That while I was hanging them
John would appear............
It's too much he would say
As he always does.........
And I'd have to remove them
Why? just because...................
But lo and behold - ( and believe it or not )
He liked them !
He loved them !
In fact quite a lot !
And I was so happy that there was no " rift "
That I let him eat cookies I made as a gift.............
12 miniature stockings for 7.99 !
The perfect size to stick a candy cane and a gift card in !
I've NEVER had my baking done so early before - ( and this is the second weekend of baking because I totally messed up the first time ) I'm usually frantically baking right up until the night before. For some reason things are going a little too smoothly in this house - I'm terrified that something's right around the corner - just waiting to burst my bubble LOL !!!
No snow.............last year we got it in the knick of time.
This year we had a sprinkling that lasted one afternoon and they're saying there won't be any for Christmas
No snow for Christmas?
In Montreal?
They're calling for 11 to 12 degrees celcius today ( that's roughly 52 degrees for you Americans ) and though I realize this may be considered cold - even freezing to some of you - it's absolutely balmy to me.
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Now keep that temperature in mind for a second.
And keep in mind that ANYONE living in Montreal KNOWS that's really warm for the month of December here.
We were out shopping this week.
At a mall.
And that means parking.
And you all know exactly what I mean by that when it's a couple of weeks before Christmas.
We would be waiting by a spot and watch people just zoom in and steal it -
John says - THOSE BASTARDS !
Suzan says - You know - it's Christmas - let it go.
After 3 times of this I thought John would blow a gasket - really I did.
We were just pulling into a spot when a woman pulled up behind us.............and BEGGED us ( she literally said " I'm begging you "
" I have to pick up my son in one hour and this is the only hour I have to pick up his Christmas gift "
John yells out - 3 people have already stolen my spot - we've got shopping to do too lady
She gave it one last attempt - and begged us again...............and guess what perseverance gets you?
Yup..............we pulled out and gave it to her.
By this time John was red in the face and I was getting a little impatient too...............and then finally
THANK YOU GOD - we ended up in front of a spot a few feet from the entrance way - you couldn't find a better spot really.
As we pulled in - a car pulled up beside us -
Woman says - Hey that's my spot !
John says - We were here with our flasher on before you pulled up
Woman says - But I have a baby in the car
John says - Listen - we've given up 4 spots - it's the luck of the draw
Woman says - C'mon - I have a baby in the car and it's freezing outside
( that's why I wanted you to remember the temperatures - it's as far from freezing as you could ever want to get in Montreal in December )
John says - Sorry as he locks the car up
Woman screams out - OH MY GOD - YOU ARE HORRIBLE PEOPLE !!!
Now this is why choices are so important in life.
I had 2 of them.
I could have walked up to her car - and screamed in her face - WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL US? - and then quickly slapped her face. ( which to my shame is exactly what I wanted to do )
Or I could have pretended I just didn't hear anything. ( which is what I did )
But my heart was thumping with indignation.
As I crossed the road a lady pulled up and reassured us that she saw the whole thing and that we had been there first - but it didn't matter - my day was ruined.
All I can do is pray in miracles and hope she reads my blog - so that she knows that I personally feel she's a horrible person to say such a thing.
I have kids - I shopped for them in blizzards for crying out loud ! In thunder storms - in hail - sleet and snow
( hey wait a minute Mr. Postman )
AND I never once thought that I was more important than anyone else because of it............
Ok - that's done.
This is why online shopping is so appealing to me by the way
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In other news............I've been doing everything wrong my entire life.
Every. Single. Week. there's an article on something I was taught to do one way and how it's completely wrong.
I mean there's a ton of things I know - I just know - through experience that I HAVE done wrong.
But apparently I eat wrong ( that includes the actual act of chewing as well )
Exercise wrong ( when I do - which is seldom - and that's wrong but I already knew that )
Dress wrong
Apply make up wrong
Do laundry wrong
Show affection wrong
Dance wrong
Decorate wrong
Renovate wrong.
Choose shoes wrong.
Make decisions wrong
Walk wrong.
Run wrong.
Wear my hair wrong.
Getting out of bed wrong.
Showering wrong.
Bathing wrong.
Moisturizing wrong.
Even giving to charity - yup - I'm going about it the wrong way.
It would appear - by reading the experts - that my entire life is wrong.............
And I even bake wrong.
No I really do.
Remember last weekend when I baked the entire weekend long?
Well ALL the cookies came out very crumbly.
I couldn't figure it out because I had followed all the instructions so closely !
Until I realized I had replaced the baking powder with corn starch.
Don't ask.
Just don't ask 'k?
Guess what I'm doing ( again ) this weekend?
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You couldn't make up the conversations John and I have - even if you were a script writer with all kinds of awards on your shelf - you simply couldn't make them up.
We were watching a movie the other night - with Sally Fields - keep her name in mind - it's important.
It was called.
PLACES IN THE HEART.
It takes place in 1935 - keep that date in mind - it's important.
As usual I was up and down throughout the movie - making tea - getting snacks etc.
Upon coming back
John says - That guy looks an awful lot like John Malkovich
Suzan says - It IS John Malkovich
John says - Don't be ridiculous
Suzan says - I'm telling you it's him
John says - Oh for crying out loud - he wasn't even born then..........................
I'll let that sink in for a minute or two.
Suzan says - WELL HOW OLD DO YOU THINK SALLY FIELDS IS - 125?
Suzan says - You know Hollywood is a fascinating thing - they can make movies that take place in the 1930's when in real time it could be the year 2000 !!!
John says - Always the smart ass...............
NOTE TO SELF - bypass Cleopatra and Ben Hur completely when seeing them on the t.v. menu.
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I'm not sure how many of you know that I had lunch with John Malkovich in Paris...............
No - I really did !
You can read about it HERE
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Every time I open the garbage can to put something in it - there's something in there I have to take out - wash and put in recycling.
We have a lot of discussions about this.
Daily.
I don't find it a terrible amount of work to wash out a piece of plastic and put it in recycling -
At. all.
When I consider what plastic is doing to the planet I feel it's the very least I can do really.
John thinks it's absurd and that I go overboard with it.
You all know how much he loves his peanuts, right?
So he usually takes a plastic bag and sits with the nuts in his lap and peels the shell into the bag.
Then the bag and the shells get dumped in the garbage.
And Suzan goes in and removes it - dumps the shells in composting and the bag in recycling.
I reminded him this week to please please please recycle the bag.
Whereupon he dumped the entire thing into the recycling bin.
Peanut shells and all.
Suzan says - WTH? Why are there peanut shells in the recycling bin?
John says - YOU TOLD ME TO DO IT !
Suzan says - No - I said the plastic
John says - Peanut shells are recyclable !
Suzan says - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
Suzan says - They have to go in compost
John says - It's all too complicated - it's just ridiculous to have to put so much thought into rubbish
( there's his " British " coming out again - he calls the garbage - " rubbish " )
Suzan says - It's not complicated at all - OMG - just separate them
John says - Listen - I'm not running all over the kitchen for an hour because of a bag of peanuts for God's sakes ..................
Why he just won't buy shelled peanuts I have no idea.
I give up
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We went out for a bite to eat after shopping.
There was a particular restaurant I wanted to go to ............it's a chain so they're all over the city.
John says - I have no idea where it is
Suzan says - I think it's in Fairview shopping center
John says - No it's not - I don't know where it is but it's definitely NOT there.
And so we drove around for 45 minutes or so looking for this place.
I finally called my daughter
Lindsay says - It's in Fairview shopping center.
Did I mention that's where we were originally.
WE LEFT THE MALL - WHERE I THOUGHT THE RESTAURANT WAS AND DROVE FOR 45 MINUTES ONLY TO HAVE TO COME BACK FROM WHERE WE STARTED.
Suzan says - Why don't you ever listen to me?
John says - What are you talking about ?
Suzan says - I TOLD you I thought it was here
John says - No you didn't.
One day at a time, Sweet Jesus, that's all I'm asking of you.........................
Have a wonderful weekend everyone !
Much love to all of you
I'm off to pick peanut shells out of the recycling ................
One shell at a time. Sweet Jesus.
A busy month indeed !
Working on this today.............
and in the " wings "
A couple of end tables
And the below piece - It's not my choice - at all - but does anyone else see it in RED?
I don't know what the entire room looks like - but with what I can make out of those creamy couches I can so envision a splash of red to offset it !
Red - with dark wax to " antique " it................change out the knobs.
The below living room is just gorgeous - and that red dresser in it is perfection !
Look up !
You know - that place where normal people would place curtains?
I use it for storage !
Above the door
On the door
and on the sides of the door
That door doesn't get used much in the winter...........if at all.
It was only a matter of time because when I see a door I automatically see storage after all
It's not a designer kitchen - not by far - but someone came in last week and mentioned that it looked like the
happiest kitchen they'd ever seen. And that compliment came from a man ! He said it looked like the kitchen of someone who loved to cook.
I'll take that !
A happy kitchen is one of the nicest compliments I've ever gotten
I mean if I can't have a designer one - than that's the next best thing !
John - who hasn't banged into anything yet - and he's 6 foot 1 - says :
" maybe you should put a clearance sign like they put for tunnels on the road."
But that isn't the look I'm going for at all.................
( you can see the transformation of the kitchen here from the studs up :)
Have a wonderful day everyone !
Much love,
Hugs too
Me
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Or Berry Kisses
Or as the world generally calls it - Port Wine Stains.
Which is an awful name - you'd think with all the politically correct nonsense out there someonewould call that one out.
I've probably never uttered the word in my life - now I simply call it Cranberry Kisses which I kind of - sort of stole from my daughter Ashley who calls them berry kisses.
This post took awhile.
First because Ashley wasn't ready to share..............and then because I didn't quite know how to write it up.
It's a sensitive subject and slightly awkward because the last thing I want to do is give the wrong impression here.........or insult anyone else who was born with this and perhaps still has it.
It's a birthmark............nothing more - nothing less - just a birthmark.
But's a birthmark that can have serious repercussions such as Sturge-Weber Syndrome
Upon first seeing Evan's little face I fell apart - to my eternal shame - I fell apart and started sobbing.
I had no idea what it was and was terrified that it meant something serious..
Ashley was still in the recovery room ( she had an emergency c-section ) and my heart ached because she hadn't even seen this beautiful little creature yet and I didn't want her to be upset or scared.
Is he the cutest little thing or what?
I look at him now and I don't even see those " kisses "
Or rather I DO see them but I see them through different eyes.
All I see is this uniquely beautiful little face -
This uniquely little body of perfection..................
with a birth mark.
I'm writing this post up because Ashley and Chris have opted for laser treatment to have it removed and the best results come when you start it as early as possible.
They didn't want him to start school with anything that could cause ridicule from other children and cause self esteem issues.............and because these " stains " can change over the years - become a purplish color with an actual " texture " to them - the pediatrician highly recommended they take this route.
He's already had 2 treatments - with the third one scheduled for next week.
We are so blessed in that one of the most highly renowned doctors in this field is right here in Montreal.
We are doubly blessed in that it's covered by Medicare.
And so I wanted to start some kind of journal on the progress..........
Ashley's been taking as many pics as she possibly can because as she says - " this is Evan's beautiful face - the one he was born with "
And there's some guilt involved with changing that.
Evan's is considered a " stubborn " one............in that it's on the darker side so we have no idea how many treatments it will take.
Some take a year - some take several years and some take many years
But the end results are quite amazing.
In a lot of cases it disappears completely or at the very least so faded that you wouldn't know it was there unless you looked very very closely. There's some examples here LASER AND SKIN SURGERY CENTER OF NEW YORK
My little hunk - a hunk.........of burning love
He has an army standing behind him who feel so thankful and grateful for him -
Every Thanksgiving should have cranberry kisses ......................
And pumpkin pie.
I'll keep you all updated on the progress -
Ok Evan - now you've met a lot of Lolly's friends - say bye-bye sweetheart !
Could you just about melt to pieces?
Ashley and Evan - 1st Christmas !
Papa's taking the picture :)
Whenever John walks into the house he bellows out " HELLO ? "
Sometimes I'm expecting it and I simply say hello back
But sometimes I'm concentrating on something and don't even hear the door open - so that booming
" HELLO ? " can almost give me a heart attack.
Seriously - I just about jump out of my skin !
Now you have to keep in mind that this could mean just going outside to rake - it's every time he walks in whether it's because he's been on a business trip ( which is perfectly understandable)
or whether he just ran out to the store.
So I thought he'd LOVE this sign !
I ran outside while he went to Home Depot and promptly put it on..............and waited
and it worked !
this time he didn't belt out HELLO !
instead
John says - WHY DOES IT SAY HELLO ON THE FRONT DOOR????
Suzan says - I find it welcoming - and now you don't have to worry about saying it every time you come in !
John says - The mat say " WELCOME " - the door says " HELLO " what's next - are the windows going to say " HOW ARE YOU " ?
He's dead serious when he says these things.
I - on the other hand - am doubled over - he has no idea how hilarious he is.
Later on when we were watching t.v. - out of the blue
John says - Maybe you should put " GOOD - BYE " on the inside of the door.
Suzan says - Maybe I should put " DON'T LET IT HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT "
John says - Nah - that would just be rude.............I'm not rude
Suzan says - HELLO?
Have a great day everyone !
I'll be spending a good part of it untangling lights because I never learn to put them away properly.
Hugs,
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Come in - grab yourself a coffee and some cookies - I've been basically baking for a week now.
Shopping.
For food in particular.
Does anyone else get embarrassed by what's on the roller thingamajig ( conveyor belt ? ) when you load up your groceries?
Say if it's filled with a lot of sweets or junk?
I try to load up all that garbage first so it's gone and then all the healthy food choices are left for the person behind me to study.
I do that you know.
I watch the person in front of me unload theirs and I make all types of assumptions.
Try to figure out their lives from their tell-tell food shopping.
Oh this one lives alone................
Wow - they give their children a lot of crap
Tsk Tsk - too much soda pop
Sometimes I see something I want and have to weigh the odds of stepping out of line and sprinting around the store trying to find it AND make it back in time for my turn.
Like I'm on a game show.
I don't go often - I'm actually forbidden to go because I have no control - but when I do................
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When I was a kid my mother would scrape food off my plate if I didn't finish it............and finish it herself.
Makes sense I suppose.............it's family after all.
But I can't do that.
Even with my kids ( although I was one of those tyrants that made them eat every drop off their plates - I look back sometimes and just cringe at how controlling I was ) but I could never have shared a drop of food even with my own offspring.
One of those quirks I suppose.
Saliva can not be shared.
Unless YOUR willing to share it FIRST..............as in let me have the first bite -
I have no qualms about my saliva being shared - I just can't handle the thought of some of yours in my mouth.
My friends all knew to give me my own little bowl of dip at parties - all of them - or I couldn't have any at all.
I was aware of double dipping long before Jerry Seinfeld brought it to everyone's attention.
So.................
Last weekend I baked.
A lot.
And before freezing I put out a container of mixed cookies for us.
I opened it up a couple of days later to find 2 cookies that had been bitten into !!!
Now keep in mind that John and I are empty nesters. So it's only him and I that could have taken a bite and it wasn't me.
Suzan says - DID YOU TAKE BITES OUT OF THE COOKIES AND PUT THEM BACK?
John says - No - as he chuckles
Suzan says - I can't believe you would do that - now I can't have any of them
John says - Don't be ridiculous - I might have taken a sample of a couple of them
Suzan says - Don't you realize your saliva stays on the cookies - omg - I'm going to be sick
John says - You sound like a CSI agent for Christ Sakes -
John says - Should I put gloves on before taking a cookie?
Suzan says - It's not your fingerprints I'm concerned about.....................
John says - Why did you put chocolate mint in so many of them ?
AHA - there's the proof !
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The Politcally Correct Police are at it again - this time their focus is the " Ugly Christmas Sweater "
OCD - of which I am one of the lucky recipients to have - in this case stands for Obsessive Christmas Disorder ( of which I also have )
Target has been accused of making light of mental illness................
How ridiculous are we all getting at this point?
I think it's a fun play on words personally - I may just buy two of them ( because I can't buy 1 of anything - part of the disorder ) Hey ! Maybe that's what they were aiming for - double the sales !!!
And then just because................
There's the Jewish version............
Chai means Life...........and is pronounced High ( with a bit of phlegm involved and I can say that because my Grandfather was Jewish and I toast " L'chaim " to his memory every year )
Chai Maintenance - High Maintenance
I think it's brilliant - really I do ( of which I'm one of the lucky ones to be high maintenance )
and the J.A.P. ? - Jewish American Princess?
I've been called that since I was 10 years old - that's the truth - especially by my Jewish friends.
I was baptized a Roman Catholic and I'm not offended when I'm called it.
Who are these people that sit and pounce on anything they feel isn't " kosher " ? Pun intended !
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Sharon from AT RIVERCREST COTTAGE asked if John had an accent - like James Bond.
John does in fact have an accent ( he swears he doesn't ) but it's a Yorkshire accent - not as posh as a London one.
Half the time I didn't know what he was saying when we first started dating -
As in :
Tatties - HATE that word - I absolutely hate it - it sounds too much like Titties to me - and I hate that word too. Anyway it means potatoes,
But the first time John said it to me we were still in the dating stage - and I had made him dinner - he told me something to the effect that he LOVED my tatties..............and I thought - wow - he can't even wait to finish dinner?
Anyway - I flashed him - very quickly - showing him my tatties and he almost choked on his POTATOES.
We still laugh at that.
Here's some other Yorkshire ( isms ) I've indicated the words John uses..............although he says he grew up hearing all of them
Allus - always ( still says from time to time )
Band - rope
Beck - stream
Bray - to hit
Chuffed - very excited - or proud ( says often )
Faffin' - messing around - " quit faffin' around " ( says often )
Flit - moving out of your home ( still says from time to time )
Flummox - confused ( still says from time to time )
Frame - move it !
Fratch - fight ( still says from time to time )
Gaffer - Boss
Ginnel - narrow alley - only enough for 2 people to get through ( heard him say it once or twice )
Lig - lazy or laying down
Lug oil - ear hole
Mashin - brewing tea ( still says often ) NOT mashing tatties - or God forbid titties
Maungy - spoiled - acting like a baby ( still says from time to time )
Midden - out house ( John says it's the outhouse shithole - see ? NOT posh at all )
Mind - watch out ! ( says constantly )
Nobbut - nothing - " nobbut to do "
Nowt - nothing ( still says from time to time )
Owt - anything
Parky - cold outside ( still says - often - hey he moved to Canada ! )
Peff - cough
Playin' Pop - getting into trouble ( John's Mother said it often apparently )
Silin' - heavy downpour " it's silin' it down " ( still says from time to time )
Sneck - Nose ( John's favorite expression - " keep your sneck out of it "
Spell - a splinter - OR - a time frame
Spanish - Licorice
Spice - Candies
Stalled - fed up ( still says from time to time )
Suited - pleased
Sup up - drink up ! ( still says from time to time )
Think on - remember ( still says often )
John swears he moved to Montreal to teach us colonists how to speak English properly...............I think he came here to learn it myself.
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Yesterday in my shower I shaved all my lady parts - under my arms - legs - bikini line - you know.
The shaver was blunt - really blunt but it was the last one I had so I just continued shaving away hoping at least some of the hair would be removed.
Got out of the shower and while I was moisturizing myself ( I can actually hear it getting sucked into my skin that's how dry it is ) I noticed it was like I hadn't shaved.
At. All.
So I turned around to grab the razor and throw it out when I noticed the plastic protector cap was still on it.
I shaved my entire body with the cap covering the blade.
Very methodically I might add.
Dear God - I'm becoming my grandmother............really I am.
Ok - I'm off - I'm going to attempt to shave my armpits............again.
And on one last note.
My thoughts this weekend will be in California................
Sometimes I wish there was a time machine I could buy a one way ticket for.
I'm not over Paris yet and now this - the world feels broken in thousands of pieces.
So does my heart.
Prayers for all.
California dreamin' on such a winter's day.
I put a few logs on a grate and covered them in lights
Now the reason I was hesitant to give a full picture is because we don't have a huge room ................so it's almost impossible to get a photo face on of the " faux " fireplace.
I moved the bed over as much as I could before it hit the other wall...........laid down on the bed as flat as I could get - but my legs were in the way - so I laid there spread eagled with my legs splayed up in the air and John walked in...........
Why I was embarrassed I have no idea - but I was - completely embarrassed to be in such a vulnerable position!
John says - WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU DOING?
Suzan says - Trying to get a shot of the fireplace
John says - You need to take photography classes - I don't think that's a normal pose
John says - WHY IS THE BED PUSHED AGAINST THE WALL???
Suzan says - Because it's in the way
John says - Did you see you snapped off a piece of the trim ?
Suzan says - Is that what it was? I heard a crack !
John says - Well I'm glad I didn't do it - I'd never hear the end of it - but if it's for the blog.........
That entire conversation happened with me in that position by the way - waiting for him to get out so I could continue .................
As he walked out of the room he casually mentioned the MIRROR I have placed right over the Christmas lights
I never thought to even look in the mirror - but it was horrifying - once again he saved the day or this would have looked like an entirely different type of blog !
At the very least it wouldn't have looked very wholesome - trust me
Create your own DIY Faux Fireplace for dummies HERE
Have a wonderful day everyone - the week's half over !
Hugs,
Me
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I ordered this online from Target ( we no longer have Target in Canada but we can order online )
John says - What exactly is that thing you have hanging on the ladder?
Suzan says - Well if you need me to tell you................
Suzan says - It's a stag head
John says - I know what it is but it's horrible ! It's bad enough we have an outdoor ladder in the living room now you want to dangle animal heads off it?
Suzan says - It's fun - the little ones will love it !
John says - It's going to give the little one's nightmares
He obviously did NOT pay attention to Mary Poppins............I took her very seriously
In every job that must be done
There is an element of fun
You find the fun and snap !
The job's a game
And every task you undertake
becomes a piece of cake
A lark ! A spree !
It's very clear to me
Just some leftover ribbon and a broken ornament
A broken ornament
A broken ornament
Justt some leftover ribbon and a broken ornament
Creates the most delightful deer !
John says - Well now it looks even more ridiculous
But it's staying - because I don't know any little ones that think Rudolph is ridiculous - he's the most famous reindeer of all :)
The Grinch will get used to it ................he always does !
Have a great one everybody
Hugs,
Me
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