Showing posts with label cracked heels. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cracked heels. Show all posts

Monday, January 7, 2013

I crack myself up


             WARNING: IF YOU ARE HAVING A SNACK - PUT IT DOWN IMMEDIATELY

Is this a photo of an old man's bald head?
Nah
Is it a photo of head cheese ( just the name of that cheese can make me gag by the way )
Nah
Is it a so far un named planet?
Nah

Can you guess what it is?

It's the heel of my foot........................a magnified close up
Disgusting beyond belief isn't it?  Go on, you can say it - I won't be offended - after all I'm doing this for you!
I beg your pardon - I never promised you a rose garden after all.
Life isn't all rose petals and butterflies don't you know - there's some ugly in there too lol
And unless I do this every single night of my life in the winter that is what the heels of my feet look like.
I saw an ad just before Christmas on foot balm - and the idea for this post came to me

John says - how come you haven't been putting socks on at night lately?
Suzan says - I want to blog about what happens when I don't treat my feet for a few weeks.
John says - you're going to make people sick
Suzan says - thank you John - thank you very much
John says - well you know what happens to your feet in the winter when you don't treat them
Suzan says - YES I DO KNOW ACTUALLY
Suzan says - that's why I'm posting about it - so people can see how quickly my secret magic works.
Suzan says - there may be someone out there who has this condition and doesn't know simple it is to fix.
John says - so now you're going to have a medical section on your blog?
John says - don't come near me with those things in bed

John's feet don't do this - EVER - not fair.......................
If I go 2 or 3 weeks without treating them in the winter my feet look like they belong on the HULK............
as you can see for yourself.
I stopped " treating them " a few days before Christmas - specifically so I could show you how to repair them - ( just in case anyone else out there was blessed with this type of affliction )

A bottle of glycerine ( in it's pure form )


you simply pour some on a puma stone

and you scrub away..................
making sure the glycerine is deeply saturated into your heels
and then put on a thick pair of socks - if you do this right after a bath at night it's best - than you simply
hop into bed with your socks on and let the glycerine work it's magic

True story! Once I was walking in Paris with someone else from Montreal - and they told me they had a terrible problem with cracked heels ( long before I had mine ) and that the only cream that seemed to work
was one she had found in Paris - and I remember thinking " wow - that's a long way to travel to fix a foot problem!!! "
Guarantee you my solution is quicker - cheaper - ( the savings on air fare alone are worth it I would think )  and closer to home - all pharmacies carry this product.............

John just walked in the office.  Once again I'm considering buying myself some of these



John says - ( I swear to God - I'm seriously going to pee myself )
Standing behind me and looking at the first photo  - Oh!  Is that a photo of an ice cream cone?
Suzan says - No - it's a photo of my heel -
John says - OMG - DO NOT show people that Suzan - Please, for God's Sakes, it's disgusting,  Ugghh - that's absolutely disgusting ( I wish you could see the facial expression of horror which goes with this )
John says - ( while I'm screaming with laughter ) Pity you can't do an audio of your " cackle "
John says - I hope they're not having a snack or something when they read your post
John says - it's enough to make people vomit, you know
Suzan says - Again, Thank you John, Thank you very much ( but that's why I went back to the beginning and put up a warning for you )
Suzan says- You thought it looked like ice cream a minute ago
John says - Do NOT come near me with those things in bed
Suzan says - I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME YOU SAID THAT
Suzan says - You can always sleep on the couch until this is over you know
John says - How long is it going to take? ugghhh - that's really disgusting - how can you show people that?
Suzan says - 3 days - tops - take a blanket with you

After 1 day


I'm still not allowed to touch John with these puppies - but getting better ( like my furry socks? )

John says - Some furniture makeover blog you have there Suzan
John says - people are going to google before and after shots to see furniture and your
ugly foot is going to be staring them in the face
Suzan says - Leave me alone already
Suzan says - I'm going to do a post on your bald spot if you don't stop this nonsense
John says - I tell our fabric customers that you have a nice post on furniture makeovers
John says - And I actually give them the name of your blog so they can come see it themselves
John says - omg - I hope Simon ( Chang ) doesn't come by your blog
John says - you really have no pride at all, do you?
John says - I'm not telling anybody else about your blog - really - that's it for me
John says - how in God's name can you not be embarassed by this - if any of our customers mention this to
me, I'll die

After 2 days


it's harder than you think to take a proper photo of your heels - I was like a contortionist trying to do it,
but you can see how quickly this stuff works!

Day 3 ( why oh why didn't I leave the dates on the photos?  stupid! but please take my word for it, this
only took 3 days )



Keep in mind - you have to do this every single night - and I know this does not happen to every one ( I'm the only one I know that has it this severe ) but I have a friend who's fingertips crack and bleed in the winter!
A little bit of glycerine would go a long way..................

I am almost tempted to not post this - John's probably right this time - so read it quickly - I just may delete it after today.

Suzan says - Can I take a photo of your heels?
John says - Buzz off
Suzan says - just your heels - that's it - just your heels
John says - I mean it, buzz off -
Suzan says - WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ON YOUR FOOT?
John says - a corn pad
Suzan says - ugghh  - that's disgusting.................
Suzan says - don't come near me in bed with that thing!

John says - Do you think you can paint a dresser?  What's next? A post on your bunion?