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I thought I'd share a little today - I have an ongoing beef with John - a daily beef - he always leaves his shoes scattered by the back door - not neatly - just kind of thrown there - and every single day I trip over them.
EVERY SINGLE DAY.
You'd think I'd know by now to check for them - especially since I walk with my head down looking for centipedes every moment of my life...........( and every now and then my diligence in that matter pays off - when I spot one - and scream frantically as I kill it )
But for some reason I'm always tripping over John's shoes.
When I first met John he was the epitome of the British business man. He dressed in Canali suits - had his shirts made - and only bought his shoes at Cole Hann.
He never went out without a tie - and didn't own a pair of jeans.
Let me repeat that - HE. DIDN'T. OWN. A. PAIR. OF. JEANS.
John is not from London - he's from Yorkshire - how he couldn't have owned a pair of jeans I have no idea.
I rectified that as soon as I possibly could - explaining that he had been in Canada for over 25 years at that point and it was time to get with the program - and I actually went out and bought him a pair of jeans - black jeans - because in his mind only farmers wore blue jeans. ( when I tell you we're world's apart you have no idea )
BUT - he did get this high heel wearing girl into her first pair of Cole Haan penny loafers - so it all rounds itself out I suppose.
Okay - so now you know who he was...................
Last night I tripped over the above mentioned shoes for the last time -
Suzan says - if you don't start putting your shoes away I'm going to throw them out
John says - DON'T TOUCH MY SHOES
Why oh why didn't I listen..................I'll have nightmares of this for a very long time
Suzan says - OMG - I'm throwing these out immediately
John says - DON'T TOUCH MY SHOES
Suzan says - too late - I already did - and I'm throwing them in the garbage
John says - DON'T TOUCH MY SHOES
Suzan says - OMG - I'm so embarrassed - what's happened to you John?
John says - Let's not get all ridiculous and dramatic about it - they're the shoes I put on when I work outside.
Suzan says - I'm begging you John - PLEASE throw them out.
John says - Leave me alone already - there's nothing wrong with them
Suzan says - but I don't understand - you have at least 10 pairs of good shoes
John says - I don't want to ruin them - use your head Suzan
Suzan says - If you don't throw them out - I'm going to blog about them
John laughs - you wouldn't dare Suzan - I know you by now - and believe me I know you wouldn't blog about my shoes..................even you have your limits
And he was this close to being right this time............
But really John?
Do you really think I have limits?
They look like Batman's JOKER of the shoe world don't they?
That's one evil looking grin going on with that sole.
John laughs - Anyway - I thought you liked vintage?
Not quite what vintage decorating is all about John - but you're getting there...................
Suzan says - DON'T TOUCH MY WOODEN SPOONS!!!
These shoes aren't made for walking - they'll just give you a rash
And one of these days these shoes are gonna walk into the trash..................
are you ready shoes?
start walking...................
( P.S. I had to run up and down the hallway with a shoe hidden in my nightgown at 7 in the morning to take these photos - he'd kill me - or throw a shoe at my head - if he knew I was posting this!!! )
The winner for Hazelnut Deux's Paris themed coasters is..............................
48
That would be Butterfly )8( Bungalow !!!
Send me your details Susan - Congratulations!!!
There's still time for a chance to win Julies sign HERE - winner is selected tomorrow
And Sherry's Parisien Christmas ornaments HERE winner will be selected Sunday
Have a great Thursday all
Much love,
Sharing with
Mellywood's Mansion
I would have hidden them long ago, you are very patient!
ReplyDeleteHIlarious. I would have thrown them out for sure!
ReplyDeleteHahahaha...this was hilarious! You've certainly outdone yourself...again... :) Thanks for the morning laugh. Have a great day!
ReplyDeleteThey look comfy! Take them to the shoe repair place and have the soles reattached to the top and you'll both be happy, happy, happy ;)
ReplyDeleteoh oh, looks like Johns surely going to lose this one!Congratulations to the winner!
ReplyDeleteHa! That seems to be a male problem, women are so happy to buy 2-3 pairs to replace that one pair that is no longer wear-able while men hold on and hold on.... crazy.
ReplyDeleteMen like their "comfy" shoes... Just look the other way!! :-)
ReplyDeleteI think I have a few pairs like this. I finally threw my roofing shoes out. They were the only shoes I could wear when we shingled our roof as it is an 8-12 pitch (steep) They were orange and flashy but so comfy and I called them Crash Bandacoot! I know, I named my shoes... They were covered in tar by the time we were done. hmmmm I wish I could go back to the garbage and get them!! :( Now I am just sad.
ReplyDeleteLaughing so hard!! I think you're the best thing that ever happened to John!
ReplyDeleteMary Alice
Suzan, I am sorry but I see nothing wrong with John's work shoes. They do have the two essentials for a good pair of outdoor shoes: a sole that is least somewhat attached and a leather upper somewhat sewn together. As for putting your wooden spoons in the shoes and then in the dishwasher? What were you thinking!?!
ReplyDeleteWhen you decide to actually decorate with them, plant them full of succulents and place them on the front porch. Adorable! *ahem* In all honesty though, I have a pair in similar condition right in front of my front door... my Dog Walkin' Shoes. And I'd probably get all bent out of shape if someone planted succulents in my Dog Walkin' Shoes.
ReplyDeleteLOL those shoes need to be put out of their misery....it's the humane thing to do!
ReplyDeleteCongrats to the winners! I know a couple of them. ;P
xo,
RJ
He didn't own a pair of jeans and you married him anyway??? ;-)
ReplyDeleteHa Ha!!! Thanks for the laugh today!!! I needed it.
ReplyDeleteKris
He threw a vintage reference in to help save his shoes, hahahahahahahhahaa
ReplyDeleteHi Suzan! Oh my gosh, he sounds just like my husband. You should see the shoes he cuts the grass in. I think they were new when he was 12 years old. (At least he doesn't leave them where I could trip on them...)
ReplyDeleteLoved the shoes walking themselves to the garbage can. Oh, how I wish the junk around here could do that!!
Always love it here :)
Ceil
They're my cooking companions - isn't that lovely???
DeleteLOL
XOXO
My husband has the exact same shoes in pretty much the same condition. Thing is, if I take a look at my wardrobe, I now have more paint clothes than normal clothes...and I am not a tidy painter. Nuf said.
ReplyDeleteThe photo of the shoes walking towards the trash and the visual of you hiding them for the photo shoot - hilarious! I have the same problem with Mr. Frugalista and his "those are my hanging around the house shirts". I swear some of them he was wearing when we started dating in 1983! Thanks for the chuckle Suzan, as always!
ReplyDeleteMarie@InteriorFrugalista
LOL - they're too funny -
Delete( I won't tell you what I wear when I'm painting though - but it's not pretty - just saying - )
I'm in big trouble if John decides to create a blog LMHO
XOXO
I was laughing really hard at this one. Those shoes are very, very sad. They MUST go in the garbage. There is no way he should be wearing these for anything. I have to be honest, I am the luckiest woman in the world. John doesn't leave anything around our home (when we have one). He is so neat, my friends are so jealous. They think I exaggerate but it is the truth. We got big news yesterday!!!!
ReplyDeleteCynthia
So funny. Use that really bad shoe to plant flowers in and make it a planter.
ReplyDeletelol!
ReplyDeleteLOL...so funny. My husband is the same way about slippers! There will be nothing left inside of them...no softness, nothing. :-)
ReplyDeleteI was crying reading this, it's so funny! Especially since I can relate, as a have a hubby with similar shoes, shirts, etc. I had to read it to him and show him the photos. "Beware," is what I told him. "This can happen to you."
ReplyDeleteHa! Ha! Way to go! I throw Sam's shoes (and baseball hats) in the trash on the morning of pick-up and then confess. It's better to ask forgiveness than permission!
ReplyDeleteHaha, Bruce has a pair of boots that belong in the trash but they're for outdoors too. He's bad about leaving shoes by the door where I can trip over them- I'm feeling your pain. Why do they have to hang onto worn out stuff?
ReplyDelete:D
Cecilia
We have the shoe debate at least 3 times a week here. MyHerosees fit to leave his shoes ANYWHERE-just inside the door off the garage.....just OUTSIDE the door off the garage.....in the bathroom (sometimes 2 pairs a day)....on the steps....did I mention inside the garage door? My favorite? He goes to bed way ahead of me. When I go in I do not dare turn the lights on for fear of waking him up....in need darkness I enter the door and stumble to the bathroom. Somewhere between the door and the bathroom door lies THE SHOES...right in the path where I will trip over them...sometimes I just want to hit him up side the head with them...instead- I open his closer door and stuff them in with his folded sweaters---just because I can! xo Diana
ReplyDeleteI just laughed out loud at your Joker reference and photo. And then I laughed again at the thought of you sneaking the shoe in your nightie. So funny! You should give John your blog for one post and we can see what he says about you! (How about making or buying a wooden box he can throw his shoes in, put a nice fleur-de-lis on it and distress it.)
ReplyDeleteHilarious! I swear you should write a book! You totally crack me up...:)I too totally laughed out loud at the Joker reference! Good luck getting rid of the shoes!
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Vicky
Life On Willie Mae Lane
Put those things in lock up, Suzan! I hate tripping over shoes. It's dangerous for people like us!
ReplyDeleteSo funny! I have a mat near the front door for shoes. But the shoes are never ON it they are AROUND it. So I took a picture of the empty mat with about 6 pairs of my husbands and sons shoes around it and posted it on Facebook. The title was "What's Wrong with This Picture"? A guy actually guessed it right. I thought the humiliation would end this phenomena, but no...there is always at least one pair of shoes OUTSIDE the mat. It must be a guy thing...
ReplyDeleteI don't know how he keeps from tripping over the toe of the one that's coming apart. They look like a safety hazard. I'm always tripping over my own toes because i don't pick my feet up as high as i should when i walk. I'm SO graceful. lol. You could tell him you threw them away to protect him ;-) BTW, I scream like a lunatic when I have to kill a spider. The screaming drowns out the crunchy noise they make when I smash them with a shoe.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness I hate that, Julian half hides his shoes either under the couch or under the bed, I don't see them until I stub my damn toe almost every single day and scream curses at him for it. Throw them out!!
ReplyDeleteI am dying laughing...are you sure he doesn't secretly read your blog?
ReplyDeletethat is really creative. =))
ReplyDeleteHi Suzan, At today's Ladies Only Blog Share (at A Dish Of Daily LIfe), we were asked to link up another blogger's post as well as our own. Since this post of yours brought me to tears (in a laughing way), I linked up yours. Hope you don't mind!
ReplyDeleteYuck! Too funny that you were hiding them in your pjs in order to get the blog pics!
ReplyDeleteOh Suzan...the picture of the shoes walking to the trash can and the one of the shoe on the counter being a spoon holder was hilarious!! I was laughing like crazy.
ReplyDeletehugs,
Cindy
You guys are so funny. I am hoping those shoes made it to the trash. From England, you would think he knew about "wellies"(sp).You and John are the Lucy and Desi of Canada. Love ya girl, Ginger
ReplyDeleteOh Suzan, you are so funny. I had this mental picture in my head as I was reading your blog. How funny!!!
ReplyDeleteYou and John are so funny - love it. The shoes are almost as funny as the squirrels.
Have a great weekend.
PS I have a pair of shoes almost like them that I use in the garden - my crocks.
Mary
Oh my freaking.goodness. You have topped yourself. I mean, really. There is so much *funny* going on here, I don't even know where to start. When I saw the shoe as part of a vignette (now THERE'S something I thought I'd never type!), my eyes widened about 10 inches. LOL! Gonna have to let my husband read this one. He'll love it, too. (And perhaps it will teach him to put up his shoes as well.) ;)
ReplyDeleteXOXO,
Meredith
OMG are you sure you arnt married to my husband,He sounds and acts the same-love dee x
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely a man thing! My husband will not throw away any of his shoes, jeans or t-shirts! I sneak them out. It took me 25 years to learn NOT to ask if he could get rid of something... don't ask-just get rid of it. And then pretend he lost it ;)
ReplyDeleteCute! I can see why he wants them for working around the yard. My spouse has a pair that looks as bad, but maybe worse, because he walks on the backs. Maybe it's a guy thing. But in my spouse's defense, he does not leave his shoes in front of the doorway; my tween does, and she has tons of shoes. I put a baskets under the chair, so shoes can be stashed out of the way.
ReplyDeleteI
Oh and thank you! I forgot to add that to my previous comment. I'm not quite awake yet. It's only eight and I have not had a tea or a coffee. I also saw the comment on my blog. SO cool! SO pretty!
ReplyDeleteXOXO
You are just freaking hilarious!!!
ReplyDelete-andi
John sounds exactly like my father in this post! Their shoes are EXACTLY the same!!! I'll take pictures of them next time I visit my parents', because it makes an awesome funny post!
ReplyDelete