My it's been a long long time............
I thought I'd get back to blogging a week or so after the last post and though I tried I just couldn't do it. I had writers AND thinkers block I guess.
But even through the sadness this old world just keeps on turning.
A huge thanks to all of you that expressed concern - you are all just amazing - you really are.
If anyone is still around - come in !
I need to chat !
First in the news is WE'RE BOOKED FOR PARIS !!!
It's a business/leisure trip - we leave on September 9 and return on the 18 ( I'm going to miss Evan's first birthday - what kind of Lolli and Pop are we ? )
Although we used to go every year - I haven't been in 6 years now and so I'm ecstatic.
Nothing like booking a trip to Paris to lift you out of the doldrums I tell ya !
AND because we're going to Paris - and because summer is right around the corner - I decided to start a strict diet. The method I chose is a simple calorie counting diet because I don't do well when I'm told I can never have certain foods again. ( it's sort of a free version of Weight Watchers I suppose )
Anyway John has jumped on the bandwagon with me.
Except he doesn't understand the concept.
John says - Why are you giving me more food than you take?
John says - Are you trying to keep me big while you lost weight?
Suzan says - You can't possibly survive on the calories I'm allotted
John says - OF COURSE I CAN !
Suzan says - John - listen to me - if you ate 1300 hundred calories a day - at your height and current weight you'd end up very sick
John says - Of course - only you have the stamina to do it right?
Suzan says - It isn't a contest - you need x amount of calories and I need a different x amount of calories
John says - It makes no sense at all.
Suzan says - LOOK IT UP ON GOOGLE - I'M TOO TIRED TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU
John says - I find you're very irritable when you diet.............
You all know I'm not allowed at the grocery store, right?
I know that sounds awful but I'm really not - I spend too much money ( he's right about that ) and so John does all the groceries with a very carefully written list ( of which he never reads properly anyway )
Suzan says - Can you check the calories on the bread - make sure it's 60 calories each slice.
He came home and I asked him if he found the bread...............
John says - very proudly - Yep ! 21 grams !
Suzan says - what does that mean ?
John says - well you asked for 60 calories - I found an even better number
HE'S DEAD SERIOUS..................DEAR LORD..............HE'S DEAD SERIOUS.
The bread was 100 calories each
Suzan says - It says 100 calories
John says - THAT'S FOR THE WHOLE PACK !
Whether he likes it or not I'm going to start doing groceries again.
I thought I saw a mouse the other night - in the den - and I naturally screamed.
John says - What the hell was that?
Suzan says - There's a mouse in the den and I think it's dead
John says - Was that you screaming?
Suzan says - Yes ! Come get the freaking thing please !
John says - That didn't sound like a scream
Suzan says - CAN YOU COME GET THE MOUSE PLEASE !!!!
John comes in the den - bends down - and throws it at me - which caused me to scream and run out of the room so fast I smashed my foot into the corner of the wall and think I have a fractured baby toe.
AND I made him pick up the socks he had rolled in the shape of a dead mouse and put them in the hamper.
John says - You sounded like a bloody walrus for God's sakes
As for my scream?
I've never been able to do it............I don't have one of those blood curdling lady like screams.
But I can assure you I in no way sound like a walrus.
And if I do I think it was pretty mean of him to let me know
Ive watched and counted every calorie that's gone in my mouth for a week - and so I made sure I had enough spare ones to allow for a soft ice cream cone ( my summer weakness ) I checked calories and found that Mcdonald's had the best choice for calories. Only 170 of them !
John says - I feel like a blizzard from DQ
Suzan says - Can we get the one from Mcdonald's ? Please? Next time we can go to DQ
John says - Why? What's the difference ? They have soft ice cream at DQ
Suzan says - Mcdonald's has the least calories
And off we went -
John went in to get them and he was gone so long that I got out of the van worried that something had happened to him - only to see him appear out of nowhere - struggling with 2 very strange things in his hands
Here's your lowest amount of calories. he said.
The machine was broken - and we ended up with ice creams that were at the very least - 10 inches tall including the cone.
John says - We should have went to DQ
John says - Now you've ended up with a 1000 calories
John says - You never listen to me
John says - This is absolutely ludicrous
Suzan says - nom nom nom nom - this is delicious. And I ate the entire thing.
I find diets over rated anyway................
I just can't.
I find him crass, obnoxious, ill informed, dangerous, racist, sexist, bullyish, boorish, ignorant, rude
egotistical, narcissistic. vulgar, divisive. immature, mean spirited and hypocritical.
( other than than I'm pretty neutral on the subject )
We've had our share of pretty shitty politics here in Montreal - so I've used some of those same words before - maybe not all together - but some of those combinations anyway.
The other night I was trying to push one of my ideas on John - and he told me I sounded like Trump.
I instantly shut up.
Those are very sobering words.
I'd rather he told me I sound like a walrus
The mosquitoes are out already - holy cow - I can't remember them ever being out this early before here.
Suzan says - We have to empty all bodies of water.
John says - What bodies in the water are you talking about exactly?
Suzan says - bodies OF water - good grief !
John says - Where are you going ?
Suzan says - I have to write this down
So we diligently emptied all containers and such while the swamp ( the pool ) sits there stagnant and a perfect place for 80 zillions mosquitos to have an orgy.
Special prayers go out to Alberta - where they are battling horrific fires.
The world can be cruel.
A couple of years back they were battling the worst flooding.
My heart is with every last one of them.
Ok guys - I'm outta here - I have flowers to buy - a pool drainer to rent - and voice lessons on the agenda this weekend.
Hope you all have a wonderful Mother's day - mother's of humans AND furbabies .
Love you all
More than you know