It's here everyone - another Tongue in Cheek Tuesday - except this time we want to hear a bunch of tongues wagging other than our own! In fact we get sick to death of hearing our own..................so we decided to make a " hen linky party " out of it..............
Share your stories - where do you hide your junk?
For my submission - I'm revisiting a post I did last summer - it really IS my dirty little secret.........
My Purse! Enjoy - and please feel free to submit your own ( we know there's a lot of you out there - no matter how much deny it - come on now - it's time to come CLEAN - you'll feel better for it - I promise LOL
My Dirty Little Secret ( and I do have one )
My shoulder has been hurting me badly - it's a recurring problem that happens periodically in the course of a year.................and I always figure it's from lugging furniture around because I can't wait for help - if no one's around I move it myself regardless of size or weight.
Anyway today I had to find something in my purse - and had to empty it to find it which is something I'm having to do more and more - and I simply cannot believe what I schlep around with me.
Unbelievable........................ridiculous to the point of (another ) disorder lurking in my life.
Totally unassuming looking, isn't it? You'd never know that I had a problem just looking at it, right?
Well lets take a peak inside, shall we?
I mean all we really need to have in that bag is our wallet ( even that is overflowing with useless shit! )
Sunglasses - perhaps some tissues - car - house keys - lipstick - period.
Everything else can stay at home until we get back, right?
Here's what I pulled out of mine this morning
WALLET
2 PAIRS OF SUNGLASSES ( because maybe I'll lose one pair? ) and the 2 gigantic cases that go with that
4 PACKS OF GUM - a couple of them only have 1 or 2 gums in them -
8 PENS - yeah 8 of them - because what if 7 of them ran out of ink?
MY PASSPORT - because you just never know when you may have to hop on a plane
6 HAND SANITIZERS - which I have to use just for putting my hands in this filthy bag
AT LEAST 30 PAINT SWATCHES all neatly fastened together with an elastic band
A PACKAGE OF BANDAIDS - keep in mind my kids are all grown -
TOOTH BRUSH - TOOTHPASTE - DENTAL FLOSS ( 4 pks of dental floss )- ok the dental floss is a good thing but I have never, not once, in the 25 years I have been carrying these items - brushed my teeth
in a public restroom - I know people do it and good for them - but I have simply never done so,
nor do I suppose I ever will - what the hell do I keep carrying them for -
6 LIPSTICKS - starting to notice a pattern here? I can never just have one of anything
3 EYELINERS
4 EYESHADOWS -
2 TAMPONS - have not had a period in years - but hey you never know - the clock may
reverse one day - and I may be wearing white - and Oh God - where are those emergency
tampons when I need them?
AN EMERGANCY KOTEX PAD - what the hell? I never even used them when I could have -
but again they can be used as a bandage in an emergency - but I swear I never put that in my purse.
AN ADDRESS BOOK - lmao - who the hell has an address book in their purse anymore - and it's
so old most of the numbers no longer exist - and they're all on my cell phone anyways.
CELL PHONE
3 COMPACT MIRRORS ( so I can see my nose from all angles? )
2 RER TRAIN TICKETS FROM.....................Paris - last trip was 2 years ago
3 EMERY BOARDS
ENOUGH CHANGE TO PROBABLY PAY MY MORTGAGE OFF - in pennies
A GROCERY BAG WITH A PAIR OF FLIP FLOPS ( and the car always has 3 or 4 pairs
of shoes laying on the floor )
A PAINT LID OPENER ( so that's where it was - I've been using a butter knife to open my
paint cans )
20 REDUNDANT BUSINESS CARDS - the ones I should have in my purse are on my desk
Do you think this may be the source of my shoulder problem?
And it gets better
Whenever John and I go out - he always asks if he can put his cigars in my purse - and I always
think Ok - this just may be the straw that broke Suzan's back - literally.
I've gotten better - when I was younger I used to carry my curling iron around with me - and now
I'll let you in on another secret - dating myself dreadfully again but here goes,
When I was 5 or 6 Chatty Cathy was a BIG thing...................and I used to stuff her in my school
bag and carry her with me to school and back placed in between my books, so this problem is not a new one-
It's time for change Suzan -
I'm cleaning out my purse today..................I think at this point it's the only way I'm ever going to lose
weight anyway
There's absolutely no reason to carry everything but the kitchen sink in it anymore.
Keep in mind that when you link up today - your post will appear on all 5 blogs
( so you REALLY will be airing your dirty laundry ) and to see my fellow bloggers posts on this subject
simply click on the below links - you're guaranteed a laugh!
Kirb Appeal - Kirby ( Krazy Kirby )
Mellywood's Mansion - Mel ( Mad Mel )
Silo Hill Farm - Danni ( Delusional Danni )
The Bliss Ranch - Bliss ( Bonkers Bliss )
and of course there's me Simply Sane Suzy..................what am I doing with all of these nutcases?
What's up with the purses??? When it gets full, switch to a new one and start the mess all over again!
ReplyDeleteHa! My college roommate once found a hammer in her purse. She was wondering why it was so heavy.
ReplyDeleteI have to clean out mine constantly. I"m amazed at how much change I lazily throw into the bottom rather than put it in my wallet. The change weighs a ton!
lol I don't carry band aids and my kids are little! I couldn't think of a more disgusting place to brush our teeth than ion a public rest room, I'm glad they're unused! Love this post!
ReplyDeleteOh I have junk in every one of my purses that hang off the "boobs" that's a whole mini series.
Oh Suzan..you are hysterical! I always said, if there is ever a disaster or if the plane goes down in the jungle, I could survive for weeks on what's in my purse....but, I think I'll grab yours instead!!! (Please throw a couple of granola bars in there, because I'll need some food.)
ReplyDeleteI'm feeling a little bad it was a good week for my purse to make it's internet debut, makes your's look that much crazier, I mean sane.
ReplyDeleteBliss
LOL- It must be the age. About 5 years ago I looked in my purse and saw many of the same things...doubles of many things...totally needless things (I was carrying tampons in case my daughters were with me and needed one!;>) Anyway, I cleared my purse and only carry about HALF the stuff with me anymore. I am off to visit any other hoarders I can find----GREAT FUN PARTY! xo Diana
ReplyDeleteFunny....I just dumped the contents of my purse on the dining room table...before reading this post. I know that within a mere few days it will be back to its original state but hey...
ReplyDeleteI just cleaned mine out a week or so ago...it'll need it again sooner rather than later. It's amazing the stuff that winds up in there.
ReplyDeleteA purse!?! You talked about your purse!?! So did Bliss. I feel up a creek without a paddle for showing off Horror Monster. Of course, I can always get a paddle from one of your purses! Have you never heard of pockets - those thing on either side of your jeans?
ReplyDeleteThat's a lot of crap in there Suzan. Did the phone numbers in that old address book contain any letters? haha. My purse is usually full of receipts from shopping. Wads and wads of them. I usually find lost money wrapped in them when I clean it out. other than that it's a paper mess.
ReplyDeleteYou should FEEL it lmho - I swear to God - it weighs a ton - I walk lopsided lol
DeleteThanks for coming by Cindy!
Hugs,
Suzan
OMGoodness! I just saw all the same junk in my big purse, too! I have a zipper in it full with stupid, old receipts, I don't even need any more, or payments and junk, like an old piece of splenda that's broken and spilling all over my bag, lol..I just emptied it out! Had I known about this party I would have taken a pic and than show you the NOW organization...(hope it lasts). Thanks for your alwys so genrous visits, you make my day, pretty lady. Big hugs,
ReplyDeleteFABBY
What's wrong with a KOTEX pad?...they are super absorbent and can mop up coffee like nobody's business! I say THAT'S a keeper! Obviously we were meant to find each other...I still have my Paris Metro pass in my purse (I take it out and cry now and then) and I actually remember Chatty-Cathy...OLD FOLKS RULE AND THEN THEY DROOL...yeah baby...
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing wrong with a kotex pad per se - but I didn't put it in there!!!!!!!!!
DeleteHave no idea how it got in there lmao!
And the packaging was off it so it was just a mess of gauze and fluff in the bottom of the abyss
My girlfriend sold her Chatty Cathy - complete with crayon enhanced face for 600 dollars on ebay!!!
Wish I'd saved mine lol.
XOX
My mom got me a new purse for my birthday because she said "your old purse is so heavy, I'm sure it's the reason your back aches"... I didn't tell her maybe it was more because of what was inside the purse than because of the purse itself!
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun link party. These stories and the comments with them are priceless.
ReplyDeleteHey, didn't Chatty Cathy accidently "go off" while you were bouncing her off stuff inside your school bag? Weren't you surrounded by some confused people who couldn't figure out where that rogue voice was coming from?
Sounds like my daughters purse! LOL! When we go shopping she is always begging me to carry her purse cause it's too heavy. And I always tell her if she is going to put everything she owns in it she is going to carry it! She calls it her bottomless pit and thinks it is the funnniest thing - till she has to carry it for very long!
ReplyDeletei have some horrid messes but I'm not really ready to air them all over the world yet! Maybe when I am to the point that I am able to haul the garage sale and event sale stuff out I will show before pics. It's bad - take my word for it :)
LOL Awesome post, Suzan! I had a Chatty Cathy, too, but she was stolen by a girl a few doors down. :( And if you didn't put the pad in there, who did? Or is it a memory thing...ya know? That thing we loose over time?
ReplyDeleteDebbie ;)
Suzan,
ReplyDeleteOMG!!!!You crack me up. I just switched to a small crossbody bag to elevate the whole shoulder problem I was having. It has helped and half the junk in my big purse was useless stuff anyway so I have been pretty happy with the smaller purse.
With that said I have to say that if we ever travel together or are on the same flight and the plane crashes I want to be with you and that purse we could survive for days maybe weeks with what you have in there!!!!LOL
Kris
Hi Suzan!!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd here I thought it was because one of your legs was shorter than the other.
Ya kill me!!!!
I use to carry real small purses until a few years ago and now they're big. As a diabetic I have stuff in my purse that if I didn't carry my hospital ID with me, I'm sure I would be hauled up on the carpet for the contents...Needle tips, finger poker and 6 containers of "sugar tabs" so that if I go lo BS, then I have them on me.
Lipsticks just hop into my bag. I had 4 of one kind 3 of another and keys!!! How many sets of keys do I need and 'No' I'm not carrying your(hubby or sons) keys or that flashlight that you didn't want to put back in the house. I think I should call my purse (luggage) a mopurse/mobag or wifpurse/wifbag.
And last but certainly not least, I was asked if my purse was my carry-on last year. 'No, it's my purse,' I said as I retrieved it from him. He just shook his head. Thanks buddy!!!!
Have a great week Suzan!!!!
Pam
xox
Hi Suzan, following from Melly and Bliss! Thanks for sharing your junk in your purse, you've got everything covered from bad breath to trips abroad, and hang nails to "penny slot casino" girls night out!!! Like a Purse 007!! LOL, thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteIt must be spring cleaning! I cleaned mine 3 days ago because I could no longer close it. To my credit it a very small purse, but still!! I only go small, because otherwise it would be as heavy as a carryon.
ReplyDeleteMine IS basically a carry on - and have used it for such LOL
DeleteXOX
I'd laugh at you keeping feminine protection around when you haven't used it in years except I have a dusty package of tampons in my dresser drawer. I kept them for guests. Maybe I'll start passing them out as party favours! "Here, I saved you a tampon. Don't need one? Take it home for your wife!". I never seem to have anything useful in my purse. I could use one of your extra pens or a tissue.
ReplyDeleteWell, to be honest my purse is fairly organized and well managed. But... we moved from our 2000 sq.ft. home into our 790 sq.ft. beach condo and I now store things under my bed. I have never done that before, but.... you have to find space for storage somewhere. Right? Extra folding chairs, luggage, exercise equipment, my linens in a zippered plastic bag, my cricut and crafting supplies, sewing supplies . OMG it is unbelievable how much I have stored under that queen size bed. Am I the only one that does this??? I hope not.
ReplyDeleteWe downsized from 2400 sq. feet to 1100 square feet - think I'm trying to use my purse to make up for the missing space LMHO -
DeleteAnd under my bed is complete storage too!
Thanks so much for coming by
Hugs,
Suzan
LMAO!! Great post Suzan!
ReplyDeleteMy purse doubles as my weight lifting regimen. I just constantly switch from shoulder to shoulder, doing some lifts and stretches as I'm switching and voila... my arms stay in great shape. No sagging skin on these babies. My hubby says I carry my life in my purse. Looks like you carry two or three.
I had a Chatty Cathy that met with a very sad fate. When I was four I gave her a makeover with some of my mom's make up. Needless to say it wasn't pretty.
Hugs,
Tuula
So funny Suzan! You certainly have a variety of things hidden in there. And you get a work out carrying it around. I cleaned mine out recently with the help of my hubby, he needed a receipt that was buried among many other receipts, he was so sweet, we made a keep pile and a throw away pile. We finally found it, I thanked him for helping me and of course I put it in the throw away pile. I didn't know where I'd put it, freaking out looking for it again, then my hubby dug through the trash FINDING it for the 2nd time that day. Needless to say, he kept it, not letting it near me, I seriously had a meltdown, where is my brain? He was sweet though, if nothing else, he got to see first hand my peri-menopausal, forgetful, what am I doing, crazy sometimes, brain in action. Thank goodness he does have sympathy!
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about the pens. I'm nearly convinced that they breed in handbags.
ReplyDeleteI keep saying that I am going to make a purse organizer, but promptly forget to actually do it.
My purse was stolen twice in the past year. That really puts your purse on a diet! I've learned to make it with very very little in my purse. It's kindof a relief! I cannot believe you still carry tampons in your purse. I threw out every one I could find within 4 square miles of me as soon as I had the chance.
ReplyDeleteHaha...okay, you are seriously cracking me up. Danni invited me to come join in at the next TiCT, so, of course, I've been reading some of the older cheeky posts. I can't wait to come play and see what everyone else does!!
ReplyDelete-andi