Tuesday, June 26, 2012

My dirty purse....................and I do have one

My shoulder has been hurting me badly for about a week now - it's a recurring problem that happens   periodically in the course of a year.................and I always figure it's from lugging furniture around because I can't wait for help - if no one's around I move it myself regardless of size or weight.
Anyway today I had to find something in my purse - and had to empty it to find it which is something I'm having to do more and more - and I simply cannot believe what I schlep around with me.
Unbelievable........................ridiculous to the point of (another ) disorder lurking in my life.

I mean all we really need to have in that bag is our wallet ( even that is overflowing with useless shit! )
Sunglasses - perhaps some tissues - car - house keys - lipstick - period.
Everything else can stay at home until we get back, right?

Here's what I pulled out of mine this morning

2 PAIRS OF SUNGLASSES ( because maybe I'll lose one pair? ) and the 2 gigantic cases that go with that
4 PACKS OF GUM -  a couple of them only have 1 or 2 gums in them -
8 PENS - yeah 8 of them - because what if  7 of them ran out of ink?
MY PASSPORT - because you just never know when you may have to hop on a plane
6 HAND SANITIZERS - which I have to use just for putting my hands in this filthy bag
AT LEAST 30 PAINT SWATCHES all neatly fastened together with an elastic band
A PACKAGE OF BANDAIDS - keep in mind my kids are all grown -
TOOTH BRUSH - TOOTHPASTE - DENTAL FLOSS ( 4 pks of dental floss )- ok the dental floss is a good thing but I have never, not once, in the 25 years I have been carrying these items - brushed my teeth
in a public restroom - I know people do it and good for them - but I have simply never done so,
nor do I suppose I ever will - what the hell do I keep carrying them for -
6 LIPSTICKS - starting to notice a pattern here?  I can never just have one of anything
2 TAMPONS - have not had a period in years - but hey you never know - the clock may
reverse one day - and I may be wearing white - and Oh God - where are those emergency
tampons when I need them?
AN EMERGANCY KOTEX PAD - what the hell? I never even used them when I could have -
but again they can be used as a bandage in an emergency - but I swear I never put that in my purse.
AN ADDRESS BOOK - lmao - who the hell has an address book in their purse anymore - and it's
so old most of the numbers no longer exist - and they're all on my cell phone anyways.
3 COMPACT MIRRORS ( so I can see my nose from all angles? )
2 RER TRAIN TICKETS FROM.....................Paris - last trip was 2 years ago
A GROCERY BAG WITH A PAIR OF FLIP FLOPS ( and the car always has 3 or 4 pairs
of shoes laying on the floor )
A PAINT LID OPENER ( so that's where it was - I've been using a butter knife to open my
paint cans )
20 REDUNDANT BUSINESS CARDS - the ones I should have in my purse are on my desk

Do you think this may be the source of my shoulder problem?
And it gets better
Whenever John and I go out - he always asks if he can put his cigars in my purse - and I always
think Ok - this just may be the straw that broke Suzan's back - literally.

I've gotten better - when I was younger I used to carry my curling iron around with me - and now
I'll let you in on another secret - dating myself dreadfully again but here goes,
When I was 5 or 6 Chatty Cathy was a BIG thing...................and I used to stuff her in my school
bag and carry her with me to school and back placed in between my books, so this problem is not a new one-

It's time for change Suzan -
I'm cleaning out my purse today..................I think at this point it's the only way I'm ever going to lose
weight anyway



  1. We're obviously about the same age, though I never hauled my Chatty Cathy around with me. I do haul around both a Kindle and a Kobo - like I won't have enough to read in the 100s of books I have in each if I finish my current book? I also have 5-6 pens and just got rid of the paint swatches.

  2. Mine is almost that bad...honest! I have friends that give me hell 'cause it's so heavy. I really hate to change purses and when I do, I try leaving out a lot of things. It just doesn't seem to work as over a period of time, I'll have it back in the same shape.

    I've never understood how so many can carry those very small bags and be just fine with it. Blows my mind! :-)


  3. Haha. I love it that you carry your passport around with you! Are you into criminal activity, that you have to be ready at a moment's notice? lol And I'm laughing because mine is just as bad. And yet when I clean it out, I can never find those things again. Good luck.

    1. i too was thinking this,she also has toothbrush,toothpaste,& floss.mmmmm what have you done?are the redundent business cards your former identy?the 2 sunglasses are to switch out when trying to hide your face.ha ha ha.i love this.me i carry nothing but my identy & medical info in my pocket.oh & an atm card for when i need money

    2. Too funny!!!
      If I were on the "lam" though I'd be bringing my shoes - lots and lots of them - can't go anywhere without them.

  4. I used to have a Chatty Cathy...I wonder what happened to her? Thanks for stopping by my blog! I am following you, as well.

  5. I lose my keys down in those depths...I can so relate...Blessings, Becky

  6. Again, I've have been laughing for the last 5 minutes. I am visiting my mom, and read it to her. She was laughing also. Until 2 weeks ago my purse was the same way. Then I was traveling and changed to a smaller purse.

  7. LMAO!!! Yes, I think you pinpointed the cause of your shoulder problem! I've learned to simplify that one aspect of my life. My purse has my wallet, my prescription sunglasses, my phone, one lipgloss and that's it! I was getting too flustered trying to fish something out.

    Now if I could only do that with some areas of our house...


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