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Friday, January 23, 2015

A Friday Chat ( about this and that )


How is it that men can lead such uncomplicated lives?

It's so simplistic it's ridiculous

Here's food - EAT
Here's T.V. - WATCH
Here's toilet - GO
Here's car - DRIVE
Here's store - ( forget about that one )
Here's bed - SLEEP

There's not a whole lot of decision making in these processes - they just DO what they have to do.

I'm most jealous of it all at night - when John's head hits the pillow - and within seconds he's snoring - I lay there almost weeping with the unfairness of it all

I tell myself to SLEEP - but my brain totally ignores me as it frantically wraps itself around every single minute detail of my day - week - month - year - decade..............

My Father almost drowned when he was a young boy - went down three times in a lake ( before he was pulled out by a fisherman )
He claimed his life flashed before his eyes - I was telling John that story this week ( after he mentioned he didn't believe people actually experienced that sort of thing )

John says - I'm not sure I believe that
Suzan says - Ummmmmm, believe it mister - my life flashes before my eyes EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT.
( maybe that's why I'm terrified to go to sleep )
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I have an Aunt that used to laugh when she was in a terrible or sad situation - it was the strangest thing.
People would be grieving - and you could see the laughter fighting to get out - it used to mortify her ( she was such a class act - this Aunt of mine - the perfect lady - except for this affliction )

And I've inherited it -
It's nerves - I realize that - but it can be so inappropriate that I sometimes have to leave a room.

Once at a funeral ( my Grandmother's in fact - who was Irish ) everyone started to " Keen "
If you don't know what that is - it's a low - but ever rising - moan - verbal grief actually - it's almost musical.
I was so stunned at seeing my relatives doing this - that I quickly looked over at my Mom - who was just as surprised to see her siblings participating -
She looked at me and raised her eyebrows slightly - and that was it -
We both started shaking with silent laughter - till we cried - which was appropriate in the end because my Grandmother liked to laugh more than anyone else I knew.............
She would have been the first one to say " ya crazy bastards "
( to understand THAT grandmother a little more you can read about her HERE )

So you can understand my fear - I had a funeral to go to - one of my dearest sister-friend's Mother passed away -
I was a nervous wreck.( which doesn't help this particular affliction - at all )

Suzan says - I'm nervous - what if I start to laugh?
John says - mortified - Can't you just behave like an adult?

I'm happy to report that I behaved like an adult.
This time.
_________________________________________________________________________________

And speaking of behaving like an adult ....................

Often when I'm watching a movie - if one of the actors looks like someone I know ( especially someone I love ) certain scenes can become unbearable - and if they're terrible scenes - well I kind of fall apart emotionally ..................

When John and I were still in the dating stage ( and we dated for 4 years ) we went to see a movie -
Saving Private Ryan actually -
Tom Hanks looks a lot like my youngest brother.
Enough said..................

Halfway through the movie I was sobbing silently next to him - and told him I couldn't stay to watch the whole thing - it was ripping my heart out -

He turned around and hissed at me - HISSED

" Even children don't behave like this at the movies "

That was the first time he had shown any kind of anger at me - and I was so stunned that I remember thinking - " well this is it - he's not for me - how dare he reprimand me like I'm a 5 year old "

He's still hissing at me 16 years later LMHO
( and I'm still either laughing hysterically or crying irrationally )

But I'm NOT a hisser.
_________________________________________________________________________________

We saw a commercial recently on people who laugh and cry compulsively - apparently it's a disorder
( I'm so tired of them labelling - every single thing people do for crying out loud )

John says - Look !  That's what you have !

I laughed my head off - I mean roared - he's too funny

And then I started crying thinking I might have another disorder......................

I can live with my OCD - but I don't need any more labels - thankyouverymuch

Is there a label for people who don't laugh enough?
Is there a label for people who hiss?
_________________________________________________________________________________

I've been wanting to share this story sooooo badly - and I didn't know if it was right to do so - because it's not my story - so I won't reveal names -
But my daughter went to a funeral last winter
A Jewish funeral - ( and Jews have the art of humor down to a science - all my favorite comedians are/were Jewish )

The woman who had passed away was a very renowned international philanthropist - who happened to be a gynecologist - her Son recounted the tale................

When she first started her career - she shared an office with her husband who was a dentist.

They didn't have a receptionist in the early days - so they would just grab the phone when it rang.

One day a lady called - and asked to speak to the Doctor -

" Speaking "  the husband replied
" I have an infection " the woman said - " how much would it cost to come in for a check up? "
" Well " the doctor replied - " that would depend on the size of your cavity "

Have you guessed it yet?
I'm still laughing a year later at this story

She was calling the gynecologist - and was absolutely mortified by this response.
_________________________________________________________________________________

I used to go to a comedy club here in Montreal -
Often.
My favorite night out, bar none.
( I still go to the Just for Laughs Festival every summer )

Once I was sitting in the front - cackling away ( and I do cackle - or so I'm told by my better half )
The comedian made fun of my laugh - several times - my girlfriend was dying of embarrassment - but It really didn't bother me - if you can make me laugh - I'm yours forever.
Bosum buddies.....................
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And speaking of bosums...................

This next video had me in stitches - though some may find it a little vulgar - I only see the humor in it !
Warning - boobies are exposed - not suitable for work ! ( and not suitable to anyone who opposes boobies for that matter - me?  I'm more opposed to to what's going on with terrorism to ever be bothered by a little flesh )

From - Dallas, Texas - Rodney Carrington !




I'm with Rodney on this one - with all the current grief in the world - and the tears that go with that - ( and I shed my share ) it's good to remember the joy - and the very best part of joy is laughter - in my humble opinion.

I tried " flashing " John this week - out of the blue - while hockey was on but nothing comes between John and Hockey - not even boobs
John says - What in God's name are you doing?
Suzan says - Trying to save the world.................................don't you care about it?
John says - What the hell are you talking about?  Can you get out of the way of the t.v. please?

So I got out of the way of the boob - tube

What a sad state of affairs..............even when I try to stay abreast of things it doesn't work.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone -
Much love,
Me

Thursday, January 22, 2015

A little change in the kitchen !

I've wanted to add a curtain panel on a lower cabinet for awhile now - but because they're new cabinets I felt wrong drilling holes into them for the hardware ( translation - I think that would be the straw that broke John's back )

So I simply bought a spring tension rod and used that instead -
I haven't even removed the door yet because I wasn't even sure if I'd like it

But I do !
I think I like it !
( I'm a little bit country )


The rings are too big for this purpose - I have to find smaller ones ( or get creative )
And I haven't even  removed the door because I may not like it tomorrow


Again I used a tablecloth - I simply folded it in half and the best part of that is?
I can whip it off when we're having supper LMHO !!!

What do you think?

Suzan says - Do you like it?
John says - I think it's better if I don't say anything at all
Suzan says - You don't like it?????
John says - Who hangs a table cloth on a cabinet door?
Suzan says - Half of the blogmosphere, that's who
John says - You all scare me

Here's the table cloth on the door in case you've forgotten - he shakes his head every time he walks by it.


I won't tell him I've just ordered another one from Amazon.....................but I may wrap MYSELF in the next one LOL


I found this jug over the holidays - and he doesn't get why I'm keeping wooden spoons in something
that's clearly meant for WATER either.


Have a wonderful Thursday everyone -
( by the way - I'm a little bit rock & roll too )
Big hugs,
Me


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