A Stick and a Ball..............( or even just a ball )
What is it that Men find so fascinating about these items?
They go on and on about the things we like - chuckling to themselves about " little women " and their " toys " and meanwhile they're either plunked on a couch staring at a bunch of grown men whack - catch - or dunk a ball - or participating.
Watch me run and jump and try to throw a ball in a loop !
Watch me take this stick and skate across the rink and try to get this puck in a net !
Watch me bat this ball with a stick far far away and run run run to " safety " !
Watch me catch the ball - and rub myself - and spit while other men cheer !
Watch me get that ball in that teeny tiny hole way over there where that flag is !
Watch me grab this ball from him - and smash into them - leaving them unconscious as I get to that line !
I GET it - these are sports that they've played ( or wished they had ) since childhood - it's deeply ingrained in their phyche ...............
I wonder what they'd think if we just plunked ourselves down on the floor and started playing with Barbies ?
Maybe we should start professional Barbie playing teams?
Wouldn't the play-offs be fascinating?
At the very least it would give US a reason to sit on the couch like zombies and not do anything !
Barbie and Ken are having an argument over a Malibu Mini Van !
I've been waiting all week to see this !
I went out to the mud room ( I don't know what else to call it )
It should be called the flimsily made addition to the back of the house that's precariously tilting to one side and ready to disconnect itself from the house and run in terror
Anyway - there was a very loud hissing noise - and water shooting up everywhere - yep - a pipe had burst !
The joys of
A) Living in an older fixer upper
B) Unheated mud rooms
C) Canada - almost anywhere
While we ran around frantically - with me screaming at John to turn off the water supply and him yelling back at me that he didn't know where it was - the water was literally about to wash the mudroom away completely ( and inevitably land in the swimming pool since that's what's closest to it )
I called at least 10 emergency plumbers as John ran up and down the street looking for an abstract Plumber taking a Sunday stroll...................
DO SOMETHING ! I screamed frantically from the door
I AM ! He responded from the street
GET IN HERE ! I begged..............
but he was already running up the street...........
And this is where sometimes the fates render me useless.
HE FOUND ONE !
AND I DIDN'T !
A neighbor was outside and mentioned that another neighbor 3 doors up was in fact a plumber.
He quickly fixed it - within minutes it was soldered and functioning perfectly ( and then he went downstairs to show John where the main water supply was )
As he was leaving and we were trying to shove money into his pocket - he told us this was his personal
" Welcome to the Neighborhood "
I almost cried.
What is it with random acts of kindness that make me terribly weepy?
" Listen " he explained - " I helped one of our neighbors renovate his house - and didn't charge him - it took us 3 months - so I'm NOT going to charge you for 15 minutes "
WOW........................there are people left like that in the world folks.................
Suzan says - Oh do you think you could help us finish this place off then ?
John shoved me with his elbow.
Just joking, I exclaimed.
( rubbing my shoulder )
As he was leaving he asked if I was a decorator - I looked at him dumbfounded - this dump?
What's finished is gorgeous - he said - really just gorgeous
I almost cried.
What is it with random acts of kindness that make me terribly weepy?
And it WAS an act of kindness - because there's nothing gorgeous about this place - trust me - not yet anyway - ( I still have the tiniest bit of hope left though - not much but a little )
Can you do ceilings? I shouted out as he was walking down the path...................
I made plans.....................
Do you need a top up of your tea or coffee? Go ahead...................
I'll just keep talking while you're busying yourself.
I've gone my entire life not ever wondering what the A and the W stood for in A & W...................
Isn't that strange? I can still sing the original jingle - and never gave the initials a single thought.
They stand for................
Roy W Allen and Frank Wright .....................(no relation to the Wright Brothers )
Hop in your car - come as you are
( if it had been the Wright brothers - it would have been " hop in your plane " obviously )
If you didn't know this little bit of trivia - you're welcome
If you did - I DON'T want to play Trivia Pursuit with you.
My Grandmother ( Helen Egan - you can " meet " her HERE ) was good friends with
OSCAR PETERSON when they were younger - here in Montreal - before he hit the big time ( forgive me if I've mentioned this before - me and my name dropping )
They'd often eat lunch at each other's houses................
She was also childhood friends with someone who went on to be a huge name with the Mafia - not mentioning that name out of total fear...............
An Angel and a Devil - and she was somewhere in between.
When I like something - I like it. I love it. I want some more of it...............( thanks Tim McGraw for putting into words so elegantly what I've struggled with for a lifetime )
My daughter brought me home this Owl Night Light from Florida - she got it at T.J. Maxx...............
Mom says - Oh I love this Lindsay !
Lindsay says - Thought you would
Mom says - Is there anyway I can get 2 or 3 more
Lindsay says - No Mom - it was the last one actually
Mom says - Aren't your in-laws still in Florida ? ( they winter there )
Lindsay says - Yes they are
Mom says - Do you think your MIL could maybe check out another TJ Maxx for me and pick them up - I'll pay her when she gets back
Lindsay says - PLEASE TELL ME YOU AREN'T SERIOUS?
John says - You're Mother always wants everything in bulk - I had to buy 5 birdhouses last week.
Lindsay says - I'm not very comfortable asking her to run all over Florida looking for nightlights for my Mother
Mom says - Well she owes me
Lindsay says - WHAT?
Mom says - I let her Son marry my Daughter
Lindsay says - Maybe she thinks you owe her LOL
It's a disorder..................I know that - I think it's called MULTIPLE-ITIS...............I have to work on it.
I've been pining away here for Spring to really arrive - I check the advanced weather forecast constantly - and the thought occurred to me this morning -
I'm wishing my life away here -
It'll come - why do I have to always wish things were here already?
I'm watching a young neighbor ( as I type ) sadly walking around the hockey rink his Dad built him this Winter. His little shoulders are slumped - he's kicking stray bits of leftover ice - it's the ultimate Canadian heartbreak for a young Hockey Player.
There's nothing sadder to see.
Except for the lady looking down at him from her window willing it to vanish completely.
Sometimes I really do feel like Mrs. Kravitz ( bonus points if you remember her )
I almost want to kneel down and gently put my arms around him - and .......................
scream SO SAD - TOO BAD - it's not like you won't be able to play every single winter of your life !
I love kids - it's the cold that's doing it to me, I swear !
If I see one more couple whine about the colors on the walls of a perfectly fine house - I'm going to throw a tin of paint at the television
( as opposed to simply turning the t.v. off - because obviously I quite enjoy the " getting mad " experience )
But the one that totally kills me is House Hunters International - you know which episodes I'm talking about - the ones where the couples explain to us that they want a TOTAL European ( or wherever ) experience - to broaden their horizons so to speak - and then can't even get past the difference in houses.
They want to live on another continent in a NORTH AMERICAN HOUSE !!!!!!!!!!!
They whine about the size of the rooms
They whine about the kitchens
They whine about stairs
They whine about closets
They whine about bathrooms
AND then explain to the realtor that bathrooms at home are larger than the bedroom and they just don't know how it'll work for them.
I cringe. I literally cringe.
I wonder if they realize how self entitled they come across as?
As they're wringing their hands and fretting over this huge culture shock ( the size of a room ) the realtor - with a little disdain - patiently explains to us ignoramuses watching that houses aren't the same in ITALY,FRANCE,SPAIN,ENGLAND.......................when really what they want to say is -
GO HOME YOU UNCOUTH NORTH AMERICANS !
There are however a few couples that are an absolute joy to watch !
Enjoy every single second of your weekend.
EVERY. SINGLE. SECOND.