A Friday chat ( about this & that )

Good morning everyone - from your friendly neighborhood clueless blonde.

I've been having major computer problems - so bad that I was ready to toss it out the window and stop blogging - seriously.
It was soooo frustrating -
Took me far too long to upload photos for a post - sometimes hours - ( renovating this place is quicker I think - than actually writing up a post about it )

So.............I called my son-in-law - the computer nerd/expert.

Tony says - Have you cleaned it lately?
MIL - says - I always clean it !
Tony says - I mean on the inside - removing the panel and cleaning it on the inside.

Well he might as well have asked me to take out my own appendix -
Clean the INSIDE of the computer?
He told me what to do step by step
Step 1 - unplug the computer
Step 2 - take the side casing off
Step 3 - vaccuum

Whoa !  Cleanliness REALLY is next to Godliness !
It's working like a charm -
And I'm feeling cocky now - anyone need an appendix removed?
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So winter is officially here in Montreal - I'm looking out at white stuff while I type
And I was just wondering
Would anyone be willing to marry John so that he could get a green card - then a quickie divorce so he can send for me?
No one in the Northern States need reply to this question -since you got more of the white stuff then we did only Southerners please - and only Southerner's where it's stinking hot -
I may consider certain sections of Europe as well.
Thank you.
And speaking of winter.................................
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Blame Canada, my eye !
I had an AHA moment this week. ( I've been waiting for an AHA moment - since everyone seems to get them - it may have taken me forever but it's a HUGE one )
For years and years and years ( probably my whole life ) I've listened to you Americans blame Canada for winter.........( and then it became a hit freaking song Blame Canada - which I have to admit is hyserical )
" send it back "
" we don't want it "
etc...............
And the thought occurred to me last week - as I sat here looking out at green lawns and sunshine - reading AMERICAN weather reports of horrific snow storms and cold temperatures - 90 staggering inches in Buffalo - N.Y. - U.S.A.
YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN SENDING IT UP HERE TO US ALL ALONG !!!
Like bad weather war dodgers you've been sending the snow up across the border.
This has been the best kept American secret and I HAVE FIGURED IT OUT !!!
How can we send down to you what we don't have ?
YOU send it up here - and then blame us - and we apologize - it's a brilliant strategy - absolutely brilliant.
I'll forgive you - 'cause I love you guys - but really - I'm on to you - the gig is up ( and I intend to " leak " this information out - )
Maybe you're not even aware of this yourselves - maybe your government has been lying to you ?
This has to be the biggest cover up out there.
Just call me Edwina Snowden.
But you'll understand if I stop apologizing for winter this very minute.
In fact YOU owe me one - ( now that you know the truth )
This investigative blogging is dangerous work - but someone has to do it -
Can I continue the blog from Russia do you think?
AND guess what's north of Canada?
ALASKA, U.S.A.
We don't stand a chance.
( Stuck in the middle with you )
And it just goes to prove -
That you can fool some of the Canadians all of the time
And all of the Canadians some of the time
But you can't fool all of the Canadians all of the time.
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Let's see, what else?
Can I refill your cup?  Do you want something to eat?  Sometimes these chats go on a little too long, I know
They're calling for 11 celcius on Monday - that's 50 degrees fahrenheit
We shouldn't have been so quick to close the pool
And I just realized that it's taken me well over 30 years but I finally really do think in Celcius !!!
( I thought it would never happen )
Although I still think in terms of miles ( not kilometers )
And yards ( not meters )
so that may take another 30 years I suppose.
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It's hockey season - I don't watch all of them and even when I watch them I don't watch an entire game - I don't have the nerves for it - seriously - I get too worked up -
BUT what I love to do is this - when John walks out of the room - ( bathroom - snack - coffee - whatever ) I scream out OH MY GOD - WE JUST GOT A GOAL - YOU MISSED IT !!!
He always runs back in - you'd think he'd know by now -
And I giggle like a maniac
It only works once during a game.
Last week I did it - he ran back in -
John says -  WHY DO YOU DO THIS?
John says - SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH YOU !!!!!!!!!
Anyway - he was in the kitchen getting a snack - and they scored TWICE while he was in there - in the first few minutes of the game - first period.
I started screaming - GET IN HERE - 2 GOALS - OMG - THEY JUST SCORED AGAIN

John says - Yeah Yeah - do you think I'm stupid?

He missed the best 2 goals of the game LMHO
And because that happened in the beginning of the game - I was able to scream out one false one later which of course led him bombing it back into the room.
It was a good night.
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I've been sick the last couple of days - first cold of the season - Hurrah !!!
I always celebrate by letting John make me supper.

John says - What would you like?
John says - Anything at all

Seriously - this usually means he's going to order in - he can't cook - at. all.

Suzan says -  How about a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches?
Suzan says - I'd LOVE that -
John says - No problem
Suzan says - Do you want me to explain how to make them?

DON'T JUDGE.
JUST DON'T JUDGE.

John says - Don't be ridiculous - I think I can manage 2 grilled cheese sandwiches.

AND brings me up 2 toasted cheese sandwiches.

Suzan says - Uggghhh
John says - YOU SAID YOU WANTED GRILLED CHEESE !!!
Suzan says - But you made toasted cheese sandwiches
John says - IT'S THE SAME BLOODY THING

2 pieces of toast with a slice of processed cheese thrown between them is NOT the same thing as a grilled cheese sandwich...........

Do they not have grilled cheese sandwiches in England?
Gerry?

He KNOWS there's a difference - because I make them for him all the time !!!!!!!!!!

Maybe he's just getting back at me for the Hockey thing?
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I make huge pots of home made soup almost weekly in the winter - it just might be my favorite meal ( with crusty bread or garlic bread )

I've never used a recipe for soup in my life - I taste it as I go - and after 30 years of experimenting I can now proudly say I'm officially a " soup nazi "
If people lined up outside and said the wrong thing I could ban them from my kitchen
( was that one of the best episodes or what? )

The only problem is - once in a while it's over the top incredibly fantastic.

John says - This one turned out great
Suzan says - Why thank you
John says - I wouldn't mind if you made it again actually
Suzan says - I can't
John says - Why not?
Suzan says - Because I just make it as I go - I don't follow any recipe so it can never be redone
John says - Why don't you write what you put in it as you go?
Suzan says - Because I never thought of doing that !!!!!!!!

Keep an eye out for the best soup recipe book coming to a blog near you at some point in the future.
But don't hold your breath or anything - old habits die hard.
And speaking of soup...........................
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We used to do business with a man from Pakistan - and his favorite expression was
( with a very think Pakistani accent )
" John we're in deep soup - veddy veddy deep soup "
I used to fall on the floor laughing whenever he said it - I'm not sure if it was the accent or the expression or both.
Is that Politically Incorrect?
I'm so tired of having to weigh everything I say - sometimes a Pakistani accent CAN be really funny to this North American's ears - it's just the way it is.
If people can laugh at Canadian accents - well then it's " aboot " time I can laugh at others LOL( although I have never in my life pronounced it " aboot " )
And speaking of accents.............................
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Does anyone remember this movie?
I can't tell you how many times I've seen it - and It can still make me go into hysterics
Peter Sellers at his best.



I hope I haven't offended anyone -
I keep getting marriage proposals from Pakistani Men ( and Woman for that matter )
Hope they have a sense of humor.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone -
I'm going to curl up with hot soup - ( veddy veddy hot soup )  Advil liquid gels - and garlic bread and watch this movie on the internet

Much love,
Me