These are a few - and really JUST a few of the ladies that have made me laugh - in my mind one of the most precious gifts you can give. They're in no particular order GILDA RADNER  |
| I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. |
TINA FEY  |
| A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss. |
CAROLINE RHEA  |
| Don`t compare yourself with someone else`s version of happy or thin. Accepting yourself burns the most calories. |
BETTY WHITE
 |
“Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”
ROSEANNE BARR  |
| Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself. |
JOAN RIVERS |
| I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. |
PHYLLIS DILLER  |
| The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. |
TOTIE FIELDS  |
| I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. |
MAE WEST
 |
| A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. |
CAROL BURNETT
 |
| I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these? |
ERMA BOMBECK |
| Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, "No, thank you" to dessert that night. And for what?! |
NORA EPHRON
 |
| Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy. I BOW TO YOU LADIES - EVERY ONE OF YOU THANKS A MILLION FOR THE LAUGHS and I know without a doubt I've left far too many of you out some are dead and some are living in my life I've loved them all  |
