Hey you !!!
Come in - come in !
Let me put the kettle on - grab a seat.....................
Want to sit in my newly finished front ( enclosed ) porch for a bit?
As you know I've been working on it feverishly !
John was going to be in the vicinity of Ikea during the week - so................
Suzan says - Do you think you could pick me up something at IKEA?
( because any time he's going to be anywhere near it - he MUST take advantage of it and pick something up for me ! )
John says - Sure - nothing big I hope ?
Suzan says - Nah - just some throw pillows
John says - Ok - write it all down and I'll pick them up.
Now - I'll let YOU know - they're 1.99 ( which means they're probably a quarter in the States ) but they're smallish ( 13 inches by 13 inches ) so I decided to get 6 for each of the built in benches in the front.
My list read :
KAKRIS throw cushions.................12 please !
Because for the price of one pillow ( 24.00 ) I could get 12 - now THAT's a deal.
He came home with 6
Suzan says - Why only 6 - it read they had tons of them in stock ?
John says - They do
Suzan says - But I asked for 12 of them
John says - I thought that was what you wanted to spend
DEAR GOD - IT'S GETTING WORSE - IT REALLY IS
Suzan says - Is that really how you read it
John says - well you're never precise.................I have to guess everything.
So my note should have read as follows :
KAKRIS throw cushions............. 12 please.
1.99
X
12 =
____________
23.88
PLEASE BE SURE TO PURCHASE 12 OF THEM - THANKS !
________________________________________________________________________________
Suzan says - if you're going to be my go-fer - you need to pay attention !
John says - ok Groundhog
Suzan says - Huh? What does that mean?
John says - Well if I'm a go-fer - you're a groundhog
Suzan says - That makes no sense at all - a go-fer goes for this and that
John says - Have you ever caught a rabbit?
Suzan says - WHAT?????????????????????
John shrugs - says - Well you ain't no friend of mine.
He's so proud of himself for that line that his shoulders are shaking
He's a tit for tat type of man.
Sometimes it takes a day or two - but he saves everything I say and then he'll come back with a retort.
This was a quick one.............
And by the way - he used to call me his kitten.
Bigger they come - harder they fall...................
_________________________________________________________________________________
WMBF NEWS
MYRTLE BEACH, SC (WMBF) – A woman who was asked to leave a seafood buffet after spending four hours there and causing a disturbance told police that she planned to have “Jesus” pay her bill, according to a Myrtle Beach Police report.
Police responded to Bennett's Calabash Seafood Buffet Restaurant in Myrtle Beach at about 9:15 p.m. on Sunday, in reference to a patron unwilling to pay her bill, the report states.
The restaurant management told the officer that the offender, later identified as 51-year-old April Lee Yates, arrived four hours earlier to eat dinner. While there, she caused a disturbance with other patrons at the restaurant, and management asked her pay her bill and leave.
Yates refused to pay her bill, the report states. She told the officer she did not have any money on her. The officer asked her if she knew she had no money when she entered, and she said yes. The officer then asked what she had planned to do when the bill came, and she said someone would pay the bill for her. When the officer asked who, she replied, “Jesus.”
Yates was placed under arrest for defrauding a restaurant and taken to the Myrtle Beach Jail
She'd better pray Jesus gets her a good lawyer.
_________________________________________________________________________________
We were watching a couple of squirrels running along the fence yesterday
John says - Aren't they the cutest things?
Suzan says - I hate them
John says - How can you hate them? They're adorable
Suzan says - They kill snakes
John roars
John says - Don't be ridiculous
I know most people think squirrels are adorable little things.
I don't.
Especially when they break into houses ( like they did in our last place
HERE )
They terrify me
And in case you're on the same page as John and
you think they're just little acorn loving animals - take a look at this photo from
GUADALUPE MOUNTAINS NATIONAL PARK FACEBOOK PAGE
John says - Maybe that's why we don't have snakes in our back yard
Suzan says- No -
that would be because we live in Montreal - not Texas
John says - Maybe we could train ours to eat groundhogs.......................
Suzan says - Or go-fers
_________________________________________________________________________________
Now having said all that - I think Montreal squirrels are cowardly
Last week I saw a robin attacking a huge one ( go rockin' robin ) she was furious - and she hurt him.
He toppled off the fence and limped off ( and I felt the teeniest bit sorry for him to be honest with you )
If I'd had a snake I'd have offered it to him as a consolation prize.
Maybe.
Bigger they come - harder they fall
_________________________________________________________________________________
John says - Donald Trump is leading in the polls
Suzan says - I know - scary stuff
John says - Well he's a great business man - you never know
We took my Mother with us once to Manhattan - and she wanted to go to Trump tower.
She LOVED Donald - I did not - but I took her there for lunch ( there's a small sort of a cafeteria style eating section downstairs.)
After we'd finished and were coming upstairs - there was a young good looking man dressed in a 3 piece suit talking on his cell...............
My mother says - That's Donald's youngest !
Suzan says - No - I don't think so -
but before I could finish my sentence - she was off - like a bat out of hell............
EXCUSE ME - I could hear her screaming
ARE YOU DONALD'S YOUNGEST?
I was mortified.................people stopped to look at us -
He was very gracious............shook her hand - gave her a huge smile and acknowledged that he was.
Oh - please tell your Dad I just love him.
OMG.................ok Mom - let's go -
And as we walked away - she screamed out
" Oh and tell him HE'S FIRED "
And she giggled her head off like she'd just said the wittiest thing on the planet...........
As we left the building -
Suzan says - Mom - this is N.Y. - people leave people alone here - they don't run up to people like that.
Mom shrugs - I'm not a New Yorker - I'm a Montrealer - I can get away with it.
I then took her on a double decker bus tour of the city..................where she promptly told the tour guide that she'd just met Donald Trump's youngest son - and told him to tell his Father that he was fired
( she was really quite proud of that obviously )
As the tour bus passed the Trump building - the guide repeated the story on the microphone for the entire bus to hear.......................as my Mother sat grinning from ear to ear
Someone leaned over and asked her if it was her who'd said that
Yes - she replied - it sure was !!!
We took her everywhere that trip - everywhere - but the highlight was meeting Junior
So when I found out that his Father was running for President - I figured she'd be delighted
Oh that a$$hole - she replied.
I don't even want to know what happened to change her mind..................but it must have been huge.
Bigger they come - harder they fall.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Last year at the end of summer I asked John to put the pool mattresses and loungers away.
When I went in to pull them out - they were shoved into the shed - ( they're quite large - 4 of them ) half inflated.................
John says - There's no bloody room in the shed to get anything in
Suzan says - Oh come on - don't be silly
John says - Those pool mattresses take up too much room
I went in to see why there was no room -
Suzan says - OMG ! Why didn't you deflate them?
John says - You told me to put them away
Suzan says - WHY DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU HOW TO DO THINGS STEP BY STEP - IT'S ONLY COMMON SENSE THAT YOU HAVE TO DEFLATE THEM !!!!!!
John says - Well winter was on it's way - I didn't have time
Suzan says - Were you expecting a freak blizzard to appear at any moment in late September ?
Suzan says - It only takes a few minutes to do it
John says - YOU NEVER TOLD ME TO DEFLATE THEM FOR GOD'S SAKES !!!
I'm waiting for a delivery today - 2 mattresses and 2 loungers to replace the ones that were destroyed by all the wood he threw on top of them.
I also cleaned out the shed - really I don't know how he lives the way he does..................mayhem - sheer mayhem. He keeps his areas like a giant freaking
JENGA game !!!
_________________________________________________________________________________
We're getting ready to put a deck in next week - wish us luck - because we're going to need every last bit of it that you can wish on us....................trust me on that one !
Hope you have a wonderful weekend - I'll be finishing off the front porch
See ya Monday - bright and early !!!
Hugs,
Me
