It's here - Total Tuesday Couture.
I want to start this post off by saying the
We are in no way making fun of the fabulous " What I Wore Wednesday " series - which shows people looking their best - ALL we are doing is making fun of ourselves - because - well - that's what we do best.
I paint furniture.
A lot of furniture.
And for some reason I often paint furniture in my pj's - because:
A) If I can't sleep at night I simply slip out of bed and grab a paintbrush
B) Sometimes it's the first thing I do when I wake up
C) Often it's the last thing I do before I climb into bed.
D) I've grown quite fond of them
So my Total Couture Tuesday is about my pj's and John's horrified reaction to having to take photos
Suzan says - I need you to take some photos for the blog
John says - Sure - tell me when you're ready
Suzan says - I AM ready
John says - What the hell..............oh no you don't................
Suzan says - I don't want to have to go into a long story about this John - I just need you to take photos - that's all - that's it - period.
John says - What the hell is that on your head
Suzan says - It's a fancy shower cap...................
John says - WHY???????????
Suzan says - Sometimes I wear one to stop my hair from being covered in paint - YOU KNOW THAT -
we have to keep this real
John says - I've never seen you with that one on your head before - where's the other one?
Suzan says - I can't find the one I would normally put on - and this one is cuter anyway
John says - I'm not taking a photo of you like that - are you nuts? You look absolutely ridiculous.
Suzan storms out of the bedroom - stomping her feet in fury - shower cap on my head and all - what am I going to do?
Suzan says - do I have to call one of the kids to come take photos of me?
Suzan says - all the other husbands are just simply taking photos
John says - give me the bloody camera............
Suzan says - THANK YOU - sheesh
AND I CANNOT BELIEVE I'M POSTING THESE - if that's not the ugliest photo.........and it's not nearly as ugly as the first " photoshoot " photos.................they were so horrific, that I couldn't look at them myself.
This is supposed to be a funny post - not something that's going to send people screaming away trying desperately to find a nice normal blog.
Suzan says - It's ugly
John says - Well you're the one that wants to put these on your blog
Suzan says - Well I wanted to look funny - not UGLY.................and OLD
Suzan says - Can you take another one?
John says - I can't make you look younger
John says - You may want to put a brassiere on ( looking straight at them )
Suzan says - You know, when it comes to being a romantic and saying all the right things - you've got them
all beat John - every last one of them
Let's hide my
Suzan says - My cap is on too low - you can't see my eyes - and they're my best feature
Suzan says - AND I STILL LOOK OLD
Suzan says - it looks like I have a maternity top on
Suzan says - Can you take another one please? I'm going to change my pajamas
John says -NO - it's not going to get much better - you'll still be in pajamas for God's sakes -
and you want to SHOW every one - I don't have time for this nonsense -
John says - I regret telling any of my customers about your blog - God - do I regret it...............
6 fun facts I learned from this post:
1) I would give anything - ANYTHING - to know how to airbrush -
2) Now I know why I never wear tights in public
3) I look like a biker chick ( from Mars )
4) John's a LOUSY photographer
5) I look like a hooker from Amsterdam (we don't age well - which you can read about HERE )
6) My former life is catching up to me -
I used to be so tiny and petite - really - and " soft " looking - what's happening here?
I mean really, WTH is happening?
I look like one tough " mother " in these photos
Suzan says - You don't take good photos
John says - Well I'm doing the best with what I've got
Suzan says - Thank you - thank you very much
John says - Why don't you have that disgusting dressing gown you always have on when you paint?
Suzan says - It's my painting SMOCK..................
Suzan says - if you call it a Dressing Gown one more time - I'm going to throw up - It's called a housecoat
in North America -
The Mop is a Prop because I'm a Flop ( when it comes to housecleaning lately )
I could write my very own Dr. Seuss book......................
I look like an OLD crow in it..............but it's the best thing to wear when painting I swear to God lol
and I don't know why you can't see paint on it - because it's absolutely covered
|channelling Carol Burnett - my mentor
Suzan says - I know - I'm terrified
But what Suzan doesn't say - is what terrifies her the most -
ANTHONY BOURDAIN may come across these one day....................
You can read about our relationship HERE
John says - who's idea was this anyways?
Suzan says - I'm not sure - had to be one of the other ladies - I can't imagine I would ever do anything like this had they not insisted on it...................
Suzan says - Should I post these photos?
John says - No - you shouldn't
John says - Please remember there's people out there that you may not want to see you like that
Suzan says - Would it embarrass you terribly if one of your customers saw this?
John says - Yes actually it would
Suzan hits publish - with a small smile on her lips..................
Have a wonderfully couture like kind of Tuesday
Please visit the other ladies and laugh
Danni Silo Hill Farm
Bliss Bliss Rand
Kirby Kirb Appeal