simply vintageous...by Suzan: reupholstering dining room chairs

So here we go - remember this?

John could not understand what I saw in this - but I saw Vintage French Provincial - I saw curved designs on the back of a chair - I saw a scallop edge on the table bottom -
What I did NOT see was all the junk in the photo - I'm able to filter all of that out at this point - where that was ALL John could see - but isn't that an interesting array of items lol
There's a phone - a colander - stacked cups - a goose necked lamp - a porcelain frying pan - a cutting board - a water bottle etc - I should save this, it could work well as a shower game - you have 30 seconds to look at it and list the items !!!

John went to pick up the set - and I called him on his way back and asked him what it looked like

Suzan says - Hi - did you get it?
John says - Yup
Suzan says - You don't sound very enthusiastic
John says - Wait till you see it - I told you to come with me -
Suzan says - I don't need to see all of it - I saw the photo - that was enough for.......
John interrupts - IT'S GARBAGE - YOU SENT ME OUT TO PICK UP GARBAGE AGAIN
Suzan says - I'll transform it John - you know that by now -
John says - LISTEN, the minute I get in the house I'm taking a shower, do you understand me - you
don't know where I've just been
Suzan says - You're becoming a germaphobic I think
John says - good-bye Suzan, I'm hanging up now -

OK - what I also didn't see was this ( and nor would I have thought it possible really ) and you will want to take a shower after looking at it lol

I didn't see the color of the filth on the wood either as a matter of fact but each chair took 3 buckets of soapy water before the water stayed clear - you can see that here if you like photos of dirty water

So first order of the day was to remove that fabric and in some cases there were multiple layers of fabric -
for the most part it practically disintegrated as I pulled - except where I needed it to - pliers were a neccesity here

then I cut out my new seat cushions - these had none at all - they were like sitting on wood chairs

Now here's an incredible tip supplied by JOHN himself - he's puffing like a penguin right now -
You know when you're reupholstering seats sometimes it's hard to judge where the screw hole is, right?
and if you try to screw in through the fabric - well, sometimes it works and sometimes it's a disaster, the fabric loops around the screws and fuggedaboudit -
SO......................
I was explaining this to John - and he said - Well the solution is staring you right in the eyes - just keep the screws in while your stapling the fabric
LIGHTBULB ANYONE????????????????

I removed them before I took this shot - ( STOOPID ) but trust me when I tell you this is a powerful TIP.
It's going to be such a breeze screwing the seats back in - ( unless all of you already do this - it honestly never dawned on me lol )

Oh and that piece of paper? WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T REMOVE IT - there are chair police that go around imposing terrible fines for those of you that dare to do so

it used to be 50 to 500 dollars back in the day - I believe it's now at 75,000 dollars - and be careful who you try to sell your item to - if the potential buyer suddenly flips the chair over very quickly - chances are they're Chair Cops.........................

and so finally I had one chair done

hmmm - lets rip that all off says the other Suzan ( don't know her? you can meet her here ) it doesn't go with the way I want to do the table now that I think of it

perhaps this will look better

hmmm boring -

3rd time lucky?

Perfect for this set.........................

Ok now I have an even more important tip for you - and this one's all mine

Once you've painted the chairs - and cut the foam - and cut the fabric - and stapled it on - ( leaving the screws in place ) it's imperative that you stop and get yourself this

not 1 - not 2 - but 3 miniature cheese cakes smothered in chocolate -
and a glass of milk ( just because it does the body good ) ......................................

John says - taking a picture of your dessert are you Suzan?
Suzan says - yup - that I am
John says - I suppose that fits in with the chair makeover post somehow?
Suzan says - you got it mister - it's a tip actually
John says - on what? how to gain weight while reupholstering?
Suzan says - be careful John - be very very careful - your treading on dangerous ground now

Ok - once you've finished you snack - and cut your eyes at your better half - it's time to get started on the table............................

I'm scared to show it to you - because this is really a love it or hate makeover
SO PLEASE PLEASE BE KIND - BECAUSE JOHN SAID A VERY MEAN THING ABOUT MY DESSERT AND I'M FEELING KIND OF FRAGILE.........................and just because I'm nice I won't tell you what he can consume at one sitting - but it's quite astonishing really
Oh wait - I'll show you the before again first - that way it can't help but look amazing! ( another tip for you diy bloggers )

and here's the curves I saw from the very beginning

the next photo is blurry because I couldn't get her to stop dancing - she was doing the can-can or some crazy french dance - I mean she was MOVING guys!

She has a " leaf " that I'm not finished yet - so can sit 6 to 8

The paint color is a creation of mine - Van Gogh paints allows each stocklister to create 4 designer colors, this is going to be one of mine - so can't divulge the secret recipe ladies lol

and I don't know if my camera does it justice because it's really beautiful

( if I do say so myself )