Monday, September 29, 2014

It's like feeding a peanut to an Elephant?

I love food.
And eat it with a passion - my eyes close - I murmur mmmm between bites - I go on and on about how much I love whatever particular meal I'm eating - it could be Chateau Briand or a Hamburger -

Probably because I wait so long before I eat that I'm absolutely ravenous by the time I sit down to put something in my mouth.
John is the fastest eater on the planet - seriously - it's shocking to see him go at a plate of food ( and quite embarrassing if there are others in the room - because someone always ends up mentioning it to him.
I usually ask him to slow down a little or by the time I cut a mouthful of food he'll be leaning back in his chair looking at me.

I didn't feel like cooking last night - so we had our favorite take out food - taco's for me and pizza for John.
In a matter of seconds (or so it felt ) my dinner was finished - I'm talking really really hungry.

John says - You're finished?
Suzan says - I was starving
John says - It's like feeding a peanut to an Elephant......................


Suzan says - Did you just refer to me as an Elephant?
John says - I certainly did NOT - I was just comparing
Suzan interrupts - ME TO AN ELEPHANT!!!!!!!!
John says - You take everything I say out of context.

I've mentioned before that although John thinks he's funny - he's really not -
He blurts things out like a child would - without a filter - like you almost have to explain to him
why certain things are NOT funny.

This is the same man who tells me he's romantic - while explaining to me - when I complain about putting on weight - " Well there's only one way that happens - stop stuffing your gob "

I know that for a long long time - anything he says that's even remotely close to a compliment will be wiped out by that statement............a long time.

He could say - I like that dress on you
And I'll hear - I like that dress on you - would you like a peanut?
He could say - Your hair looks nice
And I'll hear - Your hair looks nice for an elephant.
He could say - You're the sexiest lady on the planet
And I'll hear -  You're the sexiest elephant on the planet.

I don't know if he made it up or if this is an English expression - and I can't ask him because at the moment I'm not speaking to him.

This elephant has a long long memory John - just remember that.

But - and this is really important - if I'm going to be seen as an Elephant - at least I want to be one of the ones that holds a paintbrush in her trunk!

This is the most amazing video - let me tell you - that elephant has one incredible talent.
( but I bet it can't paint a dresser )

Have a good one.all !
Much love,


  1. He did not!!! John, what were you thinking, or were you thinking!!!! I don't know if even roses are going to get you out of this one!!! Oh Suzan, Jim has pulled this kind of thing on me before, and then just says oh you're just too thin skinned. He finds out what thin skinned gets him, nothing!!! Then he made a comment to our granddaughter that had all the girls in the family on him, he realized the error of his ways!!! At 73, he has toned down a bit, but he still can let go with some sayings that can make my blood boil. You are gorgeous and John is a lucky man!!! Have a blessed day!!! XOXOXOX Karen

    1. Oh yes he did LOL !!!
      And he thinks nothing of it either - thinks he's being witty or something LOL

  2. Ha Ha you are so funny and Oh my that is an incredible fete for an elephant. Is it real? or a doctored video clip do you think.

    1. Thanks Jeanette !
      AND yes - that's completely real - amazing isn't it?

  3. Poor John is going to be in the doghouse for a very long time.

  4. Unbelievable! Amazing! Fantastic!!!! The elephant, I mean. How does it know how to do this?? I can't believe I watched the whole video with my mouth hanging open. And I wasn't eating. LOL You and John are so funny and I'm married to a fast eater too. I just look at his empty plate and say "Are you done? I'm only half way through! You must have been hungry!" He says "It was so good! I must have been hungry." This happens a lot here. We're married to gorbies, you and I. haha. I'm still amazed at the elephant painting an elephant. Have a good day.

  5. "Stuffing my gob". My new favorite saying.

  6. Oh no, he didn't!! I had to explain very clearly to Bruce how saying negative things about my body just couldn't be erased when he was trying to be romantic. Which one do you think I believe? Not the pretty comments, nope. to love them! Lol.
    The elephant is amazing! Maybe it should do pet portraits! :)

  7. Well, I guess I'm blessed because my hubby would NEVER say anything remotely like that to me. He's always giving me compliments. And I'm keeping him! But eating fast; he's like that too. Sunday we went out for dinner and he finished while I was still on the first half of my sandwich. I ended up having to take the other half home in a container they did up for me. {Boston Pizza} I am like you, I love food and I like to savour each bite. I don't understand these people that wolf everything down in two or three gulps. Food is meant to be savoured over polite conversation. My youngest son feels the same way and I'm so happy one of my boys feels that way. Anyway, you did bring a smile to my face and yes, your hubby owes you a dozen of your favourite coloured roses and a dinner out, savouring his food over polite conversation. :) Thanks for sharing.

    Blessings from PEI,

  8. Oh, the elephant is amazing! Can't believe it! I'm sending this to my grandson who will get a real kick out of it.

  9. I absolutely adore you and your cute personality...and I think I have a crush on John....

  10. (and, if u tell him i have a crush on him, don't tell him i'm 76, nearly 77, and he'll have a puffed up chest for a week.) shhhhhhh

  11. Tell John he's supposed to be WITTY, not shitty! ;)

  12. I have seen that elephant before on TV. He or she is amazing. John, must not enjoy his food at all to eat it that fast. That is not dining oh well to each his own. You my dear are not an elephant, pretty lady.
    Have a great week.

  13. Oh that John! Sorry...but I did have to laugh! When getting close to the end of the post, I was thinking...I need to tell Suzan about the painting elephants and then you shared the video! I was so intrigued by this video when I watched it over the weekend that I immediately looked it up to see if it was true...and sure enough, it is! Fascinating....even if the elephants are trained to do it. Hope you have a wonderful Wednesday.

  14. Men! I won't start on that subject right now...would probably say something I'd regret. :) Don't pay attention to him although I realize that is really difficult. You are beautiful and amazing!

    The elephant is adorable...I adore them! I was fortunate to be able to visit an elephant farm when I was in Thailand. Such amazing animals! We were able to ride an adult and it was truly something to check off a bucket list. The most precious though was feeding bananas to the babies. I almost couldn't leave!

    Hang in there my beautiful friend ~

  15. Your John and my Jim must be related, and we are the fortunate ones "they" found. It just flies out past their lips, and then they look surprised that we might be offended. A long time ago, I dubbed my Jim "THE KING OF INSULTING COMPLIMENTS!" example! "WOW, YOU LOOK SO GOOD TODAY I ALMOST DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU!" Say what????? "THAT DRESS LOOKS SO GOOD ON YOU! IT MAKES YOU LOOK 25LBS. LIGHTER"! And he thinks he is sounding sincere, and he means it sincerely, but doesn't hear it like us women do. "Gee, you hair looks nice today" translates to me that the rest of the time my hair looks like Phyllis Diller's! But an elephant takes on a whole new meaning when used to compare with your wife! Now, I'll have you know that elephants are my favorite wild animal (next to my Jim right now) and I actually have a painting done by one at the Nashville zoo! And like John, my Jim is a wonderfully kind husband and I am blest to have him. But every once in a while.........

    1. I think there's a whole slew of Jim and John's out there LOL
      Wow you look so good I almost didn't recognize you - I'm literally laughing out loud here!!!

  16. Steve has no filter either and has no clue when he has just uttered something he should have kept to himself.

    Thanks for the good laugh!

  17. I was literally laughing out loud! Thanks for putting laughter into my day! Cheers.

  18. LMAO!!!! I think this is my favorite line though:

    "I've mentioned before that although John thinks he's funny - he's really not -"




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