Bizarre Emails I get................

I've been very fortunate to have so many people ( people I don't know from Adam ) take such an interest in my well being - really - I feel completely embraced with an over abundance of love sometimes............
Here's just a small example

NUMBER 1

VERY IMPORTANT TIME-SENSITIVE INFO
suzanharvard@videotron.ca

The MORTGAGE-REFINANCING program from the President is now in Full Effect. This is GREAT news for average home owners in the U.S..

Take full-advantage with lower mortgage rates than ever available!

Starting Thursday Morning, you are eligible to receive back-up to-$12,000 http://bmx.despiteearlyday.net/move.html?date=5853570605b7+2639695ratesite/notice=766142806

Funds to support the program will not last forever...


Kind Regards,

Marcus-Hallman

+++++++++
Well thanks so much Marcus - for considering me - does that mean this is extended to Canadian residents as well?
Bliss is going to hit the ceiling with this one lol____
______________________________________________________


Number 2

suzanharvard@videotron.ca STAY CALM - PLEASE DON't PANIC

-_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_-

Early today (Friday March 15th) an important matter to your personal information came to us regarding an inquiry that was made online by someone you know well and your personal information plus background history was accessed. From our experience, the perpetrator is seeking information about something in your past. This could be something criminal or not. 

Likely that there is an issue somewhere in your past that you really don't want others to see? Now is the time to make sure you know what people are seeing about you. 
The possibility of having a background check run on you increases greatly each day. Imagine a future/current employer, landlord, or someone you know taking a look into your personal history. 

Take Action into your own hands with our simple, easy-to-use Record Locator. It will allow you direct, easy access to your most intimate, personal information.

++++++++
too late - I'm already panicking - ok - I'm going to come clean now everyone - since someone is digging up information about me to bribe me with in the future.
I was once a hooker in Amsterdam - I prayed this would never leak out - but it looks like my past has caught up with me.
Hate the sin - not the sinner.

______________________________________________________

Number 3 Hello,
I am an investor looking to invest in entrepreneurial teams with big ideas and a need for seed capital to turn their ideas into great companies. I believe every business man is basically an entrepreneur, for we all strive to achieve optimal goals using limited resources. In seeking out worthwhile investment opportunities, we are always on the lookout for ventures whose principal’s exhibit a high level of creativity combined with the right amount of experience in the chosen field.
Kindly take out a moment of your very busy schedule to reply me on my private mail :princehassanmuktar@yahoo.com.hk  for more details on this investment project
Yours.
Prince Hassan Muktar.

+++++++++
Turns out in the end he thought I was too much of a risk - being a former Hooker from Amsterdam and all.

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Number 4 I thought this was an ad for foot fungi - seriously
It's a pedicure - if that doesn't scream SPRING - I don't know what does.....
Nothing like flowers sprouting out from your toe nails to make you feel all summery like

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Number 5

Do you want to get slimmer. 

I just want you to look good and feel better about yourself. http://j.mp/15BiNlk I just want you to know about what lifted my whole life. Swimmers have been taking it for years.

++++++
ahhh- but have hookers been taking this for years?  If so I'm all over it - thanks for thinking of me.

_____________________________________________________
Number 6

Shed 10 Lbs In Time For Your Easter Brunch?
Its now possible suzanharvard@videotron.ca
Remove excess abdominal fat quickly by eating this hightly effective fruit that burns more calories then a 30 minute run.
Forget the days of watching what you eat or worrying about how much time you put at the gym.
This Spring, look your best while eating all the fast food you want.

+++++++++
Hmmm - how does he know I have abdominal fat - isn't that a little creepy - it's very kind of him - but wow is that creepy - has he been staking my house watching me come and go?

________________________________________________________________________________

Number 7

You can look great and eat well. 
I want you to look good. http://j.mp/11WOdCa Fire your personal trainer if you have one. 

Good bye.

+++++++++++
Good-bye

________________________________________________________________________________

Number 8

Please take a quick moment to view your Background Report For FREE. Make sure you correct any inaccuracies. This could get you the apartment you applied for or the job you interviewed for!

We're Giving you full, complete 24-hour access to Use our one-of-a-kind Record Locator, easy-access to your personal background information is just a click away... http://vmx.absentimportantlife.com/limit.aspx?date=1869269174d6+8548310Instant-Checkmate/notice=433168003

This Is Your Exclusive Chance to Make Sure Your Background History is Accurate.

The longer you don't access your Background Report, the more the likelihood information that is not True will be added.

Don't let This Information stop You from Getting that New Job or the Apartment You Want.

+++++++++++
That new apartment I want is in Manhattan - they don't care about your past there.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Number 9

Attn Beneficiary Please send the diplomat who is stranded at Hatfield-Atlanta Airport your address where to make your delivery. His name is John Mike and he arrived at Hatfield-Atlanta Airport three days ago with your package and he will need to proceed to your address. Please E-mail him your Phone number and all identities that will help him for smooth delivery. The bellow is his contact. Don't let him know the content because it contains                                                                                                                                               7.2 millions USA DOLLAR Email (john345mike@hotmail.com) Your full name________   Mary Jane Your country_______    Amsterdam Your phone numbers_________ Cucumber Your age ___________none of your beeswax Your occupation________hooker  Marital statue-                    1 of 10 wives to the King of Siam Rev. Dr. Richard Bruno DHL DIRECTOR ___________________________________________________________________________________________ Number 10 Collective Approval Was Given By The Three Major Credit Reporting Agencies Granting You An Increase To Your Credit-Score Your reference number is: ################################ We have been instructed to provide a one-time view of your new score - no charge today only. Generation time today: 18 seconds. ++++++++++ sorry 18 seconds is just not enough time for me ___________________________________________________________________________________________ Number 11 Record # 1577445617358961674 suzanharvard@videotron.ca: Destructive Information From Your Past Was Just Posted Online (Thursday) 11:30am EST. BEFORE others find out TAKE CONTROL ^==^==^==^==^==^==^==^==^==^==^==^==^==^==^==^==^==^==^==^==^==^== REMOVE these negative discrepancies by verifying the information ++++++++ Silly people - I'm the one that just posted it !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Too late for bribes now ____________________________________________________________________________________________  and number 12 is a doozy Hey there suzanharvard@videotron.ca, Get girls with little to no effort...They will be falling all over you: http://www.geckoloco.com/acquire/debate/2kfBXv6y6OoudYQoRDM5_IyhxgD0Dklm5Gtpr04AS2M=/So1tc5256u.htm This technique is the ultimate "equalizer" - it will allow you to beat out guys who are taller, wealthier, better looking or even more well-endowed. Even if you've barely kissed a girl before - it doesn't matter. Because when women sense you have the traits he reveals on this video (which btw, have nothing to do with being "alpha")... they can't help but want you uncontrollably. Go here to watch it now: http://www.geckoloco.com/acquire/debate/2kfBXv6y6OoudYQoRDM5_IyhxgD0Dklm5Gtpr04AS2M=/So1tc5256u.htm Trust me, this is unlike anything you've ever seen before. Watch Josh's infamous "goldfish" video... http://www.geckoloco.com/acquire/debate/2kfBXv6y6OoudYQoRDM5_IyhxgD0Dklm5Gtpr04AS2M=/So1tc5256u.htm And let me know what you think, okay? - Josh ++++++ Hi Josh I've never had a problem attracting girls to me for some weird reason - but thanks so much for the offer to help _____________________________________________________________________________________________ I'm telling you - just when I think the world is turning into a cold place - I'm bombarded with all this love. Makes a girl feel kind of special Friday's giggle................ Have a wonderful weekend all ................ Don't turn the t.v. on - or you'll be sure to ruin it Much love,