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Sunday, November 29, 2015

TODAY I'LL BAKE.................

I won't turn the t.v. on or listen to the radio because I simply can't absorb anymore of the grief the media keeps pounding into our brains.


I'll have my shower and head downstairs


I'll get out all my supplies and put my apron on


And I'll bake............


I'll bake for Ashley and Chris who have taken on the role of parents with such love and I'll just about burst for the little creation they brought into the world in September.


I'll bake for Gordie and Vanessa - and Vanessa's 2 little girls who have stolen my son's ( and ours ) heart away.


I'll bake for Lindsay and Tony - shaking my head and smiling because I can't use any animal products on those particular cookies - I tease her but I'm oh so proud of the stand she's taken. She walks the walk.


I'll bake for Annie and Mathew who fell in love as very young teenagers and have shown us the art of parenting with such grace that it can literally take our breath away.


I'll bake for James and Su who have been through so much and have come through it all on top of the heap
King ( and Queen ) of their world.


I'll bake for all the little ones...............and let them sneak one or two before Christmas dinner because that's what Lollys and Pops do.  And if their parents walk into the kitchen I'll hide them under the table or behind my back while they giggle out loud and I'll say loudly "  get out ! they're NOT in here ! "


I'll bake for Soda who always got little nibbles of the " throw aways " this is the first Christmas she's not with us in 16 years - it's been 2 weeks and nothing feels quite right yet.


I'll bake for all the in - laws of the above - because without them - our children's happiness could not be complete.


I'll bake for John who has never - not once - given up.
On anything.
But mostly me.
Because he loves me - as difficult as that can sometimes be - he loves me.
And my cookies.


I'll bake for all of the reasons above..........as I do every year.
And as I blend all the ingredients in I'll think of us - our big blended family.

But the truth is this year I have to put extra heart into it


This year what happened in Paris has totally devastated me and so I have to force myself into the kitchen.


Life does go on.
It doesn't stand still even when it's filled with those that seek to harm us.
And the only way I know to honor those whose lives were lost is to go on.


To keep my traditions.
To tell them your life was not in vain.............


And to assure their families that life will continue - our values will stay intact - they will not win.
They can create unspeakable sadness but they cannot destroy who we are.


I'll bake


And I'll bake


And then I'll bake some more


Until I feel nothing but comfort and joy
And then I'll wait for my favorite Christmas movie to come on - because despite it all - no - in spite of it all
It's a wonderful life.
It's also a precious and fragile one.
So for some reason it feels right that I be in my kitchen - working with my hands because that's where love begins for me.


As soon as I sign off on this post - I'll go downstairs - put some Christmas music on and preheat the oven.
And than I'll mix - beat - roll - sift my way clear into this next season.


We can talk about the world tomorrow..................
Today I'll bake.

Hugs,



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DWELLINGS - THE HEART OF YOUR HOME       BETWEEN NAPS ON THE PORCH
AN EXTRAORDINARY DAY                                    FLUSTER BUSTER
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50 comments:

  1. Great post, Suzan. I hope you find the comfort and joy of your family (and the baked goods). Family matters.

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    1. Thanks Rita - I baked all day yesterday - and on my way down to start all over again :)
      It felt good.
      It felt very very good.
      xoxo

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  2. Suzan- I am reminded once again of how much alike we are. I bake away my feelings and put my heart into those wonderful aromas of life. I am with you there in spirit as you bake-making everything right in both our worlds. xo Diana

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  3. What a beautiful post Suzan! I loved hearing about all of your family and I'm so sorry about your Soda...:( You are so right about not letting evil take away our lives.....thank you. Bake on!!!

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    1. Thanks so much Lisa........
      It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas ( even though it's still November ) I've NEVER been this early before )
      xoxo

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  4. This was beautiful, Suzan. It really touched me as I feel the same joy and pain that you do. And I bake to forget and move on some days. This was well written and I felt every word. We will be without our Kane, first time in 14 Christmases. That alone makes it hard to find joy in the preparation of such a glorious time. But, I take a deep breath and focus on the good times and raise my coffee cup to him as I start my day. It just feels right. Enjoy your day and thanks for this heart-warming post. Hugs, Deb

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  5. Good Morning GF. I am baking today too. It feels good to create something delish and the smells oh the smells from baking. Loved this post today. Hugs.
    Kris

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  6. Wonderful post, Suzan! We all have our own way of soothing our hearts when nothing in the world seems right.
    Hugs ~

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  7. You made me cry with your beautiful words and photos. I haven't had TV in a few years. I still know what's going on in the world. You can't really escape it with all the other media we have, and I wouldn't want to be totally ignorant of these things, but at least I don't hear the news over and over again until every aspect of my life seems intolerable. The good in life needs to be celebrated in the firm belief that good will always win over evil.

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    1. What? No t.v.? How do you watch hockey? LMHO !
      You know I never used to watch t.v. - ever - I read - used to devour books - now I can't sleep without the t.v. on in the background - sickening really.
      Thanks Maureen
      xox

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  8. Well said Suzan!! My son was in Paris, just blocks from the carnage at Bataclan, playing at another heavy metal venue with his band, For a little while we didn't know if it was the same venue, and we were terrified until we got a message from him telling us he was locked down in a room at the club and they were waiting for word that it was safe. They finished their tour of Europe despite the urge to come home to their families. He came home last Sunday and I did what any Mom worth her salt would do. I cooked him all his favorites! And I hugged and held him close for a very long time. The world is a terrifying place. I have to believe that even the small things can make a difference somehow. All the joys of the season to you! xxoo

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    1. Wow (kims bliss)... you must have been so upset, I can't imagine!

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    2. Oh Kim - you must have been beside yourself !
      How brave of your son - I would have been on the next plane back probably.
      We had to get on a plane to Europe a week after 9/11 - to Paris actually for business and I couldn't do it - I canceled - John went without me.
      xoxo

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    3. There's something to be said for home sweet home, the final refuge. Much as I would have preferred that they came home, I was proud of their determination to finish the tour. It just meant we had to wait that much longer to get our arms around him. Let me tell you, he was hugged long and hard!! xxoo

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    4. So glad what must have been hours of pain turned out well. Hold him tight.

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  9. Lovely post, Suzan, so well written. Wish I was on your baking list, it all looks delicious!

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  10. Suzan, all I can say is you are a beautiful soul and a heartfelt writer. You express so much love and caring with your words. Blessings to you, John and all of your family as the Holiday Season begins. I feel so lucky I found your blog! xoxoxo Sam

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    1. Wow Sam - thanks SO much for YOUR beautiful words !
      XOXO

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  11. Replies
    1. Suzan, I loved this post. I wish I'd written it. I have a CD called Froggy Christmas and if I knew how I'd send it to you. I thought it would be so corny and yet I enjoy it year after year. It's light hearted and fun, yet some how ( I can figure out yet) it's serious. Sure with I could send it to you. (It's frogs singing Christmas Carols). Bake away my friend. I'm there is spirit and I'd like something in chocolate, thank you very much. :) Sandy

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  12. This post brought tears to my eyes..Beautiful!!!!!

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  13. Baking is so therapeutic -- I am glad you feel better. I need to get started soon. It is very hard to watch the news now, this coming from a former journalism major and total news junkie.

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  14. What an eloquent and beautiful post. I, too, had a son in Paris very nearby three of the terrorist attacks. He is fine and back home. My daughter was less than a mile from the Towers in 2001 in NY when they went down. She evacuated to New Jersey and was hosed down as she got off the boat because at that time they didn't know about contamination. She suffered from ptsd for several years. These attacks in Paris brought a lot back for her.

    I thank God for our fortune...but the other day, I just sat and sobbed. I understand completely your distress. What a joy to bake for family. Bake on!!!

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  15. Yes! When the woes of the world become too much for our tender hearts we turn inward. We turn our hearts to our loved ones and devote our hearts to showing them just how much we love them. I too love to cook and bake my way into their hearts, enjoying the delight in their eyes as they savor home made goodies from momma. May your moments in the kitchen bring you peace and may the love you pour into every morsel be felt by those closest to your heart.

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  16. This is a wonderful post and it made me cry....

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  17. Perfection! I needed this today Thank you!

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  18. Love to bake; especially enjoy seeing the goodies disappear!
    Thanks so much for sharing at AMAZE ME MONDAY!
    Blessings,
    Cindy

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  19. This was heartfelt and simply lovely Suzan! We are living in trouble times for sure and it is scary, but the only thing we can do is pray for peace, remember those who lost their lives and continue to live ours. You're right...it's still a wonderful world and we will NOT let them win. Hugs to you my friend!

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  20. Hello, this was truly a great word... we must love and bake and enjoy every wonderful moment.
    Blessings, Roxy

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  21. I try to stay away from the news as much as I can....only researching online if I really need to know what's going on.

    When bad things happen I go back to Fred Rogers from Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. He would say 'Watch for the helpers. When scary bad things happen look around...look for the helpers. They are always there.' I just love that.

    This video may encourage you as well. It's a Parisian father & son a day after the attack. The sweet trust of the little boy & how his father makes him feel safe again is truly beautiful. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VR1zjZ2Cyaw

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  22. This was a great post. I get you missing Soda still. It to me a lot of first without my Lucy. There were times I thought I heard her at the patio door sometimes.
    When trying to make sense of some of the bad things that happens in our daily lives, we do what comforts us.
    Lucky the people who will benefit with cookies.
    Happy Holidays
    Barbara Ann

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    1. Thanks so much Barbara - between baking all weekend and babysitting Evan tonight for a few hours I'm at peace ................
      XOXOX

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  23. Oh Suzan, what loving kind words. You make me laugh on your Friday 'this and that' chats & you make my heart feel the world's 'sweetness & sadness' with this post. Your family is blessed to have you!!

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    1. Thanks so much ! ( but I'm the blessed one - without a doubt )
      XOXO

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  24. Suzan, this is such a touching post and really summoned up so many emotions. Beautiful. We all need comfort in this crazy world we live in. Blessings to you! Jane

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  25. It sounds like you have a great big family full of love. But I already knew that. :) Happy Holiday season to you! And happy baking. :)

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  26. What a beautiful post Suzan! I love your words and thoughts and encouragement. Hugs. Pam

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  27. Hi Suzan! This is my first visit to your blog and I have enjoyed it very much. ;) I completely resonate with you in baking your feelings away. This year my husband and I are living in Oslo (we are from Texas) and baking has been one of the most important actions I do to keep the homesickness at bay. I turn on a podcast or music (sometimes worship music and sometimes rock) and I bake it up. I think it's because it is an area where I can feel a semblance of control in my life (even if it is an illusion ha!). I hope that your heart is comforted during this sweet Christmas season! Btw your family sounds adorable!

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    1. Hi Gabriela - thanks so much !
      Wow that's quite the move - hope you're adjusting - you have quite the opportunity there to explore Europe !!!
      Hugs to you
      xox

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  28. What a beautiful post--- I'm so glad I found your blog (at The Charm of Home link party). I love your photographs. They are gorgeous. This is such a warm and giving post---- I love it. Thank you---

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  29. Yes, Suzan, you should bake, because our families need us, because we so need happy moments with our families, because if we need to know what's happening in the world, we sometimes need to turn the tv off (something so hard to do right now) and just live. My new favourite thing on tv are commercials, just because there was no commercial breaks for several days on the news channel after the attacks. I'm just so relieved when I turn the tv on and the commercials are on!

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  30. I so did the same thing this week. The sadness in the world is getting to me and the lack of virtues too. I had to craft and bake my blues away! Thanks for sharing at Home Sweet Home!

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Due to a large amount of spam ( that I'm tired of going back to posts and deleting ) I'll be using comment moderation from now on !!!
Can I beat these spammers at their own game? Probably not - but I'm going
to try my damnedest !!!
xoxo