My favorite wall colors - bar none - are greys - from the deepest charcoal to the lightest dove shades.
Most of my clothes tend to be black and white - black slacks - white blouse - black skirt - white tee - and I have far too many little black dresses hanging in my closet to mention. ( even my bathing suit is black )
I very seldom wear socks ( even in the winter ) but when I do, I only wear black or white ones.
Every towel in my linen closet is white - as are every set of sheets I own ( well actually I broke down last year and bought a colorful set - but have rarely put them on the bed )
I have 5 duvets - ALL white -
I just tossed a favorite pair of flip flops into the garbage can - because they were black and so worn that the black was actually staining the bottom of my feet and as much as I may love black - it's not a nice look on the soles of one's feet. ( especially on feet that are currently as white as the Pillsbury Dough Boy )
I DO wear color from time to time - but mostly I'm in black and white - I like to think of it as " CHIC " but I probably look like I'm in mourning to most people.
My kids, however, adore COLOR - and as soon as they left home they embraced it like crazy.
( the choices I gave my daughters for their rooms were always Pink - Lighter Pink - or lightest Pink )
They had gorgeous rooms that perfectly reflected the little girl in ME - and never them.
And so today they tend to surround themselves in an explosion of color- maybe because I stifled it out of their home enviroment for so many years?
As some of you know one of my daughters is getting married at the end of the month.
I made myself a promise that I was not going to interfere in anyway with what she wanted to do.
Not even in the form of gentle persuasion - this is her day - and I decided all the memories she creates have to reflect that.
So when she decided she did not want her mothers choice of white and pearl gray table decorations
because there just wasn't enough color involved - I praised her vibrant choice.
The lanterns are in yellow - green - red - and fushcia and scattered stones will be colorful as well.
Lindsay on St. Patrick's day ( I hope she doesn't wear that wig on her wedding day - but honestly you just never know )
And when she decided she wanted a " themed " wedding - nothing " ordinary " Mom - and the theme was that everyone should come in their favorite era - I immediately told her I'd choose the 60's or 70's - and I didn't bat an eyelash ( well definitely not outwardly anyway - I think there may have been some internal batting because the back of my eyeballs are still bruised )
And when my Son decided to honor his sister by coming as Billy Idol ( her favorite ' vintage ' performer )
I bit my tongue so hard that it's still bleeding. BUT I DIDN'T SAY A WORD.
Lindsay says - Please don't try to talk Gordie out of it Mom - I think it's so awesome
Mom says - Lindsay - I would NEVER do that -
Last night my Son dropped by to show me his new ( dyed ) Billy Idol hair do
Mom says - Gordie, you know you don't HAVE to do this
Gordie says - It's for my sister Mom, not for you
( man these kids love each other, let me tell you )
He's going to sing " little sister " to her - if you don't know Billy Idol, never mind
( I am not a fan of Billy Idol )
If anyone refers to me as Billy Idols Mom that day - I'll smack them.
Not very Mother of the Bride ( ish ) I know - but I will.
I think he's trying to channel his sister Ashley a little more actually
Although she's no longer blonde - this month she's dark - next month?
Well we'll see.................each color seems to get better on her but I never know who's going
to walk through the door.
And I haven't said a word during this whole process - which is as rare an entity as you are ever going to find in this lifetime but I have my reasons.
And these would be some of them.
1) This is not my day - this is hers - and every memory she makes are for her to treasure
2) Her happiness is my joy - period.
3) I've heard nightmare stories about Brides caving in to demands from parents - and not having the weddings they wanted at all - I don't want Lindsay down the road - to wistfully look back and say
" I wish I could have.............." .about anything at all - if she wishes it - I want her to have it.
4) I'm tired of saying " no " - I said that word far too often in their lifetimes - it isn't my place anymore
5) I'm kind of excited to get to this wedding - I secretly think it's going to be such a blast
And here's the list of things she's decided on that I'm over the top happy about.
John will be reading an excerpt from The Velveteen Rabbit at her request
“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”
“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.
“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”
“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
And I love that one of her best friends ( a very gifted singer ) will be singing at the Church ( where her Mother will be marrying Lindsay and Tony ) " Let's Fall in Love "
Birds do it - bees do it - even educated fleas do it.....................
I adore that she is walking up the aisle to " Chapel of Love "
I love that the first dance will be a choreographed number to " And then he Kissed me " and will involve all of the wedding party.
But this - which she told me about tonight - shot bursts of reds and greens and blues and yellows and purples throughout my soul like fireworks.
Mom - I know it's not traditional but I'd really like for us to have a dance together too............Forever Young (a song I sang to them constantly when they were growing up and which has a particularly profound meaning to all of us ) and maybe Ashley and Gordie can join us - it's our song after all - when it was just the 4 of us.
Oh Lindsay - it would be my utmost pleasure - my absolute thrill of a lifetime - to dance with you, your sister and your bother on your wedding day................
Are you crying Mom?
Mom - I didn't mean to make you cry!!!
Mom - look at me...................
You see ?That's what fireworks do to me - they leave me a blabbering mess - I'm crying as I type this.
And I wouldn't have it any other way - I need them ( desperately ) in my world -
They bring glorious color to an otherwise Grey - Black and White space
and there's only so much Grey Black and White that should be allowed in one's space..
And if you're lucky enough - you have kids that force it upon you.
Oh and by the way?
My dress is black
As is the big floppy black hat that will adorn my head
Old habits die hard.
To Lindsay - Ashley and Gordie -
( and DUE unto others ??? - typing too quickly Mother )
You three are my Rainbow..................my big beautiful Rainbow - and I'll be forever in awe
of your colors.................the outwardly ones yes - but the ones that shine through from the
inside most of all.
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you...................
WITH LOVE,
MOM
now excuse me, I'm off to practice my dance steps - I have the dance of a lifetime coming up at the end of the month.................
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