Why I keep a pen and paper beside me always............

Please note these are not complaints - they are merely observations
Sometimes when we're laying in bed and one of these conversations take place,
I promptly jump out of bed and run to the office to write them down - they're far
too priceless to be left to memory.
Just call me Emily ( as in Bronte )
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Cooking is a VERY new endeavor of John's -
He wanted to make hamburgers and it was too snowy outside to use the bar-b-que
so I mentioned that he could always broil them.
After dinner I went in to clean the kitchen - and discovered a cookie tray sitting on the counter.
Suzan says - Don't tell me you're going to make cookies - wow - I'm impressed!!!!
John says - No, why?
Suzan says - There's a cookie tray on the counter
John says - We had broiled hamburger, remember? ( shaking his head at my ridiculous question )
Suzan says - Why didn't you use the broiler?
John says - I DID use the broiler
Suzan says - Oh because there's a cookie tray on the counter
John says - YES - BECAUSE I BROILED THE HAMBURGER
Suzan - Ok - so why is there a cookie tray on the counter!!!!!!!!!!!!!
John says - you make no sense sometimes
Suzan says - John - what's a broiler?
John says - It's on the dial on the stove.
Suzan says - It's a pan you use when you're BROILING something.
John says - BROIL is an option on the stove Suzan, not a special pan......................

who's on first?
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Watching something on Cindy McCain ( John McCain's wife ) and they're talking about how wealthy she is - and John says - yeah well of course - she's married to a McCain
I say - John McCain wasn't wealthy until HE married HER
John says - C'mon - McCain's is a gigantic company
Do you mean McCain's Foods?
First of all they're a Canadian company John
And second of all there's NO RELATION
Oh - maybe I was thinking of John Kerry then
( ok that makes sense I suppose - McCain's is most famous for their frozen fries - John Kerry's wife is an heiress of Heinz Ketchup - do you see the connection there? )
You have to pay close attention in this house........................

who's on second?
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John asked me for directions on how to boil pasta.
No punch line here, that's it.
Except it's only fair to tell you - he was dead serious.
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Watching something the other night - and the subject of Redd Foxx comes up and John says
" Oh look - Red Skeleton "  ( it doesn't count if you get the first name right )
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I was listening to some Jim Croce on you tube - and I played Bad Bad Leroy Brown -
Suzan says - I can remember dancing to that song
Suzan says - Did you dance to it?
John says - Yep  ( John does NOT dance )
Suzan says - what dance did you do?
John says - the hippy hippy hop
Suzan says - what the hell is that ?
John says - DON'T POST THAT - YOU UNDERSTAND?
( oh but I have to John - I absolutely have to )
I almost fell off the chair laughing -
I'm still laughing - is that not the funniest thing?
He stormed out of the office with me chasing him down the hall shrieking with laughter
I've been hippy hippy hopping all over the house for the past hour.....................
Well my version of it anyway - he won't show me how to do it.
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Last night we were watching one of those true crime shows and it's hosted by Susan Lucci - I think it's called Fatal Vows ( not important ) and John didn't know who she was, so I was explaining that she played a sort

of a Scamp - a camp and a bit of of Tramp, 

John says - Very good Suzan

Suzan says - What?

John says - A Scamp a camp and a bit of a Tramp 

Suzan says - you think it's catchy?

John says - Yeah, you could probably make a song out of that.....................
Suzan says - Who do you think should sing that?  Hmmm. Maybe Cher?

Suzan says - IT'S ALREADY A SONG

Suzan says - Where were you in the 70's anyway?

John says - Oh yeah - now I remember

Suzan says - No you don't
John says - Of course I do
Suzan says - ok - where's it from

John says - Chicago...........................

Now some of you may not remember that song - but if you were around in the 70's I just don't know
how it's possible!

( btw I could soooo picture Renee Zellwegger singing that and doing the hippy hippy hop instead of "Roxie" ) in Chicago ( the musical )...............
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John says - why do you constantly jump up in the middle of a conversation?

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