Tuesday, April 12, 2016

I'M SORRY.....

I really am.


I've struggled ( and very literally it's been a huge one ) with how to write up this post.
Every night I walk into the office and sit at the computer but the words don't come.
I end up sitting and staring out the window for far too long before giving up and leaving the room.

I published a post on March 18......a post I had already written up and so I simply had to hit publish or there wouldn't have been one on that day either because of something that happened on March 11.

"A South Shore family is in mourning, trying desperately to understand how their daughter ended up driving the wrong way on Highway 30 East, near St. Constant last Friday morning, slamming head on into a pick up truck.
Angie Adelin was just 36 years old, a few weeks shy of her 37th birthday. She was on her way home to Chateauguay after working 18 hours straight.
Her mom, Joanne Breen, stresses her daughter didn't often work a triple shift and didn't need to, but was hoping to earn a few extra dollars for a family vacation and for her two young daughters, aged 9 and 13.
She says police are investigating all avenues.
"Maybe she was just tired, it was very dark, it's very, very dark on the 30 where she came from working." says Breen.
Breen says on top of the poor visibility, there is a lack of road signs in the area and hopes Transport Quebec will look into that. 
"It's a very bad turn, I almost did it myself one time, and there's no signs not to go in or out." she says.
The SQ says there were no skid marks or any sign of brake activity at the crash scene. Officers spent the last few days trying to reconstruct what happened. "

This accident made headlines.  It was heartbreaking to hear about - a young woman in the prime of her life gone in such a senseless accident. It was all people spoke about for days and it's all I've been thinking about for the past month.
JoAnnie Breen...........a dear friend was the mother the article mentions.  And Angie was her life.
The older you get the more funerals you attend.  I have a funeral face by now.  I can offer comfort without falling apart ( took many many years to be able to do that ) I can say words that comfort more often then not and I've learned to be strong even if that means falling apart in the car when I leave. But this one? 
It threw every single one of us into an unrecognizable state.  I've been crying for a month most days. It's left me feeling vulnerable and frightened and more angry than I should be.
And most of all it's left me without the power to write.
For now.
I know it'll come back..............be patient with me?
I miss you all - I just have to sort out the jumbled rambling mess that's in my brain.
ANGIE ADELIN
MARCH 16 - 1979
TO 
MARCH 11 - 2016
ROCK ON BEAUTIFUL GIRL

GONE TOO SOON




Much love
and again my apologies if I caused any of you concern
Hugs,
Really really tight ones.
Me

70 comments:

  1. Dear Suzan, you have nothing to apologize for. I'm sure many readers have wondered if you were OK, I certainly have. I'm glad you shared with us, as it gives those who do, something specific to pray for. Please heal in your own way, in your own time, and know we'll ble glad to hear from you again when you're ready.

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  2. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll pray for you, darling. Terrible.

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  3. Oh Suzan, I'm so sorry for your loss and this young lady's family. I'm assuming you knew her well, possibly great friends. It's always hard to lose someone in the prime of their life. Hugs and prayers!

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  4. Dear Suzan, my heart breaks for you and of course, for your dear friend and her beloved daughter. Praying for all of you. Jane

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  5. I'm so sorry for your lost, Susan! Losing a dear friend, especially in a sudden and tragic way, can be just as heartbreaking as losing a close family member. I had wondered why you hadn't been posting. Take your time in healing. We'll still be here for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. Please take care of yourself.

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  6. I am so sorry. Unfortunately I know about lives taken too soon. Its a very hard thing to endure. Hang in there, I'll be thinking of you.

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  7. Oh so sorry. How heartbreaking. Hugs

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  8. I find it interesting how certain events pull on our hearts in different ways. This is a tragic event and it speaks to all of us on the fragile nature of our lives. You have a kind and tender heart and maybe God is using you to remind us all of the preciousness and beauty we have around us every day. Thank you for sharing this tragic story so that we can grasp the goodness we've been given. Prayers for you and for this family.

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  9. Good morning, Suzann. Death is hard enough to accept without it being the unexpected demise of a young person. We are programmed to think we will outlive, our young. Take your time and be there for your friend and her family. Blessings to all, Sandi

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  10. Suzan my heart goes out to you and the family involved. So tragic. Praying for some kind of comfort for all of you.
    This kind of tragedy just does not make sense. So sorry.
    Hugs,
    Kris

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  11. Dear Suzan, I am so very sorry for this terrible loss in your life. I have been wondering where you were so I'm glad you shared this post today and that you, yourself, are okay. My sympathies to you and your friend in this loss. God bless you with peace and comfort. xx Pam

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  12. My heart goes out to you, and to her family ~

    {{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}

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  13. I'm so sorry to hear of this devastating loss. May you be comforted and find peace in the days to come.

    Hugs,
    Tamara <3

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  14. I'm so sorry Suzan. Such a senseless tragedy. Prayers for your friend and her family, and a great big hug to you....hang in there. xxoo

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  15. I am so very sorry about your loss and I know how hard it is to accept a accident like this. The only way I can get through these kinds of loss is, this was her time to be with God. We don't understand it and probably never will as it leaves a terrible hole in everyone's heart. But remember all the wonderful things about your friend and celebrate her life. Be there for her family.

    God bless you Suzan.

    Hugs,
    Mary

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  16. So very sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your friend.

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  17. I am so sorry this happened to all of you. It's too much to take in...your friend, her daughter, the girls...too much. This is going to take awhile...let it. Live all the experiences and feelings each day... and each day a good memory will remind you of what you have. Thank God for memories. God bless.

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  18. I am so sorry you are grieving. So very tragic and a senseless loss of someone so special and so young. My thoughts will be with you Suzan.

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  19. I've missed you my friend. Plain and simple. I am certain we all have. It is as if there is an invisible thread that connects us to your heart. I knew. While I did not know what, I knew. I am so very sorry. I am sorry for you. I am sorry for Joanne Breen. I am sorry for Angie Adelin and the loss felt by those who loved her and were deeply loved by her. I hold you all deeply in my prayers. And we do understand. And we will wait until the time is right for you to heal. And in this time I will continue to pray for all of you...Nanny

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  20. I am very sorry Suzan. There are no words for such a tragic loss.

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  21. Sending you a hug (((Suzan))) -Marci @ Stone Cottage Adventures

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  22. {{{HUGS}}} dear one. Take all the time you need to grieve. We will be here.

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  23. oh dear Suzan, my heart is heavy for your friend, her family and for you. When something this senseless and tragic happens it completely knocks us flat. I understand being in this season, at my age there seem to be more and more funerals to attend. Our parents, aunts and uncles are all aging and while it is all so difficult the loss of someone so young is another beast altogether. You have been on my mind and was wondering what was keeping you from posting. I was afraid it was a tragedy or an illness. You in no way need to apologize for your absence, hoping you all find comfort somewhere down the line. Sadly these losses are beginning to take more and more out of us. Grief is a constant ache that we learn to function with but never get over. Sending love and prayers your way.

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  24. Suzan, I so understand! #1 ~ Don't feel you must apologize for anything. Your heart is broken and you need time to sort through your feelings. Grief is a different process for each person ~ please be gentle with yourself, rest when you can and, above all, don't worry about your blog! I have times that I just can't write or post or visit. It's just the way it is.

    I so wish I were closer! I'd love to give you huge Texas hugs and make a pot of tea. You could wrap up in a soft quilt and just "be". I wish I could do something for your friend also. Losing a child is just not the normal way of life and there's no pain like it. I will hold all of you in prayer and send strength, peace and love.

    xoxo
    Pat

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  25. No need for you to apologise (although I must confess I was wondering/worrying a bit whether something was wrong) I completely understand and am so sorry for your loss. My heart especially goes out to Angie's mother. I spent many months last year comforting a close friend who lost her son at only 27, it was sudden (a seizure probably brought on by epilepsy) and absolutely devastating. Just as life was getting back to some semblance of normality a good friend of my daughters was found dead, he was 25. Death is always hard to deal with but to lose someone too young is the worst. I hope you can stay strong for your friend but remember to take care of yourself too...Hugs from England Gerry Xxx

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  26. I am so sorry and extend my condolences to you, her family and everyone whose life this touches. A tragedy such as this is next to impossible to understand. May you find peace and comfort with each other. Blessings and love.

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  27. I have been concerned since shortly after March 18th when your posts no longer appeared in my inbox. Thanks for letting us know what has happened--I'm so sorry for the reason. Sometimes life just doesn't make any sense. Please let your friend know that there are many of us remembering her in prayer. We'll still be here whenever you are able to make your way back to writing again. Blessings and love, Ruth Anne

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  28. oh how sad for a young life to be taken away from her family. Take the time you need to become stronger. Life sometimes just drags us down and we need the time to get our emotional balance back. I have been there. I am guessing many of us have. Take care. Sheila

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  29. My deepest sympathies to this young woman's family and friends..... all that knew and loved her.....and to you as well, dear one.

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  30. Awe Susan . I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. Such a senseless tragedy , makes no wonder you can't get your head unscrambled. Thank you for posting and letting us know...I had noticed that you haven't posted in a while and I was wondering if I had been accidently removed from your mailing list or if you were sick, etc. Take all the time you need to heal...we'll all be waiting for you :). Miss you nutty perspective on life and look forward to you getting your mojo back. Big hugs. Keeping you and Angie's family in my thoughts and prayers.

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  31. So very sorry my friend! May Our Lord always hold you close! Hugs!!

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  32. I am so very, very sorry for your horrendous loss. No apologies needed on your part. Many hugs sent your way. xoxo

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  33. Oh. Now I understand why you've been absent. I'm so so sorry. How painful, how senseless. Life sure can suck, can't it?a big, big hug for you and prayers for Angie's family. Take all the time you need. Love you!
    Cecilia

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  34. I'm so sorry for your loss. I, too, have lost people dear to me and I know the pain of losing those we feel are gone too soon. Your loyal friends are mourning with you, crying with you and praying for you. We will be right here to laugh with you when you return. Feel better soon! My prayers are with you and the bereaved family. Hugs and kisses from your loyal reader.

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  35. Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. My thoughts are with you.

    Tania

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  36. I am so sorry I could just die...it's so so hard to try to understand the things that happen in life...
    to hard. Prayers for all.

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  37. I must add that the same thing happened to my daughter's brother in law...he was 21...turned into the wrong side, too and hit head on with another car that two teens were in, coming home from their prom...all were killed instantly...this was over 20 yrs ago and we still cry over it

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  38. I am lost for words - so very sad. Sending hugs your way from the west. You are all in my thoughts. We will be right here waiting when you have the strength to return.
    xo

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  39. My dear friend, we must have all sensed something devastating had happened. My prayers are with you and all who are feeling the sadness of this. I truly hope you can find the peace and comfort you sorely need at this time. Love you, xxxxx

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  40. I was just listening to Ariana Huffington talk about the problems of sleep deprivation. She talked about the problem of working long shifts.

    I am so sorry that your friend lost a daughter and her children lost a mother. Life sucks sometimes!

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  41. Dear Suzan, I am so sorry about the loss of such a young and beautiful girl. I have been praying for you and her family since I heard about it. Take care of yourself! I am so sad to hear how it has affected you.
    You and her family are in my thoughts and pryers.
    Laura

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  42. Loss is just that - a deep dark hole of nothing where something beautiful was and it makes no sense at all to the ones left dealing with it. Hugs and love to the children now without a mother and a mother without a cihild. I can't fathom the why either. I also feel sad for the other driver, I'm sure there are questions with no answers there (if they survived). A horrible tragic loss that can only be band-aided together with love, strength, anger and buckets of tears I know you will help as you can. Love to all. Patty

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  43. Dear Friend,
    I am praying for you and the family.
    Love, Carla

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  44. I am so sorry to hear this tragic news. I feel your pain. We never know in life what tomorrow will bring.
    My thoughts are with you. Take care of yourself. xo

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  45. Oh Suz, I am so terribly sorry. It's beyond sad. This sweet gal is only a half year older than my eldest daughter - puts things into perspective for me. I am so heartbroken for her young daughters. Oh my golly.

    I am sending up prayers for anyone touched by this sad loss.

    Don't worry about blogland, we take care of our own and will be here when you feel like coming back.

    Big caring hugs,

    Michele

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  46. I'm so sorry for your loss Suzy!

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  47. So sorry for your loss and the heartbreak for everyone who knew this young woman. Sometimes things and events are just so inexplicable. We just can't imagine this tragedy happening to us or anyone we know. Everyone of your blog friends will be thinking of you and yes, we will be OK until you feel like you want to write again. Your ability to connect and just be like "one of our friends" by the way you describe your everyday life is what endears you to us. After the rain, there will be sun again. Take care-Prayers sent for you and your good friend JoAnnie.

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  48. I've been praying for you since you stopped posting. I treasure your blog because though you are funny, you also share so much of yourself with us. I knew for you to be silent something had happened. I continue to pray for peace, comfort, and strength for all. Thank you for the courage it took to write to us and let us know what was going on.

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  49. With everything going on here with hubby's health, I have not been following blogs and rarely ever visit anyone. Kris told me about this so I had to pop over to tell you how very, very sorry I am. I will never understand, this side of Heaven, why things happen as they do. It is scary and sickening and so senseless for this young mom to be gone. She is the same age as my son. I am so sorry- your muse will come back-give yourself time....Love to you- xo Diana

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  50. Suzan,
    I'm so sorry this was the sad reason why you weren't writing anymore. Sometimes events happen that make writing seem so futile that we don't know what to write anymore. I do hope you'll come back when you feel like it. There's no point rushing it, no need to apologize either. You take your time, knowing we all think about you in those difficult moments. Hugs.

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  51. Suzan, I'm so sorry for your loss. There are no words for such a terrible tragedy.

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  52. Awe Suzan....I am so sorry for you. Please know that I am thinking about you and her dear family. Prayers are with you all at this tragic time. Hugs for you.

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  53. Suzan, so sorry to hear this sad news from your world. Prayers to all and especially your friend JoAnnie, to recover from the brokenness she must feel. We have missed your writings, but you come back when you feel like it....in the meantime, we will be thinking of you.

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  54. So sorry to hear of this tragedy, may everyone find peace and strength in knowing that so many care

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  55. Knew something was not right in your world, but so sorry to hear this was the reason. Hugs to you & prayers for those touched by this tragic loss.

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  56. So tragic, Suzan. And I always think of the 'if only's'. If only she had...If only they had... But there really are no answers for us here, for now. I am so sorry for your loss, for I know you feel the hurt your friend is feeling. xoxo

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  57. Suzane I am so saddened to hear of the loss of your friend. My prayers are with you and her family.

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  58. Oh Suzan, OH Suzan....Oh Oh Oh Suzan. I am so sorry. ((((((hugs)))))

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  59. Miss you. Hoping you can recover soon. Go smell your grandbaby and rejoice in the giving of life. The taking of life hurts too badly and can overwhelm anyone. Know there will be a tomorrow soon for your dear friend.

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  60. I follow your blog - I feel like you're my friend - my heart aches for you. It's true, what you said, the older you get the more funerals one attends. Words don't seem to offer much comfort at times like this. I'm so sorry for your loss and am sending you hugs and prayers. Heaven has one more beautiful angel up there.

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  61. So very very sorry to hear of this senseless tragedy. Take time and take care of yourself.

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  62. Hey Suzan....Just checking in to see how you are doing! I am thinking about you and I wanted you to know. HUGS XOXO

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  63. I'm so sorry, Suzan. There are no words for a tragedy like this. Condolences to you, to Angie's family, and to all that knew her.

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  64. Dear Suzan,
    We all have had times when someone's passing hits us more than others. In my case, it was a co-worker's husband dtying in a traffic accident at 30. Left a three year old son. Every anniversary of his death I think about him and sometimes she and I talk about him. Each day gets easier and you will get your mojo back. We all miss your wit and your creative ideas. Take care

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  65. I am so sorry, Suzan. I know, first hand, how hard it is to comfort the grieving when we are also hurting inside for the loss. Healing takes time but I hope your sadness will lessen with each passing day.

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  66. How are you? I'm thinking about you. I hope you will be back soon.

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Due to a large amount of spam ( that I'm tired of going back to posts and deleting ) I'll be using comment moderation from now on !!!
Can I beat these spammers at their own game? Probably not - but I'm going
to try my damnedest !!!
xoxo