news of far away places - these are happening in neighbourhoods some of us know too well.
Do we stop shopping ?
Or going to school or going to school or going to school?
Do we stay off of planes
Do we avoid movies
Stay away from places of worship
And is this how depression starts?
Because of one last item that we simply can't compartmentalize.....................................
Although I try to keep my blog light - with bits of humour dotted here and there - from time to time I need to
let some of the trash out - and I've nowhere to put this last horrific crime against humanity except right here on my blog - I'm so sorry but it just won't fit inside of me -
And I think it's important - for me - for my sanity - for all of us - to take a moment out and at the very least " mention " what is happening - in outrage - lest it becomes the "norm" for us as well.
And as is happening far too much lately my thoughts are once again with strangers and their losses -
XXX
Sharing with
Kathe with an E
http://www.kathewithane.com/2012/08/youre-gonna-love-it-week-16.html
Adorned from above
http://www.adornedfromabove.com/2012/08/apple-cinnamon-roll-pull-aparts-and.html
You said exactly what I have been feeling and have felt over and over again. I don't put into print how I feel about these types of things for fear of saying the wrong thing or upsetting someone. I'm a coward in that sense. You though said it beautifully. This is one that I will print and keep in my stash. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI understand you completely - I wrote up the post - and then removed it, thinking it was just too dark, but to not talk about it is far worse I think. So I reposted it -
ReplyDeleteI cried as I wrote it - it's all becoming just too much
Take care, and TALK about it - remember the words of a very wise singer " silence like a cancer grows............."
With hugs,
Suzan
I am particularly concerned with Toronto these days. It's never been a gun culture there and the shootings that did happen were targeted and controlled mostly to gang violence. Now it appears that the "code of conduct" is non existent and collateral damage means nothing to them. That poor boy at the Eaton Center, the poor 14 year old at a BBQ. It 's all very disturbing. And the man in Colorado in a theatre...what drives these people? And how do we stop it? It is very very troubling. Montreal knows the pain first hand. I fear for what is happening. And yes, the blog world can scurry on always painting the world with pink paint and pretending there aren't issue. Good Post Suzie.
ReplyDeleteVery poignant and I can relate to how you feel about it all. My son (10) was very shaken by the events in Colorado. He cried and asked many questions. We went to see the newest Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie this weekend and right before it began my son started to panic. How did we know it wasn't going to happen here? Now? Devastating to have those thoughts and fears at 10. All I could tell him was not to let those feelings and fears take over. It's okay to have them, but then to make the conscience decision that they weren't going have control over you. You have to remember: "Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart."
ReplyDeleteAnne Frank. Hugs!
I see my blog as a happy refuge from a scary world and try to let it be that for others. Still, if I never talk about causes I believe in or my feelings about tragedies, there wouldn't be any ME in it. You have a forum you have created and I think you used it to good advantage today. You let us all know that we are not alone in our grief and dismay and that helps us hold on! ~ Maureen
ReplyDeleteKathe, I agree with everything you have said. It was so difficult to deal with Colorado. Then yesterday, what is the world coming to. How did we get here and how can we change it. Who could have stopped these mad men? So much of this is out of our hands, we can do nothing but look on.
ReplyDeleteWe DO have power as individuals. One person at a time. It starts with our children and we must take time to write the good of man on the blank slates of our babies. The bullying, the sexual permissivness, the coarsening of our culture. I love my computer but our machines are removing us from reality.
People of our age have a history of personal contact and interaction. That makes it easier to put the social media in perspective. Think of the youth, they are the electronic age and I believe it dehumanizes the culture. Just me saying, I think we need to ration and reduce the dependence of young people upon the techno devices and slow down.
People my age, 72, we can only pray, cry and reach out to those near us and offer love and support.
Suzan, you were right to post your thoughts. That is healthy. It is also helpful to know you are not alone. We are struggling with similar aching of the heart. We are here for one another. Thank you for sharing. It was healing for me to open up.
Blessings, Ginger
I agree completely. I used to live in Colorado Springs which is pretty close to Aurora and kept thinking of my friends that still live there (thankfully no one was involved in the shooting) but it still just wrecked so many lives senselessly and it just takes a lot of time to heal.
ReplyDeleteI'm following you back!
I think there are forces out there that are trying to divide us and keep us angry - the old divide and conquer tactic. We need to work that much harder at common manners and common politeness to each other on a daily basis. A smile goes a long way to bridge a gap. Remembering everyone out there has a story and how much time would it really take out of our day to let the anxious person get in line ahead of us or make room for a car to change lanes on the freeway-all these little things can make a big difference in a stressful day. Let's look out for each other.
ReplyDeleteHi. Just stumbled into your blog from Heaven's Walk. thank you for mentioning the shootings. It is healthy to get it out in the open and not hold it all inside. I rarely go to movies, but this week I took my nephew for his birthday. Also to see Wimpy Kid. We sat in the back row and I worried because we weren't near an exit. Over and over I planned in my head what we should do if the impossible actually happened. I watched the exit door. I watched everyone who came in the entrances. Were they just holding popcorn ? Over and over the theater employees also came in to check on everyone, much more than I'd ever seen before. It's sick when we are scared to do the everyday stuff we are used to doing. But we have to go on. We have to live. We can't let the evil ones keep winning, long after the attacks are over.
ReplyDeletePatty
soriano471@sbcglobal.net
Hi Suzan,
ReplyDeleteSorry this is late, but better late then never. Thanks so much for sharing with last weeks with Wednesday's Adorned From Above. The link party is open now for this week.
This is beautiful, and you are right, it is happening far too often. I think most of us compartmentalize, in order to get through. In the beginning, when it first happens, I think we are in shock trying to process the horrible events. We watch it on tv and try to understand what has happened, and how could it happen. Then you try to shove it down and out of sight, because if you don't, how can we go to a movie, or a mall, or even to an office building to work.
But we end up compartmentalizing, because if we don't, we wont be able to function.
Debi Bolocofsky
www.adornedfromabove.com
Really believe that's the difference between getting through life with a smile on your face - or sitting in a corner weeping for eternity - it's all in time management - and life management.
ReplyDelete