A FRIDAY CHAT ( about this & that )

Well, well, well, look who's back !

I thought I'd write up a post this morning to let you all know that I'm at the very least alive ;)
Busy - frantically so - but alive !

Come in !
Quickly !

There's a heatwave happening here..............and when you add the humidity ( Montreal is an island - like Manhattan ) HOLY COW!  100 degrees of dry heat is nothing like 100 degrees of humidity.
There's warnings on the weather network daily - for the very young and very old to be extremely careful ( the rest of us can go to hell LOL )
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So I had a dentist appointment yesterday.
I had one tooth bonded and an old filling updated.
On 2 different sides of my mouth - both uppers.
Today I look like I had a lip job done.
Jesus how he wept WHY DOES EVERYTHING turn into SOMETHING with me?
Routine appointments.  People walk in and walk out looking the exact same.
I walk out with lips 3 times the size they were upon entering.
But looking on the bright side of things - I can now remove lip enlargement off my list of things I'd like to do one day.

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I haven't been writing down the things John says for quite awhile now ( well since I've been too lazy to blog )
So I'm scrambling around here trying to remember a few of our conversations.........
But this one is a doozy.

John says - I'm going to give blood next week
Suzan says - Oh that's nice !
John says - What the hell is nice about it?
Suzan says - I think it's a wonderful thing to do John
John says - You sound like you've got a screw loose, you know that?
Suzan says - What IS the matter with you?  I'm giving you a compliment.  And I'm also proud of you!
John says - Well I should have blood tests more often!
Suzan says - Blood Tests?  YOU SAID YOU WERE GIVING BLOOD !
John says - I am !
Suzan says - So why are you talking about blood tests for crying out loud?
John says - LISTEN CAREFULLY - I HAVE BLOOD TESTS NEXT WEEK.
Suzan says - Then you're not GIVING blood.............OMG......do you even know the difference?
John says - I'M GIVING BLOOD TO THE DOCTOR AREN'T I ?
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We had to get some shopping done yesterday for our trip next month ( Look out Paris here I come )
We have an on-going discussion every time we get in the car.
It's now part of our schtick.

I open the passenger window all the way down.
John opens his half an inch.

Suzan says - It's beautiful out - why don't you open your window all the way?
John says - LEAVE ME ALONE - YOU CAN OPEN YOURS ALL THE WAY !
Suzan says - But I want a cross breeze !

I swear to you I believe this to be true.
He's afraid that when the breeze blows his hair around that he'll lose some !

If he's alone in the car the windows are closed - no air on - just driving around the city on a beautiful day sealed in his little chamber nice and air tight like.

Suzan says - It's not normal !
John says - YOU'RE NOT NORMAL !

Truth is neither of us are...........but he's a little less so than I don't you think?
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We have an ongoing debate going on in Montreal that's very embarrassing to write about.  Especially if you're an animal lover.
They're trying to ban pit bulls here.
For such an exciting forward thinking province we have such antiquated laws and now they want to add this to an already bizarre maze of  them?
We already have to deal with language laws that no other place in the western free world practices and now this?
When will people use the common sense they were born with and realize it's not the dog it's the owners?
To ban a whole breed of an animal?
Not just English speaking ones either !
It's sick.
( for those of you south of our border - don't judge - you have one running for office )
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So I got side tracked again - I mentioned I was out shopping yesterday - I didn't mention what I was shopping for exactly, did I ?
SPANX.
OMG - I spent time during a heat wave to try on sausage casing !
I found one that made ( most of - there was still remnants ) my tummy much flatter.
Only thing is it made my already flat ass completely disappear.
Nothing's in proportion with me.
NOTHING.
In order to have a butt I have to gain enough weight that I actually look pregnant in the front.
I've lost some weight so the last thing I need right now is an undergarment that removes my backside.
I NEED AN ASS.
( for those of you south of our border - don't judge - you have one running for office )
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Most of you know that we're in the fabric business.
Years ago - 10 or so - when we were doing business in Manhattan and we booked an appointment with a man who made ties and shirts.
It was such a disagreeable meeting that we decided we'd rather not do business with that person's company at all.
All of his merchandise was made outside of the U.S. and he wouldn't pay for quality.
Sometimes you make decisions based on gut feelings.
( for those of you south of the border - don't judge - he's now running for office. )

And those of you that support him - lighten up !
Jokes people.  They're only jokes.
You know..........like he tells !
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Often - when John and I are out - if one of us stops the other just continues walking - blissfully unaware.
It's usually John.
I turn around to point something out in a window and he's gone ( baby gone )
So that trip to Paris?
We've been invited to a fancy evening out.
I bought sandals for it.

John says - What the hell is all that clunking and banging going on up there ?
Suzan says - I'm just practicing walking around in my new sandals.
John says - It sounds like an elephant stomping around up there
Suzan says - Thanks John.

Here's the new sandals.

I have one month to RElearn how to walk in heels this high.

John says - They're as tall as the Eiffel Tower for God sakes !

I have a fear of tumbling down on the Champs Elysees and looking up frantically from the ground for John and............
gone baby gone.
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That's it for today folks -
I have a huge transformation I'm working on - who knows - it may end up a post on it's own one day!
Okay - okay - here's a sneak peak

It's NOT mine ( wish it were )

You all have a wonderful weekend -
I'm off to Quebec City for the weekend ............where the only remaining fortified city walls exist in North America ..........north of Mexico.
For now anyway.



Bon Weekend mes amis !

Hugs,

A FRIDAY CHAT ( about this & that )

Good wonderful Friday morning all !

Don't just stand there - come in !!!

There's tea in the kitchen - and coffee - and water of course
( tea and coffee and water - tea and coffee and water - tea and coffee and water )

I'm repeating it because because that's what I've started doing.
When I need something like oh I don't know - lets say scissors
By the time I walk into the kitchen to get them I've completely forgotten what I've gone into the kitchen for.
I stand there wracking my brains for a bit - shrug and walk away and it's only when I've left the room that I remember I needed scissors.

So now I say it repeatedly.
Scissors - scissors - scissors.
Sometimes I'll say it repeatedly and then notice something else as I'm walking by and be totally thrown off - but usually it works.
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So lets see
Last week I left you off where my Mother used to cut our hair and someone mentioned that they used to get perms.
And that reminded me of something dreadful.
We were staying at my grandmothers one weekend and one of my grandmothers ( Nana Estelle - you can read about my 2 grandmothers HERE ) decided to take me to the hairdressers to get me a perm.

Our Father  ( who art in Heaven )

I was 5 years old when I walked in
And I was 85 years old when I walked out.

I looked like a miniature little old lady.
It was horrid.
Very very short and very very tight little curls.
Like Little Orphan Annie.

AND THEN SHE TOOK ME TO A PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAHER
( so there would be proof forever more )
I tried to find the photo but on my way to look for it I noticed fluff on the floor and got the vacuum out instead )
I'll try to find it though, I promise because I could never write in words anything as funny as that picture.
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One last story about hair and then I'm done with that subject.

I'm a natural blonde ( or was a natural blonde I suppose ) but in my late teens I decided I wanted jet black hair.

A quick visit to the pharmacy took care of that and off I went on a night out on the town with a group of friends - my long flowing raven hair blowing in the wind.

I personally thought I looked very exotic...........Italian or Spanish - until someone pointed out that I still had blonde eyebrows.

I had never considered that.
Which left me realizing you can take the blonde out of a dumb blonde but you can't take the ...............
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Another memory hit me last weekend.
I can remember the family ( and when I say family I mean extended as well ) all piling into 2 cars.
Probably 20 of us - like a clown car.
Back in the 60's we didn't wear seat belts - and I can vividly recall adults sitting on the actual seats and us kids piled down on the floor at their feet.
OMG - how dangerous.
OMG - how exciting !
You could fit 3 - possibly 4 adults in the front ( one large seat - no " bucket seats " then )
and 5 or 6 in the back - babies sat on laps with a hand draped across them - and then you stuffed kids into all the spare spaces
You know, the way you pack a suitcase when going on a trip - we would have been the socks so to speak.
All the adults would be smoking and hacking up a lung so it was probably the safest place to be down there.
Our destination would be the country side - where water was to be precise and as soon as we hit the country roads the kids would pile out and clamber up onto the roof of the cars.
Trees and branches would be ducked under and we'd sit up there like Kings of the Road.
Breathing the clean air.
Yelling like Tarzan.  Giggling until we nearly fell off.
Upon reaching the beach area all the adults would tumble out - and coolers and folding chairs would be taken out of the trunks.
We'd spend the entire day there.
Koolaid and p & j sandwiches would flow.  Or koolaid and chopped egg salad.  Or koolaid and cheese slice sandwiches.
With ripple chips.
RIPPLE - not ruffle.
It was ( and is ) one of my fondest childhood memories.

How we survived I have no idea - but survive we did.
Actually we thrived.
When I look at how careful we all are now I look back wistfully and think of those summer days.
Dangerous ?
Yeah - our childhoods were pretty dangerous looking back.....
But crowded spaces make for close families.
The state of the world today - in 2016 is a far more frightening thing to reflect on.
So much division and fear that all I want to do is crawl into the back of a chevy - curl up on the floor at my grandmother's feet and stay there for an entire summer coming up only when the coast is clear and the scariest thing is a tree branch whacking me in the head.
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BREXIT.............
When you're raised in an era of tearing down walls - watching them being built back up is heartbreaking.
Whether it's necessary or not is beside the question for now.  Just the very act of it fills me with an emotion that I'm not quite sure how to articulate.
But it's heavy.
The feeling is heavy.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend everyone !
Maybe I'll talk John into going to the country - and I'll sit on the roof as soon as the city roads are behind us !
I need some Old Fashioned fun this weekend.



Love - always love
Me