Easy to make Heart Wreaths..................and the squirrel saga continues

I think a new obsession was born when I did April's dining room - she has the most amazing heart collection I've ever seen in one home - really - it's the APRIL'S HEART MUSEUM - if you missed the post I did on them you can find it HERE ( it's TRULY worth it to see ),
Her hearts struck me so deeply that I actually implemented secret hearts onto her dining room chairs when I reupholstered them HERE.
And I decided I wanted to start a heart collection......................
Hmmmm - that was back in April I believe.
We are now in August I believe.
Time to start that collection I believe.

Tonight I had 3.48 minutes to spare and decided to fill them making this

I used a wire hanger from the cleaners ( they use the cheapest ones imaginable so they're really easy to bend)

Don't worry about it not being a perfect heart shape - I think hearts are perfect when they're imperfect 
personally...................

I purchased these flowers ( plastic ) from the dollar store for Easter

and I simply snipped small bunches that I could wrap around the hanger......

and voila - mon premiere COEUR.................

This really did not take more than the 3.48 minutes I had to spare..................
And the cost was under 2.00 -
Ahhhh a collection after my own heart....................

The Squirrel saga continues as well - you can read part one HERE

If you don't read the first part - this will make no sense at all..................

So I was feeling kind of confident that we'd seen the last of the squirrels in our house - until I walked by the living room last night and saw this..............

I ran frantically into the bedroom - where John ( surprise ) was laying down watching T.V

Suzan says - there's STILL a squirrel in the house
John says - don't be ridiculous
Suzan says - there's a piece of bread on the coffee table in the living room John - and it wasn't there earlier
John says - yeah I saw it - you probably had a sandwich and left what you couldn't eat

HE IS NOT JOKING - HE IS DEAD SERIOUS - THOSE OF YOU WHO FOLLOW KNOW THIS, RIGHT???

Suzan says - You've got to be kidding me?
John says - Well you were looking all over the house for your sunglasses today - and they were right on you in your jean jacket pocket - so who knows - you probably left the bread on the table and you've forgotten all about it.
Suzan screams - I DO NOT EAT SANDWICHES THAT WAY - CAN YOU PLEASE GET UP AND LOOK FOR THE SQUIRREL???
John yells - THERE'S NO SQUIRREL IN THE HOUSE - WE WOULD HAVE HEARD IT!!!!!!!!!

I'm soooo mad - really - I am so mad at this guy tonight -
First of all who walks by bread like that on a table and just keeps walking?
Why didn't he clean it up?
And secondly how ridiculous is it to just assume I was eating a sandwich - decided I'd had enough - and tossed it on to the table like that?
Does he think I eat like a savage - with pieces of bread flying out of my mouth - and then just leave everything there like that?
Maybe from now on when I eat supper I'll just toss the chicken bones all over the floor like they did in the medieval ages too.
I mean really - come on - if you saw that on the table - and you knew squirrels had been in the house yesterday - would you just assume your better half had been having a snack.......

So as I'm typing up this post - there's probably a squirrel looking over my shoulder - I'm going to have a heart attack - I swear to God - so my HEART post may be bizarrely appropriate!!!

I'm even afraid of them when they're door stoppers !!!!!!!!!

Which is why I painted the above one ( you can read about that HERE - just so you know I REALLY am afraid of squirrels................

I have to finish a dresser and I'm too numb to do it - what if a frightened squirrel is hiding in one of the drawers????

Heart attack I yell you - this situation is a heart attack waiting to happen!!!

Now excuse me - think I'm going to finish that sandwich now.................

If you're new to my blog - GOD LOVE YOU - that's all I can say - please don't run away in fear - sometimes this blog is perfectly normal ( not often - but sometimes it most definitely is )

My life eerily ( very very eerily ) resembles this movie - click on it - watch it till the end - because I have a horrifying feeling that will be me tomorrow - with a squirrel instead of a raccoon.



And I just have to tell you how Jill from Sew a Fine Seam responded to this conversation in a private email

Oooooh I hate it when men act like that!  Surely he knows you well enough to know you wouldn’t leave your sandwich like that!  Ugh L  Oh I hope it jumps in bed with him!

Often the emails I get are 10 times funnier than the post itself LMHO...........................

Have a great day all!!!
Much love,

and Sammy the Squirrel.

SHARING WITH!!!
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How to get rid of unwanted pests.................

Good morning everyone!
I had a sweet post scheduled to go up this morning - but thought I'd share what happened here yesterday afternoon instead.

I was happily painting a dresser - humming to myself - all alone in the house because John had gone to pick up that antique dresser -
And all of a sudden I heard noises coming out of the kitchen.
I froze - listened for a moment - and ran into the office.
OMG - OMG - OMG - IS THIS IT?
IS IT THE MAN WHO'S BROKEN INTO MY HOUSE TO RAPE AND MURDER ME THAT I'VE BEEN LIVING IN TERROR OF MY ENTIRE LIFE????
Is my last act on earth going to be painting a freaking dresser?

I tiptoed out - with Soda  ( my guard dog )
Here's a photo of her so you can see how mean and scary she can look
She's my accomplice - I love her to death - but I'd rat out on her in a milisecond as you can see
HERE and  HERE

She's on my side - always - through all my illegal activities - and today - when a rapist is rummaging around my kitchen - she goes strangely silent.............

Looking up at me - her head cocked - begging me to pick her up - I think this is it - if Soda's scared then something's really going on her................
I picked her up and ran into my office ( because why would you run out the front door when there's someone in your kitchen???????????????? ) and looked out my office window to see a squirrel jumping in my kitchen window.
OMG - now there must be 2 raping squirrels running around in there............

I dial the phone with shaking fingers...........

John says - Hello
Suzan says - You've got to get back here - there's squirrels in the kitchen
John says - Excuse me?
Suzan says - You heard me - there's squirrels in the kitchen - at least 2 of them
John says - How the hell do these things keep happening to you?
John says - anyway I can't - I'm picking up a dresser for you
Suzan says - Ok - but they're going to destroy the house - because Soda and I are locked in the office
and I'm not coming out till you get home.
John says - Just go in the bloody kitchen and open the back door..................they'll run out.

HUH???
did he just say that?
is he insane?
I'll just casually stroll into the kitchen and calmly walk to the kitchen door while 2 rabid squirrels come flying at my body ripping my skin to shreds and trying to claw my eyes out?

But I did come up with a plan......................and I'm going to share it with you in case you ever find yourself in this predicament.....................

First of all these are the tools you'll need:

1 dinner bell

1 tea light holder

and if you're very lucky and have smashed the office door so hard ( in fright ) that the handle falls off - you'll need that too

Once you have all your tools assembled - grab the dinner bell - and start slamming your hand down on it repeatedly and FRANTICALLY to scare the squirrels...................do this until the palm of your hand starts to throb.

When that doesn't work - walk to the beginning of your hall - and then whip it down as hard as you can until it lands right in front of the kitchen door -
Repeat with the tea light candle holder -
and lastly whip that crystal glass handle so hard that it bounces off the door at the end of the hall for double the impact

Then run back into your office and look out the window to watch 2 squirrels making a hasty retreat -
by the same way they entered.

be sure to take a photo of their point of entry -
and point of retreat -
or no one will believe you.

do not call your better half if he's out - I'm praying this never happens to you - but if it does - at least you know what to do now..................

Oh and by the way - do not step on the door handle as you sprint into the kitchen to lock and bolt the window - it hurts.
It really really hurts.

This happened once before - when we first bought this place btw - John asked me one night if I was spitting out the skins of fruit on the counter top...............
Yes - sweetheart - I've taken a dislike to them - can you clean them up for me?
It turned out that a squirrel had had a little snack then too - using that same window -
I replaced the screen and never thought anything of it again - until today when the little basta adorable things were brave enough to try it once more!

Have a great day.
And bookmark this post - because - well - you just never know when it'll come in handy.

Have a wonderful Monday