But this one is different.
This one brings me to my knees.
This one make me sob and howl and hurt with a pain so deep it threatens to make me physically ill.
My heart hurts -
My soul aches -
My fingers can barely type -
This one has me ready to come to a complete stop with Christmas decorating - the frivolity of it seems almost sacreligious -
This one froze on my tongue when I tried to tell John about it - weeping so hard he couldn't understand a word I was saying, leaving him yelling in panic
" WHAT IS IT - WHAT'S HAPPENED - IS EVERYONE OK ?"
Nodding my head - then quickly shaking my head before stammering out 27 dead John - 27 dead.
This one feels personal.
This one involves the epitome of innocence in a face off with the epitome of evil.
This one took the lives of children who probably still believed in Santa Claus.
This one leaves gifts under the tree with no one to open them.
You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry.........................
This one will affect an entire community where Carol's sister's child played with Ann's nephew
This one will never leave me - a complete stranger - never - not in my lifetime
This one is life changing. For those involved without a doubt, but for those of us on the outside as well.
This one will forever be the true Nightmare before Christmas.
This one will not be one that donating to charity will help our souls find comfort with.
This one leaves me questionning far too many things.
This one makes me, for the first time in my life - a very Canadian Liberal girl - who is anti - gun
re-evaluate my stance on them.
This one makes me know with all certainty that had I been there - and had I had a gun - I'd have used
it to the best of my abilities -
to kill that fucking deranged maniac.
I'm sorry if my language offends - and I may lose some followers over it
but this one leaves me with no social etiquette.
At. All.
In fact there's a whole lot of them on the tip of my tongue - I'd like to stand on rooftops and
scream that word out until it has completely left my body - instead I'll let only the one slip
out on my blog - where hopefully you will " get " it.
Be well - be strong. be safe.
John is mad that I swore on my blog - don't go there today John - not today.
It's not necessary Suzan.
Oh but it is John - for some sick strange reason - it's completely necessary for me to say that word.
And if anyone needs a place to swear today - this would be the place - for one day only.
