Thursday, January 1, 2015

A Friday Chat ( about this and that )

My favorite part of a Turkey dinner is the leftovers - I love everything Turkey Leftover -

Hot Turkey Sandwiches
Cold Turkey Sandwiches
Turkey a la King
Turkey Soup
Club sandwiches
Turkey casserole, anything really.

I decided to chop some up to make us some Turkey Salad Sandwiches.................

Suzan says - I'm going to make Turkey Salad for us
John says - Oh that sounds great !
John says - Don't mix lettuce in mine please
Suzan says - WHAT are you talking about?
John says - Don't chop up lettuce in mine
Suzan says - I don't chop up lettuce and mix it in!
John says - So why's it called Turkey Salad?
Suzan says - It's like an Egg salad sandwich - or Chicken salad - or Tuna salad - except it's with Turkey
John says - What's in it then?
Suzan says - Turkey - onion - celery - ( I don't even mention the mayo because that's a N.O. if he knows about it )
John says - Ok just skip the onion and celery please

Shaking my head I go into the kitchen - what can I put for crunch?
I start chopping up red pepper really quickly before he walks in .................too late

John says - Oh - no red pepper in mine
John says - YOU'RE PUTTING MAYO IN IT ?  NONE IN MINE PLEASE
Suzan says -Why didn't you just say you wanted plain turkey between 2 slices of bread?
John says - Well it doesn't have to be plain - I just don't want the stuff you mentioned in it
Suzan says - THERE'S NOTHING ELSE I CAN PUT IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Later on in the week I said I was going to make a couple of cheese omelets -
John says - I LOVE THEM !!!
Suzan says - phew finally
John says - Would you mind not putting cheese in mine though?
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I'm a bad flyer.......................
Well since 9/11 anyway - I don't recall being scared before that really but since then?  Terrible.
John gets on a plane and promptly falls asleep - almost immediately - he is totally relaxed -
So that leaves it up to me to try to spot out all the bad guys on the plane - you know, the ones that are going to jump up at any moment and scream ALLAH AKBAR in my face?
Just call me Agent 99.
It makes for a horrible experience to be that paranoid ( once I convinced myself that an older woman was a terrorist -when she started screaming at me in Arabic that she wanted the window seat - out of nowhere - SCREAMING - the seat was in fact mine - the stewardess came over immediately and " bumped " me up to business class when I started screaming back in terror - but as I sat in business class very comfortably I fretted - who was going to keep an eye on that lady? )
And it's not just for myself - I'm terrified when anyone I know gets on a plane actually.
So these planes that disappear?
Beyond anything I can stand.....................I replay the scenario over and over in my mind.
Gut wrenching news.
Those poor, poor people waiting in airports for updates - knowing deep down that there just can't be any good coming out of it.
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Which reminds me of another time.................we were coming home from St. Martaan in the Carribean.
Not long after 9/11
I  was a nervous wreck - especially since we were in Manhattan the week before it happened - and one of our plans had been to go to THAT restaurant -
As we were walking up the stairs to board the plane ( coming home )  I had a terrible thought - and I stopped halfway up and told John I couldn't get on the plane................
He pushed me and told me to " just stop it " ( he's very compassionate like that )
So I did - and boarded the plane - I couldn't justifiably just stay in the Carribbean indefinitely..................
But I did so very reluctantly.  Each upward step was forced.
It was 3 seats per aisle - and there was a lady beside me who started a conversation.
She explained that she was a Travel Agent - and flew at the very least once a month..............safest way to travel she assured me when I told her I was feeling a little apprehensive.
In the midst of the conversation - mid sentence - there was some turbulence - terrible actually - the worst I'd ever experienced - and all of a sudden she went into a " duck " position ( which was completely alien to me )
I looked at John, terrified and reminded him that I hadn't wanted to get on the plane - while she calmly told me to get in the proper position because the plane WAS going to crash - she knew these things apparently.
She had experience, she told me -
And so I did what I was told........................
When I think back to it I could die of embarrassment because no one else did it - just the two of us - with John angrily telling her to " stop it " that she was terrifying all the passengers.................and her screaming back " to duck "
The two of us - OMG - the two of us crouched over - with our hands over our heads - what the hell was that going to do exactly?
And John angrily staring ahead shaking his head.
Anyway after what seemed like an eternity - she resumed a sitting position and matter of factly, said " false alarm "
I didn't speak to her for the rest of the flight LMHO -
Nut case.
And 2 nut cases should never be placed in the same row - beside each other.
I feed off that type of energy.
If someone's laughing - I laugh
If someone's crying - I cry
If someone's in a duck position on a plane ...............................
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If any one out there is a doubter of climate change - please book a trip to Canada this winter................YOU NEED to see this with your own eyes.
I can remember a time when once January arrived you started the count down - winter was almost half over at that point - although the most vicious part of it was still to come - it at least felt like you could see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Now?
It really hasn't started.
We had a glorious dump of snow a couple of weeks ago - and there's not a trace of it left -
Apparently 85% of Canada is still green - unbelievable - it truly is !
Montreal was so famous for their snow that they had the largest snow removal system on the continent of North America - often lending it out to our American neighbors.
It's unheard of to look out and see tidy lawns at this time of year.
I think I saw our ground hog come out the other day - he's confused the poor thing - he thought he'd slept in till Spring - missing Ground Hog day entirely.

Take a second to watch this - it's hilarious !  ( and scary at the same time because it's happening )
I think I've posted it before - but it makes me laugh



AND here's Montreal ( a couple of days ago ) it's snowing lightly as I type - but again it's supposed to be warm on Sunday with rain so it won't stay


I can't recall a winter like this in.............................ever .
Although it could all change over night really.
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I'm thinking of starting a linky party this month - so get all of your projects ready !
ANYTHING goes -

Suzan says - I think I'm going to start a linky party!
John says - What in God's name is a stinky party?
Suzan says - A. L.I.N.K.Y PARTY !!!
Suzan says - That's where people come and link up their projects - or anything - they can link up anything really
John says - You'd better be careful you know
Suzan says - Why?
John says - Well you don't want people linking from Porn Sites
Suzan says - WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM - REALLY ?

But maybe I do have to point it out?
No porn links allowed....................
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It's 2015 -
2000 and freaking 15
It sounds like something out of a sci fi movie to me - even George Orwell couldn't see into the future further than 1984.................
If you were born in 59 - 2015 was the year that we were supposed to be using flying cars - like the Jetson's ( since that was our only point of reference )
Not a Honda civic OR a van that won't start when it's too cold outside.
I was supposed to have a Rosy taking care of all my household chores....................so I could paint furniture
undisturbed
Bonus points if you remember Rosy the sassy Robot
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There was nothing on the other night - so I resorted to watching a show on a morbidly obese man awaiting an operation.
It was very sad actually - not good television - but sad none the less.
John came in and watched it for 5 minutes.
John says - Do you think we could watch a House or a Murder instead?
John says - This is sickening to watch - garbage.
Suzan says - We've already seen both the House Hunters AND the murder story...............
John says - I'm going to play poker...............

Later on that night I walked into the bedroom and saw him totally absorbed in something on t.v.
I sat down beside him to see a woman with breasts the size of basketballs .................( and that's not me joking - they were literally the size of basketballs )
Suzan says - What are you watching?
John says - My Strange Addiction ....................she's searching for a doctor to give her larger implants.
John says - She's addicted to breast implants
John says - The other one is addicted to eating dryer sheets apparently.
John says - Where are you going?
Suzan says - I think I'm going to start playing on line poker too..................
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A police chief in Georgia is on leave while they investigate.
He shot his wife by accident.

Twice.

Bang - OMG Honey - I'm so sorry................
Whoa - Are you still standing?
Bang - OMG Honey - I'm so sorry................

He lost me with the second shot.
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If I have to have a " word " for 2015 - I'm going to pick " procrastinate " since every time I pick a word I do the exact opposite it seems.
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I have to go pack up Christmas now - and pick up some paint for that Dining room set tomorrow -
Have a wonderful weekend one and all !
Much love,
Me





32 comments:

  1. Happy New Year, Suzan! Always enjoy your chats about this and that...Your turkey salad reminds me of something I ordered for lunch today - a chicken sandwich without the chicken. I just wanted all the veggies and cheese :) I'd have had a heart attack if that crazy travel agent did that to me. She should have been booted off the plane. Linky party? I'm in!

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  2. Would you believe that records show we are going into a colder period? Colder equals less moisture, warmer equals more moisture. So it makes sense you have no snow. At least that's how a TV show explained it. The scientist did not have enormous boobs, so I think I'll believe her.

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  3. Your Friday Cahts never disappoint! Love them...:) Turkey salad with nothing in it...poor John! He is a picky eater isn't he? Duck position cracked me up! I have watched those 600 Pound Life shows and they are sad. I don't see how a person gets to that point. I've also seen the one with the basketball sized breasts who was trying to find a doctor to enlarge them again. If it was the same one, she is addicted to plastic surgery in general. She had had over 40 or 50 surgeries. Can we say crazy! And what kind of person thinks to themselves...I think I'll see what a dryer sheet tastes like today! Oh my...reality tv. I do love House Hunters though and Investigation Discovery. I should have been a detective! Happy Friday! Oh...and I promise not to link up any porn...lol!

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  4. I almost never tell Sam what I put in recipes for the same reasons. You two have got to start watching better TV...or just turn it off! LOL! Sam falls alseep on planes before we ever even make it to the runway. It's infuriating.

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  5. I LOVED Rosie the Robot!! And just think ~ with her, I would never again have had to make my own bed!!!

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  6. Hi Suzan! Wonderful musings! I wish I could even remember my conversations.Maybe I can't remember them because they are so boring... Happy New Year!

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  7. You are the funniest person online! (Having John as a husband sure helps with that)

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  8. Happy New Year! And I love your Friday Chats!!!! Linda@wetcreek Blog

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  9. You are too funny! The first scenario which I very much enjoyed reminded me of this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wtfNE4z6a8

    I would love it if you made your posts a bit shorter so I could digest the whole thing and a little amount of time I have! ever thought about carving them up into snippets? just wondering :-)

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  10. Hilarious - the plane, tv shows and sandwiches! I am now addicted to The Big Bang Theory. I have never watched it before December, so I record every show now. Save them up for when the garbage stuff is airing (who buys a house in the bayou? Really?!). I was flying with a co-worker several years ago. He said they put you into the duck posuition so you can kiss your arse goodbye. xo Patty

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  11. BWAH-HA-HAAAA ! loved the video. Have never been to Manhattan, but I imagine it's supposed to be pretty cold in January. Sorry you aren't getting your snow...perhaps you should move to Arizona apparently ! Silly John ! I bet he's a hoot to cook for ! Around here, some of the meals are made side by side on the stove since hubby won't eat what I eat so I have to make one "with" and one "without." There was a newspaper item here the other day, a story of a horribly obese man and his ups and downs, and how he died. He wanted to make sure people knew what it was like for him. Maybe as a warning? It was so sad. Suzan, I'm just like you when it comes to flying. People think my fear was from 9/11, but it actually came before that. We had flown back from a caribbean trip also. Exactly a month later, the same flight fell out of the sky and crashed. Thinking that could have been our flight, it made me really scared. I didn't fly again for 20 years. Five years ago I was forced to fly when hubby made me fly to Vancouver to get on an Alaskan cruise for our silver anniversary. Don't regret it, but I really don't want to do it again. I know it's supposed to be safer than auto travel, but at least when you're driving you feel as if you have a little control over the situation. They say when it's your time, it's your time.... well, by golly, I don't want to be on the plane when it's the PILOT'S time !!! Although I think about the families of those on the Air Asia flight, I think .... make that... obsess.... about the ones who were on the plane... the horror of their last moments. That freaks me out and I have to force myself to stop. I also look at everyone suspiciously, so you're not alone. While I'm sitting in the waiting area I watch everyone and their bags. And I'm willing to bet you and I aren't the only psycho ones who are like this. That reminds me... we took a trip a few months ago. The woman waiting for the flight in the seat next to me asked if I would watch her bag while she went to the restroom. Hesitantly I said yes, but I wanted to scream "NO! NO, I can't !" She walked off. OHMIGOD... what if there is a bomb in the bag!? Don't they tell us not to watch someone else's bag ? She took forever, where was she? I nearly went to the bathroom just to find her. Finally she showed up. I thought it was the end, I tell ya. *** I heard this morning about the cop who shot his wife... didn't know he said it was an accident. Yeah, right. Oh, yes.... and I'm claiming my points for knowing Rosie !! Happy New Year !

    patty

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  12. Suzan, today's paper shows in the last line that the previously reported information was in error and the cop only shot her once.

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  13. No porn link? Darn, what am I going to link then???? Happy New Year to you both!

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  14. I would say that John is a very picky eater LOL. I don't feel to comfortable flying anymore and I am so glad that I have retired and don't have to fly all; the time.
    You are so funny and I so enjoy reading your posts.
    Speaking about winter, my roses are in full bloom and are stunning. I should go out and take some pictures. We did have a frost this morning which is very unusual for So CA.. I look like I m getting ready to go to Alaska LOL.
    Have a wonderful 2015 Suzan.
    Mary

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  15. Thank you so much it is so dreary here and you made me laugh,you are so funny i love when you tell these stories,laughing causes fewer wrinkles. Thank you and hope you're having a Happy New Year.

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    1. Thanks so much Marlene - and a very very happy New Year to you too!
      xoxoxo

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  16. You made me laugh till I had tears in my eyes. My husband thinks I'm crazy now. Have you thought of doing a stand up comic act? Love, love, love these little blurbs.
    Happy New Year!

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    1. Your husband thought you were crazy long before this post - don't blame me for that LMHO !!!
      Thanks so much Joanne !
      Happy New Year !
      xox

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  17. OMG, this was great! I am still laughing! And, I haven't watched the video yet!

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  18. Your night of watching TV the other day was just like ours. We have never had cable. We can't afford it...okay...we don't WANT to afford it. But a couple of weeks ago, our tiny cable - the kind the helps us get about 15 local channels plus the shopping channels - went out for about 2 days. When it came back on, we had full cable - but not PREMIUM cable. Any way, we've been watching. Of course, practically every show is listed as a re-run, but since we hadn't seen it, it's all new to us. Come about midnight, they actually are re-runs of what we saw from 8 pm to 11 pm. Well, we can't complain too much, because we certainly aren't paying for it, but we can grumble amongst ourselves...and we do. So, yeah...we were bumbling around on cable the day you were bumbling around on cable. There's nothing on, we lament. We were watching the same crap you watched/didn't watch. We thought the cable was just a tease to trick us into signing up, and we thought it would go away on January 1st. Nope. It's still on. Pretty soon, we will be begging the company to cut it off - crying "uncle", in a way. We accomplished so much more before we started watching cable. The biggest problem with cable television shows is that they are so visual. You. Must. Watch. It isn't like we could be fiddling around doing something else. It isn't like we couldn't NOT look at the houses being presented to us on House Hunters, Love It or List It or some of the others. But, we complain the whole time. It is an insult to our intelligence to take the time to actually watch it. Self-important hosts show real estate or "design" the home. The one who "designed" the home today had $175,000 to "update" the home so the buyers would love it and stay. Apparently, she doesn't consult with the contractor, because they couldn't do the office, because they had to use the money to move the electric box over. They couldn't do the play room, because when moving the electric box, they exposed asbestos that had to be removed. Then, the home owner brats fussed and whined through the whole show. Make. It. Stop. I'll be happy when it's over, but until then, I will try to make better choices on what I make myself watch! Oh, Sunday it is supposed to be 74 with a 60% chance of rain in southeastern North Carolina. We will be going to the beach...only because we can.

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  19. Ok I was smiling until I read John's "stinky" party comment. Laughed out loud! The man is a riot.
    And I loved watching the Jetsons. I want a Rosy too!
    Wow on your no snow. Y'all look like Texas. We are cold and wet right now. All I can say is the weather patterns are crazy. Nothing "normal".
    I need to get paint for my dining set. I think I'm scared to start, lol. No, I'm going with busy and it's too stinking cold in the garage. I'm not allowed to paint inside...I make too big of a mess (not my words but Bruce's). Hm, I've been wanting to replace the carpet with flooring maybe that's a way to get it done. But then I could just end up in trouble. Ha.
    Have a great weekend, Suzan!

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    1. 6 degrees celcius tomorrow - ( that's 42 degrees for you ) there's a covering right now on the ground - but that'll go quickly tomorrow - WOW is right !
      You have a great weekend to Cecilia - cover your whole floor with drop cloths and paint !!!
      XOXO

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  20. Oh my. Funny post Suzan! It's sunny and cold here and still no snow on the ground but we're supposed to get a 'weather event' tonight and tomorrow with snow, ice pellets and freezing rain. Sounds lovely doesn't it? Then back into the deep freeze again next week. Enjoy the weekend.

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  21. Happy New Year! Christmas was so crazy I didn't even check my emails for a week, I've just waded my way through about 400 - mostly absolute garbage - thank God for yours to keep me going. After nearly 10 days mostly dancing like a maniac with my beautiful granddaughter (who is addicted to a truly awful music channel) I am done with TV for a while. I have never seen so many women wearing bras and not much else thrusting their butts (the term du jour it would seem) at me, thankfully Coral is far too young to realise what a shocking role model they are :-D I'd forgotten how full-on babies are, basically if cavorting in front of the TV to music videos keeps them happy that's what you do until your knees/back/ankles give way...I couldn't love that child more and the house seems very empty now but it's very PEACEFUL and at my age that's no bad thing for a while. Especially as I have done no work for weeks and the shop is probably going to hell in a handcart. So it's back to furniture painting for me too, I just hope I can summon up some energy!

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    1. Hey Gerry !
      Happy New Year !
      So happy you had a wonderful time with Coral ( such a pretty name ) I hope that wasn't " twerking " you were doing LOL ( google it if you don't know what I'm talking about ) .
      xxx

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  22. Always enjoy your posts Suzan. However, I am not convinced on the global warming. Kansas is in a deep freeze and I am so tired of it. No snow just brutal bitter cold.

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  23. We just got home from a holiday vacay so I have to pack up all of the decorations and put them away too. Leaving the tree until my in-laws come, and then that'll go too. I'm ready to get back into a routine.

    The duck on the plane scene is funny to read about, it probably wasn't funny in person. ;) I've never been scared to fly. Now I always consider the option to not fly...in fact, we drove to DC for Christmas instead of flying (since the weather is so mild here too) and I was fine with it. Had it been snowy/icy roads...then I'd have opted for flying.

    Happy New Year to you!

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  24. Oh my gosh that was funny about the Turkey salad. Men are so literal sometimes. I am with you on flying..been the same way since 9/11. I use to fly by myself all the time since I was a kid. Now, I am white knuckles on the plane. But you have to do it if you want to travel on occasion. It still is the safest I tell myself. Cheers to the New Year!

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  25. Haha. Oh my word! You had me in stitches. I heard about that Police Chief or what ever he is. He was sleeping with his gun and it accidentally went off? Really?
    That strange addiction show is bizarre. I watched one where she was addicted to eating cleanser or Tide or something equally terrifying. I am still waiting for my Rosie. We have video chat, which we don't use. The thing they needed to be working on was the robot maid. Have a wonderful rest of your weekend.

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  26. Literally LOL at John's fear of the porn sites joining your linky party!! Happy New Year

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    1. There's a " back " story to that - but I'll save it for another day LOL
      Happy New Year to you too!
      xoxo

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  27. You just made me glad that I don't have TV! I'm a nervous flyer too, but only during take off and landing. Once I'm up there, I figure I might as well enjoy myself because there's nothing I can do if anything goes wrong. I also drink and listen to rock and roll music, which makes dying seem kind of cool.

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Due to a large amount of spam ( that I'm tired of going back to posts and deleting ) I'll be using comment moderation from now on !!!
Can I beat these spammers at their own game? Probably not - but I'm going
to try my damnedest !!!
xoxo