Hi ! I've been waiting for you - come in !
Tea and Coffee are waiting for you in the kitchen - I'm sitting in the den this morning - it looks like rain so I'm contemplating getting dressed ........or not.
I'm working on a beast of an armoire and prefer painting in my pjs so it may work out perfectly !
What's that ?
Where's the milk for you tea or the cream for your coffee?
Well............there's a bit of each left in the fridge but I've been having a hard time lately.
The bug has bitten me ..........not enough to kill me completely just enough to make me conscious of what I'm putting in my mouth and what the cost of that really is. ( not in dollars )
I want to go back to my childhood when I could just ram carcasses down my throat and say YUM and not have to think of anything other than that YUM..
I still ram them down my throat just not as frequently............and I very seldom yell out YUM these days ( although admittedly I sometimes whisper it guiltily to myself )
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Which brings me to the milk and cream.
The thought struck my mind the other night that cows are the most docile animals out there.
Is that why we started stealing their milk from them?
What was wrong with drinking our Mother's milk?
Who was the first person that got splatted with cow milk - smacked his lips and thought " Holy COW I'm onto something here - this is going to score huge points with the wife " ?
I mean we couldn't be drinking Bears Milk because the first person that tried it would have been slam dunked into the forest and left there dying.
Same thing for Wolves Milk.
Or Cheetah's milk.
No - we went with even tempered.
Sorry Betsy..............we're a selfish lot.
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I've been counting calories and walking walking walking.
The other day I left enough calories to include a soft cone ice cream ( my weakness )
And I did research on the calorie intake from different ice cream sellers.
The winner by far was Ikea - at 135 of them ( plus it's only a dollar so that appeals to John as well )
Suzan says - I feel like an ice cream
John says - So lets go to DQ
Suzan says - Well the ice cream from Ikea has the least calories and to be honest with you it's my favorite one
John says - IKEA? ARE YOU NUTS ? THERE'S A DQ DOWN THE STREET!
Suzan says - Too many calories !
Suzan says - Plus it's only a dollar at Ikea......
So off we went........happily singing camp songs in the car ( not true that )
But you know how it is - those damn arrows on the floor dragged me through the store first.
John says - I KNEW IT ! YOU DIDN'T WANT ICE CREAM AT ALL !
Suzan says - Shhhhhh - My God - why are you always yelling?
John says - WE CAME FOR A BLOODY ICE CREAM !
We left with some art work - a lantern - candles - a bathroom mat................and an ice cream cone each.
It was delicious.
Suzan says - Now wasn't that worth it. For a dollar each ?
John says - Listen these 2 ice creams cost almost a 100.00 dollars.
John says - We're going to the DQ next time.........
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I picked up Ashley a lantern for her deck..............with some candles.
John says - What are you getting that for - we have tons of lanterns?
Suzan says - This one's for Ashley
John says - Why - did she ask you to pick one up for her?
Suzan says -No - Evan asked me to
John says - You're so ridiculous...........
But I swear to you the last time I had him he said these three words very succinctly
MA.............LA................CA
Which means
MAma wants a LAntern with some CAndles.
I speak Evan.
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I never have cash on me.
NEVER
I use my debit card ( or far too often - my credit card shhh )
So when I got to the cash to pay for the ice cream cones and discovered that I had enough change in my wallet I decided to pay with coins.
That included a few pennies.
I handed the girl my stash and she says
" Oh we don't take pennies "
WHAT THE HELL?
My feathers got a little ruffled and I indignantly explained to her that pennies are M.O.N.E.Y. - when I felt a tap on my shoulder.
A lady behind me explained that pennies were taken out of circulation in Canada.
LAST YEAR.
Jesus how he wept - I have to get in tune with the times.
How embarrassing.
Anyway I'm putting this out here because maybe somewhere in the remote mountains of this country there's a hermit ( and a miser ) who's been saying his pennies for over 70 years and he's now worth a million dollars in them.
He's worn the same coat for 50 of those years because he didn't want to squander those pennies away.
He's been eating
AND NOW HE'S WORTH NOTHING !!!
And he's probably a relative of mine with my luck.
A penny saved is a penny
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John and I have arguments about lights.
( when we're out of other things to argue about of course )
I turn the outside lights on at night.
ALL night.
It's a deterrent right?
John shuts them off - I turn them on - John shuts them off....this goes on all night and the one that stays up the latest wins ( me )
The neighbors must think we're sending out signals to the enemy or something,
John woke up yesterday and the first thing he did was run to the bedroom window and look down.
John booms - WELL I LOVE HOW THE LIGHT SHINES OUTSIDE IN THE MORNING FOR THE COURIERS TO FIND THEIR WAY TO OUR DOOR.
Suzan says - Listen buddy did our house get broken into last night?
John says - Don't be ridiculous.
Suzan says - FINE ! I'll turn the lights out - but if we're robbed and in the process I'm raped and tortured and killed IT'LL BE ON YOUR BACK - YOU'LL HAVE TO LIVE WITH THAT DECISION !
And for the first time in ever I did NOT turn the light on.
You can imagine my surprise when I looked out and saw it shining bright.
A beacon of hope !
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Ok guys I'm outta here.
I have to pick up milk and cheese today.
I feel guilty about it but I HAVE to.
You understand............
Love to all of you -
I think out of all my blogging I've missed our chats the most.
Have a wonderful weekend
Hugs,
Me
You're hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI too paint in my jammies btw - I have a "painting pair." I like to be comfy and lazy and I paint at all hours cuz I seldom sleep.
Can't wait to see your armoire when done. I had to put everything away b/c I have company coming for the weekend in an hour and I am still in my jammies - but the house is very clean and I have enjoyed reading blogs and sipping a cuppa. AND the sun is shining today, praise BE - so you have yourself an argue-free awesome and peaceful weekend. Guilt free, of course. ♥
You had me at $1.00 for IKEA ice cream cones and then I remembered the arrows and how I get hives walking through that maze and sorry Suzan, I'm with John and DQ. We are babysitting Westin today, I think HE would love a trip to DQ. Have a great weekend! I'm going to be spending mine figuring out a DIY project for my rolls of pennies.
ReplyDeleteNow you have me craving a soft ice cream cone!!! And to heck with the calorie counting... if you are going to IC, just DO if and ENJOY!!!
ReplyDeleteHugs ~
Good for Canada! We should do that here in the USA too. A lot of stores already just give you change for $2.50 if it comes to $2.53 anyway. Skipping pennies by rounding up or down saves them time. I don't think going to IKEA for ice cream is a safe endeavor ;-0 There is always so much that just wants to jump in one's cart these days. Hope Evan loves his lantern.
ReplyDeleteThe Friday chats are also what I've missed the most!!! We have the same fight about the outside light at night at our house as well. My husband seems to think thieves LIKE light as it helps them see what they are doing?? lol Whereas I know that they absolutely do NOT like light because then everyone else can see what they are doing. He only wins because I have realized that at our new home the porch light shines bright right into our bedroom. :) Have a great week end. xo
ReplyDeleteWe have so many lights installed in our small back yard, thanks to obsessed hubby, that we can probably be spotted from outer space. The good news is that they are mostly solar or on timers. Between that and his obsession with grass, boy oh boy!!
ReplyDeleteI've missed them too. I'm with John on the lights...they bother me. I'd rather have it dark so I can see what's in the dark without waiting for my eyes to adjust. :-/
ReplyDeleteI'm waiting for the day they do away with our penny. Maybe I'd better cash them in while I can...
I wish I could eat whatever I wanted like I used to, too, and not worry if I was going to gain some pounds. I hate this part of menopause more than anything else. Seriously. Now excuse me, I going to go drown my sorrows in a bowl of ice cream - maybe.
Have a good weekend!
Hugs,
Cecilia
Glad you are feeling better.....and this post was hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI have missed your chats, I can always count on you giving me some serious laughs and some food for thought! Have to run, I have a whole stash of pennies we have been hoarding and I think I better run to the bank soon in case we follow suit in the USA!
ReplyDeleteHave a happy weekend yourself, in o Canada. Bug john some more!! I'm still saving pennies in USA, still spending some too! Not too many days left in this country 😣 be safe and happy mg from ma usa
ReplyDeleteA visit with you always has me laughing Suzan. Wish it was in person, but I made my own tea and sat and listened across the ocean. Totally relate to the IKEA story... I ask you, who can possibly leave without buying something? Hope you are feeling better very soon xx
ReplyDeleteGood morning Suzan and it's good to have you back in full funny mode. I know all about ikea and the ice cream. It has to be bait to lure us in...haha! As for Evan's speaking to you, I don't know if you are aware but that word in Greek is the most oft used cuss word.. (google it) It has actually lost it's meaning now and is used as a sign of endearment. (oh how we have fallen!)
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad I get to start my morning readying your chat! Love it...gosh I've missed you! Sorry you aren't feeling well. Hope you feel better!!
ReplyDeleteLove the chats!
ReplyDeleteLove this Suzan. Hello my friend. Hope you are doing great. I was just in Ikea getting the counter tops for the new place and I had to leave with my dollar cone too. Yum! I did not know the calorie intake so with it only being 135 makes it just that much tastier. Have a great week end.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Kris
I love reading your chats! I missed them too. I'm glad you, and they, are back!!!
ReplyDeleteNice to have you back, Suzan. Wow...You sure do speak Evan! That little guy will be ready for school soon. We have a new baby...Haylie Jane is almost 4 weeks old. We leave tomorrow for Langley to spoil Riley and her new baby sister. Of course, I did major damage this week at IKEA. It's my job.
ReplyDeleteIt is true...those poor unsuspecting cows..and..those poor unsuspecting Ikea cones. Don't you feel sorry for the little creamer. Cheers Suzan
ReplyDeleteSo what about all those Canadian pennies that are in circulation in Minnesota where we can use Canadian coins? Or maybe we can't anymore and I don't know that?
ReplyDeleteOH my dear Suzan---I haven't laughed outloud this hard since before you took your well deserved break. Drop me a note on Etsy where exactly you want the cages sent---was cleaning my mail because I totally forgot with the house all ripped up and I will pop for postage ---your Friday posts-alone are worth it...!And we had a similar conversation over the FREE=Ikea breakfast---think that cost us $200---LOL. So glad you are back. Sandi
ReplyDeleteI can't believe we still have pennies in the US.
ReplyDeleteLove to see you back, Suzan.... I had to laugh out loud...esp. the one about keeping the porch lights ON at night. Heck yeah.....it's a deterrent! Also the one about the old man with the worthless pennies.... Take care!
ReplyDeleteYou must know that we are the only mammals that drink another mammals milk. What wonderful things we have found to make with it, too. Ice cream is at the top of my list! Thank you, docile cows, for that!
ReplyDeleteYou are HILARIOUS....my first visit but l'll definitely be back...so John turned the light on right??
ReplyDeleteI have missed you, Ms Oh Canada. I have often wondered when the good old USA is going to do away with pennies. Of course with the price of copper we could probably melt them down and make a fortune (if we had saved them).
ReplyDeleteHope you are doing well- good luck on the diet. Busy here as always and our little Anna Ireland just won three first places in a toddler pageant. lol xo Diana
Really missed your Friday chats. And now I know two things I didn't know before. No pennies in Canada and Ikea has ice cream!! No one told me!! LOL Thanks for the laughs! Cheers!
ReplyDeleteOh the lights got me laughing! My husband and I used to do the same thing, until I discovered LED lightbulbs. We bought dusk to dawn sensor adaptors and then put in LED bulbs that are the equivalent to 40Watt bulbs and only use 4.5 watts of power. So it only literally costs pennies (which are still used in the U.S.) to have the two porch lights go on at dusk and off at dawn by themselves. I love it for the deterrent aspect and my husband likes it because when he works late, there's actually a light on for him when he comes home. I figure its a win-win.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE soft serve ikey too! I also love shoveling food, carcasses included, into my pie hole, but alas, must restrain myself, since a snail has a higher metabolism than I do. I catch myself thinking: "Wow, that lucky person can eat "normal" foods," when I see someone eating toast or bread on TV, since avoiding carbs has been the only thing that makes me lose weight faster. It's not fair!
ReplyDeleteI love cows and would love to be a vegetarian--I do eat very little red meat, but still eat chicken and fish. I feel sorry the way animals are treated. I am an animal person. I love them all!
I think you are some kind of FOX for dragging John to IKEA just for a soft serve cone!! I mean if he didn't figure out that you'd follow the "Yellow Brick Road"...er, Arrow, all throughout the store, then he hasn't learned yet!) I am sure happy to see you blogging again! I sure missed you, Girlfriend, and I kinda got outta sync without your blog! As usual you are a scream and I love your chats with John--they so remind me of me and Fred!
Love and kisses,
ETHEL