I think I'm going insane - really - I mean that - something is just not right -
I have a dresser that never sold so decided it was time to change it up a little - a quick job - nothing to it at all - except for the fact that I took out a tin of white paint - and gave it one coat - and then decided I would do some of the trim in a soft pink - so out came the My Color by Pantone pink that I used on this mirror -
the paint simply vanished.
ABSOLUTELY. VANISHED. INTO. THIN. AIR.
I looked for it for well over an hour ( probably longer but who's counting ) walked up and down the hall - and checked everywhere.
It got to the point where I actually looked in my purse - thinking well if you're going insane than you never know, right? And with great trepidation I opened the fridge door - terrified that it might be sitting there with the milk I put back after making a tea, but nope, not there either -
I checked the bathroom and finally got down on all fours and starting looking under tables, very aware of the fact that had I found it under a table that would have been even more terrifying because that would have meant I got down on all fours to hide it in the first place.
I even got up in the middle of typing this post to look again -
This time slower - methodically - because a quart of paint cannot disappear - unless I were living with Kreskin or David Copperfield or Houdini - but since I'm not, I can't blame John who has no magic skills whatsoever - in fact he was in bed fast asleep when all this was going on.
I looked under the dining room table in case I had put it on one of the chairs ( don't ask, all rationality had completely vanished by this point.
I looked in the drawers of the dresser that I was working on.
I looked in the dining room hutch ( where of course I store paints )
So now I'm starting to go insane - the hotflashes are starting - I'm near tears - and I'm thinking
" I know it's staring me right in the face "
I went to the kitchen and checked the garbage can - looked in the sink - and the bathtub -
I came back into the office and checked the cabinet and then looked under the desks -
I went back into the living room where I have a big blanket I keep on the chair for Soda and very very carefully lifted it up ( I didn't want paint spilling all over the furniture after all )
I then got on my hands and knees again - and crawled all over the dining room and the living room once more - thinking Dear God - I'm far too young for this to be happening - and the thought crossed my mind that this is what it must be like just before you actually go insane - that moment when you think Oh Oh - it's official.
I went into the foyer and checked the shoe rack - I looked inside the T.V. cabinet - and the longer it took the more determined I was - this was not going to happen to me dammit -
I went back into the bathroom and checked the towel cupboard -
I checked the storage ottoman - and please believe me when I tell you I knew with all certainty that the paint could not possibly be in any of these places - but have you noticed when you can't find something all sane thoughts just disappear?
Finally I had to give in - and tell myself that I would make a doctors appointment (and pray that John wouldn't wake up in the morning and ask what the paint was doing on the hood of the car ) and started putting everything away in the armoire where I keep some of my paints and lo and behold ...................
Ok - I know I took this out - I absolutely know I took it out -
My house is 100 years old - and if the thought never occurred to me before - I now know without a doubt,
IT'S HAUNTED. Phew, I'm so relieved I can't tell you because it's far better to have a prankster poltergeist than to accept the alternative. ( be very leery of these creatures - they love to hide keys too )
Can you see her hiding in the armoire? Please tell me I'm not the only one - because then I'll have to admit I'm 5 bristles short of a paint brush.
That's my story - ( and of course you know I'm sticking to it )
And I really was scared for a bit!