I love food.
And eat it with a passion - my eyes close - I murmur mmmm between bites - I go on and on about how much I love whatever particular meal I'm eating - it could be Chateau Briand or a Hamburger -
Probably because I wait so long before I eat that I'm absolutely ravenous by the time I sit down to put something in my mouth.
John is the fastest eater on the planet - seriously - it's shocking to see him go at a plate of food ( and quite embarrassing if there are others in the room - because someone always ends up mentioning it to him.
I usually ask him to slow down a little or by the time I cut a mouthful of food he'll be leaning back in his chair looking at me.
I didn't feel like cooking last night - so we had our favorite take out food - taco's for me and pizza for John.
In a matter of seconds (or so it felt ) my dinner was finished - I'm talking really really hungry.
John says - You're finished?
Suzan says - I was starving
John says - It's like feeding a peanut to an Elephant......................
Suzan says - Did you just refer to me as an Elephant?
John says - I certainly did NOT - I was just comparing
Suzan interrupts - ME TO AN ELEPHANT!!!!!!!!
John says - You take everything I say out of context.
I've mentioned before that although John thinks he's funny - he's really not -
He blurts things out like a child would - without a filter - like you almost have to explain to him
why certain things are NOT funny.
This is the same man who tells me he's romantic - while explaining to me - when I complain about putting on weight - " Well there's only one way that happens - stop stuffing your gob "
I know that for a long long time - anything he says that's even remotely close to a compliment will be wiped out by that statement............a long time.
He could say - I like that dress on you
And I'll hear - I like that dress on you - would you like a peanut?
He could say - Your hair looks nice
And I'll hear - Your hair looks nice for an elephant.
He could say - You're the sexiest lady on the planet
And I'll hear - You're the sexiest elephant on the planet.
I don't know if he made it up or if this is an English expression - and I can't ask him because at the moment I'm not speaking to him.
This elephant has a long long memory John - just remember that.
But - and this is really important - if I'm going to be seen as an Elephant - at least I want to be one of the ones that holds a paintbrush in her trunk!
This is the most amazing video - let me tell you - that elephant has one incredible talent.
( but I bet it can't paint a dresser )
Have a good one.all !