Insert idle chit chat here..................yaddy yadda yaddadadadadadada ! yadda da da da ?
YADDY YADDA YAYAYA DADADA MOMMA MIA !!!!
Now on to the real stuff
I came across a blog last week where it said the author was a Lifestyle Expert.
How is that even possible?
How can someone be an expert on a lifestyle for anyone's life other than their own ( and even then I can't seem to get my own right let alone others )
I'm always suspicious of any blog that proclaims itself to be " expert " in anything. At. All.
What a presumptuous description !
Can people actually buy into that crap?
You really do get wiser as you get older ( trust me - I'm an expert on that )
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I have a few addictions I've never discussed here.
One of them is fries,
I know they're bad.
I know they'll probably shorten my life span.
BUT. I. CAN'T. GIVE. THEM.UP.
and
to
make
matters
worse
they
have
to
be
deep
fried.
Don't suggest that I bake them in the oven - because they taste like cardboard that way.
I don't eat them nightly - or weekly - but I can't go a month without whipping up a batch.
( and now I'm being completely dishonest because it's more like twice a month )
I go on these healthy eating binges - and then - WHAM BAM THANK YOU SAM - I'll have a fry with that salad !
They say you are what you eat - how gross that I'm a greasy slippery french fry.
But to be honest with you being a carrot stick isn't that appealing either, is it?
Anyway that's the only addiction I'm willing to talk about this week.
There's another one that rhymes with BROCOLATE - but I'm not ready to talk about that one just yet.
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The thought crossed my mind last week that if Marco Rubio is the next President of the U.S. then the entire continent of North America will be ruled by 2 44 yr olds - ( Justin Trudeau - our Prime Minister is 44 years old as well ) what are the chances of that happening again? Here or anywhere else on the planet for that matter? These are fascinating facts people and please remember where you read it first.
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I was clearing out some pictures and I came across this one of Soda ( and fell apart for a little bit ) look at her tiny paw prints in the snow.......sniff
And the next day I was cleaning out some drawers in the front porch and came across that very same jacket ( and fell apart for a little bit )
Now what do you suppose that means exactly?
She hated the cold as she got older ( so do I )
She jumped around in it as a young pup ( so did I ) but really hated it over the last few winters.
I think she's telling me to let go.........that she's nice and warm where she is now
And if that's not the most pitiful feeble attempt at comforting myself I don't know what is.
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Ok - lighten up for crying out loud ..........
CRIKEY !
I wish I lived in a reality where I could say CRIKEY and not sound like a complete jerk !
I always thought it was just Australians that said it - but I've heard it said on Downton Abby now as well.
I tried it on John a couple of times this week.
Suzan says - CRIKEY ! CAN YOU FIX THE WIRE ON THE VACUUM BEFORE I KILL MYSELF PLEASE?
John says - The what-what?
Suzan says - Oh CRIKEY - I think you're going deaf
John laughs out loud
Suzan says - What's so CRIKING FUNNY?
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Just because I have twins - and this fascinated me
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I bought a glue gun.
A long long time ago ( when the earth was green and there were more kinds of animals than you've ever seen )
And I have no idea where I've put it.
So...............I've emptied every drawer on the premises and still can't find it.
The good thing is that everything is pretty organized right now.
The bad thing is I need to buy another glue gun.
The good thing is they sell them at the dollar store now.
The bad thing is that once I buy it I'll find the other one nestled somewhere
The good thing is that then I'll have two of them
That's it -
You can only milk so much out about a glue gun on a blog post
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I'm pretty sure I've told you this before - but I have a certain " condition " in that when someone talks about a condition they have e.g. a cold - strep throat - a root canal - a bad cut from a knife - tendonitis - a bad knee - etc
I mysteriously end up with it
All of it.
I'm not joking about that either.
So...........last week when my girlfriend called me up to tell me she had hemorrhoids so severe that the Doctor claimed he'd never seen anything like it - I went into complete panic mode.
Of course I feel bad for her - terrible in fact - but she knows what happens - WHY WOULD SHE TELL ME SUCH A THING???????
Suzan says - You know I'm feeling a little nervous
Girlfriend laughs - I know - I was very hesitant about telling you
By the way - I'm in the process of having a root canal - a totally unexpected one - 2 weeks after this particular girlfriend mentioned hers to me.
I keep calling and texting her to remind her that she has to have this " thing " taken care of .
She seems touched by my concern - so we'll just leave it at that..............for now.
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That root canal?
One of my daughters is a Dental Asst.
Mom says - I'm falling apart - literally I'm falling apart.
Lindsay says - Ok Mom - enough with the dramatics - you need a root canal
Mom says - My teeth are going to start crumbling in my head now ...........
Lindsay's been laughing about it since I said it - she keeps picturing my mouth turning to dust and when I open it to speak just dried dust tumbles out.
SICK.
She has one hell of a SICK take on things.
These are serious issues.
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So.........I babysat Evan last night
Who was a perfect little monster almost the whole time - he cried and screamed his little heart out.
I tried to feed him but he cried so much he started choking on his bottle
I laid him on his tummy - he howled - I tried to rub his little tummy he kicked and screamed louder
I bounced him on my hip walking all over the house and singing to him the entire time - he just bawled.
I brought him upstairs to my bed and rocked him till he fell asleep and then I sat there beside him a virtual prisoner.
There was no way I'd move an inch........no how.
Until I needed to blow my nose and went into a complete panic.
I ended up opening a drawer as quietly as I could and blowing my nose in a pair of socks.
DON'T JUDGE !!!!!!!!
That's how much I love him ( well that's my story and I'm sticking to it )
I can tell you I've never done THAT before so it must be love, right?
His parents came to the door and I wearily came downstairs only to have him start bouncing in my arms with the biggest smiles and giggles you can imagine.
I may love him but he loves THEM !
Ok - I'm off here - I have tons to do this weekend and I need to get some writing time in -
hope you all have a wonderful one and that Spring is inching it's way toward your part of the world.
Hugs
I'd blow you a kiss but I'm nervous of dust flying out of my mouth.
Me
Hemorrhoids are no joke. Not that I would know. Ahem...
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of hemorrhoids, did you see our last debate? Everyone of them...a big ole hemorrhoid.
Have a wonderful weekend!
Dental work and root canals are my biggest fear I think. I've had 5 root canals and actually they weren't as bad as I though they'd be. Having crowns done was probably worse - laying in a chair for hours with my mouth open - rubber dam, suction - you get the picture. Not pleasant. I have dreams about my teeth crumbling. Or I'm chewing on them. Yep. Weird! Usually within weeks of such a dream I end up breaking off a piece of tooth and on it goes. So don't worry about the root canal. They freeze you and sometimes you get to watch tv while in the chair. :) What a sweet photo of Evan! You are so lucky to be able to babysit him. I like the pic of you at the end too. It reminds me of Goldie Hawn!! Have a super weekend.
ReplyDeleteAwww Suzan, 20 years after the fact, I came across my cat's collar and busted into tears...so less than a year --- you are entitled. She was 19 --which is really old for a kitty.
ReplyDeleteI was lucky enough to share the first two weeks of my grand's life....and so she has always been happy in my arms...that is the upside of mommy's having emergency C-sections...giving us grannies...full reign...lol. The more time you spend---singing always helps... I think.. You could have your daughter tape a bit of you humming or singing and use it for soothing---and maybe next time he comes---the voice thing will help? Have a great weekend, Sandi.
Are some of your fingernails curving in at the sides???
ReplyDeleteCrikey, you've had a week of it. But look at sweet Evan! He's darling. Have a good weekend and make sure you have a healthy amount of fries, Suze. A couple of pounds should do it. :)
ReplyDeletexoxo
I love your Friday chats. They make my day. WE are leaving in a few mins. to go pick up Colleen (our 3 yr. old granddaughter) at day care, take her to dinner, take her home, play, then bath and bed. I hope it goes more smoothly than your babysitting :):) CRIKEY!!!!!!! Have a great weekend. It is supposed to be 60 here on Sunday and I am praying they are right cause I NEED to get stuff done in the garage and outside.
ReplyDeleteI want to say that I now know from this last picture you posted here, that you are Goldie writing this blog under an alias of Suzan. That last picture IS Goldie. I have to give you credit, Goldie, you have some imagination making up all this stuff that you do as "Suzan".
ReplyDeleteI guess I can go on with your ruse and talk to your alter-ego.
Evan is sure a cutie bug! Too bad he gave you such a hard time. Anytime I have babysat for someone else it's been the same, though. Esp young children Evan's age.
Your glue gun ran away with my glue gun because I got mine about the same time you say you got yours, and same story---I have torn the house apart and still can't find it!
Hope you don't get the "THING" like your friend did! Just wear your "Jinx Repellent", you know, your colander on your head. I wear tin foil on my head so that the aliens can't read my mind and won't abduct me, so I am sure your "Jinx Repellent" will work for you! You're welcome!
The twin baby video is just precious! I love the way the twin on the left reaches out and holds on to the other one. Very touching! What is Thalasso bath I wonder? It looks so soothing maybe that is a good thing to try when a baby is fussy(?).
Love you!
Don't forget to wear your "Jinx Repellent" hat, and then report the "John says....Suzan says"...after John sees you wearing your "Jinx Repellent", (that is, IF he notices!). Oh yeah, is your husband's name really John, Goldie, or is that an alias too?
Hugs,
Laura, (AKA Ethel Hazel)
Another post of yours that just brings smiles to my life. Next time I sneeze or cough, It'll probably be the old stink of dust blowing in the wind, I just know it. Next I'd like to talk about farts ..even more fun...Well not for you, but here in our house, even the cat leaves the room when gas is passed. (I am trying to be funny, hope you know that) (but true story) I probably should not have said the word far. Hope you forgive me....Hugs from WI
ReplyDeleteso much to take in here, but really I'm just stuck on the socks issue. Not judging, just laughing. Crikey, you've blown your nose all over my socks!
ReplyDeleteAw, I think Soda is telling you she's warm and happy. Poor Suzan. It hurts so, doesn't it? (Hugs)
ReplyDeleteThe twin video was fascinating - being a twin, I am curious about all things twin.
French fries..my biggest weakness. I love them.
Crikey, a root canal? That's awful! I'd be flipping out a bit too.
Sweet Evan. I make babies cry. I don't know why..I like babies, I really do. Maybe I'm not squishy enough although that's changing. Haha. Have a good weekend! Hugs
Those twins in the bath are just mesmerizing!
ReplyDeleteP.S. You are NOT Goldie Hawn, she is 70... you are MUCH younger and prettier!
You made me laugh about the "lifestyle" expert! I often think the same thing. How did they become an expert on lifestyles? We're all lifestyle experts in our own world.
ReplyDeleteI feel your sadness when you find mementos of Soda. Yesterday we were in Home Depot and they had dog beds for sale and in a quick instant I thought I'll pick one up for Chance and a millisecond later that little voice reminded me he is gone.
Your grandson is such a sweetie. Good luck with your root canal. I have always had issues with my teeth and it usually involves a root canal!
I so understand not moving when he finally fell asleep. xoxo Su
ReplyDeleteHay, there! I'm a little late to the party again, but I need a little sympathy myself. I had to have a crown replaced...I know...not a root canal, but I bet mine took longer than yours! There's a new procedure that replaces having to sit there with a tray of goo in your mouth to make the impressions. Twice, dammit! They use this "gun", for lack of a better word, and they run it along your teeth. It maps out the teeth, hills and valleys, and supporting gum structure. It all depends on how skilled the tech is on how long it takes. Then, they send this image to a lab that is located in the office and it builds a porcelain crown. It's purple. The dentist fits it into your mouth, then the tech varnishes it with a white to match the surrounding teeth and fires it. This process takes about an hour, and you wait in your room while that all goes on. Then, the dentists checks the fit again. He can grind some of it if he needs to — better to have too much than too little. It turns out he wasn't happy with how thin mine was, so I had to return the next day. I spent over 3 1/2 hours there one day and over an hour the next. Is it worth it? Yes...the goo gags me. I'm just glad I brought a book and a magazine to entertain myself. {I've had root canals. They went fine. It's better than they used to be, as I've been told.}
ReplyDeleteTHEN...I won't tell you what I had done at the dermatologists, but let's just say be aware of how your skin looks and feels, and if you notice any changes, talk to a doctor about it. I've got a great prognosis, just so you know.