TODAY I'LL BAKE.................

I won't turn the t.v. on or listen to the radio because I simply can't absorb anymore of the grief the media keeps pounding into our brains.

I'll have my shower and head downstairs

I'll get out all my supplies and put my apron on

And I'll bake............

I'll bake for Ashley and Chris who have taken on the role of parents with such love and I'll just about burst for the little creation they brought into the world in September.

I'll bake for Gordie and Vanessa - and Vanessa's 2 little girls who have stolen my son's ( and ours ) heart away.

I'll bake for Lindsay and Tony - shaking my head and smiling because I can't use any animal products on those particular cookies - I tease her but I'm oh so proud of the stand she's taken. She walks the walk.

I'll bake for Annie and Mathew who fell in love as very young teenagers and have shown us the art of parenting with such grace that it can literally take our breath away.

I'll bake for James and Su who have been through so much and have come through it all on top of the heap
King ( and Queen ) of their world.

I'll bake for all the little ones...............and let them sneak one or two before Christmas dinner because that's what Lollys and Pops do.  And if their parents walk into the kitchen I'll hide them under the table or behind my back while they giggle out loud and I'll say loudly "  get out ! they're NOT in here ! "

I'll bake for Soda who always got little nibbles of the " throw aways " this is the first Christmas she's not with us in 16 years - it's been 2 weeks and nothing feels quite right yet.

I'll bake for all the in - laws of the above - because without them - our children's happiness could not be complete.

I'll bake for John who has never - not once - given up.
On anything.
But mostly me.
Because he loves me - as difficult as that can sometimes be - he loves me.
And my cookies.

I'll bake for all of the reasons above..........as I do every year.
And as I blend all the ingredients in I'll think of us - our big blended family.

But the truth is this year I have to put extra heart into it

This year what happened in Paris has totally devastated me and so I have to force myself into the kitchen.

Life does go on.
It doesn't stand still even when it's filled with those that seek to harm us.
And the only way I know to honor those whose lives were lost is to go on.

To keep my traditions.
To tell them your life was not in vain.............

And to assure their families that life will continue - our values will stay intact - they will not win.
They can create unspeakable sadness but they cannot destroy who we are.

I'll bake

And I'll bake

And then I'll bake some more

Until I feel nothing but comfort and joy
And then I'll wait for my favorite Christmas movie to come on - because despite it all - no - in spite of it all
It's a wonderful life.
It's also a precious and fragile one.
So for some reason it feels right that I be in my kitchen - working with my hands because that's where love begins for me.

As soon as I sign off on this post - I'll go downstairs - put some Christmas music on and preheat the oven.
And than I'll mix - beat - roll - sift my way clear into this next season.

We can talk about the world tomorrow..................
Today I'll bake.

Hugs,



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