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Thursday, September 25, 2014

My Soda - and a give away

My Soda..................

Came to us as a rescued dog - she had been left in a box outside the SPCA over a long weekend ( while they were closed ) and was covered in her own filth - and apparently pretty bruised.

My Daughter stepped into the building looking for a Golden Lab - she did NOT want a small dog - but Soda took one look at her and her tell started wagging - ( she had been pretty lethargic apparently up until that point ) and Ashley had no choice - her heart melted and she came home with our new little baby.

For a couple of years I would babysit Soda during the day - Ashley would drop her off in the morning and pick her up at night - just like a grandchild - until the day my daughter moved and could not take Soda into the building with her - we inherited her ( gleefully ) as our own - and since she was staying in the family - every one was ok ( well my daughter's heart was broken but where better for her baby to go then to her second home? )

Soda is now 15 ( at the least and she may be a bit older because no definite age can be given with a rescued dog ) but still looks like a puppy - still hops around ( maybe not quite as often - but she really does hop around still )


For the last couple of years I've been bracing myself for the inevitable.
And I've convinced myself that I'll be ok - she's had a wonderful life with us - and has been loved as only those with fur babies can understand.
She's my 4th child - my youngest - my baby.
She sleeps on our bed - she sits in the office beside us while we work.
I cook her dinners for her every night ( I began doing that when that Dog Food fiasco happened around 10 years or so ago ) she is, at the end of the day, our everything.

She had, what we thought, was a small cyst on her belly - and yesterday she was groomed
and that small cyst has grown - ( which we can now actually see ) and I'm terrified.

I spent the night sobbing - not being able to talk because my throat was aching and the words just came out in short choking sounds..................so there goes 2 years of preparation right down the drain.

John's at the vet with her now - as  you read this - because I couldn't bear to go - I just couldn't.

I had a talk with her before she went which consisted of me begging her not to leave me yet - she just curled in tight and looked at me with her head cocked.

Oh Soda - please please please stay with me for just a little longer - I promise I'll make you all your favorite foods forever and ever................amen.
I don't think I'm capable of saying good - bye yet.

And I'm so sorry for doing this to you all - but I'm as raw as I can get.

Last month - one of my followers offered to do a portrait of Soda - and even that scared me - I thought it was a " sign " and so I kept delaying it - without saying why - but I finally sent her a photograph - and received this beautiful gift last week....................an oil painting of My Soda.
I could melt.


It's just beautiful
If you don't know the multi talented and beautiful Cecilia from The B Farm - this is the very best introduction I can give -
Cecilia will be opening a shop and creating these custom paintings - and has graciously offered one as a giveaway to a lucky reader !

All I ask is that you drop by and follow her to qualify ( my request not hers )  - and of course leave me a comment.
Open to U.S. and Canada

The winner will simply send her  (via email) - a favorite photograph of their pet - and she will paint a custom portrait.  Also if you have a photo of a beloved pet that has since passed over the rainbow bridge this would make a wonderful keepsake to have forever.

Cecilia - I can't thank you enough for this amazing gift - we will cherish it forever.

The best of luck everyone -
Have a wonderful weekend -

And if I may -
I'm not one to ask for prayers -
But I'm begging for them now............................not for me - but for

My Soda.

Much love,


60 comments:

  1. That is a beautiful painting. I hope all is well with Soda! Big hugs to you, Suzan!

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  2. Oh Suzan my heart is breaking for you. I am praying for Soda and that you got good news from the Vet. They are our family and this is scary and heartbreaking so I am really praying for good news. Please keep me posted. I am so sorry you are going through this scary time. Hugs
    Kris

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  3. Oh Suzan I hope Soda is okay thoughts & love to you xx

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  4. Thinking about you and your pup. Much love!

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  5. I'm so sorry. I know exactly what you are going though! I love the painting. What a sweet gift.

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  6. Suzan, I'm so sorry to hear about Soda and hope you may have received good news from the vet today already. She's such a cute pup and I know your feelings of sentiment for her. We've only ever had one dog, which was the kids dog when they were 19 and 21. Marshall was a SPCA dog and was 6 months old when he came to live here. He's now 13 and lives at our son's but I 'raised' him for 10 of those years!! I still love that old dog and my eyes well up with tears when I think of him passing away as he's getting very lame with arthritis, and is blind and deaf. I hope you will have more time with Soda to be prepared for the inevitable. Sending hugs to you today. xo Pam

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  7. Oh Suzan I know exactly how you feel! We have a 14 year old Jack Russell, Luce Mae, and she is our baby too! She has something on her belly too and I need to get it checked, it feels like a water pocket. Now that I'm reading that your Soda has the same thing I am concerned, I googled it and it said that older dogs get these things, not to worry. But how can you not? I am praying that Soda gives you a couple more years of happiness. Thinking of you today.......hugs:)

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    1. That's what we assumed it was Rhonda - and very often that's all it is - in this case it's a tumor - she gets operated next week to have it removed with no guarantees but I'm hoping for the best.
      Thanks so much for leaving such a kind comment - it's appreciated more than you can know
      Hugs

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  8. Prayers sent heavenwards Suzan! There are no words for how these gentle souls enter our hearts and make a home there- but thank God we have them!

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    1. Thanks SO much Kim - yes thank God we have them !
      I have a smile on my face - because although Soda has a gentle soul with John and I she doesn't with anyone else..............
      Much love to you
      ( pretty incredible weather we're having isn't it? )
      xoxoxo

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  9. Suzan - I pray your sweet furbaby will be okay. I know how much a pet can be part of your family and it's no fun when they're sick or hurting. (((hugs)))

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  10. Soda is the cutest of all the cutie pies! I'm praying for Soda but you have to face whatever happens. She reminds me of my Lhasa Apsos I had that lived for seventeen years with us. Longer than we could have imagined . . . they were so adorable and gave us wonderful years of memories. Now we can't bear to go through losing anymore. Cecilia did an awesome job with Soda's portrait! I'm a long time follower of hers (does that qualify?) and love reading her posts!

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  11. Oh, Suzan, this post brought tears to my eyes. What a sweet furry baby Soda is. I hope everything turns out well. I'll be thinking of you, and sending positive thoughts your way. Hang in there. xoxoxo

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  12. Oh Suzan, you could of told me...I would have understood! Benign cysts can grow - I'm praying that is all it is and easily taken care of. And you're never prepared. Never. It's very much ok to cry and mourn. They are part of our family.

    Thank you too, for the very sweet introduction. I am very excited to do a pet portrait for one of your readers!
    Hugs and prayers, my friend!
    Cecilia

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  13. Oh, honey. I know what you're going through, truly and intensely.
    The painting is gorgeous and such a personal piece of art. We all love Soda.

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  14. Oh, Suzan! My heart goes out to you ~ I'll be sending good thoughts all day.

    {{{{{{{{Soda}}}}}}}}

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  15. Oh Suzan, my prayers are with you all .... when my cat died after 24 years, it was one of my worst days ever ..... please keep us informed - we care !!!!

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    1. 24 years !
      How amazing !
      Thanks so much for your kind words Joyce - they mean more to me than you can know
      Much love
      From me to you

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  16. Oh no! I know exactly how hard it is. Sounds like she has had the happiest life a dog could ever have. And 15 years is a total blessing. Praying for strength for you.

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  17. Oh, sweet Soda! Hugs and prayers! I know just how you feel...Eddie is roughly 12-13 and I know he won't be with us forever either. But it just breaks the heart thinking about it! I pray all is well. :)

    xoxo
    -andi

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  18. I will pray for your little Soda. I wish that there was something that I could do to ease the pain and apprehension. I have been through it many times. Our pets gives us so much, and only need our love in return~

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    1. Your words and everyone else's did much to ease my pain Susan -
      Thanks so much for your kindness
      Much love,
      Me

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  19. Oh Suze! Hoping and praying that your baby girl will be just fine. Hang in there, sweetie.
    xoxo

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  20. Hi Suzanne, I know exactly how you feel. We lost our beloved Scottish Terrier, MacDuff, last November, and it leaves such a void in your life and heart. Like your Soda, he had a very good life with us, and that always gives me comfort. We also have a new scottie, who is absolutely running us ragged. :) My thoughts and prayers are with Soda and with you and your husband. I do hope that she can stay with you for awhile yet.

    Hugs,

    Denise at Forest Manor

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  21. Hugs Suzan! Hoping and praying all will be okay.

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  22. I get your blog posts via email...and they are a day late. My heart goes out to you...hope all is well with Soda. ;)

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    1. Thanks so much Donnamae - for caring - she's going to be operated on next week to remove the tumor................it's not as terrible as I thought ( which was that we were going to have to put her down )
      Much love,
      Me
      xxx

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  23. Oh Suzan, I am going to pray like there is no tomorrow for Soda. Having my two babies I can't imagine what you must be feeling. I love ours so much I can't even think about that happening. My prayers are with my friend.

    Cindy

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  24. Oh, Suzan, I'm so sorry to read that post. I know what you're going through and totally understand what Soda means to you. I'm thinking of you and crying with you: I'm well aware it's useless to tell you not to cry. Still, reading how Soda was so lucky to find you after such a rough start in life makes me smile through my tears.

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  25. Soda is such a sweetie pie. I'm so hoping that the vet gave you good news, and it's not anything too serious. Our fur babies give us everything. I'm praying Soda will be OK. That painting is so special. I've been a fan of Cecilia's for a long time. She's so talented.

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  26. Oh Suzan, I know just what you are going through. I went through the same with our sweet Bridger a couple years ago. I swear he wasn't a dog, but another person living with us. Anyway, I will pray for Soda and for you and John. Aging beloved pets are so hard on us. I'm sitting here with 14+ year old Misty by my feet. She's blind and deaf, but still loves me.

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  27. My heart just breaks for you. I lost my little Buttons, he was sixteen in a half years old and I had him from the time he was a little pup, I don't think I will ever get over the loss of this special boy. As I read your blog the tears started flowing. I will pray for your little Soda, I know there is nothing I can say to ease your pain , but my prayers and thoughts are also with you and your husband.

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    1. My pain was eased greatly today from all of this love.................
      Soda will have an operation next week - with no guarantees - but I'm going to hope for the best.
      I'm so sad to read about your Buttons.
      Hugs
      Suzan

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  28. I know we are all sitting here reading the blog and all the heartfelt comments, hoping we have a box of tissues close by to capture all the tears that are flowing. I am most certain we are all giving you Suzan, a big collective hug, with lots of prayers and loving thoughts sent your way. I went onto Cecilia's Blog to find out about her portraits.........our Rusty was recently diagnosed with cancer.................................

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    1. And I feel that collective hug - more than you can know -
      I'm so sorry to hear about Rusty - it's so difficult this - I can't even put it into words.
      Soda will be operated on next week to have the tumor removed - it may come back but at this time we're just going to hope for the best.
      Much love,
      Me

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  29. OH Suzan, I am so sorry about Soda, but I am sure she will be okay. I have two rescued dogs also and they are the best. Will say some prayers for Soda.
    Love
    Mary

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  30. It is amazing how these small little balls of fluff become such an integral part of our lives - they become family and are so dearly loved. I hope and pray that all will be well with your sweet, little Soda and that you will have lots more time to enjoy her company.

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  31. Suzan, Just look at that Soda face! Well, I'm sitting here typing through my tears. I hope Soda will have a long happy time yet with your family. My little pug, Phoebe is losing the use of her back legs. The vet says it will progress until she is totally paralyzed. I was told to begin thinking about her quality of life. I know what that means, but I can't think of it yet or even form a full thought in my mind. I love her so very much. She is my little heart. One of your commenters said "There are no words for how these gentle souls enter our hearts and make a home there- but thank God we have them!" I second that well said thought. Sending many positive thoughts for a good surgery outcome next week.
    Hugs,
    Sandy

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  32. Oh, Suzan....how well I know the fear that squeezes the life out of your soul. How well I know the love that we pour over our furbabies and that encompasses our entire life. We love it. We love them. With all our heart and soul. I am so very glad that Soda will be ok and that she will be with you a while longer. I will be keeping your sweet little girl in my prayers next week, my friend. Sending comforting hugs...

    xoxo laurie

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  33. Soda...and you will be in my prayers. I know how attached one can get to their fur babies. That's how I feel about my Sadie. I love the portrait Cecilia painted for you. She is such a sweet person....and I just love her work! I have loved her colorful portraits since she shared the first one and would love to have Sadie's portrait done! Maybe I'll win...:) Have a blessed weekend with your little fur ball!

    Blessings, Vicky

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  34. Suzan...I'm keeping you and Soda in my prayers. Hoping surgery goes well next week.
    Sending lots of hugs your way.
    ~Cindy

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  35. Suzan, my heart breaks along with you. We have a 12 year old Labrador who's nearing the end of his life, we also brought him home from the shelter. His back legs are failing but he still looks at us with puppy eyes. At some point we'll have to make a decision but I keep pushing the thought out of my head. So hard to be the owner of an aging pet. On an up note, he is covered in bumps which are really just fatty tumors that old dogs get. Our vet has tested a couple and it's nothing to worry about. I hope that is all it is for Soda, just a harmless tumor.

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    1. We thought that's just what it was - but it grew ( it's now almost the size of a golf ball and I could be sick thinking about this )
      The vets say there's a good chance that she'll come out of this fine - but no guarantees that it won't come back ) I'm just going to take every day as it comes and appreciate her all the more - this precious gift of mine
      Much love to you....................xxoxo

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  36. I am praying for you and your baby. I had a scare with my dog in July and thought I was going to lose him then so I totally know how you feel. I am still paying the vet bills and trying to catch up on rent, but he is so worth it. His name is George and he is a Lhaso Apso/terrier mix. He means the world to me and makes every day better. I hope to hear good news after Sodas surgery. Keep us posted.

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    1. Thanks SO much Karen - I know the vet bills can be crippling - we've found one that is more reasonable than the one we went to for many many years -
      My daughter was given a quote to have one of her cat's teeth cleaned - and a couple of shots for 1000.00 dollars - when she went tothis new one she found it cost 200.00 - that's a major rip off difference - when she questionned the difference the new ( to us ) vet said - " that's ridiculous - just ridiculous "
      You know they catch people at their most vulnerable moments - and we're like " anything - I'll do anything " and so we pay what they ask - it's just criminal really!
      XOXOXO

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  37. I'm so sorry to hear about Soda and I'm praying all goes well with the op. When I lost Spoon (Bob's sister cat) it was totally unexpected, I found her curled up on the stairs and struggling to breathe and rushed her to an emergency vet. It was about 1am when we got there and she died on the way to get a scan, when the vet came out to tell me I was hysterical, thank God there was no one else there! I had to avoid certain people for a while because I knew they would be thinking and maybe even saying 'she was only a pet' and I would probably have punched them. Often we spend more time with our pets than we do with our families, they are important parts of our lives so don't ever feel you need to apologise for grieving if you lose them or even fear you are about to lose them. I will be praying for Soda and you and hoping you get some more time together.

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    1. Well Gerry - I was a basket case !!! I didn't think I'd react that way at all - I'm not a huge crier at all - but I just couldn't stop.
      She's been such a gift - and that's how I have to look at it - for however long we have her - each day is a gift.
      Thanks so much for your kind words - and I was sad to hear about Spoon -
      Much love,
      Me

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  38. There are few things harder than saying goodbye to a beloved pet. Nearly ten years ago we had to say goodbye to our sweet Bichon on Christmas. She was only 13 which was way too soon for that breed, but we found our her cancer was most likely caused from feeding her Iams. And here we thought we were giving her 'the best'. You're smart to feed Soda homemade food!

    A couple of years later my daughter got a puppy and our stories are not that different from here on in. I actually wrote a post about it which is in my sidebar 'our puppy story' (if the spirit moves you).

    I see that Soda's tumor is operable which is great news! I hope she has a full recovery and gets to be with you for several more years, but whatever happens, know that you gave her a wonderful,love filled life!

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  39. I am so sorry for you and I am definitely praying for Soda right now. It is truly awful to lose part of your family. We had a beautiful Chow who I still hear occasionally at night, walking across the floor :( We miss him!

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  40. Oh I have gone through this three times now in my life with our dogs and it never gets easier, matter of fact it seemed to get harder. We embrace them and they embrace us back. What can be easier? Well, hopefully you will have Soda around for a bit longer. I hope.

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  41. Oh Suzan, so sorry to hear about baby Soda!!! She is now high on my prayer list!! My pups have been my family, my first born was a Schnauzer!!! Greta Girl was so special!! The painting is spectacular!!! I want one!!! We have been on a road trip so I am just now getting caught up on what's been happening this week. Hugs to you and Soda and I will continue to pray for a quick recovery.XOXOXOX Karen

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    1. Welcome back Karen - hope you had a great time - what a depressing post for you to come back to!
      It's not as terrible as I thought it was - and it's not as good as I hoped it was -
      Day by day...................and appreciative for every day I have with her.
      Much love
      xoxxx

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  42. Sending you my good thoughts, prayers and hugs, Elaine

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    1. And I'm more grateful for them than you can know -
      Thanks so much Elaine
      xoxoxo

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  43. Oh Suzan,
    How I so know your heartache. I have lost a few pets myself, and it seams when my Mom and step dad leave on a holiday vacation one of their animals seam to give birth or pass away, leaving me with the stressful task of handling it for them. So I get the double wammy in caring for animals.
    Your little soda is a sweet as they come, I so see it in her sweet quiet face.
    She has had a beautiful cared for life and knows that to be true. Your gifted painting is perfect in so many ways, one being that it's fun, not sad at all, it's impressionistic Frenchness shadows over the pain you are going through with the feelings of lost approaching. Suzan, I know nothing is comforting to you at this time, but know that soda knows she can pass because your love comforts her.
    The painting will remind you of her sweet spirit, yet not so much as if it were a photo life like portrait that looks exactly like her, this piece is a happy beautiful spirited painting that will compliment sodas life in your home.

    Prayers my dear, and I so wish I could say something to lighten your heartache.
    Thank you for this sentimental heart wrenching post, tears are felt.

    I have a great pet shoulder to cry on, visit anytime.

    Xoxo
    Dore

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  44. Knowing all the songs you hear, I of course started singing "please, please, please, stay ah little bit longer...say you will..." Dang you have me doing the songs in the head thing when I read your posts! And crying. for my rescue Ginger. Gone 23 years, but never forgotten. The only dog I knew who could laugh.

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  45. Oh girl....I feel your pain....Thursday this week I took my black LAb Beau to the vet and we had to have him put down. we have had him 11 years he was a rescue however I think he rescued us. He has been my constant companion for 11 years.the best dog I have ever owned...a lover ......while hubby was working and kids were in school me an old beau kick around together...He was the last one I said good night to and the first to greet me in the Morning. He was ill and had been ill with a tumor in his left sinus...and it finally spread to his eye was on its way to the his brain it was time...and this time when he drifted off to sleep he caught that rascally squirrell.There is no more pain for him...he is on the other side waiting for me to get home... I am with you my friend ,,,

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  46. Oh, I'm so sorry! I'm happy that I could get on the internet today and felt compelled to check on you. My prayers will be with you, Soda and the vet for their skills. It doesn't matter how long we have these precious babies, it's never long enough. My boy is a rescue and age is not known, however, he's really aging this year and I'm terrified! I keep asking God to please NOT take him...I need him and there are too many losses in my life right now.

    Much love my friend,
    Pat

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  47. Suzan, Soda and you and your family are in my prayers... BIG, FAT, JUICY PRAYERS. Been in your position more times than I care to yet have had visits from my beloveds in my dreams where they are happy, healthy, warm, fuzzy and I am thrilled through tears. May you know the love of and for Soda in person for more years than any doctor could reasonably rationalize. After all, their business is called a "practice" for a reason. They do their best and we do ours.
    In the meantime, know you have more love and prayers than you could possibly imagine, Archangel Raphael's green light surrounding and infusing Soda with all health. All Angels to keep you all calm and know how you ALL are loved... now and forever.
    Aren't we SO incredibly Blessed to have such compassionate fur (and non-fur) family?
    Sending tons of white, healthy light to surround and infuse all of you.
    ~ Christina in Cleveland

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  48. I just picked up 100 emails at Tim Horton's and saw your post - no wifi at home for another week or so. OMG! How is so very sweet Soda doing? Fill us in please. I will check emails better now I have found a source. xo Patty

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Due to a large amount of spam ( that I'm tired of going back to posts and deleting ) I'll be using comment moderation from now on !!!
Can I beat these spammers at their own game? Probably not - but I'm going
to try my damnedest !!!
xoxo