Friday, March 27, 2015

A Friday Chat ( about this & that )

A Stick and a Ball..............( or even just a ball )

What is it that Men find so fascinating about these items?

They go on and on about the things we like - chuckling to themselves about " little women " and their " toys " and meanwhile they're either plunked on a couch staring at a bunch of grown men whack - catch - or dunk a ball - or participating.

Watch me run and jump and try to throw a ball in a loop !
Watch me take this stick and skate across the rink and try to get this puck in a net !
Watch me bat this ball with a stick far far away and run run run to " safety " !
Watch me catch the ball - and rub myself - and spit while other men cheer !
Watch me get that ball in that teeny tiny hole way over there where that flag is !
Watch me grab this ball from him - and smash into them - leaving them unconscious as I get to that line !

I GET it - these are sports that they've played ( or wished they had ) since childhood - it's deeply ingrained in their phyche ...............

I wonder what they'd think if we just plunked ourselves down on the floor and started playing with Barbies ?
Maybe we should start professional Barbie playing teams?
Wouldn't the play-offs be fascinating?

At the very least it would give US a reason to sit on the couch like zombies and not do anything !

SHHHH !
QUIET !
Barbie and Ken are having an argument over a Malibu Mini Van !
I've been waiting all week to see this !
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I went out to the mud room ( I don't know what else to call it )
It should be called the flimsily made addition to the back of the house that's precariously tilting to one side and ready to disconnect itself from the house and run in terror

Anyway - there was a very loud hissing noise - and water shooting up everywhere - yep - a pipe had burst !
The joys of
A)  Living in an older fixer upper
B)  Unheated mud rooms
C)  Canada - almost anywhere

While we ran around frantically - with me screaming at John to turn off the water supply and him yelling back at me that he didn't know where it was - the water was literally about to wash the mudroom away completely ( and inevitably land in  the swimming pool since that's what's closest to it )

I called at least 10 emergency plumbers as John ran up and down the street looking for an abstract Plumber taking a Sunday stroll...................

DO SOMETHING !  I screamed frantically from the door
I AM !  He responded from the street
GET IN HERE !  I begged..............
but he was already running up the street...........

And this is where sometimes the fates render me useless.

HE FOUND ONE !
AND I DIDN'T !

A neighbor was outside and mentioned that another neighbor 3 doors up was in fact a plumber.

He quickly fixed it - within minutes it was soldered and functioning perfectly ( and then he went downstairs to show John where the main water supply was )

As he was leaving and we were trying to shove money into his pocket - he told us this was his personal
" Welcome to the Neighborhood "

I almost cried.
What is it with random acts of kindness that make me terribly weepy?

" Listen " he explained - " I helped one of our neighbors renovate his house - and didn't charge him - it took us 3 months - so I'm NOT going to charge you for 15 minutes "

WOW........................there are people left like that in the world folks.................

Suzan says - Oh do you think you could help us finish this place off then ?
John shoved me with his elbow.
Hard.
Just joking, I exclaimed.
Sort of.
( rubbing my shoulder )

As he was leaving he asked if I was a decorator - I looked at him dumbfounded - this dump?
What's finished is gorgeous - he said - really just gorgeous

I almost cried.
What is it with random acts of kindness that make me terribly weepy?

And it WAS an act of kindness - because there's nothing gorgeous about this place - trust me - not yet anyway - ( I still have the tiniest bit of hope left though - not much but a little )

Can you do ceilings?  I shouted out as he was walking down the path...................
He chuckled.
John seethed.
I made plans.....................
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Do you need a top up of your tea or coffee?  Go ahead...................
I'll just keep talking while you're busying yourself.

Random thought:

I've gone my entire life not ever wondering what the A and the W stood for in A & W...................
Isn't that strange?  I can still sing the original jingle - and never gave the initials a single thought.
They stand for................
Roy W Allen and Frank Wright .....................(no relation to the Wright Brothers )
Hop in your car - come as you are
( if it had been the Wright brothers - it would have been " hop in your plane " obviously )

If you didn't know this little bit of trivia - you're welcome
If you did - I DON'T want to play Trivia Pursuit with you.
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My Grandmother ( Helen Egan - you can " meet " her  HERE ) was good friends with
OSCAR PETERSON when they were younger - here in Montreal - before he hit the big time ( forgive me if I've mentioned this before - me and my name dropping )
They'd often eat lunch at each other's houses................
She was also childhood friends with someone who went on to be a huge name with the Mafia - not mentioning that name out of total fear...............
An Angel and a Devil - and she was somewhere in between.
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When I like something - I like it.  I love it.  I want some more of it...............( thanks Tim McGraw for putting into words so elegantly what I've struggled with for a lifetime )

My daughter brought me home this Owl Night Light from Florida - she got it at T.J. Maxx...............


Mom says - Oh I love this Lindsay !
Lindsay says - Thought you would
Mom says - Is there anyway I can get 2 or 3 more
Lindsay says - No Mom - it was the last one actually
hmmmmmmmmmm
Mom says - Aren't your in-laws still in Florida ?  ( they winter there )
Lindsay says - Yes they are
Mom says - Do you think your MIL could maybe check out another TJ Maxx for me and pick them up - I'll pay her when she gets back
Lindsay says - PLEASE TELL ME YOU AREN'T SERIOUS?
John says - You're Mother always wants everything in bulk - I had to buy 5 birdhouses last week.
Lindsay says - I'm not very comfortable asking her to run all over Florida looking for nightlights for my Mother
Mom says - Well she owes me
Lindsay says - WHAT?
Mom says - I let her Son marry my Daughter
Lindsay says - Maybe she thinks you owe her LOL

It's a disorder..................I know that - I think it's called MULTIPLE-ITIS...............I have to work on it.
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I've been pining away here for Spring to really arrive - I check the advanced weather forecast constantly - and the thought occurred to me this morning -
I'm wishing my life away here -
It'll come - why do I have to always wish things were here already?

I'm watching a young neighbor ( as I type ) sadly walking around the hockey rink his Dad built him this Winter.  His little shoulders are slumped - he's kicking stray bits of leftover ice - it's the ultimate Canadian heartbreak for a young Hockey Player.
There's nothing sadder to see.
Except for the lady looking down at him from her window willing it to vanish completely.
Sometimes I really do feel like Mrs. Kravitz ( bonus points if you remember her )

I almost want to kneel down and gently put my arms around him - and .......................
scream SO SAD - TOO BAD - it's not like you won't be able to play every single winter of your life !

I love kids - it's the cold that's doing it to me, I swear !


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House Hunters

If I see one more couple whine about the colors on the walls of a perfectly fine house - I'm going to throw a tin of paint at the television
( as opposed to simply turning the t.v. off -  because obviously I quite enjoy the " getting mad " experience )

But the one that totally kills me is House Hunters International - you know which episodes I'm talking about - the ones where the couples explain to us that they want a TOTAL European ( or wherever ) experience - to broaden their horizons so to speak - and then can't even get past the difference in houses.
They want to live on another continent in a NORTH AMERICAN HOUSE !!!!!!!!!!!

They whine about the size of the rooms
They whine about the kitchens
They whine about stairs
They whine about closets
They whine about bathrooms

AND then explain to the realtor that bathrooms at home are larger than the bedroom and they just don't know how it'll work for them.
I cringe.  I literally cringe.
I wonder if they realize how self entitled they come across as?
As they're wringing their hands and fretting over this huge culture shock ( the size of a room ) the realtor - with a little disdain - patiently explains to us ignoramuses watching that houses aren't the same in ITALY,FRANCE,SPAIN,ENGLAND.......................when really what they want to say is -
GO HOME YOU UNCOUTH NORTH AMERICANS !

There are however a few couples that are an absolute joy to watch !


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Enjoy every single second of your weekend.
EVERY.  SINGLE.  SECOND.

Much love,
Me.















24 comments:

  1. Oh Gosh, some of those episodes of Househunters International make me cringe, too. But you have to admit, some of those bathrooms are HORRIBLE! I have a friend who married a Palestinian man whose family lives in Jordan, and they visit every here. In that house, the bathroom doesn't have a toilet as we know them, at all. There is a tiled space with a water faucet and a hole in the floor. One squats - if you get the drift -- and the "flush" is running the water -- if you are fortunate to go when the water is running because there are regular water cut-offs, just as there are regular power cut-offs, even in Amman. Me, I'll stay right where I am, plopped practically on top of Lake Michigan. Until Congress decides to sell it to China.

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  2. Excellent way to start my Friday!
    First of all, Malibu MiniVan gave me a snort of laughter that startled me.
    Then again at abstract plumber.
    I also tear up at random acts of kindness, I thought I was the only one.
    My nickname is actually Gladys Kravitz (ain't that the spelling?) because for the 14 years I walked my dog in the neighborhood every single day I knew everything about my neighbors, called in two natural gas leaks, and reported smoke coming from an unused chimney. Now, without a dog, I am pitifully uninformed!
    My house is tiny, the bedrooms are tiny, and one of the ways I cope with that is by saying "it's very European". It's not about space, it's about the best USE of space.

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  3. How lucky ya'll found such a kindly plumber!

    When I get home, I'll look at our TJMaxx for your owl light.

    We have the exact same complaint about some of the yahoos on HHI... It isn't America, ya lumps ~ deal with it!!!!!

    ;)

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  4. Oh Suzan! I REALLY needed this post!! Things are a little crazy right now....and I really needed to be reminded that life is good. You had me laughing right out loud!! Thank you- and please have yourself a wonderful, crisis free, thoughts of spring (sorry, no choice there, it's snowing right now- so thoughts will have to do) and "multiples of everything thats good! xxxooo

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    1. Oh thanks so much Kim !
      Sorry to hear that things are crazy but.......................Welcome to my world - won't you step on in?
      What's going on with the weather in our corner of the world - it's freaking freezing again today !
      Stay warm & sane!
      Much love,
      Me

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  5. Thanks for the smiles Suzan. A fun post today. I'm glad you have a good neighbour that's a plumber. Have a great weekend!

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  6. LOL- Oh- I sewed and sewed and sewed for Barbie when I was young. I sewed Barbie clothes for the kids I baby sat for when I was 14.
    I am to the point where I can't stand HHuntersInternational. The people just drive me nuts. Seriously...and then the regular HH they say- Oh- I can't STAND that color...and look at that carpeting! GET A GRIP on reality. Paint!!! Paint!!!! Paint!!!!

    MyHero is onto the basketball circuit now. WI is in the finals.....soon it will be golf...and then, once again, football. Thank God we are not big hockey fans in the states.

    That was a wonderful act of kindness by your neighbor. You may end up loving it there after all. I am anxious for you to move forward with your house, too. It is all about time, opportunity and $$$, isn't it?

    Have a wonderful weekend- xo Diana

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  7. I miss my hockey rink *sniff*. Though you might describe it as a frozen mud puddle.

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  8. When I hear the people on HHI, I want to scream WHO CARES ABOUT THE SIZE OF THE BEDROOM!!!!!! YOU'RE IN blah-blah-blah!!!!!!!! This also happens on Love It or List It, 1 and too, and Property Brothers. On Love It or List It, they put two people in the bathroom to demonstrate how it's so small. I tell my wife, "She'd never poop with him in there anyway!" Miraculously, my wife and I take turns in the small bathroom, so we make do. Who wants a spa-like bathroom? It's a place to brush my teeth, take a shower and pee. Who wants a huge bedroom. I SLEEP IN THERE!!!!! Open concept blah-blah-blah... People throw fits about the strangest things. The last one I remember is the way the staircase looked. We couldn't figure out how it could be changed. They changed out the spindles for something equally as dumb. Geez. My wife and I always guess what type of "unknown" disaster will take place, like HVAC, mold, electric or plumbing. It's like the designer dove in head first without looking in the attic to see which was a load-bearing wall or didn't take into account that the electric panel would be in the way when she moved the laundry room. They need to create drama, because simply none exists IF THEY PLANNED IT OUT FIRST!!!!! Also, when the people look at the fixer-upper with the Scott brothers, they focus on the cosmetic things. Can't they see past the paint and carpet colors??? HAVE THEY NEVER WATCHED THE SHOW??????? Good grief! I want to smack them. Even though I like watching decorating/house design shows, there are times when I can't take another minute of stupid people. Instead, I watch crime drama where even the criminal looks intelligent until he or she gets caught. Breathe...in....and....out...

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  9. Loved your post. What a nice neighbor! If I hear one more stupid couple complain about PAINT, I'm going to scream!

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  10. I don't know how you can keep all that in your head until Fridays!
    Great neighbor,I never watch those shows anymore because they seem so fake and I never was much of a Barbie girl. I loved the clothes and shoes but had no interest in the dolls. Especially creepy Ken.
    I think you may get a lot more owl nightlights than you bargained for. ;) Shall I check, too? As usual, you have me LMAO. xoxo

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  11. Oh goodness, what a great neighbor! Yes, there are still nice people out there...more than not I like to think. (I know I live in a rose colored world but I prefer it, thank you very much). I'm lucky my man doesn't watch tons of sports. What is it with them and those anyway? Yeah, the House Hunters thing makes me cringe too. Makes us look like chumps. Love the owl night light too. So cute. And lastly, I remember Mrs. Kravitz.
    Whew, have a great weekend!

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  12. Suzan,
    So happy you found a kind hearted plumber to help you guys out. That is so sweet.
    Loved this read. Have a great week end.
    Kris

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  13. I loved you screaming at the kid on his hockey court! Ah fantasies. Loved this post. And Suzan I know the parts that are finished are gorgeous.

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  14. Thanks for the huge laughs! Love to hear you are a Canadian Blogger as well!
    Best, Carol from Victoria :)

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    1. Thank YOU Carol from Victoria ( where there's not a drop of snow to be seen right now I'm sure ! )
      xoxo

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  15. Oh Suzan, I've been out of touch because we were away for the winter and wifi was not as it should be. I have missed your humour, you have me laughing again! I have a lot of catching up to do.
    MacGIRLver

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    1. Hey there Faye !!!
      Thanks so much :)
      XOXOOX

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  16. How funny that he found a plumber running up and down the street, hahahahaha
    How wonderful too that he found a plumber running up and down the street!

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  17. I CANNOT BELIEVE John found a plumber by running down the street screaming! It's impossible for me to address any other issue on this post until I get over JOHN FINDING A PLUMBER BY RUNNING DOWN THE STREET SCREAMING! My pump overheated and blew up, spraying steam and water all over the basement and what did my screams get me? Nothing but curious cats poking their heads down the stairs to see what all the commotion was about.

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  18. So very sorry to hear of your leak! Thank goodness a plumber lived nearby. He is right, what you and John have done to the house is nothing short of a miracle, it is gorgeous! All your hard work shows. Love the video, it made me smile as another 4-5 inches of snow fell down upon us. When will this winter misery end?! xo Patty

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  19. oh my gosh picking myself up from laughing so hard. I am so glad you have a resident plumber on hand for your emergencies. What a nice guy! We were visiting our kids when a pipe burst in their bathroom and it was flooding down the hall and the shut off valve is OUTSIDE a the edge of the yard and they had to dig sod to get to it. The little girls were in their rain boots splashing down the hall and into the foyer when their auntie showed up. What are YOU DOING? We are doing what mommy and daddy and Oma and OPa are doing....running around yelling and they were splashing and making screamy noises HELP TURN IT OFF NOW. The neighbor across the street showed up fixed the problem and promptly charged them $300 and they have been neighbors TEN years.

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Due to a large amount of spam ( that I'm tired of going back to posts and deleting ) I'll be using comment moderation from now on !!!
Can I beat these spammers at their own game? Probably not - but I'm going
to try my damnedest !!!
xoxo