Glad you're here - come on in !
I took an IQ test last night because I was convinced I was a genius with my problem solving abilities.
CONVINCED.
43 questions later..............I received a 93.
Nothing more than average.
Now I will tell you that there was a couple of times over the years where I scored in the 120's. -
( I'm not bragging because that's not what geniuses do )
so depending what source you choose I was either mildly gifted or " superior "
And so I've been walking around a little taller all my life with that knowledge under my belt.
I'm blaming it on the house.
Really - it's making me stupid crazy.
My original plan was that John and I would both take the test - and then I would comfort him and explain to him that it was just a silly little test - that it didn't mean anything at all. ( in a mildly superior way of course )
Now?
I'm too terrified he'll score higher than me.
Not happening.
At least I was smart enough to do a test run before I sprung the idea on him.
And that alone should bring my IQ up by 20 points don't you think?
If YOU fall in the superior range - do NOT buy a fixer upper.
Just saying.
It'll crush you like a bug.
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I don't know if I've ever shared this before but the power of suggestion is extremely strong in me ( in most geniuses really I think )
If someone just talks about having a cold - I get a cold.
If someone hurts themselves in a particular area - it happens to me within days of hearing about it.
If my daughter's pregnant - my belly starts growing.
This happens too frequently to just write off as a coincidence.
My girlfriend's daughter had lice last winter.
So I was convinced I had lice - even though I was never in close proximity to her.
My head started itching like crazy - and at times I felt them WALKING around up there.
John checked my head.
Lindsay checked my head.
Ashley checked my head.
Gordie's girlfriend checked my head.
And they're all trying to tell me it's just dry scalp - that there isn't any lice up there.
Suzan says - Can you check my head again?
John says - YOU DON'T HAVE LICE FOR GOD'S SAKES
John says - You're borderline insane you know
And I always assumed that I was.
Borderline insane - because that's close to genius.
Now I know I'm just nuts..............how depressing.
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I stopped getting bikini waxes years ago.
They were torture for me - the Esthetician told me it was because I was fair - but whatever the reason was -
DEAR GOD it was torture.
I would lay there terrorized - clutching at the bed and counting to 10 before I'd let her attack.
I would bleed every time she ripped the paper off - and she was a savage about it - I must say - smiling away as she ripped hair follicles from deep inside my body - laughing out loud as I moaned in agony.
I think it would work as an interrogation tool perfectly - on " fair " criminals anyway.
So now I shave.
I put my bathing suit on yesterday and pranced outside to step into the pool.
I've gained weight this year. ( Ashley's pregnant as you know - see? )
In my belly.
So the Netherland's are not easily seen when I look down - and it's not easy holding your belly with one hand and haphazardly shaving down there with the other. ( and just admitting that I have to hold my belly flat makes me want to go vomit - so excuse me I'll be right back )
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Ok - I'm back.
So to my total horror - I could see - as I stepped out into the bright sunshine that I misjudged my bikini line when shaving.
Entirely.
O.M.G.
It was sprouting out everywhere.
I noticed a squirrel on the fence do a double take.
I whipped a towel around myself and ran back in the house - completely mortified.
Time to diet or make an appointment for a bikini wax - or at the very least get rid of the squirrels.
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Pluck
Shave
Cut
Style
Trim
Check for lice
Repeat..................
I know I talk a lot about it but I'M SICK TO DEATH OF HAIR............seriously sick to death of it
It diminishes the quality of life when half of it is spent concentrating on it.
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So.............what else is new?
Have you seen the Italian Grandmother's trying Olive Garden for the first time?
They should have went to Pasta Lover's instead....................( if you're visiting Manhattan it's a great place for inexpensive Italian food )
Don't you love the 2 that loved everything they tried?
If you want to splurge on an incredible Italian dining experience - Nocello's is my favorite ( on 55th - Hell's Kitchen ) pricey - but worth every penny !
Hopefully they're still there lol - we used to go to Manhattan monthly for our business - but I haven't been in over 3 years now.
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I'm still plugging away in the front porch - the goal is to have it finished by Sunday
One side is oh so close................( notice the new / old trunk ? )
The other?
Not so much
But today?
I plan to be in the pool for a good part of it !!!
( just as soon as I dehair myself properly )
Have a wonderful weekend everyone !
Hugs,
Me
