Friday, October 9, 2015

A FRIDAY CHAT ( about this and that )

Good morning - you have to make your own coffee this morning - I can't walk around at the moment and here's why !

The other night I was laying on the bed and I saw something on my leg out of the corner of my eye.

IT WAS WRINKLES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wrinkles on my leg - I swear to you - my left leg ( I think my right one is aging quite gracefully )
It was in a relaxed position obviously - but I thought I'd throw up on the spot.
I immediately flexed it and they disappeared.

I already walk around looking perpetually surprised - because forcing your eyebrows up as high as they'll go takes a couple of years also give you severe headaches but that's a small price to pay.  So now I'll have to make sure my leg muscles are flexed at all times - it's exhausting getting older.

Next time you step out of the shower ( and only if you have a full length mirror on your bathroom door ) while you're standing butt naked - lift your arms above your head ( like you're about to spring into a jumping jack - but don't really spring into a jumping jack or you may dislocate something )  O.M.G. - I swear to you your body looks like it's supposed to look !  It's amazing.
So I may start walking around with my arms above my head - that with the startled expression and the stiff walk from flexing leg muscles  may make people think there's a hold up nearby but who cares's free.

Oh and by the way - when you're laying in bed don't bother lifting your arms - it only works when you're standing up for some reason -
Everything still sags when you're horizontal - just keep a blanket up to your chin.  And look surprised.

Well the latest argument was the front door as you can well imagine.

I wanted to go Apple Green or Yellow.....................John wanted Red -
John won.............just in case any of you are under the assumption that Suzan always wins.
He literally sulked for a week over it and I couldn't stand watching it so I caved.  There's something so pitiful about seeing a grown man sulking over the color of a front door that's just heartbreaking really.

I've now discovered that a person can move mountains just by sulking - it never dawned on me before -
I'm going to try this method for the next project - it's exciting actually - a new experiment !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok I'm going to tell you one of the reasons why I wasn't keen on going red.
You already know that the normal rules of the universe don't ( and never did ) apply to me - so don't judge.
It's because of the stupid Fall wreath I made.
It took me 56 years to make one - and now I really like it - BUT IT DOESN'T GO WITH A RED DOOR
Plus there's orangey-gold leaded glass in the side lights and the door itself - I was afraid it was going to look like a Halloween door for 12 months of the year.

Suzan says - It'll clash
John says - You got the supplies from the dollar store.
John says - Of all the ridiculous reasons.................
Suzan says - But I've grown partial to that wreath
John says - You spend hundreds of dollars on a pair of shoes you never wear and you're attached to a wreath you made for 10.00
Suzan says - YOU spent 1000.00 on a leather jacket you never wear
John says - I'm going to start wearing it now - it was too warm - do you want me to put on a leather jacket in the sweltering heat????????????
Suzan says - YOU BOUGHT IT 10 YEARS AGO !!!!!!!!!!!
Suzan says - It's ugly now - please don't start wearing it - it's completely out of style

And that's how we roll around here...............we completely forget what we were originally arguing about and move on to the next item rather quickly.
Otherwise things can get stagnant pretty quickly don't you know?
If you want to keep the magic alive - DO NOT ARGUE OVER THE SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER AGAIN................otherwise he'll find someone new to argue with.
Someone who doesn't have to walk around flexing her leg muscles and looking surprised.

This summer was so hot - gloriously hot - that I can't bear the cooler temperatures.  My body is going into shock - or shutdown - it just can't deal with it.
And there's this constant niggling thought that it's going to get much much colder as we progress.
OMG - as I was typing niggling I realized I haven't heard that word in ages..............I had to google it because it feels like the start of a bad word, doesn't it?  But it's fine to use..................being politically correct is as aging.

Speaking of politically correct - we have a woman running for office in Ontario that didn't know that Auschwitz was a death camp.  And her background is in public education   Her friend had posted a photo of herself  ( facebook ) in front of the electric fence at Auschwitz she was standing in front of - 7 years ago - and here was the candidate's reply

"Ahhh, the infamous Pollish (sic), phallic, hydro posts … of course you took pictures of this! It expresses ... how the curve is normal, natural, and healthy right!"

When questioned about it her response was that she did not know that Auschwitz was a death camp.
And that this " mudslinging " was the kind of thing that turned voters off.

No lady - it's ignorance that can and should turn voters off.

Comments made on social media stay out there forever - I've said things that would probably embarrass me as well - but I'M NOT RUNNING FOR OFFICE.
And I know that Polish is spelled with one L.................good grief.
Our public education system is in worse shape than I thought.
Unbelievable - just completely unbelievable.

I was looking for my exterior color chart the other day - searched everywhere and then had an AHA moment 
( thank you Oprah - I had absolutely no idea what to call it before you came along ! ) 
and ran into the den and opened one of the drawers in the armoire and there sat a grocery bag..........
I've been looking all over for my bag of dresser knobs so was thrilled to see it there..............

Except it wasn't my bag of dresser knobs at all...........
Now before I go any further you have to remember that Fall is upon us - full force - and I get that it's a primal thing to hunker down for winter.
I've been changing out pillows and scattering throws around the couches - putting candles out - laying books all over the place - rearranging mantels - making soups and stews- etc.  Whether I want to do all of that or not it's just an instinct that it needs to be done.
But this?
Nestled inside of a drawer?
It's beyond my comprehension - obviously John's way of hunkering down for winter is a lot different than mine.

AND buried under that was this

John says - It's shells - why not - I'm not finished with them

Honestly?  I'm not fond of squirrels - for those of you that have been reading awhile - you KNOW that -
So I'm flabbergasted to discover that John has traits eerily similar to them. ( the element of surprise is also very important in a relationship )

Who does that?
I mean - really - dear God - who does that?
This may be the straw shell that broke the camel's back............


John roars.............
But I'm not being funny - I'm serious - he can build it - and I'll decorate it for him.
I'll even paint the little door red.
And he can scurry around gathering all the nuts he wants in peace and harmony.

And speaking of squirrels - one climbed up the wall outside and pressed it's face against the screen in my office where my desk sits right in front of.
I screamed bloody murder and it scurried away.
So did the UPS man across the street after worriedly looking all over to see where the scream came from.
They're out to kill me those things - I swear to you ( the squirrels not the UPS men ) 
If you're new here you can read about my very traumatic experience in our last home HERE
They terrorize me - seriously - they completely terrorize me.

I had a dream last night that Oprah sent me an email telling me to measure all my windows because she was having them all replaced for me.
She asked me not to tell anyone or everyone would want new windows................
Told me to come up with a story.
We're having a few windows replaced before winter sets in.................we're paying for them ourselves
( well that's my story and I'm sticking to it ) 

My heart with pleasure fills

and dances with the daffodils..................

And I think that's all she wrote folks.................
I've got to make sure John doesn't have any acorns in his underwear drawer !

Much love,
(even kisses) 


  1. I've just got one question. How does one sulk with their eyebrows arched? hehe And I think neck to toe Spanks would benefit us all over a certain age.

    Congratulations on your sweet grandson! They are the very best part of growing old. Happy Friday!

  2. They say the legs are the last things to go. Mine never looked good to begin with so I guess I'm ok! Evan is picture perfect and oh so adorable!

  3. Oh my goodness Suzan... you just crack me up! I know what you mean about getting older, it is exhausting. I've been walking around for YEARS with my stomach sucked in... people are amazed when they see I have a REAL stomach... pudginess and all! lol!

    John with his peanut shells reminds me of my dad. He loves peanuts too and thinks it's funny to hide lone peanut shells all over the house. He hasn't done it for awhile but I still find them now and then from YEARS ago!


  4. But if I walk around with my arms up, my shirt will lift up, and show the donut hole on my belly!!!

  5. I haven't been able to visit all my favorites lately, but at least I got here for a Friday Chat. I know you will always bring a smile and laughter to the table.

  6. What is he keeping the shells for? To glue on a wreath?
    (Love the baby photos!)

  7. "Ahhh, the infamous Pollish (sic), phallic, hydro posts … of course you took pictures of this! It expresses ... how the curve is normal, natural, and healthy right!" What does that even mean??? Politicians are so silly. While trying to sound intelligent, all they do is babble. Ask a question, and they don't answer it. At. All. They want to be everything to everyone, so they are absolutely nothing to no one. Our politicians seem to focus on the wrong thing. Ours THINK everyone is so against Planned Parenthood, so they pander to those people. The problem is that when a poll surfaces, 7 in 10 people support Planned Parenthood. So, to us normal people, they are idiots.

    1. So true about Planned Parenthood! I live in the USA! I agree with you! Laura

  8. Suzan, can you put your wreath on the inside of the door ?

  9. Thank you for the laughs and chuckles Suzan! Evan is adorable! Have a really great Thanksgiving weekend! Don't leave your windows open as the squirrels are looking for a cozy place to spend the winter and they love peanuts! :) XO Pam

  10. Suzan, You are a SCREAM!! I am laughing my pants off!!! My husband does the same thing with peanuts and peanut shells, except since we have no winter, he has them year round all around his computer!!! I am always calling him Squirrely!
    I cannot believe that woman not knowing about Auschwitz or how to spell Polish. Truly unbelievable and disgusting!
    I think it was awfully nice of you to cave and leave your door red! It is GORGEOUS!~! I agree with John, (OMG, for the second time!) Either make a second wreath that you think matches with the red door, (we all KNOW you are creative enough to make another wreath), or buy one on ETSY where there are a ton of gorgeous wreaths, or buy one on discount somewhere, or tweak your existing wreath to go with the red door!) I wish you lived close because I am obsessed with wreaths, something I have to go to "WreathNuts anonymous" for. I have been getting rid of stuff 'cuz I have way too much, and I wish I could let you have any wreaths you want. A wreath is no reason to change your door color! You are sounding like a Lucy!
    Squeal!!!...those pictures of EVAN are so precious! Did you take them? I swear they are so artistic and professional. You should be a photographer! Boy, you are so multi-talented! He is growing--Golly, you are so lucky to be the Grandma of such a beautiful Angel! God bless him and you and family!
    Oh, while you're at it, please make a tree house for my husband too--he's driving me crazy not agreeing with an idea I have for remodeling our staircase. Oh, and all I got for looking surprised all of the time so as to lift my eyebrows and keep them from sagging and flapping around my eye wrinkles were permanent ridges on my forehead!! Aging is not for wimps, and I am a wimp so what am I gonna do?
    Bye for now,

    1. Hey Laura/Hazel/Ethel !
      I guess I'll make another wreath - is it too early to stick one of my Christmas wreaths on it LOL ???
      It wouldn't be the first time I'd sound like a Lucy as you well know by now !
      Ashley took those photos with her phone so they're a little blurry - I just embellished them with the stars and his name.
      At this point I think it would be easier for me to build a tree house for myself and let John has the main one LOL !
      The permanent ridges on your forehead are supposed to be covered with bangs, silly !
      Talk later

  11. Oh dear you have my laughing so hard my husband thinks I have lost my mind! I completely understand the squirrel phobia, nasty little rodents, I have one that sits in a tree near my front door and actually pelts me with acorns as I go out to get the mail. Many years ago a family of squirrels moved into my mother's attic and spent their evenings chewing through the Sheetrock to her living room ceiling, awful! We had to hire someone to catch them in a trap and relocate them because they are protected. Can you believe it, what brilliant politician decided squirrels needed protection? Seriously, it's not like they are an endangered species! I would be very concerned about John's nut habit, was he bitten by a squirrel by any chance? His symptoms are quite disturbing. Your story of the uneducated woman running for office made me feel a bit better about the circus we have going on here in the States, I am taking comfort in the knowledge that stupidity is universal. I would be remiss if I did not tell you how much I appreciate your tutorial on looking younger, gravity is doing a number on me. Your grandson is so precious, please continue the good fight or who knows what kind of world we will be leaving to these babies!

  12. Evan is a beautiful babe! As for the peanuts, now we know why the little critters like your place so much. They never know what delights might be stashed away in some hidey hole(lol)!

    1. Thanks so much Lynn !
      As for the peanuts - he's got me totally paranoid now - next I'm going to find a squirrel in a drawer munching away !

  13. I love your mind without borders!!! Funny, funny stuff!

  14. You sure do make me laugh when I visit your blog!! Your grandson is adorable.

  15. Evan looks like a beautiful baby. My favorite part is their sweet little feet. Have a good weekend and watch out for the squirrels.

  16. Squirreling nuts away, hilarious! Yes, our arguments go that way too, they take on a life of their own. Just wait till you hang the Christmas wreath, you will love your red door, at least for the winter. Do you have a winter wreath too? Doesn't it drive you nuts when people leave them up till the snow is melting? I just want to yell "Stop the car!," so I can run up and rip it down. Dave says I'm nuts, I'm just theneighbourhood door wreath police! Have a lovely Thanksgiving! We are dragging in the deck furniture so I can host the dinner here, crazy maybe... Guests will have to avoid tripping over the painted siding which is stacked up along with trim work and paint stuff. Just a general mess here still. xo Patty

    1. Do I have a winter wreath too? I probably have about 25 winter wreaths Patty - it's part of the disorder you know !
      I'll put one on the door and each of the 4 windows on the enclosed porch - won't that look pretty? And then I'll keep them there until Spring - when I repaint the door LMHO ! So I'll be one of those people that drive you nuts lol. Hope you have a great TG dinner - the mess doesn't matter............( do you see how much sense I make when it isn't my house? My daughter's doing it because my dining room is still a mess and hasn't been touched yet )

  17. P.S. Awww... Evan! So beautiful and heartmelting : )

    1. He's going to be in my arms for at least 3 hours today !!!
      Thanks SO much

  18. Here I am with one arm raised above my head, my deer in the headlights expression, and typing with one hand, and all to keep my ever so youthful appearance! Your new Evan is as sweet as punch, lovely pics! Happy Thanksgiving to you and your fam! Xxxxxxx

    1. And look how much younger you look typing away Mary Anne LOL !!!
      Thanks so much - I'm not going to put him down today - I may even forfeit my dinner to just hold him and stare !

  19. OMG Suzan, I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself because I currently have two tree stumps for legs as a result of double knee surgery on Friday. Thanks for the laughs this afternoon...I needed a good laugh. So did you find any acorns?

    1. OMG - did you have knee replacement Marie?
      My Mother had it done this summer for one leg so I know what you mean be tree stumps - take care of yourself!!!

  20. You know I love seeing all of your furniture and DIY projects, but I do love these Friday chats! First I'm laughing my head off trying to image you (or me!) walking around doing all of your "look younger" suggestions; then I'm outraged about the woman who didn't know what Auschwitz was, and then melting at those precious photos of Evan!


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