AND I'M HEARTBROKEN.
RIP
MAKE THE ANGELS LAUGH ROBIN
AND MAY THIS OPEN UP A DIALOGUE ON DEPRESSION AND OTHER MENTAL HEALTH CARE ISSUES - TOO MANY FIGHT A LOSING BATTLE WITH DEMONS.
HE BROUGHT JOY TO MILLIONS WITH HIS COMEDY
YET COULDN'T BRING JOY INTO HIS OWN SOUL
WHERE IT WAS SO DESPERATELY NEEDED.
IF YOU KNOW OF SOMEONE WHO IS SUFFERING
REACH OUT
WHETHER THEY WANT YOU TO OR NOT
WHETHER THEY'VE CLOSED THE DOOR IN YOUR FACE
WHETHER THEY TRY TO REASSURE YOU THEY'RE OK
YOU'LL KNOW WHEN THEY'RE NOT
DON'T GIVE UP ON THEM
THEY'RE WORTH IT
TRUST ME ON THIS ONE
DEPRESSION IS A DISEASE
AND IT'S DEADLY
I KNOW
BECAUSE AT ONE POINT IN MY LIFE
I SUFFERED FROM IT MYSELF
I HID AWAY FROM THE WORLD
INSTEAD OF SEEKING HELP
AND IT WAS THE WORST THING I COULD HAVE DONE
IT LASTED FOR 2 YEARS
2 YEARS THAT I WILL NEVER GET BACK
AND THOUGH I CAME OUT ON THE OTHER SIDE
TOO MANY - FAR TOO MANY
DO NOT
HEARING THIS YESTERDAY
BROUGHT SO MUCH OF IT BACK
THAT IT TERRIFIED ME
BE WELL MY FRIENDS
ALL MY LOVE
Hi Suzan,
ReplyDeleteI just heard; it's early Tuesday morning here, across the pond, and I am DEVASTATED. He was my inspiration as a young drama student at the U of T, a multi talented, sweet and generous soul. He will be greatly missed. RIP, Mr. Williams.
xo
Poppy
It's so heartbreaking... Such a sad ending to a remarkable life. I'm so glad you were able to seek help and I pray for yr continued healing Suzan.
ReplyDeleteIt is a horrible ending to such a beloved star. Thanks for your post on depression. It may help someone. It is so easy for others to just say he was a coward for killing himself but I can't even imagine the depths of his despair to end his life. I've never suffered from depression but even when I'm just having a bad day, it is sometimes very hard to see that things will get better.
ReplyDeleteWe were watching the evening news with Scott Pelley last night and he announced it just as they were going off the air. I jumped online and there was nothing about it so I was praying it was one of those hoaxes...alas, it was not:(
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, we need a more open dialog when it comes to discussing mental illness. A young mom disappeared in Oregon a couple of weeks ago, her body was found last week and it was a suicide. Her family swore she would never have left her kids but obviously, she was in a very dark place that nobody else knew about:(
RIP Robin
Good Morning, I have just heard on the radio that Robin Williams has passed away. I was so sad on hearing this as he was such a talented man. When my daughters were young, they used to love Mork and Mindy and of course I could list so many films that made us laugh, but I won't. I am just so sad that he has gone.
ReplyDeleteIt was very brave of you to speak out about how you suffered with depression, because it tends to be an illness which is not talked about.
I have to tell you Suzan, you are a VERY talented person and you always make me SMILE everytime I visit you.
Best Wishes to you.
Daphne
There seems to be a high ratio between those that are funny on the outside and suffer from depression on the inside for some reason - self mechanism for survival perhaps?
DeleteThanks so much for your kind words Daphne - it was a very difficult thing to admit on my blog - since I've only started sharing that particular experience very very recently - it was a deep dark secret. I suffered from it for 2 years - and cannot imagine how someone could live with it a life time - almost impossible I would guess.
Much love to you
XOXO
I am still in shock over this news. I had a horrible round of depression myself after my daughter was born. I am grateful my husband insisted I go see the counselor. It took a year but I finally came out of it. It's an awful thing to deal with. You feel so alone. RIP Robin. You will be sorely missed.
ReplyDeleteWell put, Suzan.
ReplyDeleteHearing this news last night kinda knocked the wind out of my sails. He had a pretty profound effect upon many people.
ReplyDeleteHow tragic :( He will be missed!
ReplyDeleteHi Suzan,
ReplyDeleteI'm heartbroken too. He made me and millions of others laugh countless times, it seems so ironic that he should die so sad. Thank you for raising awareness of depression.
Thank you Vashti - my heart is broken too - in a million pieces.
Deletexox
It is heartbreaking, when someone you admire for their gift of laughter, is so devastatingly sad on the inside. Thanks for sharing your own experience...hopefully it will help others to be brave and seek help, or to give help.
ReplyDeleteWe were so upset and quite shocked when we heard the news yesterday. It's so tragic. He will definitely be missed.
ReplyDeleteSo very well said Suzan, it is a heart breaking disease to those who have it and their family members. I am so saddened by this and my heart hurts for Robin & his family. My only hope is that this will prompt us to help those with mental illness.
ReplyDeleteThere has to be more open dialogue about it in order for the shame to go away.
DeleteThis is something that can happen to any of us - or our loved ones - without warning.
Sometimes it's temporary - but for those that live with this their entire lives - I just can't imagine the difficulty of getting through each day.
May he rest in piece.
XOXOXO
What is so sad about it is that depression can be controlled and/or cured for some BUT when you are in the throes of it you are so helpless and hopeless. If you have enough energy during this time you may succeed in committing suicide. So many strides have been made with medications but I agree with Suzan; until it is viewed as a disease like any physical disease it will be hidden and considered shameful. What is shameful is we can't/don't discuss it.
DeleteThank you for posting this. I am exceedingly sad about what happened to Mr. Williams. He was a true entertainer and, from what I have read, a very caring individual. Mental illness is a disease that can last a lifetime~
ReplyDeleteCan you just imagine the anguish of a lifetime of immeasurable sadness? AND during that life time giving immeasurable joy to others?
DeleteGod love him -
XOXO
The last few days, even before the tragic loss of Robin Williams, I have been reading "deeper" blog posts from many people who normally show pretty pictures. I think it's a good thing that people are recognizing that life is not perfect and people are ready to talk about it.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you came out of your depression and are keeping us all in stitches.
Oh Captain, my Captain ~
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI heard it last night ,it saddened me, it scared me and I hoped he heard me tell him, its OK-I totally get it an I truly do. I hope he's found the peace he and many of us so desperatly seek.. I havent made the choice,, obviously , that he did, but I get it and unlike so many others I didnt say WHY~! when I heard.. Be around on day Robin when I get there and maybe we'll have a big long laugh about it all. sure am gonna miss ya,but I get it.
Sonny
Such a sad ending to an amazing talent. Pure genius is only a hair's breath away from madness. So sad that the madness won in the end.
ReplyDeleteOne of the things I love about your blog, Suzan, is how personal and open you are. You are able to reach into our thoughts and feelings. Depression is such a silent problem - those affected by it sometimes don't even know. It's a battle most of our family has faced in varying degrees. I'm glad you were able to recognize it and deal with it. As my husband says - happy Heather is way better than sad Heather and if it takes a pill to fix that, go for it.
I agree completely Heather - meds are the answer - however once you've fallen into the depths of it sometimes it's difficult to even walk out of the house to get to the Doctor's. The anxiety - the panic - the shame - it's all debilitating. I kept mine ( or tried to anyway ) well hidden - but John - poor John had to live through that with me. I refused help - even when I had terrible dark thoughts of slipping away.
Deletexoxoxo
This is so sad. He was such an amazing talent. It is so hard to tell when some are suffering. They don't reach out. I lost my son to suicide and it is devastating....you wonder what you did wrong, how you didn't see the signs. Depression is so overwhelming and often hidden well.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you were able to get the help you needed.
Please don't ever think you did anything wrong or question how you didn't see the signs. I have known people who have committed suicide and others who have attempted it and they are two very different things.The latter are crying for help, they don't really want to die, they want people to recognise their despair. The former are masters of disguise, they want to be able to make that choice without anyone being able to prevent them. I am so very sorry that your son felt that way but, even though I don't know you, I am sure that there was nothing you could have done differently.
DeleteDepression is a devastating disease and not only the sufferer but all who love them are affected by it.
RIP Robin I hope you are at peace now.
Oh Karen - I'm so sorry to hear this - I know I kept it very well hidden myself -
DeletePeople were angry with me because I withdrew - figured I just didn't want to be with them - they had no idea I COULDN'T be with them. That by doing it I was trying to save myself, quite literally................... May your Son RIP - and be free of his pain.
Much love,
SUzan
I just heard it on tonight's news and I can't quite believe it. Just a few days ago I was watching him goofing around on the bloopers of his last show. Funny people are so good at concealing their weaknesses. I
ReplyDeleteAt least, I'm glad you wee able to come back to your true self.
OMG Suzan, you were in my head!!! I was going to do a post about this, I just didn't know how some would react, not guts no glory. I suffer from severe depression. Some because of my MS and because it is runs in my family. People can be very ignorant about this issue. Many think you can just snap out of it, some think you have so much great things in your life and you should suck it up. I have been in a dark hole many times with my depression and you feel desperate and can't find a way to save yourself. It is imperative to have a good support system. Mine is my husband, dad and stepmom. Often times they can seen the signs of you slipping before you notice yourself. Other times you notice it is happening. One day the meds work and poof they don't anymore. Thanks for doing this pot.
ReplyDeleteCindy
Thank you, Suzan, for this post and your transparency. My son also suffers from Major Depressive Disorder and has abused alcohol in order to try to deal with his pain. It is something that is so important for people to try to understand and, I admit, I haven't always been a role model for compassion and empathy. I am learning along the way and others can learn too. I pray that someday soon there will be more effective treatments and less stigmatizing of mental health issues, which are much more pervasive than we'd like to admit. RIP Robin Williams, and bless you Suzan.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your transparency as well Julie - I used to be one of the ones that had very little compassion for this type of thing - I was raised with a " pick your chin up off the floor " attitude - and kind of looked at depression ( I'm so ashamed to say this now ) as a weakness - so when it hit me - and wow did it hit me - I didn't know to do anything but hide it. The thing with hiding it is - obviously - it only gets worse because you're not allowing yourself the help you need.
DeleteMuch love
Suzan
Good to hear you are doing well, Elaine
ReplyDeleteThanks Elaine - I still can't even pinpoint what brought it on - several things I suppose but I do know that my Mother suffered from it in Menopause as well - ( which I was smack dab in the middle of )
Deletexoxoxo
So sad - and so heartbreaking. He made others laugh but somehow the joy was sucked out of him by the horrible beast of depression. It is a wicked thing - I know I've been there! and I struggle with it still - been on meds for 12 years and so very thankful that God led me to the right friend at the right time who helped me get the meds I needed. Rest in Peace indeed Robin Williams!
ReplyDeleteI was so caught by surprise by the news. He seemed so happy to his public. I'm very sorry for what he must have been feeling, and for his family now, for what I know they must be going through.
ReplyDeleteSusan,
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that you had a bout with depression and I know it is horrible....such a lonely feeling but thank the Good Lord you came back....as so many don't. Thanks for sharing your personal experience with us.
God bless you
Diane@babiesbridesandlavender.com
Thank YOU so much Diane - tough post to publish.
DeleteBlessings right back ♥
xoxoxo
Thank you for the honest post. You are so right with what you shared, I know sadness as well.
ReplyDeleteLove, Carla
Wow Suzan. I was surprised to hear that you have dealt with depression and I appreciate your honesty. It's a terrible illness and I have a few friends that suffer from it. I was shocked to hear of Robin Williams's death and not being much of an "ET" fan, had no idea he suffered from it or drug and alcohol abuse because of it. I sure appreciate people like Clara Hughes (Canadian Olympic Speed Skater) for her work to make people aware of depression and the "Let's Talk" campaign she led this year. I think it really made people realize how much suffering people go through with the illness and how they try to hide it or mask it. Hugs, Pam
ReplyDeleteDear Suzan, Bless you for this post. You are encouraging awareness and caring for those who suffer from this terrible disease of depression and their families.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Kate - a broken spirit is worse than a broken arm - and yet we don't like to talk about it ................sad
DeleteMuch love,
xoxo
I really, really don't understand why mental illness of any kind is frowned upon. Depression is debilitating, believe me! I know you understand, my friend. I'm glad you were able to hang on until you felt better...very difficult to do. I appreciate your sharing! There should be more open dialogue so those affected do not feel worse.
ReplyDeleteI understand that Robin was bi-polar and that is a difficult situation to live with. His depression and addictions were such a challenge. Then to be diagnosed with Parkinson's maybe tipped the scales for him. His kindness, brilliance and wit helped millions...it's just so sad the he felt no one could help him.
xo
Pat
It's been over a week and I still can't wrap my head around the fact that he is gone. The man who gave so much joy and laughter to the world couldn't find enough left over for himself. It brings the fragility of this disease to the forefront. I lost a brother to suicide in 1998, I have family members who suffer from mental illness, and I myself wrestled with it a few years ago. It's a scary place...one that I never want to return to. Like you I tried to hide it but thankfully a sister visiting from out of town recognized it and called me out on it. If it wasn't for her, who knows how much deeper I would have crawled down the black abyss. Thanks for having the courage to talk about your struggles with it...I haven't had that courage yet until writing this.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Marie@The Interior Frugalista
I missed this post before. Just had to say I loved your words. I too suffered depression at one time and I think your words will help someone seek help, which will make it all worth it.
ReplyDelete