Good morning everyone !
Can I get you a coffee, tea, Sangria?
John says - Why are there 2 jugs of Sangria on the kitchen counter
Suzan says - Because I like Sangria
John says - Don't you usually make your own?
Suzan says - Yes, but I liked these jugs
John says - Pardon me?
Suzan says - I like the jugs - I'm going to do something with them when they're empty
John says - You bought the sangria for the bottles ?
John says - This craziness has to stop
Suzan says - What craziness? I love Sangria and I love jugs - it's a win/win for me !
If they sold wine in the shape of a golf ball I can guarantee you there'd be a couple of those sitting on the counter as well.
So if you'd like a glass of Sangria just say the word..................
I need to buy another one ( 3 the magic number is always 3 ) help yourself to as many glasses as you'd like
I was watching a movie the other night and there was a scene where the couple woke up - first thing in the morning and started deeply kissing.
It was a very romantic scene but all I could think of was bad breath.
I mean it's one thing when you've just brushed your teeth and the Director says " Action " but it's another thing completely in real life............
Soda loves things that stink
I'm not sure if all dogs do but she REALLY does.
She'd crawl IN my mouth first thing in the morning - really
Sprinkle some parmigiana cheese on her food and her tail starts wagging with gratitude.
Take her for a walk and she's almost dancing with glee if someone hasn't bothered to pick up their dog's mess.
These are the little things she lives for.
The other day John came home and .................
John says - WHAT ARE MY SHOES DOING OUTSIDE ON THE STEP?
Suzan says - They stink !
John says - THEY DO NOT STINK - AND I DON'T WANT THEM OUTSIDE
John says - I use them for yard work - and I don't want rain making them soaking wet
Suzan says- Maybe the rain will remove the stink
John says - THEY DO NOT STINK
Later on that day - after mowing - he jumped in the pool - leaving his shoes by the table outside.
And if that's not proof enough I don't know what is........................she actually stayed like that while I ran upstairs to get the camera -
It's like " crack " for her - she's addicted.
John says - Soda - what are you doing you silly dog ?
Suzan says - Your shoes stink.................
John says - MY SHOES DO NOT STINK
and then Soda took a nap
on shoes that apparently smell like roses.
I had a terrible nightmare the other night.
You know, the kind that makes going back to sleep impossible.
I woke John up - frantically upset.
Suzan says - O.M.G. John - I just had the most horrifying nightmare
John says - What time is it?
Suzan says - I don't know - ( almost in tears ) but this was maybe the worst one I've ever had
John says - half sitting up - What was it about ?
Suzan says - I CAN'T TELL YOU ! I CAN NEVER SPEAK ABOUT THIS NIGHTMARE TO ANYONE !
John says - Why the hell did you wake me up then?
Suzan says - Because I needed to talk about it - except I can't
John says - Where's my phone?
Suzan says - What do you need your phone for?
John says - I'm calling them
Suzan says - WHO?
John says - The people that come to a house with straight jackets
John says - You need some time away dear
John says - It's for your own good.
Suzan says - OK - FINE - I'LL TELL YOU - YOU DIED IN MY NIGHTMARE !
John says - I'm not surprised - you're killing me slowly anyway with your craziness..............
John says - Did I fall down the stairs?
And just like that - I burst out laughing - the nightmare temporarily forgotten.
When we first moved in this place - John fell down the stairs a couple of times.
It's a narrow staircase - with a sharp turn halfway - scary stuff
The first time it happened - I leaned over the top railing - screaming
OMG - ARE YOU OK?
He didn't answer me - which made me assume he had died upon landing on the floor.
I stood up there screaming my fool head off for 5 minutes instead of actually going downstairs to see if he was ok ( or dead )
Finally he replied...............asking me to please SHUT UP
I'm not good in emergencies.
We've been having a heat wave here in Montreal - and so the water evaporates in the pool ( sometimes a couple of inches a day ) I decided to slip the hose into it to fill it. And then I started painting the desk and promptly forgot about it.
John comes home.
John says - There's water leaking down the street
Suzan says - Did a pipe break?
John says - I don't know - but there's a ton of it in front of our driveway
Suzan says - Well maybe we should call the city?
John walks in the backyard.
John yells - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING BACK HERE - THE POOL IS FLOODING
Suzan says - Oh look how pretty it looks - it looks like an infinity pool !!!
Suzan says- Well we don't have to water now !
John says - If that had been me - it would have been all over your blog - bet you don't mention it when YOU do it , do you?
To be honest with you I don't want the heatwave to break .............at. all.
Because once it does than Fall is right around the corner.
And once Fall is right around the corner than Winter is right around the next one.
John says - It's only August - why are you worried about winter now?
Suzan says - fretfully - because I know it's coming..................
John loves bananas - they're probably his favorite fruit.
We were out of them the other morning.
John says - Did you eat the last banana?
Suzan says - Nope - maybe one of the kids did yesterday
John says - I'll have to go pick some up
Suzan belts out - YES - WE HAVE NO BANANAS - WE HAVE NO BANANA'S TODAY
WE'VE STRING BE-----
John interrupts - CAN YOU STOP ALREADY? DOES EVERY CONVERSATION HAVE TO END IN A SONG? IT'S LIKE LIVING WITH ETHEL MERMAN FOR CHRIST' SAKES !
As he left to get his almighty fruit - I followed him to the door singing
" I'm a chiquita banana and I'm here to say ♫ ♪ ♫ "
John says - I'm not coming back............................
So if you see a man sitting on a park bench all alone - eating bananas you'll know it's John.
I know I keep mentioning Donald Trump on my Friday chats - but I'm fascinated with how all of this is unfolding.
Until this week.
He said something that I found myself nodding in agreement over.
Time to go hang myself I think because as insane as John thinks I am.....................when I start agreeing with anything the Trump says - it probably IS time to have myself committed.
Just a short stay - nothing long term ..........................
You all have a wonderful day everyone !
I'll be by the pool sipping on Sangria's.
A lot of them.