Friday, December 30, 2016

A FRIDAY CHAT ( about this & that )

Oh my gosh - oh my gosh - oh my gosh - how IS everybody?

Life is over the top crazy busy for me right now - we just welcomed another baby into the family -
Wyatt Grayson Tomalty.........
He's Evan's little brother and such a little beauty !

I was going to try to use him as an excuse for not blogging for the last 8 months ( can that really even be possible - 8 months  ? )
But he was just born last I don't think anyone will buy it, you?

The office got a makeover did the dining room ( well most of it ) and hopefully we're on to the downstairs bathroom soon.

I just realized that I never even told you all about our Paris trip - holy cow - I'm behind.

Anyway, I just wanted to slip in here and wish everyone the Happiest of New Years..........and leave you with a little ditty.

I haven't been overly diligent recording our conversations, and there's been some doozies that I've let slip away - but last night?

John says - I feel like a Pea Knuckle
Suzan says - Why? What did you do now?
John says - Huh?  I didn't do anything - just feel like one
Suzan says - Well that's weird...........
John says - Maybe we could have some for New Years Eve ?
Suzan says - What?
John says - Pea Knuckles
Suzan says - I have no idea what you're talking about?
Suzan says - Is that a British dessert or something?
Suzan says - No - I really haven't ..........I thought you were calling yourself that !
John says - I'm going to make you one !  You'll love it !
John says - It's made with rum and coconut
Suzan says - O.M.G. - are you talking about a Pina Colada?
John says - Yah !  Pea knuckle lada, that's it !
John says - Have you ever had one?

But I was on the floor at this point - crawling to the bathroom - so that I wouldn't pee my pants

BAM !  When I think our conversations are getting a little boring - he delivers.
Every. Single. Time !

I promise to try to be a little better this year - keep you up to date on what John says at the very least because they are too priceless not to be recorded lol.

Love to you all - every single one of you
Kisses too
( now go make yourselves a Pea Knuckle )

Holy crap - I forget how to include my signature !
Okay got it !

Friday, August 12, 2016

A FRIDAY CHAT ( about this & that )

Well, well, well, look who's back !

I thought I'd write up a post this morning to let you all know that I'm at the very least alive ;)
Busy - frantically so - but alive !

Come in !
Quickly !

There's a heatwave happening here..............and when you add the humidity ( Montreal is an island - like Manhattan ) HOLY COW!  100 degrees of dry heat is nothing like 100 degrees of humidity.
There's warnings on the weather network daily - for the very young and very old to be extremely careful ( the rest of us can go to hell LOL )

So I had a dentist appointment yesterday.
I had one tooth bonded and an old filling updated.
On 2 different sides of my mouth - both uppers.
Today I look like I had a lip job done.
Jesus how he wept WHY DOES EVERYTHING turn into SOMETHING with me?
Routine appointments.  People walk in and walk out looking the exact same.
I walk out with lips 3 times the size they were upon entering.
But looking on the bright side of things - I can now remove lip enlargement off my list of things I'd like to do one day.


I haven't been writing down the things John says for quite awhile now ( well since I've been too lazy to blog )
So I'm scrambling around here trying to remember a few of our conversations.........
But this one is a doozy.

John says - I'm going to give blood next week
Suzan says - Oh that's nice !
John says - What the hell is nice about it?
Suzan says - I think it's a wonderful thing to do John
John says - You sound like you've got a screw loose, you know that?
Suzan says - What IS the matter with you?  I'm giving you a compliment.  And I'm also proud of you!
John says - Well I should have blood tests more often!
Suzan says - Blood Tests?  YOU SAID YOU WERE GIVING BLOOD !
John says - I am !
Suzan says - So why are you talking about blood tests for crying out loud?
Suzan says - Then you're not GIVING you even know the difference?

We had to get some shopping done yesterday for our trip next month ( Look out Paris here I come )
We have an on-going discussion every time we get in the car.
It's now part of our schtick.

I open the passenger window all the way down.
John opens his half an inch.

Suzan says - It's beautiful out - why don't you open your window all the way?
Suzan says - But I want a cross breeze !

I swear to you I believe this to be true.
He's afraid that when the breeze blows his hair around that he'll lose some !

If he's alone in the car the windows are closed - no air on - just driving around the city on a beautiful day sealed in his little chamber nice and air tight like.

Suzan says - It's not normal !
John says - YOU'RE NOT NORMAL !

Truth is neither of us are...........but he's a little less so than I don't you think?

We have an ongoing debate going on in Montreal that's very embarrassing to write about.  Especially if you're an animal lover.
They're trying to ban pit bulls here.
For such an exciting forward thinking province we have such antiquated laws and now they want to add this to an already bizarre maze of  them?
We already have to deal with language laws that no other place in the western free world practices and now this?
When will people use the common sense they were born with and realize it's not the dog it's the owners?
To ban a whole breed of an animal?
Not just English speaking ones either !
It's sick.
( for those of you south of our border - don't judge - you have one running for office )

So I got side tracked again - I mentioned I was out shopping yesterday - I didn't mention what I was shopping for exactly, did I ?
OMG - I spent time during a heat wave to try on sausage casing !
I found one that made ( most of - there was still remnants ) my tummy much flatter.
Only thing is it made my already flat ass completely disappear.
Nothing's in proportion with me.
In order to have a butt I have to gain enough weight that I actually look pregnant in the front.
I've lost some weight so the last thing I need right now is an undergarment that removes my backside.
( for those of you south of our border - don't judge - you have one running for office )

Most of you know that we're in the fabric business.
Years ago - 10 or so - when we were doing business in Manhattan and we booked an appointment with a man who made ties and shirts.
It was such a disagreeable meeting that we decided we'd rather not do business with that person's company at all.
All of his merchandise was made outside of the U.S. and he wouldn't pay for quality.
Sometimes you make decisions based on gut feelings.
( for those of you south of the border - don't judge - he's now running for office. )

And those of you that support him - lighten up !
Jokes people.  They're only jokes.
You he tells !

Often - when John and I are out - if one of us stops the other just continues walking - blissfully unaware.
It's usually John.
I turn around to point something out in a window and he's gone ( baby gone )
So that trip to Paris?
We've been invited to a fancy evening out.
I bought sandals for it.

John says - What the hell is all that clunking and banging going on up there ?
Suzan says - I'm just practicing walking around in my new sandals.
John says - It sounds like an elephant stomping around up there
Suzan says - Thanks John.

Here's the new sandals.

I have one month to RElearn how to walk in heels this high.

John says - They're as tall as the Eiffel Tower for God sakes !

I have a fear of tumbling down on the Champs Elysees and looking up frantically from the ground for John and............
gone baby gone.

That's it for today folks -
I have a huge transformation I'm working on - who knows - it may end up a post on it's own one day!
Okay - okay - here's a sneak peak

It's NOT mine ( wish it were )

You all have a wonderful weekend -
I'm off to Quebec City for the weekend ............where the only remaining fortified city walls exist in North America ..........north of Mexico.
For now anyway.

Bon Weekend mes amis !


Friday, June 24, 2016

A FRIDAY CHAT ( about this & that )

Good wonderful Friday morning all !

Don't just stand there - come in !!!

There's tea in the kitchen - and coffee - and water of course
( tea and coffee and water - tea and coffee and water - tea and coffee and water )

I'm repeating it because because that's what I've started doing.
When I need something like oh I don't know - lets say scissors
By the time I walk into the kitchen to get them I've completely forgotten what I've gone into the kitchen for.
I stand there wracking my brains for a bit - shrug and walk away and it's only when I've left the room that I remember I needed scissors.

So now I say it repeatedly.
Scissors - scissors - scissors.
Sometimes I'll say it repeatedly and then notice something else as I'm walking by and be totally thrown off - but usually it works.

So lets see
Last week I left you off where my Mother used to cut our hair and someone mentioned that they used to get perms.
And that reminded me of something dreadful.
We were staying at my grandmothers one weekend and one of my grandmothers ( Nana Estelle - you can read about my 2 grandmothers HERE ) decided to take me to the hairdressers to get me a perm.

Our Father  ( who art in Heaven )

I was 5 years old when I walked in
And I was 85 years old when I walked out.

I looked like a miniature little old lady.
It was horrid.
Very very short and very very tight little curls.
Like Little Orphan Annie.

( so there would be proof forever more )
I tried to find the photo but on my way to look for it I noticed fluff on the floor and got the vacuum out instead )
I'll try to find it though, I promise because I could never write in words anything as funny as that picture.

One last story about hair and then I'm done with that subject.

I'm a natural blonde ( or was a natural blonde I suppose ) but in my late teens I decided I wanted jet black hair.

A quick visit to the pharmacy took care of that and off I went on a night out on the town with a group of friends - my long flowing raven hair blowing in the wind.

I personally thought I looked very exotic...........Italian or Spanish - until someone pointed out that I still had blonde eyebrows.

I had never considered that.
Which left me realizing you can take the blonde out of a dumb blonde but you can't take the ...............

Another memory hit me last weekend.
I can remember the family ( and when I say family I mean extended as well ) all piling into 2 cars.
Probably 20 of us - like a clown car.
Back in the 60's we didn't wear seat belts - and I can vividly recall adults sitting on the actual seats and us kids piled down on the floor at their feet.
OMG - how dangerous.
OMG - how exciting !
You could fit 3 - possibly 4 adults in the front ( one large seat - no " bucket seats " then )
and 5 or 6 in the back - babies sat on laps with a hand draped across them - and then you stuffed kids into all the spare spaces
You know, the way you pack a suitcase when going on a trip - we would have been the socks so to speak.
All the adults would be smoking and hacking up a lung so it was probably the safest place to be down there.
Our destination would be the country side - where water was to be precise and as soon as we hit the country roads the kids would pile out and clamber up onto the roof of the cars.
Trees and branches would be ducked under and we'd sit up there like Kings of the Road.
Breathing the clean air.
Yelling like Tarzan.  Giggling until we nearly fell off.
Upon reaching the beach area all the adults would tumble out - and coolers and folding chairs would be taken out of the trunks.
We'd spend the entire day there.
Koolaid and p & j sandwiches would flow.  Or koolaid and chopped egg salad.  Or koolaid and cheese slice sandwiches.
With ripple chips.
RIPPLE - not ruffle.
It was ( and is ) one of my fondest childhood memories.

How we survived I have no idea - but survive we did.
Actually we thrived.
When I look at how careful we all are now I look back wistfully and think of those summer days.
Dangerous ?
Yeah - our childhoods were pretty dangerous looking back.....
But crowded spaces make for close families.
The state of the world today - in 2016 is a far more frightening thing to reflect on.
So much division and fear that all I want to do is crawl into the back of a chevy - curl up on the floor at my grandmother's feet and stay there for an entire summer coming up only when the coast is clear and the scariest thing is a tree branch whacking me in the head.

When you're raised in an era of tearing down walls - watching them being built back up is heartbreaking.
Whether it's necessary or not is beside the question for now.  Just the very act of it fills me with an emotion that I'm not quite sure how to articulate.
But it's heavy.
The feeling is heavy.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend everyone !
Maybe I'll talk John into going to the country - and I'll sit on the roof as soon as the city roads are behind us !
I need some Old Fashioned fun this weekend.

Love - always love

Friday, June 17, 2016

A FRIDAY CHAT ( about this & that )

Good beautiful sunny hot Friday morning everyone !

This blogging thing has become so sporadic for me that I'm not sure anyone even reads it - I may just be blogging to myself ( much like I talk to myself in real life ) but these random thoughts keep pushing at my brain until I have no choice but to sit down and type them's the only way they leave !

I know that hair ( chin especially ) is an ongoing theme in my world ( and my blog ) but I've never mentioned the actual hair on my head.
Which grows like weed.

I had it all chopped off last month and it's long again.

I think I'd have to have it cut - and I mean cut not trimmed - at least every three weeks.

Which reminds me.

My Mother used to cut our hair ( and trust me on this - she was no hairdresser ) until we were old enough to hold a small fist up to her nose and hiss " back off lady "

This usually occurred right before school photos were taken - so that in most of my photos I'm smiling with bangs that are cut on a complete angle.

One year she decided to cut my brothers hair the night before the first day of school.
I watched on a stool in fascination knowing this was not going to end well.
It didn't.
He took one look in the mirror - shrieked and ran looking for something to hide it with.
All he could find was a gray woolen winter cap - which he promptly put on and went to bed.
That hat stayed on his head for weeks - he wore it to school everyday.
Looking back I'm wondering why he just didn't put a baseball cap on - but maybe that wouldn't have hidden enough.

Something else my Mother did - always - was put too much water in our " tang "
Trying to stretch out fake orange juice?
I never knew the difference until one day at a friends house - when I took a sip of hers and realized that we were being ripped off.
I remember asking her why it tasted so different than ours - it was delicious !
" your Mom's putting too much water in hers " she wisely advised me
" tell her and she'll stop "
To which I promptly did.
And to which my Mother reacted by telling me she certainly did NOT put too much water in our tang.
Why the very idea
And that if my friend jumped over a cliff would I follow suit.
Why would I suggest such a thing.
I mean she was REALLY offended by the mere suggestion !

But for some reason it DID stop tasting so watery shortly after.
I wish I'd kept in touch with that friend.
I could use someone with such wisdom in my life today !

Another thing we used to do back in the 60's ( and I'm quite certain no one does it today but who knows ) was to grab a hotdog from the package - cold - as a snack.
When I told John about this he was absolutely horrified.
I mean disgusted.
John says - How did you all not end up in the hospital?
Suzan says - Huh?
John says - It's raw meat for God Sakes !
Suzan says - It's a freaking cold cut rolled up in a tube !

BUT I had a friend who used to grab a chunk of raw minced meat and happily chomp on it.
I could gag remembering that - but she loved it.
( this was before anyone knew of steak tartare - which is just as disgusting to me )
She would also munch on raw potatoes.
She could have had a complete meal without ever turning the stove on.


Where was salmonella in the 60's and 70's ?

I used to think Salmonella was caused by eating bad salmon.......true that
You know - like Tuna-ella

I also had a cousin that would eat raw onions like apples.
My aunt would peel it and he'd eat it while tears ran down his face.
Why in God's name my aunt would do this I have no idea but I can tell you he never had a cold.
Not once growing up.
While we all coughed and blew our noses while munching on apples and bananas.

And now that I'm remembering food from my childhood - I never knew what a decent steak was until I got my first job and went out for dinner with a girlfriend.
She wanted steak -
I wasn't so big on the idea but decided to go along with her.

Steak in our house was always this big slab of very unappealing meat cut in half - fried until it was like a piece of liver on our plate.
Served with mashed potatoes and cream corn.
Or green beans ( string - with pimento - hated them )
Vegetables ( unless they were roots like carrots etc always came from a tin )
Anyway I never realized a steak could be so delicious !

I remember telling my mother about it - and telling her that the meat was supposed to be pink !

Pink?  She was quite horrified !
You'll get sick - You'll end up in the hospital !
I never did.
Nor have I ever told her that I quite prefer it red today.
Except now I feel so guilty eating animal that I seldom do.

Lets see now - what other ways did my mother try to save money?
Well there was one year when she felt she hadn't bought enough gifts for my youngest brother for Christmas.
I could split a gut in half remembering this story - I really could.

First of all she always went nuts at Christmas - truly - she never had to add anything but this particular year she felt he needed something more.

Christmas eve came and a neighbor who had just lost his wife brought his son over for dinner ( being Catholic we always celebrated - ate -  went to mass - opened gifts etc on Christmas Eve ) I was already an adult so I remember this as vividly as yesterday brother in the midst of tearing open presents screamed out -

" Hey - Santa Claus snuck in my room and took one of my old toys and gave it back to me "


I looked over at my Mother who was shaking with suppressed laughter.

I told my brother that maybe it was the same toy and Santa hadn't known he had it -

No - he assured me - it had the same mark on it from when it fell off his dresser -

" that's why I don't play with it anymore "

" what a rip off " he grumbled

The spoiled brat always got to go to a barber though LOL

Anyway what horrified my Mother most was not that she had squashed my brother's admiration for the man in red but that the neighbor had witnessed the whole Santa fiasco

Neighbors were very important in our childhood.
Well as much as neighbors were allowed to be.
When things got too loud my Mother would run around closing all the windows.

Not because of any concern for them............but because it was none of their Damned Business what was going on in our house.
Don't ask.
It's an Irish thing............

When I moved into my first apartment I remember the couple next door in a blow out fight - holy cow - the things they were saying to each other was unbelievable.
I heard every single word.
With a glass at my ear on my bedroom wall -
I'm hear to tell you that little trick works !

We used to go to a pool when I was a little girl - we'd swim in it for hours - jump in - holding our nose - little bathing caps on our head.
Recently I was in my old neighborhood and passed it.
The water doesn't pass my ankles.
Why we held our noses I have no idea.
And why we wore bathing caps when there was no way we could have gotten our hair wet in an inch of water is beyond me as well.  We'd have had to press our little heads into the concrete to even dampen it.
But those are such incredibly fond memories.

I meant to tell you the story about having our pool cleaned but now I've gone and talked too much once again - it'll have to wait for another Friday.
John's off to the hairdresser ( he doesn't go to barbers )
I offered to cut know to save some money - but he wasn't having any part of that
Some things are sacred.
As they should be.

You all have the most wonderful of weekends my friends -
Love to you all
Hugs too

Friday, June 3, 2016

A FRIDAY CHAT ( about this & that )

Good Morning All !

I've been working non stop the last month or so - on the house - the garden - furniture - but other than instagram I haven't been diligent with taking photos.

I did a beast of an armoire ( she's now a beauty ) that I should get around to posting and I've just finished a little chest.........maybe next week - for now I'm just going to sit around and chat with you and take a break !

Soooo..... you know my ongoing problem with chin hairs ?
I've mentioned it in passing on a few posts.
Well I was at the pharmacy a while back and found a mirror that magnifies by 15 percent !
No more problems !
I was actually excited to get home and get to work on those few stray hairs.



I sat down on the couch - brought my knees up to my chest - placed the mirror on my knees and positioned my face - tweezers in hand.

And then I screamed.

Grizzly Adams was staring back at me.

John says - from the other side of the couch - What the hell's the matter now ?
Suzan says - I'm like a gorilla - my entire face is covered in hair.
John says - No it's not - don't be ridiculous
John says - I'd like to be able to get through just one show.......just one of them without you interrupting with your foolishness - your face is not covered in hair.

But it is - and I had no idea.
I've been blissfully living my life totally unaware of that fact - grumbling now and then about a hair or two that I missed when putting makeup on.

I plucked out two or three and gave up.

And now I'm wondering - if anyone has really great eyes - can they see that?
Failing eye sight has it's advantages I must say.
That's why you can only hang around with people your own age - a young whipper snapper would probably spot that flaw immediately.
Dear God...........really just Dear God.

Suzan says - I look like Grizzly Adams
John says - Who the hell is that?

Jesus Mary and Joseph.
Growing up in a large extended ( and boisterous ) Irish family - that expression was heard often.
Usually shouted out.
So it was JESUS - MARY AND JOSEPH ! this and JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH ! that.
I never considered it blasphemy because our Priest would say it himself - with a thick brogue - as he sat at my Grandmother's kitchen table smoking cigarettes and having a glass of whisky.
But this is the way I always think of it
JESUS !  MARY !  ( and Joseph )
Like Joseph is an after thought.
I always picture Joseph kind of just walking 2 steps behind with his head bowed.
Skulking around there somewhere in the background.
Just a random thought I thought I'd throw in there.

Anyway one day in school ( elementary ) someone slammed the door and I jumped - yelling out
Jesus Mary ( and Joseph ) !
To which the " sister " - ( sister Mary something or other ) came swishing down to my desk with a ruler in her hand ( the nuns in our school used these as weapons - tools of the trade so to speak )  holding it up in the air in a threatening manner

- You will NOT use the Lord's name in vain in this classroom ( leaving a young impressionable mind to think it was ok to do so outside of the classroom )
- But Father McKinty says it all the time - I replied

To which the ruler came smashing down on my desk so hard that it snapped in half -
I don't know how much the Catholic School Board spent in rulers -  but they were constantly being smashed in half by furious nuns.
They had anger issues - I swear to you.

Later when I told the story to my Grandmother - she pff'ed it off - saying
" What the hell does she know - she's not even Irish "

You can imagine the shock I felt upon learning that my Grandmother wasn't born in Ireland.
Her Father was.
Irish blood is the strongest blood on the planet.
Don't believe me?
Go to a St. Patrick's parade.  It flows like guinness.  I've seen Asians claim to be Irish in March.

The other night John looked at me funny.
Suzan says - Why are you looking at me like that?
John says - You have dark shadows under your eyes
John says - What ?  You're tired that's all
Suzan says - Now I''m going to go to bed thinking of Quentin and Barnabus
John says -  You're getting worse you know - with this constant jibberish
Suzan says - The show !  Dark Shadows - don't you remember it ?
John says - I think you make half this shit up

My brother and I would literally run home from school - gasping and out of breath to make sure we didn't miss one second of the terror this show created in our worlds.
Between that and Batman and angry nuns swinging rulers around - we spent a couple of years like little jittery nervous wrecks.
JESUS - MARY ( and Joseph ) !

Now I'm in a nostalgic frame of mind.
So before I bore you to death with my ramblings of way back when I think it's time to sign off.
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend my friends !

Hugs - and love

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

LIAR, LIAR ( s )

Good morning everyone :)

I've been posting so seldom that I've forgotten how to get into the rhythm of the whole thing - and then yesterday - BAM - I had something to blog about.
And warn you about.

But first I need to explain that I'm an IKEA expert - I really am.
Bring me home cabinets - bookcases - and I'll have them assembled and loaded within an hour - it's true that - braggadocious as that may seem ( hey I like that word ! That's the first time I've ever used it in a sentence but I'm going to start using it once a day :)

Sooooo when I saw this from the above mentioned store I jumped on it.

It's a larger version of the bed netting that they sell and which I've assembled a few in my lifetime - piece of cake really..............

I thought it would make a great little area for the kids to have picnics - or babies to nap etc.....
And that's where I went wrong.
If I could just look at something in a store and think " Oh how pretty " and walk away but N.O.
I always think " oh how pretty - I MUST have it "

I tried to set it up the night I brought it home but I was tired and so I left it for a week or so and then there was all the setting up in the backyard - cleaning - organizing - summer furniture to wash and install ..........finally I was ready.

10 minutes at most.........thread a few bars through the top and run outside and hang it up.
The man in the illustration did it all by himself and I wanted to surprise John.
That man in the illustration is a liar.
I don't like to call people that ( well except when I do ) and I'm not accusing Ikea of lying - not at all
but they should be more careful of their illustration people because this guy is just an out and out liar.
Lying Illustration Man - to be referred to as LIM from here on in.

First of all unless he's 9 feet tall he's not holding it like that ( and he looks like he's on the short side in my humble opinion AND I don't like his haircut - he looks like a lego man )
So I improvised and hung it up before starting
( I bet some of you sewers could whip that up into a wedding dress quicker than I was able to put this freaking thing together )
Even hanging up it would have trailed across the entire kitchen floor and yet the LIM simply dangled it from arm's length.

Anyway I got it up and proceeded to thread the bars across.................
I can't recall - seriously - I just can't recall when I've wanted to take an item I've bought and rip it into shreds - then stamp on it - spit on it - swear at it - throw it in the garbarge - and then open the lid and spit on it one last time.
Which is what I should have done.

BUT that LIM was such a great con artist that he had me believing I could do this.

Do you see that smallest arrow in the inset photo?
It shows the slit being in the middle of the hem - MIDDLE................
I spent at least 20 minutes trying to find it before giving up and assuming it was faulty and they just hadn't made the openings.
So I made them with a steak knife.
Listen - it's all I had around me ( I was working in the kitchen ) it was that or plunge it into my heart in frustration.
I then proceeded to push the bars through............5 minutes left until I'd have this pretty number set up under a tree in the garden !

But this proved to be more awkward than the LIM showed and at one point one of those bars came dangerously close to going through the kitchen hutch..........

And so I took it into the living room and hung it from the ceiling light and just to give you perspective we have tall ceilings and still it draped a couple of feet onto the floor ( remember the above arms in the photo? )
Anyway I hung it from the ceiling and stood on the coffee table when I heard a loud crack.........

Oh no.........
My coffee table ( trunk ) split ............#^$*!@&^%$
John will kill me !

But I didn't have time to worry about I ran and got a ladder and set it up and once again proceeded to thread the bars through the carefully slashed openings I made with the steak knife.

Until I noticed they were hanging kind of limply.
That's when I discovered that the bars had magically found the correct openings ( WHICH WERE NOT ON THE SIDE BUT UNDERNEATH - THAT LIM AGAIN ) and slid themselves through somehow - so half were in the slats and half were dangling on the OUTSIDE.

I started over...........using the correct slats and glanced over at the clock - I was now approaching an hour when the phone rang.
It was John - asking if I needed something - A BREAK !
I asked him to pick up bread ( because that would give me an extra 15 minutes - which was all I needed after all !

Those are not huge knitting needles - those are the last step in the process
I rested them on a bar stool because they kept falling on the floor and then the fabric would come dangerously close to " unthreading " ( new word - feel free to use it if you find yourself in the same scenario ).
Notice the angle?
They have to be bent to attach each other and form a circle.............
But the LIM is simply standing there very easily sliding them into each other and presto - done.

I couldn't do it.
I simply couldn't do it.
I put the ladder underneath the canopy and worked from the inside thinking that would help but ended up with the freaking thing all wrapped around me with me frantically trying to claw my way out of it..........screaming in frustration.
And John walked through the door.

John says - WHAT IN GOD'S NAME?
Suzan says - HELP ME !!!!!!!!
Suzan says - I CAN'T STAND IT
John says - WHAT THE HELL IS IT ?
Suzan says - IT'S A CANOPY
John says - IT'S A WHAT-WHAT???

He got the fabric untangled and I stepped down from the ladder - grabbed the thing and threw it across the room.

Suzan says - Do you think you can help me?  I bought it for you !
John says - I'm not going in that thing - are you nuts?
John says - What'll happen when it's windy?  It'll wrap itself around us like mummies for God's sake.
John says - Don't you EVER think things through?
John says - I'll help you later - I have emails to send.

But I couldn't wait.
And I'm not sure exactly what happened - but the way it landed on the floor when I threw it across the room was the perfect position for me to connect the last pieces !


I ran outside and hung it from a tree

Then put the kettle on and called John to come downstairs.

John says - I'm sending emails - is it important?
Suzan says - I'm making tea - we can have it outside

John came downstairs - took a look at it - and burst out laughing

John says - I'm not sitting in that thing I can tell you that
John says - It looks like something out of Lawrence of Arabia
John says - I'm not sitting in that thing
Suzan says - You're repeating yourself again.
John says - The birds are going to shit all over it you know.
John says - First big wind and it'll be ripped to shreds
John says - The squirrels will have holes in it by tonight
Suzan says - Don't you have emails to send or something????

It's summertime and the livin' is easy
Fish are jumping and the cotton is high
One of these mornings I'm going to rise up singing ( I swear I am )

Just wait till you hear our pool story...........good grief.
Have a wonderful day everyone - I'm going to sit in my tent and contemplate life.

Hugs to all of you -



Friday, May 13, 2016

A FRIDAY CHAT ( about this & that )

Hi !  I've been waiting for you - come in !

Tea and Coffee are waiting for you in the kitchen - I'm sitting in the den this morning - it looks like rain so I'm contemplating getting dressed ........or not.
I'm working on a beast of an armoire and prefer painting in my pjs so it may work out perfectly !

What's that ?
Where's the milk for you tea or the cream for your coffee?

Well............there's a bit of each left in the fridge but I've been having a hard time lately.
The bug has bitten me ..........not enough to kill me completely just enough to make me conscious of what I'm putting in my mouth and what the cost of that really is.  ( not in dollars )

I want to go back to my childhood when I could just ram carcasses down my throat and say YUM and not have to think of anything other than that YUM..
I still ram them down my throat just not as frequently............and I very seldom yell out YUM these days ( although admittedly I sometimes whisper it guiltily to myself )

Which brings me to the milk and cream.
The thought struck my mind the other night that cows are the most docile animals out there.
Is that why we started stealing their milk from them?
What was wrong with drinking our Mother's milk?
Who was the first person that got splatted with cow milk - smacked his lips and thought " Holy COW I'm onto something here - this is going to score huge points with the wife " ?
I mean we couldn't be drinking Bears Milk because the first person that tried it would have been slam dunked into the forest and left there dying.
Same thing for Wolves Milk.
Or Cheetah's milk.
No - we went with even tempered.
Sorry Betsy..............we're a selfish lot.

I've been counting calories and walking walking walking.
The other day I left enough calories to include a soft cone ice cream ( my weakness )
And I did research on the calorie intake from different ice cream sellers.
The winner by far was Ikea - at 135 of them ( plus it's only a dollar so that appeals to John as well )

Suzan says - I feel like an ice cream
John says - So lets go to DQ
Suzan says - Well the ice cream from Ikea has the least calories and to be honest with you it's my favorite one
Suzan says - Too many calories !
Suzan says - Plus it's only a dollar at Ikea......

So off we went........happily singing camp songs in the car ( not true that )

But you know how it is - those damn arrows on the floor dragged me through the store first.

Suzan says - Shhhhhh - My God - why are you always yelling?

We left with some art work - a lantern - candles - a bathroom mat................and an ice cream cone each.
It was delicious.

Suzan says - Now wasn't that worth it. For a dollar each ?
John says - Listen these 2 ice creams cost almost a 100.00 dollars.
John says - We're going to the DQ next time.........

I picked up Ashley a lantern for her deck..............with some candles.
John says - What are you getting that for - we have tons of lanterns?
Suzan says - This one's for Ashley
John says - Why - did she ask you to pick one up for her?
Suzan says -No - Evan asked me to
John says - You're so ridiculous...........

But I swear to you the last time I had him he said these three words very succinctly


Which means

MAma wants a LAntern with some CAndles.
I speak Evan.

I never have cash on me.
I use my debit card ( or far too often - my credit card shhh )
So when I got to the cash to pay for the ice cream cones and discovered that I had enough change in my wallet I decided to pay with coins.
That included a few pennies.
I handed the girl my stash and she says
" Oh we don't take pennies "
My feathers got a little ruffled and I indignantly explained to her that pennies are M.O.N.E.Y. - when I felt a tap on my shoulder.
A lady behind me explained that pennies were taken out of circulation in Canada.
Jesus how he wept - I have to get in tune with the times.
How embarrassing.

Anyway I'm putting this out here because maybe somewhere in the remote mountains of this country there's a hermit ( and a miser ) who's been saying his pennies for over 70 years and he's now worth a million dollars in them.
He's worn the same coat for 50 of those years because he didn't want to squander those pennies away.
He's been eating shit crap for 50 of those years too as he squirreled them away.
And he's probably a relative of mine with my luck.

A penny saved is a penny earned burned in Oh Canada it would seem.

John and I have arguments about lights.
( when we're out of other things to argue about of course )
I turn the outside lights on at night.
ALL night.
It's a deterrent right?
John shuts them off - I turn them on - John shuts them off....this goes on all night and the one that stays up the latest wins ( me )
The neighbors must think we're sending out signals to the enemy or something,
John woke up yesterday and the first thing he did was run to the bedroom window and look down.

Suzan says -  Listen buddy did our house get broken into last night?
John says - Don't be ridiculous.
Suzan says - FINE !  I'll turn the lights out - but if we're robbed and in the process I'm raped and tortured and killed IT'LL BE ON YOUR BACK - YOU'LL HAVE TO LIVE WITH THAT DECISION !
And for the first time in ever I did NOT turn the light on.
You can imagine my surprise when I looked out and saw it shining bright.
A beacon of hope !

Ok guys I'm outta here.
I have to pick up milk and cheese today.
I feel guilty about it but I HAVE to.
You understand............

Love to all of you -
I think out of all my blogging I've missed our chats the most.
Have a wonderful weekend


Wednesday, May 11, 2016

I WANNA live there Wednesday #154

Good morning all !

I just want to give a quick explanation on why I haven't published the comments from my last post.
It was a Friday Chat ( about this & that ) and I went and mentioned the Donald ............
Most comments were sort of on the line with the way I feel about him but there were a couple that spoke out in his defense and one who was quite upset at me for even posting my thoughts on the subject ( sorry about that - youknowwhoyouare ) and it is out of respect for those that have a different opinion of him that I chose to just close the comments on that particular subject.
There - that's that and now on to something I've missed doing :)

Real Estate !
Condo in Old Montreal to be precise
1635 sq feet
Year built 1830
2 beds - 1 bath
Realtor :  BINDU PATEL ( groupe elite Canada )

With a walking score of 98 you can't get much better............what a perfect retirement space this would be for me................

In fact I'm going to stroll around the neighborhood this weekend - it's as close to living there as I can get for now lol.

Hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday everyone,
I'm off to walk 5 miles..........I'll tell you ( if I remember ) what happened yesterday while walking.
Scary stuff !

Friday, May 6, 2016

Well hello there...............A FRIDAY CHAT ( about this and that )

My it's been a long long time............

I thought I'd get back to blogging a week or so after the last post and though I tried I just couldn't do it.  I had writers AND thinkers block I guess.
But even through the sadness this old world just keeps on turning.
A huge thanks to all of you that expressed concern - you are all just amazing - you really are.
If anyone is still around - come in !
I need to chat !

First in the news is WE'RE BOOKED FOR PARIS !!!
It's a business/leisure trip - we leave on September 9 and return on the 18 ( I'm going to miss Evan's first birthday - what kind of Lolli and Pop are we ? )
Although we used to go every year - I haven't been in 6 years now and so I'm ecstatic.
Nothing like booking a trip to Paris to lift you out of the doldrums I tell ya !

AND because we're going to Paris - and because summer is right around the corner - I decided to start a strict diet.  The method I chose is a simple calorie counting diet because I don't do well when I'm told I can never have certain foods again.  ( it's sort of a free version of Weight Watchers I suppose )
Anyway John has jumped on the bandwagon with me.
Except he doesn't understand the concept.
At. All.

John says - Why are you giving me more food than you take?
John says - Are you trying to keep me big while you lost weight?
Suzan says - You can't possibly survive on the calories I'm allotted
John says - OF COURSE I CAN !
Suzan says - John - listen to me - if you ate 1300 hundred calories a day - at your height and current weight you'd end up very sick
John says - Of course - only you have the stamina to do it right?

WTH ???

Suzan says - It isn't a contest - you need x amount of calories and I need a different x amount of calories
John says - It makes no sense at all.
John says - I find you're very irritable when you diet.............

You all know I'm not allowed at the grocery store, right?
I know that sounds awful but I'm really not - I spend too much money ( he's right about that )  and so John does all the groceries with a very carefully written list ( of which he never reads properly anyway )

Suzan says - Can you check the calories on the bread - make sure it's 60 calories each slice.

He came home and I asked him if he found the bread...............

John says - very proudly - Yep !  21 grams !
Suzan says - what does that mean ?
John says - well you asked for 60 calories - I found an even better number

HE'S DEAD SERIOUS..................DEAR LORD..............HE'S DEAD SERIOUS.
The bread was 100 calories each

Suzan says - It says 100 calories

Whether he likes it or not I'm going to start doing groceries again.

I thought I saw a mouse the other night - in the den - and I naturally screamed.

John says - What the hell was that?
Suzan says - There's a mouse in the den and I think it's dead
John says - Was that you screaming?
Suzan says - Yes !  Come get the freaking thing please !
John says - That didn't sound like a scream
John comes in the den - bends down - and throws it at me - which caused me to scream and run out of the room so fast I smashed my foot into the corner of the wall and think I have a fractured baby toe.
AND I made him pick up the socks he had rolled in the shape of a dead mouse and put them in the hamper.
John says - You sounded like a bloody walrus for God's sakes

As for my scream?
I've never been able to do it............I don't have one of those blood curdling lady like screams.
But I can assure you I in no way sound like a walrus.

And if I do I think it was pretty mean of him to let me know

Ive watched and counted every calorie that's gone in my mouth for a week - and so I made sure I had enough spare ones to allow for a soft ice cream cone ( my summer weakness )  I checked calories and found that Mcdonald's had the best choice for calories.  Only 170 of them !
John says - I feel like a blizzard from DQ
Suzan says - Can we get the one from Mcdonald's ?  Please?  Next time we can go to DQ
John says - Why? What's the difference ?  They have soft ice cream at DQ
Suzan says - Mcdonald's has the least calories

And off we went -
John went in to get them and he was gone so long that I got out of the van worried that something had happened to him - only to see him appear out of nowhere - struggling with 2 very strange things in his hands
Here's your lowest amount of calories. he said.
The machine was broken - and we ended up with ice creams that were at the very least - 10 inches tall including the cone.
John says - We should have went to DQ
John says - Now you've ended up with a 1000 calories
John says - You never listen to me
John says - This is absolutely ludicrous
Suzan says - nom nom nom nom - this is delicious. And I ate the entire thing.
I find diets over rated anyway................

I can't.
I just can't.
I find him crass, obnoxious, ill informed, dangerous, racist, sexist, bullyish, boorish, ignorant, rude
egotistical, narcissistic. vulgar, divisive. immature, mean spirited and hypocritical.
( other than than I'm pretty neutral on the subject )

We've had our share of pretty shitty politics here in Montreal - so I've used some of those same words before - maybe not all together - but some of those combinations anyway.

The other night I was trying to push one of my ideas on John - and he told me I sounded like Trump.
I instantly shut up.
Those are very sobering words.
I'd rather he told me I sound like a walrus

The mosquitoes are out already - holy cow - I can't remember them ever being out this early before here.
Suzan says - We have to empty all bodies of water.
John says - What bodies in the water are you talking about exactly?
Suzan says - bodies OF water - good grief !
John says - Where are you going ?
Suzan says - I have to write this down

So we diligently emptied all containers and such while the swamp ( the pool ) sits there stagnant and a  perfect place for 80 zillions mosquitos to have an orgy.

Special prayers go out to Alberta - where they are battling horrific fires.
The world can be cruel.
A couple of years back they were battling the worst flooding.
My heart is with every last one of them.

Ok guys - I'm outta here - I have flowers to buy - a pool drainer to rent - and voice lessons on the agenda this weekend.
Hope you all have a wonderful Mother's day - mother's of humans AND furbabies .
Love you all
More than you know

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

I'M SORRY.....

I really am.

I've struggled ( and very literally it's been a huge one ) with how to write up this post.
Every night I walk into the office and sit at the computer but the words don't come.
I end up sitting and staring out the window for far too long before giving up and leaving the room.

I published a post on March 18......a post I had already written up and so I simply had to hit publish or there wouldn't have been one on that day either because of something that happened on March 11.

"A South Shore family is in mourning, trying desperately to understand how their daughter ended up driving the wrong way on Highway 30 East, near St. Constant last Friday morning, slamming head on into a pick up truck.
Angie Adelin was just 36 years old, a few weeks shy of her 37th birthday. She was on her way home to Chateauguay after working 18 hours straight.
Her mom, Joanne Breen, stresses her daughter didn't often work a triple shift and didn't need to, but was hoping to earn a few extra dollars for a family vacation and for her two young daughters, aged 9 and 13.
She says police are investigating all avenues.
"Maybe she was just tired, it was very dark, it's very, very dark on the 30 where she came from working." says Breen.
Breen says on top of the poor visibility, there is a lack of road signs in the area and hopes Transport Quebec will look into that. 
"It's a very bad turn, I almost did it myself one time, and there's no signs not to go in or out." she says.
The SQ says there were no skid marks or any sign of brake activity at the crash scene. Officers spent the last few days trying to reconstruct what happened. "

This accident made headlines.  It was heartbreaking to hear about - a young woman in the prime of her life gone in such a senseless accident. It was all people spoke about for days and it's all I've been thinking about for the past month.
JoAnnie Breen...........a dear friend was the mother the article mentions.  And Angie was her life.
The older you get the more funerals you attend.  I have a funeral face by now.  I can offer comfort without falling apart ( took many many years to be able to do that ) I can say words that comfort more often then not and I've learned to be strong even if that means falling apart in the car when I leave. But this one? 
It threw every single one of us into an unrecognizable state.  I've been crying for a month most days. It's left me feeling vulnerable and frightened and more angry than I should be.
And most of all it's left me without the power to write.
For now.
I know it'll come patient with me?
I miss you all - I just have to sort out the jumbled rambling mess that's in my brain.
MARCH 16 - 1979
MARCH 11 - 2016


Much love
and again my apologies if I caused any of you concern
Really really tight ones.

Friday, March 18, 2016

A FRIDAY CHAT ( about this & that )

Good morning everyone !

C'mon in !
The keurig's been moved to another spot in the kitchen - John doesn't like it - he hates change but....

Everything changes.

When my kids were small I was told to let them cry - now I'm told it's not good to let babies cry.
I bundled them up to take them out - overly so just in case - now I'm told it isn't good for babies to be too hot in a car.
I started feeding my kids pablum quite young - now I'm told it's not necessary.

But then again I'm from an era where I learned to read from books that said:


which meant something entirely different back in the day.

And speaking of SEE DICK JUMP UP AND DOWN...............(pun intended for obvious reasons) why is it that I can't seem to get mad at Don Draper on Mad Men ?  I've had turns getting mad at practically everyone else on that show at some point or another.
My daughters think he's disgusting ( he is I suppose but I can barely even acknowledge it )
Am I that superficial?
Is it because he's the most beautiful specimen of a man?
I always feel sorry for him.............he's in bed with half of Manhattan and I feel sorry for him.
One day I'm going to visit an analyst - which in turn will send the analyst to an analyst who will kindly explain that there's just no helping some patients.

I've come to the conclusion that retardation doesn't have to mean that a person is totally retarded.
I know, I know, it's NOT politically correct to use the term - but I'm allowed to use it because I AM somewhat retarded.
Technically Retarded.
Truly I am.
There's a mental block that I can't jump past.
I'm still in utter shock that planes can stay up in the air - I act like I was born in the 1800's for crying out loud.
AND I HAVE to imagine a plane just flies UP THERE IN THE SKY -
when you show me pics of what it's actually doing my brain starts sizzling ( which is of course just flying up there in the sky )

But there's no safety net............not from crashing to the ground - but from being flung out into the universe.
I can't grasp that it's out there in the atmosphere and that the only thing holding it back from floating for eternity is a little gravity - my brain shuts down completely at the thought.

I mean you're talking to someone who has a hard time with Facebook.
I'm on instagram and I can't even use my phone to it's full capacity.
I've been thinking of just signing all my posts HASHTAG IDIOT ( of which it took me forever to even understand what hashtag actually means ) 

Here's the thing about me:

I wasn't born with one of these in my mouth


Nor was I born with one of these up my ass derriere ( well actually I wasn't born with much of a derriere period )


And I most certainly wasn't born with a technical gene - but that can be forgiven - God had no idea about social media when I entered the world hashtag whatthehellissocialmedia

But I WAS born with a wicked imagination - which kind of makes up for the lack of the other 3.
Well maybe not completely but you gotta take what you're born with.
A wicked imagination makes you a dreamer.
And that's a good thing.

Take it away Mr. Williams

See you later -  my huckleberry friends
Love you to bits even though we've never met
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend

Wednesday, March 16, 2016


Good morning everyone !

We had a mirror break last week - I think we break one every 7 years or so just to keep the bad luck coming really :)

It was a mirror that hung on the bathroom door and so I had John carefully remove the mirror itself out of the wood ( kind of ornate ) frame and painted it gold.

John says - What are you going to put in it?
Suzan says - Nothing - I'm going to hang it up empty - along with a few others
John says - Oh c'mon now - that's going to look ridiculous.
Suzan says - No it won't - it's a look - I've done it before on mantels
John says - Well that's one thing - hanging it up is going to look ridiculous
( he repeats himself - often )

I need more frames - small ones to fill out the empty spaces but it's a great start, right?

John says - This looks even more ridiculous than I thought it would
Suzan says - Of course it does sweetheart


Now he just may have a point there - these are the worst stairs in the history of house building I'm sure.  They're narrow with a very dangerous turn at the halfway mark - I've been begging John to put up a banister for the 2 years since we bought this hellhole fixer upper.

Suzan says - I've asked you a hundred times to put a banister up !
John says - Well I was going to do it this month
Suzan says - Of course you were sweetheart
John says - It's a nuthouse - a complete nut house

I came across a before photo last week and almost died  WAS I BRAVE OR WHAT?   I mean really can you believe we bought this place ?
I seriously think I had a temporary loss of sanity - it's the only way I can explain it -
AND it's been 2 years and we're far from finished !

Have a wonderful day all.............
Much love,



Monday, March 14, 2016


Good morning everyone !

I showed a bowl of paper roses yesterday in my multi color Monday post and a couple of you asked how I made here's how you make a huge bowl of colorful paper roses for 1.00 !

We made these for Mother's day when I was a little girl and since my craft skill levels have never matured beyond 10 years old this is how I still make them :)
It's so ridiculously easy that I'm embarrassed to show you how but here goes.

Supplies - Multi color pack of construction paper ( from the dollar store )
Pencil ( or pen or chop stick )
White glue
Rerun episodes of Mad Men
Red wine
The wine is optional - Mad Men is not.

Draw out various sizes of circles on the construction paper ( I used saucers and glasses )

Cut each circle into spirals while staring at Don Draper - try not to cut your fingers

Sorry for the lousy pics but O.M.G. Peggy did something really really stupid so I'm lucky I remembered to take one at all !
Anyway once the spiral is cut - you take the outer end piece and start rolling it on the pencil going towards the middle piece - as tight as you can until you reach the end

then you pull the pencil through it while holding the spiral intact - there will be a " tail " hanging at the end -

This is where the white glue is applied

before pressing the glued piece down you can allow the " rose " to open to the size you want it to be and voila
OH NO - NOT AGAIN DON - stop it - just stop it !!!

I'm thinking this was a subliminal project actually - completely inspired by the fact that I'm binge watching Mad Men all over again on Netflix

And Paper Roses was  ( I'm sure ) written for all the men on that show !
( cuz like a big red rose that's made of paper - there isn't any sweetness in their hearts )

Have a wonderful day everyone !
Hugs to you from me ( real ones - not paper ones )


THE ESSENCE OF HOME                                        FRENCH COUNTRY COTTAGE