Good mornin' - Good mornin'
It's great to stay up late - good mornin' good mornin' to you !
I haven't been to bed yet - and I'm tired
How tired am I - you ask?
I'm so tired that even my boobs are taking a nap on my stomach.
While I sit up.
I'm sure if I got proper sleep they'd be all perky.
These are the things you do when you're really tired.
1) Paint a ceiling - spill a quarter of the tin on a stone floor and spend an hour cleaning it up
2) Sit outside and look at the stars for 20 minutes or so until you hear movement around the corner - run in the house and smash the door shut so loudly that you waken your better half
John yells downstairs - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ?
Suzan says - I think a murderer was coming into the back yard - I was in survival mode - sorry about that !
John says - IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT - WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUTSIDE?
Suzan says - taking a break from washing paint off the floor
John says - WHY ARE YOU PAINTING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?
John says - DO ME A FAVOR? GO BACK OUTSIDE
3) Stand at the back door and watch as a skunk comes ambling along -
4) Shriek -
John yells - NOW WHAT?
Suzan says - OMG - THERE'S A SKUNK IN THE BACK YARD !
John says - Is it a murdering one? Go pet it !
5) Finish painting the ceiling.................
6) Go upstairs and lay down on the bed - stare at the bedroom ceiling and wonder if it needs to be repainted as well..................sigh.
7) Finally start falling asleep....................until 10 minutes later when John gets up to go pee
8) Decide you should maybe go pee too
Suzan says - I'm exhausted
John says - Why don't you try sleeping at night like the rest of the world
Suzan says - Well I would - but you got up to go pee ...................
John says - That's rich
Anyway that's why I have saggy boobs - they're tired is all.
Nothing a good night's sleep wouldn't fix.
And I don't intend on getting a good night's sleep - because I'd be deflated if my theory isn't true.
I'd rather my boobs be deflated than my hope.
_________________________________________________________________________________
We had a real dilemma when we moved into this place.
John always sleeps on the left side of the bed - I sleep on the right - the window - however - only opens on the left hand side. ( John doesn't like the window open - I have to have it open )
After much debating we decided that we would keep things status quo - as long as he allowed the window to stay open Spring - Summer and Fall.
Menopause.
An open window does the body good. I'd keep it open in the winter too if it didn't mean him leaving me.
I remember saying it was probably best to just let me take the left side and we would get used to it very quickly.
No way Jose...............he was pretty adamant.
The other night - in the middle of the night - I heard him cursing and mumbling under his breath.
John says - I'M SOAKING WET !
Suzan says ( thinking he was hot ) I have the fan on !
John says - IT'S POURING RAIN ALL OVER ME DAMN IT !!!!!!!!!!!
OMG - I'm still peeing my pants over it 3 days later.............the drops were literally bouncing off his head !
Hmmmmmmmm - does the right side of the bed seem feasible now, sweetheart?
_________________________________________________________________________________
I keep an extra pair of sandals ( flip flops usually because they're just emergency footwear ) in my purse always.
There's nothing like walking the streets of Montreal barefoot late at night after an evening at the Just for Laughs festival - which is what happened to me last year when my sandal completely removed itself from its sole.
But sometimes I forget there's an emergency pair and stick another pair in.
Last week we were shopping and I couldn't find my wallet - and while rummaging through my purse John spots 2 pairs of shoes in there.
John says - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH 2 PAIRS OF SHOES IN YOUR PURSE?
Suzan says - Shhhh - they're emergency shoes.
John says - What exactly are emergency shoes?
Suzan says - Don't be coy - you know what they are
John says - No I don't really -
Suzan says - It's in case my sandal breaks - remember that night when I had to walk barefoot?
John says - So what's the second pair for ?
Suzan says - You can never be over prepared when it comes to shoes John - never - what if the second pair broke too?
John says - Why don't you just bring a suitcase on wheels when you go out - that way you can keep extra sets of clothes as well in case you spill something on them.
_________________________________________________________________________________
I very reluctantly type up this paragraph - because to complain about summer when you live in a 4 climate temperature zone seems almost sacreligious but.......................we've been having a crappy one.
Saturday, July 18, 2015, 5:10 PM -
Heat and humidity is a guarantee this weekend across southern Ontario and Quebec, with Sunday poised to be the most oppressive day as temperatures reach the 30s while Humidex values approach ridiculous.
Last weekend was horrible ! "Approaching ridiculous" reads over 100 degrees for you Americans........
I don't know what to do any more - I hate the extreme cold and I hate the extreme heat.................and we get far too much of both of them here. Moving further North is out of the question ( like Alaska ) because winters would be even colder and moving further South would mean summers would be even hotter.
Quite the dilemma wouldn't you agree? Oh and I don't like Fall because it means Winter is right around the corner..............so I've only got Spring left now. One lousy season. I wonder if there's anywhere on the planet where it's Spring year long? That's where I'm meant to be _________________________________________________________________________________
Someone approached me a few weeks ago about taking a photo shoot of my home. ( Montreal magazines )
After I laughed for 10 full minutes - I had to graciously decline ................this house in a magazine? Unless there's a magazine titled WHAT TO BE CAREFUL OF WHEN BUYING A FIXER UPPER
Dear God !
WHY WHY WHY didn't they come to me when I was at my last house - a Victorian beauty in the heart of the city?
Of course not !
That's not the particular path my life follows ...............there's the easy way and than there's Suzan's way.
I always seems to be just a hop skip and a jump away from that yellow brick road !
_________________________________________________________________________________
Donald Trump On John McCain's War Record: 'I Like People Who Weren't Captured'
Isn't that something? Coming from a man who didn't serve?
I like people who know what the word R.E.S.P.E.C.T. means.
Keep up your twitter wars Mr Trump.............you come across as the most immature spoiled egomaniac on the planet at this point.
You're in it to win it?
Try thinking a minute
Before you open your mouth.
Which reminds me of one of my favorite expressions
" It's best to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool - then to speak and remove all doubt "
_________________________________________________________________________________
When David Sweat and Richard Matt broke out of prison they left a note in front of the sewer they escaped from.
And a lot of headlines read
" Escaped convicts leave racist cartoon behind "
REALLY?
Has the world gone mad with political correctness or what?
Do all Asians have buck teeth? Of course not.................
Do all white people have pointed chins and eyes that cover half of their faces and are spread apart like Bessie the cow and mouths that couldn't even comfortably accommodate a pea - the way we're portrayed by Asian cartoons? Of course not.............
Everyone needs to focus on real racism and not look for it when it's not there. This is just a waste of everyone's time and completely ridiculous
_______________________________________________________________________________
Our new stove arrived.
The legs had to be adjusted................
John grabbed the wrench - got down on the floor - and was still working on the first leg a half hour later when I walked into the kitchen.
John says - THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE )*%$)(#* LEGS !
Suzan says - There's nothing wrong with the legs John
John says - Well we'll have to call someone to come in and do it - they make it too difficult.
Suzan says - WE ARE NOT CALLING IN A CONTRACTOR TO ADJUST THE LEGS ON A STOVE
OMG - how embarrassing. Can you imagine paying someone to come do that? And he would !
Suzan says - It's not complicated - I don't underst-
John interrupts - John says - HERE MISS KNOW IT ALL -
YOU TRY - YOU NEVER BELIEVE ME
And he left the room.
I got down on the floor and was just finishing adjusting the 2 front legs when he walked back in.
John says - Here - give me the damn wrench - I'll do the 2 back ones..............
Suzan says - Are you sure? I don't mind
John says - Just give it to me
to which he promptly turned until the leg fell out completely - he tried to catch it - missed and cursed as it rolled across the ( slanted ) kitchen floor and disappeared.
I had to run into the mud room because I didn't want him to hear me laughing..................sometimes it just isn't appropriate, you know?
Or safe.
He had a wrench in his hand.
Later on
John says - I'm not an appliance man, you know
Does that mean I'm an appliance woman?
_________________________________________________________________________________
I think I'm going to add a grocery story to these Friday Chats ................
I'm not allowed to do the groceries -
I've very seriously been banned...............it was hard at first ( but I've grown to love it to be very honest with you )
So.............I make a list and off Mr. Wood goes to get the groceries.
Most of you know that John has a hard time with my lists - so this week when I saw these on sale
I asked him to come to the computer to SEE exactly what I wanted -
I said the word LIME-A-RITA at least 4 times - thinking if I said it out loud it would register when he saw it.
I explained that it was like a Margarita - I made him look at the Margarita glass on the box.
I wrote down on the list :
1 CASE OF BUD LIGHT LIME-A-RITA - MAKE SURE IT'S LIME-A-RITA PLEASE
IT SAYS MARGARITA WITH A TWIST ON THE BOX - THANKS !
and when I was completely confident that he knew what to get - I.handed the list to him and waited for him to get home with the groceries - anticipating a cold glass of the above.
He came home with this
John says - I don't know why it showed it with a Margarita glass in the flyer - it doesn't have them on it at all.
Suzan says -
THAT WOULD BE BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T GET THE LIME-A-RITA !!!!!!!!!!
John says - It's the same bloody thing !
OMG - this goes on with at least 3 to 4 items every single week !
I don't even like Bud Light - it was the lime-a-rita that was appealing to me !
So if you want to stop by this weekend...............
This bud's for
YOU
Have a wonderful day one and all !
Much love
Me
XOX
