Monday, August 26, 2013

The Grossest post I've ever written..................

Good morning all!!!

John and I babysat yesterday - those girls just melt our hearts - truly - they could stand there and scream at me all day long and I'd be in awe of their voices lol.
They're funny - and charming - and entertaining - and the politest young ladies you'd ever want to meet.
Anyway they've been wanting a dog of their own for years ( they are 8 and 5 Olivia and Lucy ) and finally it was agreed that they would take one on a trial basis.
His name is Lenny - and he's a gentle 4 year old Fox Terrier..............and since we were watching them at their house we met Lenny for the first time.

It was an iffy day, weather wise, extremely hot and muggy and it drizzled just enough to let you know that a thunder shower might be forthcoming - so I decided I would make a picnic lunch for all of us in the basement ( where the big screen is ) and we would watch movies.............

While John and the girls prepared the basement - I began preparing lunch - when all of a sudden Lenny jumped up, quite frantically and started running from the front door to the back door - we had just finished walking him but I figured perhaps he needed to " go " again and so I opened the back door ( we were told he could run around the back yard as much as he wanted to since it's entirely closed in ) and he made a mad dash for the farthest corner of the back yard.
I watched him through the window, smiling, as I continued making our lunch............
When all of a sudden I stopped dead in my tracks..................
With trembling knees and holding on to the door frame I peered outside just in time to see him with a small animal in his jaws - thrashing his head back and forth - whipping it the ground with horrific force - picking it back up - thrashing again - over and over............
Holding back the urge to throw up - I ran to the basement door and asked Pop to please come up and help me with lunch ( because I didn't want the girls to witness this terrorizing site ) 

John says - what do you need help with?
Suzan says - Lenny has a small animal out there that he's killing
John says - WTH????  Are you sure
Suzan says - 100% - please go out there and do something - I'm weak in the knees - 

John ran out - and Lenny took off with his treasure..............

John says - Well I'm afraid whatever it is has been eaten
Suzan says - OMG - the whole thing?  The head?  The arms?  the legs?
John says - All I can see that's left is a tail - and it looks like a Squirrels tail - it looks bushy
Suzan says - Oh Dear God - we can't let him back in the house..............he can't come near the girls
Suzan says- Oh my God - that was the most horrific thing I've ever witnessed John - 

We closed the back door - and made our way downstairs with the food - 

Olivia says - Where's Lenny?
Lucy says - Where's Lenny?
Lolly says - Well we're going to let Lenny stay outside for a little - he's having too much fun to come in
Olivia says - Lenny doesn't stay outside by himself for this long Lolly 
Lucy says - I can't eat unless Lenny's in the house...............
Lolly says - I'll let him back in after you have your lunch - he'll be sad if I make him come in now............

The SECOND they were finished eating they asked again - 

Lolly says - I'll let Lenny in - but you can't let him lick you 
Olivia says - THAT'S HOW DOG'S KISS, LOLLY !!!

Hmmm - how can I make sure these girls do not let Lenny's mouth anywhere near theirs?

Lolly says - Ok girls - I'll tell you why - 
Lolly says - I saw Lenny eating poo
Olivia says - THERE'S NO POO IN OUR BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!
Lolly says - Well he ate his own................
Lucy says - YUCK - why didn't he just tell us he was hungry...................
Lolly says - I don't know - but you absolutely cannot let him lick you, ok?

I was sick the entire afternoon - I couldn't look this dog in the face - seriously - 
I fought being sick for hours.............

John says - You know he's a hound - this is in their DNA - you can't be mad at him
Suzan says- I'm not mad at him - it was just something I'm never going to get past - really - 

Their Mom .Annie, came home from work and I had to tell her what happened........
She called the vet who reiterated what I had said - the dog should not be allowed to lick anyone
and that they should keep a close watch on him for a couple of days....................she was quite visibly 
upset about this - and kept telling us " he's never done that before "

Uh huh, I thought to myself - 

Anyway we left - and about an hour later Annie called.............

Annie says - Hi Suzan - I checked the entire backyard for remnants - and there's nothing out there except an old toy of his............................
Suzan says - what does that toy look like Annie?
Annie says - Well it was a big old bone - that's he's ripped apart so much that it's completely shredded at one end................
Suzan says - Does it sort of resemble a SQUIRRELS tail ???
Annie says - Yes actually, it does............

CASE SOLVED.................
Do you think maybe I'm a paranoid mess because of the squirrels in my kitchen - ( HERE )

I'm dangerous - completely dangerous - and John's not much better himself LMHO...............

But the day was not a total write off - coming home I noticed this in the garbage................

Suzan screams - STOP THE CAR
John says - WHY??????
Suzan says - there's an old wooden window in the garbage
John says - you're going too far now 
John says - it's a filthy old wood window
Suzan says - I know - but you should see what people do with these!
John says - Sometimes I wish you never started blogging 

He backed up to where the window was laying 

John says - Well - you getting it?
Suzan says - Please don't make me get out and get it - I'm still horrified by what Lenny did - could you please get it for me sweetheart???
Suzan says - Just tell them I have a blog...............

Oh and the first of the giveaways arrived today - I'm going to give you a teeny tiny sneak peak - it's over the top gorgeous!!!

I should be able to start the week of giveaways by next Monday - I'm so excited - did I mention they're all Parisian themed?  Why yes - yes I did...................

So now you know why I wasn't around yesterday - I have some blog reading catching up to do - but these
neurosis of mine sometimes get in the way!

Much love,


  1. Eeeww, bad Lenny!!
    I love the window you found. Can't wait to see how it ends up looking. Your hubby is so funny and he still ends up helping you! I'm just waiting for the day my hubby says "sometimes I wish you never started blogging"

  2. LOL ! Uhm, our neighborhood has no cats ... because we have dogs! It is yucky, yeah, but that's in some dogs nature ;-) I let Roy back up in our street the other day as I spied an empty large wooden spool {the kind that has those big electrical cables on} It was just like lying in the yard, but he wouldn't let me go ask the people if I could buy it {or like HAVE it}. Gmph! I'll walk up the street soon as he's not home and go chat with them !

  3. Cool window! I'm just finishing a super easy and dead effective window makeover which I hope to post within the week! I'm very pleased with how it's working out!
    Such a funny story about the dog! xx

  4. What a funny story, Suzan.
    Love the window and how you found it ha, ha. John is a great hubby. Take good care of that man (smile).

    Have a dreamy day

    Hugs from here

  5. ...unlike a cat, who will totally kill anything.

  6. Thank you for a great start to my day. :) And, I think you have squirrels on the brain. ;)

  7. OH my goodness! This is just too funny. :) Great window find.

  8. Oh my I have had those "Stop the Car" episodes too. LOL love what you found and will anxious await the brilliant piece you will turn it into.

  9. My friends dog actually catches squirrels and Possom. It got a possom this past weekend. They run on the fence and he jumps up and shakes the fence till they fall off. Horrible.

    My cat once picked up a baby bunny and was playing with it. It screamed bloody murder. We rescued it and it was fine. But just the thought of the fleas and germs with wildlife....ew.

  10. Suzan,
    Too, too funny!
    But hey, love the window. I have quite a few of those sitting in our garage, I love refurbishing them. My husband says that I have an obsession with old windows, there's so many things that you can do with them that I have a hard time passing them up. Just bought two more the other day at an antique shop.

  11. Hi Suzan,
    Aren't Grand dogs great!!!!! Too funny. Love that window it needs to come to my house. Super chippy and sweet.

  12. oh my gosh, that was an amazing tail I mean tale, I'm so glad it wasn't a squirrel, ( our Terrier killed one once), but I think I heard once if they eat their poo they are lacking something ( other than the obvious, BRAINS) but maybe the vet will help with that, those squirrels really did traumatize you! I have a big old window stashed away, if you were closer I would give it to you, my house is to small now,

  13. OMG Suzan I almost wet my pants from laughing which is not a good thing for a old lady like me-but it was funny,your story not me wetting my pants love dee

  14. Oh Suzan, I don't know whether to laugh or cry. On the other hand, looking forward to seeing what you do with that window. I have one but can't decide what to do with it!

  15. LOL- You have done it now-gone completely round the bend! Poor, poor Lenny is probably traumatized because when he went OUT the door he was in your good favor-you smiled at him and probably said a kind word....and then he came back IN the house and you wouldn't even LOOK at him. And you think YOU have neurosis? I'd call 1-800-DOG-DOCS if I were your daughter! xoxo Diana ps. Think you'll be babysitting again anytime soon?

  16. Suzan, your story is too funny/scarey.... glad it ended as it did... love the window- I have been looking for one and no luck so far... eventually, I will find one. Can't wait to see what you do with it...

  17. SQUIRREL! No, wait, bone! We have two terrier mixes. They are always hunting lizards and frogs. The squirrels are too fast for them. It is just the circle of life. Much like the circle of junk: Someone throws out a window and someone grabs up a treasure.

  18. LUV the window.Awaiting what you will do to it. Have some propped up in my home and some remaining in the garage.
    OH MY... Lenny!!! *nervous giggle* Not sure how I would have handled it had Master Vic ... don;t want o think. Glad it turned out ok.
    Hugs,, Gee

    1. Thanks Gee - think I'll work on that window today!
      I think I've become extremely paranoid about squirrels lately LMHO

  19. Can't imagine seeing that and not knowing! So glad the case is solved!!!
    Looking forward to how you put your window to use...

  20. OMG, this is hysteriacle! I am SOOO glad that it had a happy ending cause I am leaving for a luncheon that I am hosting in a few minutea:):) Can't wait to see what you do with the window too! I totally get it about husbands NOT liking our blogs! Mine complains every single time I start taking pictures, especially when one of us is cooking:) XO, Pinky

  21. Wow, Susan,
    You are a great writer! So funny! Thank you for visiting me. I don't think I want a dog right now. Take care,

    1. I'm insane Karen - that's what you have to know about me first and foremost LMHO
      Thanks for coming by

  22. Too funny! I thought you'd be happy about the death of a squirrel, that looks like a dog bone.. or is it the other way around? You guys are a trip! I love it!

  23. if john can see treads, how can he not see that the bone didn't have fur on it!!!! that man lol. I'm sorry you were traumatized!!!

    1. LMHO - well Annie said when she saw the bone it looked like a fuzzy tail actually - apparently is was shredding to smithereens !!!!!!!

  24. I'm fairly new to your blog but love your stories! We have a dog, a labrador, people said they eat bunnies. We had a pet bunny and he and our dog were friends. Consequently, all bunnies are safe in our yard, he will even lay next to the nest of babies and the momma bunny will sit a few feet away. However, even though he's old and arthritic he does not tolerate squirrels! If he could catch them there would be carnage in the yard.
    Thanks for making me laugh!

    1. Hi Debbie!!!
      Well that's what I thought was going on LMHO - carnage is the perfect word - I don't know if you read my posts on the squirrels in my house- but I think they've traumatized me much more than I realized LOL
      Every labrador I've ever know has been as gentle as a lamb!

  25. Your such a girlie girl, I was laughing so hard reading your post. thank you so much for that, have not laughed in a long time. We had a dog that used to bring me dead animals all the time, it was her way of protecting us I guess. I had to get an old metal barrel and cremate them because if we buried them she would dig them up. So I got over my squeamishness with that dog. Tell John I love the old windows too, and Brian was like him, hated me making him to stop and pick up trash. loved your squirrel story my friend, still laughing about it. hugs Tobey

  26. LOL at the garbage run. But not at Lenny, bad dog!

  27. LMBO Suzan! So now the kids think their dog ate poo??!! Finn kills squirrels and moles all the time. He doesn't eat them though. It took a lot to teach him that it was NOT ok to kill bunnies, but he understands now. At the moment, I'm trying to teach him that it's not okay to fight a raccoon, which has been eating all my bird seed. Are you sure you want to live in the country? Excited about your giveaways next week!

  28. Ewwww. Even after living on a farm as a child and seeing such gross stuff, I still am grossed out. Ewwww.

    Love the window. It is hanging in my sewing room; still haven't figured out what I will do with it.

    1. I can't get the visual out of my head even though I know know it was a toy - that's how horrific it was for me LOL

  29. Oh my gosh - I laughed so hard and I think that it's because I saw a reflection of myself in "The Lenny Incident". Thank you, thank you for sharing your day~

    1. I was completely traumatized Susan - seriously SICK to my stomach the whole day LMHO

  30. I'm thinking you'd better stay in the city, Suze. You aren't going to make it in the country. You get right over there with treats for Lenny...the poor boy! Then get to the eye doctor. I think we need to have a talk with your kids...their inkling that you are going mad might be entirely accurate. I'm going to call you two Lucy and Ethel from now on! LOL

  31. Oh my cow! You are so funny! Our cat has caught 7 squirrels around here - I can't stand the sight of the half eaten things but I do like the squirrel population going down!
    And really John should know by now that you ALWAYS go to far - LOL!! Great window find!

  32. OMG! Too funny! Lenny is just a pup.....he'll actually kill things when he gets older.....but they don't eat them....they bring them to you so you can praise them about what a great dog they are! my daughter's terrier brings her moles all the time.......maybe you should babysit at your house.....

  33. I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep (with the different time zones, your post is usually the last I read before calling it a day) until I sighed with relief when I found out the dog had probably eaten a toy. Just to be sure, I'm going to check on all my cats before going to bed!

  34. Such a funny story, but I know how you feel about the dog.. My Weimaraner ate a baby bird and I was screaming hysterically at him... I think my neighbors thought I was being assaulted. It was one of the worst things I have seen him do... I was very mad at him and he knew it! I'm glad your dog was a good one ;) keep on junkin' girl!

  35. hahahahahaha, Im glad it wasn't a real one but I would have been dry retching the fact you remained so calm with the girls, seriously awesome. I felt sick reading it. Nice score on the window too!

  36. I almost stopped reading...but then I read on. I'm glad I did because all turned out well. Poor John! I can't believe you made him trash pick in a neighborhood that he does business! What a hoot!

    P.S. Old windows are fab! I have a stash of them and have done a bunch of things with them. Right now I have a large 8 pane one over my bed with pretty floral pics. I blogged about it if I recall.....I'll have to go check my blog.

  37. Oh my...too funny! I read this before I left for work this morning and laughed so hard! Had to come home and comment to say thanks for always making me laugh....:)

    Blessings, Vicky
    Life On Willie Mae Lane

  38. I'm laughing so hard! I've witnessed this with our lab - except she really did kill it - an armadillo! We don't let the dog 'kiss' us anyway. Dogs lick places that really shouldn't be licked!

    Love the window!

    1. An ARMADILLO - dear God - well that must have been lovely to witness LOL

  39. I just added reading Suzan's blog to my new weight loss regimen.

    1. LMHO Teri - let me know how that works for you !!!

    2. I must have missed your exploits with the squirrels in the house. I had a chipmunk for two weeks who kept popping up in every room I was in and sticking his tongue out at me.

      I hate nature.

    3. Cheeky Chipmunks LOL
      Somehow they sound cuter than Squirrels to me - but popping up all over the house - what the hell is with these animals ????

  40. Hahaha...oh, Suzan! You really had me going. I was actually so upset imagining witnessing something like that. It would completely freak me out! Those squirrels are really driving you nuts! (no pun intended...:) *Big sigh of relief* that the story ended on a better note.

  41. Yep. The Squirrel's Revenge. They completely set you up, girl. lololol!

    xoxo laurie

  42. Maybe it's just me, or maybe it's cuz we've had dogs eat both squirrels and their own stuff, but it grosses me out just a little less to think of our old Great Dane eating a rodent than it did thinking he was chowing down on doo. But he also ate my entire purse, minus the $1,000 I had just fetched at the bank. Thankfully he never acquired a taste for cash.

  43. My Yorkies chase the squirrels every time I let them out. Luckily for the squirrels...they haven't got a hold of one yet. The squirrels run up the tree and then make the loudest noises at the dogs. I'm sure they are calling them nasty names!! So glad that Lenny didn't kill and eat a squirrel!!

  44. OMG - I am dying over here. At first I'm like... wait a minute, it's probably the squirrel that got in your house! And then to find out it's just a dog toy... girl, you are too much!

  45. Laughing myself sick.......hahahahaha. Had any squirrels visit lately, Suzan?

    Tell John I have a window just like that one. Brought it with me from our old antique NH house to Florida. In 1993. It's on my diningroom wall. My daughter has the other half. Keeping my eye out for something to use for a transome and I spotted a roundtop window the other day at Habitat for Humanity thrift store. Hmmmm.....wonder where I can use that......

  46. Susan what a story and I can relate somewhat. Doxies are trained and were bread to dig holes and go in the whole to catch badgers. Our two have never been outside but we used to buy them toys that were called road kill when they were puppies. They would rip them to shreds and it would freak me out because in the end they would just leave this bushy tail lying there. In the meantime while they were doing this I would say to John, do you not see this as a problem?? Right away he said yes I do, they now have all this hairy fur in there systems. Needless to say, you no what goes in comes out. GROSS big time. I can not imagine this in real life by any means. When we get the house finished and their small are fenced in for them to do their business we are going to make sure it is down in the ground far enough so they can't get anything and nothing can get inside. I don't think they would do anything because they are to gentle and cuddly but this is what they were bread for. One never knows!!

    By the way, I would have totally stopped for that window!!


  47. Ha!!! Totally saw that coming, but it was so much better "seeing" you go through that whole maniacal panic. :) I would have stopped for the garbage too. And Phil would have wanted to kill me. He's also very "glad" I started blogging and have discovered all the cool things you can do with other people's crap. =D


  48. a little imagination and a few squirrels on the brain and there you go. HA
    we had a big old siberian husky once...I went in the back yard and she was gulping down what I thought was a bird almost whole! Later the neighbor came over and asked if we would keep a look out for their kids' pet rabbits. they got out the night before in the storm. I ran the scenario through my mind and realized the damn dog had eaten their little rabbit whole! Our babies were just that at the time.....he went off to a farm in the country!!! I wasnt taking any chances.


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