Monday, July 16, 2012

Meet the Parents Part deux

Ok - you are not ready for this..................

Every thing was ready - candles were lit - table was set - potatoes were roasting in the oven - carrots were being braised - chick pea salad was soaking up all that yummy garlic - baguettes were cut - and the meat............ ( steaks - pork tenderloin - and Italian sausage ) were all set to go,
My line up of jazz music was playing in the background, fresh flowers were cut.
My makeup was on - nails were done - I was completely ready ( no small feat ) the grill was turned on and had just reached the right temperature when they arrived.
Now apparently they eat early so we wanted to put everything on when they got there.

And I was actually feeling smug at this point - wow - there's nothing I can't do - just leave it to me and............

I hear a frantic SUZAN - COME HERE PLEASE - followed by my son -  Mom I think you'd better come into the kitchen, just as the "parents" arrive on our doorstep - I left my daughter to greet them and went running into the kitchen to see John holding the tray of meat COVERED IN GRASS AND DIRT
AND ROCKS AND WHATEVER ELSE COULD STICK TO THE MARINADE!!!!!!!!!!!! ( probably squirrel shit because we live in a squirrel Wally World )
He brought the tray of meat outside - put it on the side panel of the grill which immediately collapsed from the weight of so much meat and which he promptly thrust into my hands.

Oh My God - Oh My God - Oh My God - PANIC BEYOND BELIEF - and here I was holding
this tray of a melange of filthy meat as they walked into the kitchen to join us.

Hope you're into Organic Food - was my feeble attempt at a joke - and because I think I was a nervous wreck I commenced into fits of hysterics - that uncontrollable laughter where you almost choke to death - doubled over - tears - the whole thing...............while my daughter - her boyfriend - and his parents kind of
just stood there politely looking at me - sort of - kind of - smiling.  My son grabbed the platter from me and said " it's ok Mom - I'll wash everything " and that's how the evening started. can't make this stuff up.

Oh - and wearing one of the napkin diamond rings was funny - the first time I did it
( yup - forgot I did it - and did it again towards the end of the evening ) same line even.
Can  you say rehearsed?
There's nothing worse than planned humour - it has to be spontaneous, don't you think, lol

and apparently I talk while I'm eating ( I never never never shut up so I guess I do )
but I can see my daughter trying to get my attention a few times until finally she calls me to the side
and says...................
( I'm dying repeating this - really I am ) Mom, there's too much food showing when you talk
Oh dear God - I'm 53 - and this sort of thing is something that would mortify me if I saw someone
else doing it - really - it would disgust me - this is far far worse than parsley stuck in a tooth.
Please tell me you're joking Linz -
No Mom. my Son pipes in laughing , you do that
and Linz says, Actually I never noticed it before - Tony was the one that mentioned it to me.

You know what Linz - I don't want you marrying him - I mean I love him and all - but there's no
room in my family for him if he's going to be spreading stories like this about me.................

And as they left - I thought
Y'all come back now, you hear?

John says - I think it went really well, don't  you?
Suzan says - Do you see food in my mouth when I'm talking?

I'm off to practise my social eating skills - and all I can say is it has to be the wine - there just is
no way I would do this normally -
I'm too much of a lady.


True Random Number Generator  6Powered by RANDOM.ORG
That would make it you Pat!!!!!

Send me an email with all your details and I'll ship it out to you asap
don't know why it says 1 - 100 - I put in 1 to 12 - but when I copied and pasted it
it came back to 100 by default.



  1. Oh my, what a nerve racking evening. I know how stressed out I was the first time I met my daughter's boyfriend - meeting the parents takes it to a whole new level. I love how you keep such a great sense of humor :)

  2. Susan, Susan, are too much! So entertaining! You are a wonderful person even with food showing. I am sure they loved you and your humor.
    Well, my days are comin too... my daughter is too embarrassed to even have her NY friends stay over in our 60's bungalow, so your one up!!!
    I say: Well it ain't no mansion but I am just darn lucky I have a house.
    I am sure the Organic seasoning was delish! Your table looked spectacular and that diamond...well, you know what they say? It's a "girls best friend". As long as the evening ended without you having a conversation with the rock, then all is good!

  3. Oh the things that keep us humble! LOL
    Loved the post.

  4. Suzan,
    Remember in my last reply me saying to stay out of the wine bottle, I say these things for a reason.
    Organic Food~I just about fell out of my chair when I read that one. Too funny!
    Sounds like you all made some memories, that's all that counts~Right?
    Have a fabulous day. :0)

  5. I'm glad that went so very well! I can't wait until you host the trousseau tea or, better yet, the wedding itself! lmao on this one. ~ Maureen

  6. Oh Susan! LOL, LOL, LOL!!!! Organic meat, my favourite! Could have been worse, they could have been vegetarian...

    Yup, wine will do it to you every time... but it helps us cope.

    I'm sure you're being modest and everyone had a fantastic time.

  7. OMG I'm sorry to be laughing, but that is the funniest story ever! Th "organic food" joke was hilarious. I'm quite certain they loved you :)

  8. OMG - I'm 50 and just about wet myself laughing at your story!

  9. Well, when there is a shower, tea, rehearsal and wedding I am going to put on Depends before I check in here! ;-) Great story and I'm sure they loved you.

    I'm so excited to be a winner! Yay for me, right? I will email you the info. Thanks a million for having this.

    P.S. I always have difficulty transferring the info to my blog too. We need to find someone to help us!

  10. I'm doubled over with laughter! Only truth can be this funny.
    I love your writing style (see, you do have style). Thanks so much for visiting. I'm following along to here more of your adventures!

  11. What a great story! I love those white artichokes at your table. Beautiful. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Now your follower as well.

  12. Yep, sounds like my dinner parties, sugar. I just suck it up and pretend all is well.

  13. Thanks so much for linking at last weeks Wednesdays Adorned From Above Link Party. I didn't even realize that there was a part 2 until just now.

  14. Oh my gosh, this is classic! I noticed no one would touch the I see food when you're talking... well let me say, my 8 year old has the same problem. Now I can tell him if he doesn't conquer this problem now, he might end up in a blog post when he's 53. I really need to go back and read your older blog posts... so much I need to know! Haha! Have a great weekend!

  15. LOL!!! I bet the in-laws love you. I would have been mortified if the meat fell, oh my gosh. The organic line is hysterical. They probably loved you from that very second on.


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