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Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Christmas - the big C

I had a big scare this weekend - without going into details that might make a lot people queasy ( because it still makes me queasy to think about it ) I had completely convinced myself that I had the big " C ".  I mean
completely convinced myself.
And then the strangest thing happened.  Instead of panicking, a very strong sense of calm took over me.
Me, Miss Drama Mama.

I did not cry.
I completely went into organizational mode.
I made sure my insurance papers were in order.
I taught John how to use Craigs list
I put together a bag with deodorant - tooth brush - toothpaste.
I told John where he could buy me a housecoat ( because mine is covered in paint )
I separated jewellery into envelopes for my children.
I sterilized the toilet
I did not cry.
I put cards on furniture that's listed for sale so he would know how much to charge.
I answered as many emails as I could

And then I asked John to take me to the hospital.
I did not cry when I was given top priority -
Or when I was seen ahead of everyone else in the room -
Or when the first Doctor called in a second doctor - who called in a third doctor and I was still
quite calm when the 4 and finally the top honcho ( the 5th doctor ) was called in to check me out.
I answered all questions - dealt with all the feeling and touching and probing, dry eyed.
I listened while they told me they were going to skip one test completely and move on to the next one
for the next morning -
I came home that night - and did all that I had to do - and prepared myself for what was to come.
I did not cry the next morning when they wheeled me in as a top priority patient - or when they explained that there would be some discomfort -
Or when the nurse grabbed my hand and squeezed it hard as she could just when the fear was starting to get the best of me..

And then it was all over.
I woke up in the recovery room to the most beautiful site
The doctor was standing over me - beaming from ear to ear -
It's not cancer - she whispered.

I jumped up and grabbed her and hugged her as tightly as I could -
And then I cried -
and I cried
and I cried.

And now I can get ready for the only big " C " I want in my life.
Let Christmas begin!
Enough with the emotional posts - lets get some humour back on this blog :)
Makeovers will resume shortly lol - scout's honor!
Christmas shopping will not be completed until the last box of chocolates
has been wrapped for the staff angels that took care of me yesterday morning.

Oh and I'm 8 pounds lighter today - hmmm if I went through this a couple of times a year....................









32 comments:

  1. Suzan!! What a blessing! What a wonderful post. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

    Hugs,
    Meredith

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  2. This is going to be a great Christmas...so relieved for you! And by the way, you made me cry :)
    Karen

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  3. Suzan, I'm so happy for you. I know what a hard thing that is to shake the thoughts that you can't help thinking at a time like that. So glad the outcome was what it was and now look forward to a wonderful Christmas time with your family..Happy, Happy Wednesday..Judy

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  4. Gosh, what a relief all is well! Humor and Christmas sounds like a wonderful plan :)

    Jeanette

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  5. Wow! Soooo happy that you are okay!

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  6. You do NOT want to go through this a couple of times a year to lose 8 pounds, lololol!!! But you mad me laugh after I was getting the tears reading your post. I'm so, so, so happy for you that the only big C in your life is Christmas! Huge hugs and happy hurrahs, and a thousand high fives thrown in for good measure too!

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  7. So happy to hear that it was not what you had feared. What a great Christmas present for you. Now, take it easy, recoup and enjoy your big "C" holiday. You deserve it after such a big scare.

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  8. I'm so glad you're okay! What a scare! Thank goodness everything turned out fine. Have fun getting ready for Christmas.

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  9. You should be a life coach. I do not think I could have gone through all that with the fortitude you exhibited. On the humorous side I would have marked my furniture before I left for the hospital, but would have forgotten reminding Chucks about Craig's List! Your Christmas will certainly be a blessed one this year.

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  10. I am certainly happy that you did not face bad news. Now you can really Celebrate.

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  11. Good news! You know I was praying for ya----from my mouth to God's ear....now get on with your Creations, Christmas,Chocolate,Cookies,Candles,Custom finishes,Conversations with John....should I go on with the C's or stop here, Cousin?;>) xo Diana

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  12. It is the season of MIRACLES, you know.

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  13. No one really knows until they're faced with an actual situation, but you now know that you react calmly and rationally in a crisis, which is a gift to yourself. It's a kind of confirmation of character. There is a lot of peace of mind associated with that.

    My reaction at the end of the post was a deep sigh... of relief.

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  14. Oh my! Scary stuff. Glad you are okay. Take care of yourself!

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  15. Great news!! I'm so glad you're OK. Now it's time to "Celebrate, Celebrate, dance to the m-u-s-i-c".
    Enjoy!
    Tuula :)

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  16. Ah, bless you. I'm so glad that's over for you. x

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  17. Oh my, Suzy.....My heart is in my mouth, my eyes are welling up and I'm thinking of you alone in that recovery room waiting to hear if this was good news or not. Thank God, Thank God, you're okay.

    Now onto much better things AND 8 lbs. lighter to boot!!

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  18. 8 lbs.!!! I'm sooooo jealous, hehehe!
    I'm REALLY happy your okay...I've lost way too many of my family members to that ugly thief, my grandma, great grandma, uncle(my mom's only brother), my dad, and my sister. My mom and me are the only ones left, and she's the only one who survived the nasty stuff...sorry to bring you down, that wasn't my intention, I just wanted to say that I'm so so so sooo happy that you were able to cry tears of joy and you can celebrate with your family. No envelopes of jewelry for the kids this time :P

    You are truly amazing to make sure that toilet was sterilized, hahaha :D

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  19. that is great news! A Christmas present came a little early for you!

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  20. I know ewcatly how you feel... A couple weeks ago my doctor felt a "lump" in my breast... So I had to have a more precise exam... but I had to wait a whole week before... I did not panic. Then during the exam the doctor kept saying "there"s something... there's something"... I started having trouble breathing. I had sworn I would say nothing during the exam, but I finally blurted out: "what's that something?". "Oh, nothing, dear, it's an innocent lump!" Then he asked me to stand up, shook my hand and was pushing me towards the door... "Sir, have you noticed I'm still naked?"!!! Apparently he had had a long day. But it was so good to laugh with him after a week of worrying!
    I'm glad you're also relieved and will keep make me laugh with your daily posts!

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  21. Embrace the JOY. Best wishes to you always. Patty/BC

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  22. While it is certainly no laughing matter to have an incurable illness, it is always nice to hear that you are not alone. I've convinced myself a couple times that death is imminent, but not once did I teach Brawn how to use craigslist or sterilize the toilet. I did vow I will regularly drink the unpalatable magic potion the doc insists on every few years, just so I don't have to wonder any if the imaginary illness I have had is back.

    Bliss

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  23. Dang--I am glad this wasn't a longer post and it ended with Christmas--I found I was holding my breath while reading this--Now break out the champagne (or whatever) and get on with Merry, Merry Christmas! Truly though, I am glad you are alright. You handled the situation admirably.

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  24. Suzan, I'm so sorry that it wasn't what you thought. I also thought I was going to die last year when I had blood clots in both lungs. But like you, I was calm. Looking back, it was odd, since I thought I would have bawled like a baby. Couldn't go home to get papers in order since I was put right into the hospital. Guess I could do that now, hmm? I'm SO very glad that it wasn't serious and you'll be with us for a long time to come. We need you, Suzan. You're a friend to all of us.

    patty

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  25. I'm really sorry you had such a bad scare! Carpe Diem from here on in!

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  26. Suzan, Your post hits really close to home. My older sister was just diagnosed with breast cancer. She starts her first chemo treatment tomorrow. I feel so helpless and fearful for her, and I wish I could wave a magic wand and take all of this away. I am so glad that your tests came back ok, I know this sounds selfish but I don't think I could handle two people I care about going through this. Even though my sister and I have never really been close, we are still sisters. And I know she will beat this, she is strong, after all she is my sister. and she knows I will be by her side. Sending hugs your way, glad you are ok my friend. hugs Tobey

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  27. What an emotional post. Oh Suzan, such a horrible experience for you, but I'm so so glad it turned out with such good news! I don't know what else to say, except I hope whatever it was is ok now.
    Merry Christmas to you & John.
    Debbie :)

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  28. Suzan, you are one of my very favorite bloggers. Your blogs make us (the readers) feel like we know you and that you are a friend. I can't tell you how happy I am to read that you are going to be fine I'm just so sorry you had this scare! Your post made me cry. ***hugs***

    Merry Christmas,
    Rebecca

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  29. So glad it worked out! Take care Suzan!
    HUGS Joanie

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  30. Hi Suzan!!!

    My goodness girl you had me holding my breath!! You have to teach John to let us know if things go wrong so we can send flowers and such. I'm soooooo happy you're alright and wasn't that nurse kind?? Eight pounds!!!!! Is John treating you like the Queen that you are?? LOL

    I'm so happy for you!! I've had two scares in my life concerning the C word. My world wouldn't be the same without you in it. Who could I meet up with on my next visit to Montreal?

    Now rest and let us know how you are getting on.

    Love ya lots
    Pam
    xox

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    1. PS:

      Just read over my message and I meant to teach John how to tell us on your Blog if you end up in the hospital so that we can send you flowers.

      Pam

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  31. You deserve only the good things...and I'm so happy that's what happened! Isn't it strange how we go into "auto pilot" and then fall apart later? I have one more thing to add to my gratitude list and that makes me VERY happy!

    xo
    Pat

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Due to my inbox looking like a scene from a Hoarder's episode ( yes I hoard comments ) I'll now be replying directly on my blog - nice and clean like !!!
Much love, Suzan