Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts

Saturday, February 16, 2013

If John and I were Lovebirds..................

love birds, humour,funny,jokes

love birds, humour,

love birds,humour

Yeah, we're just a couple of love birds

John is in the shower singing
I'll fly away, Oh Glory 
I'll fly away (in the morning) 
Have a wonderful weekend all!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

The Crown Jewels

Some more smoke and mirrors for you ........................
When I was staging my Mother's house for sell - I went over budget - and was left with no choice but to accessorize here and there with items I found at the dollar store - some of which I decided I wanted to keep.

This was one of them

It's hanging high enough on the wall that you can't tell it's made of plastic ( hopefully not anyway )
And I placed it inside a simple white frame box.

John says - why are you dragging a dining room chair around?
Suzan says - I have to take a picture of my " bust "
John says - Pardon me?
Suzan says - I have to take a picture of my " bust "
John says - Oh God - please don't tell me you're posting about your breast reduction
OF MY OWN BUST??????????????????
Suzan says - Sometime you act like a big " boob "
Suzan says - Sometimes you make no sense at all
Suzan says - Sometimes you drive me nuts, absolutely
John says - HAH - that's rich my dear - that's rich
John says - Why don't you turn that thing around and show everyone what happened when you dropped it?

and this is where I plan to hide my crown jewels ( when I acquire them that is )

Now looking at it I think it's a brilliant idea really - I should go stock up on them - drop them all on the floor
and sell them as the perfect hiding spaces for jewellery!

Suzan says - Can I have your TAG watches John for a couple of minutes?
John says - WHY?
Suzan says - I just want to put them in the back of this " bust " so I have a photo to show something valuable hiding in it.
John says - NO you cannot put my TAG watches in the back of a dollar store broken ornament.
John says - END of discussion period.......................

What do you think?  Good idea?  Am I on to something?
Much better than your typical " book " safe, I would say

From Michael's if anyone is interested - pretty isn't it?
My crown jewels would never fit inside that puny thing anyway
My crown jewels are life sized so I'd need something like this to accommodate them

 they'd have waterfront property at least!

Y'all have yourselves a wonderful first weekend of the year now, y'hear?
( I really hate posting photos of my kids - just because of all the creepy sites out there )
( probably for the same reasons I was terrified to let them out of my sight for 20 years )
( I was the most overbearing - stifling - neurotic - mother on the planet - and THAT's the truth )
( have to work on these issues I have )

John says - well now that you've told everyone where you plan to hide things I would never consider
putting my watches in that head anyway - what's the point?

So if any of you were even considering hopping on a plane to Montreal - to break into our home - and go straight to the shattered head in hopes of finding John's watches - really - you'd just be wasting your time.
Except for Caroline from Piorra Maison - she's been here already - have you checked to make sure your
watches are still there John ?

Cost for this project?  $1.00
My crown jewels?  Priceless

Sharing with
I Should be Mopping the Floor
Uncommon Designs
My Uncommon Slice of Suburbia
Home Stories A to Z
Knick of Time
Kathe with an E
The Rustic Pig
Life on Lakeshore Drive
Creative Cain Cabin

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

To cuss or not to cuss.................

That is the question......................

I was not going to post my thoughts on this because I really don't want to offend anybody - but hey - it's a fact of life - a lot of us different degrees of course - but I really just can't imagine doing furniture all day - and all of the mishaps that that entails without letting a few of them slip under my breath.

I mean how can " Oh Dear " cover the anguish and despair of half a tin of paint spilling on to the floor.
How can " Dang it " ever possibly convey the gut wrenching pain of stubbing your toe against a dresser that's
in the middle of the room because it's being worked on?
How can " Oh Oh! " ever - in a million years - describe forgetting to put clear wax on BEFORE applying the dark wax. 
And " for goodness sakes " just doesn't make the cloth when you've spelled something wrong on a Subway Dresser and only realize it after it's completely finished.................
This business calls for - insists actually - that we let a few of them out now and then or quite frankly I think we would explode - 
But the problem with that is it sometimes spills over into our everyday life as well.
And then it becomes verbal gas - something that just slips out when you least expect it - and you're left having to murmur a meek " excuse me - I don't know where that came from " as your eyes dart all over the
room - actually it's worse because in this case you can't say " what are you looking at, that certainly didn't come from me"?

Which brings me to the reason I am writing this post.

John went to the bank today and was standing behind 2 elderly ladies - his guess would be that they were in their late 80's - dressed to the hilt - hair coiffed - beautifully manicured - jewels hanging from anywhere jewels can hang from - heels - the whole shebang - you've got the picture, right?
Now here's the conversation

- So tell me, have you sold your place in Florida?
and the whispered reply
- Yes I did - but I think they F_ _ _ed me.................

There you go -
My guess would be she worked on furniture most of her life.


Sharing with

House TalkN