Friday, December 11, 2015

A FRIDAY CHAT ( about this & that )

No snow.............last year we got it in the knick of time.
This year we had a sprinkling that lasted one afternoon and they're saying there won't be any for Christmas

No snow for Christmas?
In Montreal?
They're calling for 11 to 12 degrees celcius today ( that's roughly 52 degrees for you Americans ) and though I realize this may be considered cold - even freezing to some of you - it's absolutely balmy to me.

Now keep that temperature in mind for a second.
And keep in mind that ANYONE living in Montreal KNOWS that's really warm for the month of December here.

We were out shopping this week.
At a mall.
And that means parking.
And you all know exactly what I mean by that when it's a couple of weeks before Christmas.
We would be waiting by a spot and watch people just zoom in and steal it -

John says - THOSE BASTARDS !
Suzan says - You know - it's Christmas - let it go.

After 3 times of this I thought John would blow a gasket - really I did.

We were just pulling into a spot when a woman pulled up behind us.............and BEGGED us ( she literally said " I'm begging you "
" I have to pick up my son in one hour and this is the only hour I have to pick up his Christmas gift "

John yells out - 3 people have already stolen my spot - we've got shopping to do too lady

She gave it one last attempt - and begged us again...............and guess what perseverance gets you?
Yup..............we pulled out and gave it to her.

By this time John was red in the face and I was getting a little impatient too...............and then finally
THANK YOU GOD - we ended up in front of a spot a few feet from the entrance way - you couldn't find a better spot really.
As we pulled in - a car pulled up beside us -

Woman says - Hey that's my spot !
John says - We were here with our flasher on before you pulled up
Woman says -  But I have a baby in the car
John says - Listen - we've given up 4 spots - it's the luck of the draw
Woman says - C'mon - I have a baby in the car and it's freezing outside

( that's why I wanted you to remember the temperatures - it's as far from freezing as you could ever want to get in Montreal in December )

John says - Sorry as he locks the car up
Woman screams out  -  OH MY GOD - YOU ARE HORRIBLE PEOPLE !!!

Now this is why choices are so important in life.

I had 2 of them.
I could have walked up to her car - and screamed in her face - WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL US? - and then quickly slapped her face. ( which to my shame is exactly what I wanted to do )
Or I could have pretended I just didn't hear anything.  ( which is what I did )

But my heart was thumping with indignation.
As I crossed the road a lady pulled up and reassured us that she saw the whole thing and that we had been there first - but it didn't matter - my day was ruined.

All I can do is pray in miracles and hope she reads my blog - so that she knows that I personally feel she's a horrible person to say such a thing.
I have kids - I shopped for them in blizzards for crying out loud !  In thunder storms - in hail - sleet and snow
( hey wait a minute Mr. Postman )
AND I never once thought that I was more important than anyone else because of it............

Ok - that's done.
This is why online shopping is so appealing to me by the way

In other news............I've been doing everything wrong my entire life.
Every. Single. Week. there's an article on something I was taught to do one way and how it's completely wrong.
I mean there's a ton of things I know - I just know - through experience that I HAVE done wrong.

But apparently I eat wrong ( that includes the actual act of chewing as well )
Exercise wrong ( when I do - which is seldom - and that's wrong but I already knew that )
Dress wrong
Apply make up wrong
Do laundry wrong
Show affection wrong
Dance wrong
Decorate wrong
Renovate wrong.
Choose shoes wrong.
Make decisions wrong
Walk wrong.
Run wrong.
Wear my hair wrong.
Getting out of bed wrong.
Showering wrong.
Bathing wrong.
Moisturizing wrong.
Even giving to charity - yup - I'm going about it the wrong way.

It would appear - by reading the experts - that my entire life is wrong.............

Leave me alone this is MY life !!!


And I even bake wrong.
No I really do.
Remember last weekend when I baked the entire weekend long?
Well ALL the cookies came out very crumbly.
I couldn't figure it out because I had followed all the instructions so closely !
Until I realized I had replaced the baking powder with corn starch.
Don't ask.
Just don't ask 'k?
Guess what I'm doing ( again ) this weekend?

You couldn't make up the conversations John and I have - even if you were a script writer with all kinds of awards on your shelf - you simply couldn't make them up.

We were watching a movie the other night - with Sally Fields - keep her name in mind - it's important.

It was called.


It takes place in 1935 - keep that date in mind - it's important.

As usual I was up and down throughout the movie - making tea - getting snacks etc.
Upon coming back

John says - That guy looks an awful lot like John Malkovich
Suzan says - It IS John Malkovich
John says - Don't be ridiculous
Suzan says - I'm telling you it's him
John says - Oh for crying out loud - he wasn't even born then..........................

I'll let that sink in for a minute or two.

Suzan says - You know Hollywood is a fascinating thing - they can make movies that take place in the 1930's when in real time it could be the year 2000 !!!
John says - Always the smart ass...............

NOTE TO SELF - bypass Cleopatra and Ben Hur completely when seeing them on the t.v. menu.

I'm not sure how many of you know that I had lunch with John Malkovich in Paris...............
No - I really did !
You can read about it HERE

Every time I open the garbage can to put something in it - there's something in there I have to take out - wash and put in recycling.
We have a lot of discussions about this.
I don't find it a terrible amount of work to wash out a piece of plastic and put it in recycling -
At. all.
When I consider what plastic is doing to the planet I feel it's the very least I can do really.

John thinks it's absurd and that I go overboard with it.

You all know how much he loves his peanuts, right?

So he usually takes a plastic bag and sits with the nuts in his lap and peels the shell into the bag.
Then the bag and the shells get dumped in the garbage.
And Suzan goes in and removes it - dumps the shells in composting and the bag in recycling.

I reminded him this week to please please please recycle the bag.

Whereupon he dumped the entire thing into the recycling bin.
Peanut shells and all.

Suzan says - WTH?  Why are there peanut shells in the recycling bin?
John says - YOU TOLD ME TO DO IT !
Suzan says - No - I said the plastic
John says - Peanut shells are recyclable  !
Suzan says - They have to go in compost
John says - It's all too complicated - it's just ridiculous to have to put so much thought into rubbish
( there's his " British " coming out again - he calls the garbage - " rubbish " )
Suzan says - It's not complicated at all - OMG - just separate them
John says - Listen - I'm not running all over the kitchen for an hour because of a bag of peanuts for God's sakes ..................

Why he just won't buy shelled peanuts I have no idea.
I give up

We went out for a bite to eat after shopping.
There was a particular restaurant I wanted to go to's a chain so they're all over the city.

John says - I have no idea where it is
Suzan says - I think it's in Fairview shopping center
John says - No it's not - I don't know where it is but it's definitely NOT there.

And so we drove around for 45 minutes or so looking for this place.

I finally called my daughter

Lindsay says - It's in Fairview shopping center.

Did I mention that's where we were originally.


Suzan says - Why don't you ever listen to me?
John says - What are you talking about ?
Suzan says - I TOLD you I thought it was here
John says - No you didn't.

One day at a time, Sweet Jesus, that's all I'm asking of you.........................

Have a wonderful weekend everyone !
Much love to all of you
I'm off to pick peanut shells out of the recycling ................
One shell at a time.  Sweet Jesus.



  1. I love your conversations with John ~ when I move in, I'll try not to laugh TOO hard!!

  2. You two can have your own show! Very funny.

  3. Oh Suzan, I love you! I laughed really loud over the Sally Field thing. You know I haven't been to a mall in so long - maybe 5 years? Oh that's not true, I went into one at Haven this year just to get to the Nordstrums. But there's no parking problems in July! Have you considered using valet parking when the lots are really full? I find that it is worth it, IF they have a space available. It's also safer that way - I only mall shop by myself. I would NEVER drag my husband into a mall. He's worse than me about hating shopping. Happy December Suzan, and I hope you're enjoying that baby!

  4. Love these this and that's chats for Friday. Just make me smile. Hope you have a great Friday and wonderful week end.

  5. Since I think I'm about Sally's age, I'm really feeling old today. Stopped by to look up that French Onion Soup recipe for the soup you made a while back. Yummy. Had to laugh when I pictured John "running" all over your kitchen with his peanut shells.

  6. Let me just say that I have a short attention span. BUT I read every single word of this and hated for it to end! You are so funny and have such a way with words AND keeping my attention! I didn't think about how behind I am on everything not one time! Can you believe the lady in the parking lot? Entitlement! It's everywhere it seems, even parking lots. Hugs Suzan, have a great weekend!

  7. OMG! My life exactly! I'm waiting for the day he gets really old and dopey, then I can swing him any line possible in the hopes he'll believe it and not argue. But maybe that is what keeps us both going - all the crazy stupid things that happen down the road of life. Going to unpack my 50th box, there is going to be one helluva yard sale here next June! Have a great weekend! xo Patty

    1. It IS probably exactly what keeps us going - how boring like would be without him !
      I need to have a yard sale or two or three or four.
      Hope you have a great weekend too Patty !

  8. It's all so funny, except the part about you doing everything wrong. That, I doubt! I also take things out of the garbage, from toothpaste boxes to recyclable plastic. Husband figures that one person will not make a difference. I figure we should all do our part.

  9. Sometimes,I think it's better, to be blind and deaf to them (husbands)... when THEY think they know it all, (ha) (that will be the day)
    We """women""" probably should just "give up" talking, my own opinion.. who is married to the same man for 51 years. Oh, "I say"to the man of the house... Don't leave, I'm still talking .. hahha Nobody hears me. Sweeties (that would my "Love") hearing aids are on the blink once again...Oh, for pete's sake..I really have give up.....

    1. LOL Bonnie - John can hear me when I'm whispering on the phone in another room.............but not when I'm sitting next to him - very selective hearing !

  10. I meant to say, the video you just posted is AWESOME.....One day at a time..I can do problem.I do love the ol fart that lives here in my heart and home...

    1. I grew up with that song blasting on the stereo - by Merle Haggard - now I " get " why it was always playing LOL !!!

  11. Again totally loving the fact WE are married to a bigamist...who apparently can fly...and be in two places at once...and fake an accent, LOL. Sandi

  12. Jim will sometimes say he wants us to go out to lunch, but to someplace different this time. So we get in the car, and off he drives. He drives up the street and down the street; he gets on the freeway and drives down for a few exit.....then he gets off and drives some more. I have been through this routine soooo many times I just sit there like a toad on a rock and look out the window, because I know the routine like some new and wonderful place is just going to grab us off the road (PLUS I am grateful I don't have to cook). A half an hour has passed but around and around we go up and down the street somemore until things begin to look strangely familiar, then more so as we pull into the driveway of our usual family restaurant about two blocks away from home! I don't ask why anymore and waste any time pondering on it, nor do I let him see me with my eyes rolled up in my head! I am just quietly grateful that I have this wonderfully predictable man sitting by my side who loves me enough to take this journey with me.

    1. " just sit there like a toad on a rock looking out the window " I'm laughing my head off here !
      We were both starving which made it all the more frustrating - and we were passing every kind of restaurant made to man.........except that one LOL
      I'm grateful for this man too - maybe not so quietly though

  13. its unseasonably warm here too. One short cold snap at Thanksgiving and now we're back in the upper 70's. Crazy! And your conversations! So funny. And argh, I can't believe that lady in the parking lot.

  14. You do not want to get me started with how husbands tick or rather how they can tick us gals off by doing stuff like you have posted here. I will say that I had a bit of a rowe with my man this afternoon in Lowe's parking lot when he asked why I didn't get all the materials I needed for a project the first time. He seemed to understand very well last evening why extra materials were needed, so it was clear to me that he was just trying to aggravate the you-know-what out of me. He wears hearing aids, so perhaps I am judging too harshly and maybe he didn't really understand. Maybe I am exhausted from attempting to redo the closet that experienced an avalanche because he owns more clothes than any four men put together! Not being a carpenter, yes, I am bound to have to go back to the home improvement store more than once. Like I said, don't even get me started!

    1. Oh my gosh this sounds so much like my John - he doesn't get rid of clothes - so he too has tons but most of them I'd die if he actually put them on. I think he even has as many shoes as I have !
      I wouldn't even attempt to redo the closets - I think I'd go into a depression for a month LOL

  15. I'm sitting looking at a photo of the snow this morning just a couple of km away from my home.

    The only problem is I'm in Australia and it's the 12th day of SUMMER!!!!!

    Forgive me, I think we stole your snow,

  16. Men, can't live with them, can't live without them....right? You COULDN"T make these conversations up! But you SHOULD write a book! I would be first in line. My Joe eats peanuts in the shell all the time too, sits on the sofa with 2 bowls and puts the shell in one. But I am fortunate, he does throw them away and cleans the bowl. HOWEVER, he gets shell "dust" all over the sofa cushions and leaves that. OY!!!!

  17. I am still smiling from reading this just crack me up, lady!! Well, the part with the parking at the mall reminded me of an altercation I had at a shopping mall ages ago....I forgot how awful people are when trying to find parking!! Yup, online shopping is most definitely the way to go!!

  18. :^) too funny, and his twin lives in Texas!!!!! Oh my.......
    Merry Christmas!!


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