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Thursday, November 19, 2015

A FRIDAY CHAT ( about this & that )

Good morning - good morning - come in !!!

I've got the fire on..............the kettle's almost boiled - help yourself

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that creep who had raised the price of a pill from 13.50 to 750.00 dollars overnight
and this week I found this song on you tube

I giggled my head off - I just adore Willie ( and Merle too really ) take a listen - it's too cute !



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What is the origin of " mooning " someone?
It's a disgusting thing - really really disgusting.
Upon doing a little research I discovered it's been around since the medieval ages !
Isn't that something?
It's the poor man's version of walking around Stone Henge !

Anyway...............while I was researching " mooning "  ( dear God please let my browser history be cleared on the day I die - I have horrible nightmares of my children seeing all of this on my search engine ) there was an ad for Zulily with a top that I just fell in love with ...........so I clicked on the ad and it did NOT lead me to the top at all - I went through every single piece of clothing for women on their site and that particular top was nowhere to be seen.
False advertising?
I was so mad that had a Zulily rep been standing right in front of me I would have mooned them !
Instead I mooned John.
While he was watching Hockey

John says - What the hell are you doing?
Suzan says - I'm so frustrated I just HAD to moon someone..................
John says - If people knew what you did
Suzan says - Do you think I'm the only one who has ever done this ?  It's been around since the medieval ages !!!
John says - I WOULD LIKE TO THINK WE'VE SOMEWHAT EVOLVED SINCE THEN
John says - Can you get your A$$ out of the way please?  I'm trying to watch hockey.

The Montreal Canadiens lost their game - John crawled into bed quite depressed - but not before he mooned the t.v.

And of course that will bring us to song number 2 for this post - apparently mooning was a pastime Old Napoli too !


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Have any of you seen this ad?



Now I know this is completely irrational but I want to shoot my t.v. whenever it comes on.
I H.A.T.E. it - it almost puts me in a rage.
I have a game I play with myself - as soon as it comes on - I time myself to see if I can change the channel before he opens his mouth.
The game is called " cookie jam "
My game is called " cookie wham bam get outta here Sam "
And rage is contagious - John now hates it as much as I do.
Last night we both reached for the clicker at the same time - and the converter fell from our hands - leaving enough time for the cookie to start talking.....................
Ruined the rest of my night.
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I've started decorating for Christmas...................slow motion type of decorating but decorating none the less.
I bought 4 wreaths for the front windows
Today John was going out and I asked if he could pick up 4 more.

John says - You're kidding me
Suzan says - No - I want to put them on the side windows too
John says - WE DON'T NEED A WREATH ON EVERY WINDOW FOR GOD'S SAKES
Suzan says - Just one side - so when we pull up we see them before we turn the corner
John says - You have to start sleeping at night - really - the ideas you come up just keep getting more and more ridiculous.
Suzan says - Some people even hang them on upstairs windows !

He picked up 4 more wreaths...................

But now I've decided I need yet another 4.

John says - Can you PLEASE blog someone and ask them if 12 wreaths outside is normal?
Suzan says - You don't BLOG people - it's not a verb for crying out loud.
_________________________________________________________________________________

I have a dilemma.
I wear eyeliner on the top of my eyelids.
Have been wearing it for 40 years.
BUT it's hard to apply when you're starting to resemble a Shar Pei dog.
Trying to manipulate the folds is very difficult - especially when you're as blind as a bat.

Suzan says - I need a face lift next year.
John says - Don't be ridiculous - you look fine

How's that for making you feel like a beauty queen?

" DON'T BE RIDICULOUS .............YOU LOOK FINE "

Suzan says - I don't want to look fine - I want to look great
John says - So you look great...............do you think we can continue this after my movie's over?

Now you have to understand that John feels that's a compliment.
If I mentioned next week that he never compliments me - he'd say " I told you last week you look great "

Suzan says - I'm starting to look like a Shar Pei dog
John says- Maybe that's the next dog we should get?
Suzan says - God - you're so insulting
John says - I didn't say you looked like a Shar Pei - YOU did

I'm getting a facelift..................
Mark my words.
_________________________________________________________________________________

We had quite the dividing issue here in Canada recently -
Over Muslims right to wear a burqua while being sworn in as Canadians.
They won.

The world is changing - even our corner of it.

In Massachusetts a woman recently fought for the right to wear a colander on her head for her driver's licence pic.
She won.

She's part of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster ..............    ( read 'em and weep )

PEOPLE.COM
I'm not into " burquas "  I do - however -  love a pretty colander.
But you wouldn't catch me dead wearing such a boring one.

I had a yellow one and added a little bling to it - I chose a smallish one so that it would be more like a
" cloche "  hat - you know - sort of like the type Jackie O would wear if she were a Pastafarian.
It shall be forever known as my Easter Colander.................
Isn't it divine?


I excitedly put it on and promptly went to sit beside John while he was watching his hockey game.

John jumps back - WHAT THE HELL?
Suzan says - What?
John says - You outcrazy yourself constantly - you must stay up all night thinking of these whacko things
Suzan says - crushed - I thought you'd like it !
Suzan says - I'm joining the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
John says - HOW DO YOU MAKE THESE THINGS UP ???
Suzan says - I didn't !  It's a real religion !
Suzan says - You have to stay on top of the news John - these are important issues and you sound like an ignoramus when you don't know anything about current things !!!

I think I'll pick up a pink one too - I could probably wear this to a Royal wedding - wouldn't it make an adorable fascinator?


I have to agree with Willie.................

It's all going to pot ♪♪
Whether we like it or not ♪ 
The best I can tell - the world's going to hell  ♪♪♫♪
and we're sure going to miss it a lot  ♪ ♪

Have a wonderful weekend everyone.
Much love
Hugs - always hugs
Me


P.S.
John says - Please tell you did NOT put that picture on the blog
Suzan says - Yes I did, why?
John says - It's got to be the strain of losing Soda - really - that's the only way I can explain it.
John says - I'm going to start a " Go Fund Me " account for - you need help.........badly













37 comments:

  1. I can Always count on you for some Friday morning humor! I am laughing out loud!!

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  2. Girl, you crack me up and most mornings I need that! Have a beautiful weekend! ( I hear rumblings of the "S" word are supposed to happen here in the GTA. :-( I knew May-vember had to come to an end but I can still mourn it, right?)

    Hugs,
    Laurayne

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  3. One of my most prized possessions is my parents' album of Dean Martin's Greatest Hits ~ I LOVE 'Volare'!!!
    When I move in, can we make me a colander hat too? I'd like mine to be turquoise...

    Hugs ~

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  4. LOL...I declare Friday SUZAN's day because I just know I'm going to smile. ...Say...I saw Willie and Merle at the Wisconsin State Fair in the 90's....man they played for 3 1/2 hours..... for $7.00....the ticket was...IT was great!.

    That's a fun song too...and so apropos...I'm going to go and moon the tv next time I'm irritated...should be in the next hour...or so, LOL...love ya, Sandi

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  5. Dear John (where have I heard that before?)..........13 wreaths is normal for our house. And my chosen colander for being a Pastafarian is a red one with holes in the shape of Mickey Mouse heads and ears. Guess where I live (Suzan can tell you). You guys married us, now suck it up and laugh, fella. You'll enjoy life much better.

    And just to show my support.....I think you're one heck of a nice guy. You and Brad never fail to come home with what we ask.

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  6. Thank you, Suzan, for your wonderful humor. I so much needed to smile this morning. I don't think I'll be able to look at a colander the same way again. Tempted to try one on, and I think the flowers really do add something to it. Thanks again for the smiles and laughs!

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  7. Being crazy helps keep us sane! I showed Dave your pic, he said you look nice and summery?! xo Patty

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    Replies
    1. I suppose I need to find a red one for Christmas wear LOL !
      xox

      Delete
  8. Suzan, let John do the "go fund me" and use the $$$ to do what ever YOU want. :)
    How do you get an ID or driver's license wearing a burqa? How do you ... I don't get it. I mean I get wearing a burqa... no bad hair days, no bad dressing days.... nada.... wear jammies underneath if you like... no makeup? who cares?
    Speaking of makeup, use the opposite hand to pull the outside skin on your eye out just a tiny bit... tah dah... eyeliner on. :)
    xoxoxo Christina

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  9. You had me snorting here, giggling by myself! I think I will moon my husband when he gets home, remember the Honeymooners with Jackie Gleason, well you are too young to know that. Anyway the elegant fashion statement aka colander is quite elegant and you will be famous and I knew you when! I have Twelve wreaths just don't know where they all are, things just disappear. We'll have a good one you ditsy friend!

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    Replies
    1. We watched ALL the Honeymooner reruns in the 60's - I still remember them almost verbatim !
      One of these days Alice................
      I'm thinking of creating a line of colander hats..............if that religion picks up steam they'll be a demand for them LMHO !
      I can't tell you how much of my Christmas decor has disappeared - how does that happen?
      Have a happy weekend Mary Anne
      xoxo

      Delete
  10. This is all so funny. I almost spit out my tea reading this: "Can you PLEASE blog someone..." I just LOVE your "John says - Suzan says" part of the blog. Please keep telling those stories!

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  11. Loved the songs. The future of the world kind of scares me, but I am near the end and it is more I wonder what my great-grandkids will be facing. I really wanted to live to 90, but now not so sure I can take this mess another 14 years. As for the Zulily ad, been there done that. I have ordered a couple sweaters from an ad I saw on line, can't be sure if it was Zulily so am not naming names. But I will never order on line clothes from any ads again. They smell like burlap (not made of burlap) and there is no packing info sent with the product so I cannot even send them back. Oh and most of all their sizing is so far off I cannot even refashion to make it something I can wear. QVC and HSN are were I will buy my clothes on line, I trust their products and service. OK, I like your hat, but I am still going to use my blue one for a wind chime. As for a facelift, they hurt and I have seen enough bad ones that I will stick with what I have. Take care.

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    Replies
    1. Well I'm 56 and I worry about grands too............what a freaking mess it all is.
      I think I need to get a red colander for Christmas - stick some green bows on it.........or something lol
      xoxo

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  12. lost my comment before I was done...don't post it.

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  13. I love your Friday chat, always brightens my day.

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  14. No question, the yellow becomes you. Not for nothing, John needs to get out more. You are obviously up to date with what's happening!! Btw, you could get your eyelids tattooed. Crazy, maybe, but I saw two young women with perfect makeup and they said it was tattooed on. It looked fabulous and I really thought about it. It was done at a medical center, not a tattoo parlor.

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  15. Yeah, you are back and making us all laugh! I've missed you. Hope you are doing ok. As usual, John is hilarious. :)
    Hugs,
    Cecilia

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  16. This is my "cookie ad": Countdown ft. Europe: It's What You Do - GEICO - YouTube
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iH1biQdyiQI

    watch it and tell me which is worse. I canNOT get to the clicker fast enough when this comes on. Over and over. WHYYY???

    really? a colander ? what kind of nutjob ??? Not you.... her. You're sane as can be!

    patty

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  17. Absolutely Hilarious! Thanks for the great entertainment!!!! I mute ALL commercials!!! And YES! The world is going to hell in a hen basket!!! Hang on with both hands and feet!!!!!

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    Replies
    1. I'm hanging on with my fingertips - trust me Cindy LOL !
      xoxo

      Delete
  18. Hey there Suzan, you SHOULD definitely start a Go-Fund me account so you can pay for a facelift! In California it costs AT LEAST $11,000.00 for a face lift! I KNOW cuz I had the very same thoughts about the whole eye-liner thing and the Shar-pei folds! I don't know how much it costs in Canada. Anywhoo, all your thoughts are totally NORMAL, well anyway, I think they are--so tell that John of yours that you're NOT the only one! It is so nice to hear it coming from you cuz I really think the world of you, so it gives my thoughts VALIDATION coming from YOU, cuz before, I thought it was just me--but I am, from my best guess, about 15 years older than you! So yeah, it is a stage. And yeah, the world is Effed-up big time, so might as well do the yellow and pink colanders thingy, cuz why be boring if you're gonna prove a point? At least colanders have holes for ventilation, but a Burka---come on, why be suffocated? You know how I HATE being HOT! BTW, it was 95 degrees today here! That means another year of turning on the AC to bake the turkey in the oven for our USA Thanksgiving! Why did I think it might be any different THIS year? It is the same every year---close to 100 every Thanksgiving day--Christmas too! I feel sorry for the Christmas trees on the tree lots melting and losing all of their needles in the furnace heat! That's just WRONG! Well, I have ONE final thing to say to you, Missy! How's come you look GREAT even when you have a YELLOW COLANDER on your head?? Life just isn't fair--complain all you want, Suzan, but you beat 99% of the population with your good looks--and that's no BS! I am SERIOUS! I don't look 1/8th as good in my Sunday Best! NOPE, Life just is NOT fair! So be happy that you are ahead of the game by being PRETTY, because that beats wrinkles on an UGLY person any day---! HONEST! Just for that I'm going out to moon somebody!
    'Bye for now.....
    Laura, et al

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    Replies
    1. Hey Laura !
      You sent me an email yesterday - and I replied directly to it - hope you got it you silly lady you !!!
      xoxo

      Delete
  19. Nice hat ;) I particularly like the way you teamed it up with sunnies - very Jackie O indeed. I may join the pastafarians myself, I'm not much of a fan of organised religion at the moment (for obvious reasons) but I think they could be on to something. I'm guessing they are unlikely to bomb Baghdad over a bolognaise. I was in the shop until 2am moving furniture and reorganising displays (and you think you're mad?!) so today I am wearing a pair of leggings, a huge fair isle jumper and slipper boots, it's the kind of outfit that would have looked cute before I became a dumpy middle aged woman, now I just look deranged. Colin does not appear to have noticed.... :D

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    Replies
    1. Unlikely to bomb Baghdad over a bolognaise - OMG - I'm laughing out loud here - you're too funny !!!
      I have a post coming up on leggings/tights which I seem to be living in lately !
      xox

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  20. That picture with the colander on your head and the flowers will haunt my dreams!! I'm definitely contributing to the fund!!

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    Replies
    1. LMHO !!!
      I bet there's a market for them ..............if that Church grows I'll end up a millionaire !
      xoxo

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  21. This colander business is the best news I've heard in ages. I already have plans for dressing up a vintage enamel one. It's a dark grey colour and I think white feathers from my chickens would be lovely. Maybe, a burlap bow to add a girly, yet country, touch to the hat. Wait, I also have a red, plastic Betty Crocker one that is oval and would make a great Napoleon style hat. Thanks for the inspiration and saving me from the burqua.

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  22. Love this Friday's chat! I think it's ridiculous that so-called 'religious' exceptions are winning these battles, but I have to say I do like your yellow colander...a lot! I have a vintage yellow one myself, but hadn't thought of wearing it. :-) Tell John that your blog followers are not strange at all and that there is no such thing as too many wreaths. lol Thanks for the giggle!

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    Replies
    1. LOL - I need a red one for Christmas dinner - with bows !!!
      Thanks Nancy !
      xoxo

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  23. I am sitting in my office, all by myself, laughing until tears run down my face! You made my day!

    Christy

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  24. I really like the colander...It is very pretty and makes a nice Easter cloche. :)

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    Replies
    1. I need a red one for Christmas Katie LOL !!!
      xoxo

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  25. Suzan, if you knew what I've been through these past three weeks, you'd know just how *much* I needed a good laugh! Thank you! That was hilarious.

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  26. Oh Jean - I hope your last 3 weeks haven't been as bad as mine - seriously - from the bottom of my heart ...........
    We've gotta laugh - or we'd go insane - right?
    Thanks SO much !
    xoxo

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Due to a large amount of spam ( that I'm tired of going back to posts and deleting ) I'll be using comment moderation from now on !!!
Can I beat these spammers at their own game? Probably not - but I'm going
to try my damnedest !!!
xoxo