Thursday, November 20, 2014

A Friday chat ( about this & that )

Good morning everyone - from your friendly neighborhood clueless blonde.

I've been having major computer problems - so bad that I was ready to toss it out the window and stop blogging - seriously.
It was soooo frustrating -
Took me far too long to upload photos for a post - sometimes hours - ( renovating this place is quicker I think - than actually writing up a post about it )

So.............I called my son-in-law - the computer nerd/expert.

Tony says - Have you cleaned it lately?
MIL - says - I always clean it !
Tony says - I mean on the inside - removing the panel and cleaning it on the inside.

Well he might as well have asked me to take out my own appendix -
Clean the INSIDE of the computer?
He told me what to do step by step
Step 1 - unplug the computer
Step 2 - take the side casing off
Step 3 - vaccuum

Whoa !  Cleanliness REALLY is next to Godliness !
It's working like a charm -
And I'm feeling cocky now - anyone need an appendix removed?

So winter is officially here in Montreal - I'm looking out at white stuff while I type
And I was just wondering
Would anyone be willing to marry John so that he could get a green card - then a quickie divorce so he can send for me?
No one in the Northern States need reply to this question -since you got more of the white stuff then we did only Southerners please - and only Southerner's where it's stinking hot -
I may consider certain sections of Europe as well.
Thank you.
And speaking of winter.................................

Blame Canada, my eye !
I had an AHA moment this week. ( I've been waiting for an AHA moment - since everyone seems to get them - it may have taken me forever but it's a HUGE one )
For years and years and years ( probably my whole life ) I've listened to you Americans blame Canada for winter.........( and then it became a hit freaking song Blame Canada - which I have to admit is hyserical )
" send it back "
" we don't want it "
And the thought occurred to me last week - as I sat here looking out at green lawns and sunshine - reading AMERICAN weather reports of horrific snow storms and cold temperatures - 90 staggering inches in Buffalo - N.Y. - U.S.A.
Like bad weather war dodgers you've been sending the snow up across the border.
This has been the best kept American secret and I HAVE FIGURED IT OUT !!!
How can we send down to you what we don't have ?
YOU send it up here - and then blame us - and we apologize - it's a brilliant strategy - absolutely brilliant.
I'll forgive you - 'cause I love you guys - but really - I'm on to you - the gig is up ( and I intend to " leak " this information out - )
Maybe you're not even aware of this yourselves - maybe your government has been lying to you ?
This has to be the biggest cover up out there.
Just call me Edwina Snowden.
But you'll understand if I stop apologizing for winter this very minute.
In fact YOU owe me one - ( now that you know the truth )
This investigative blogging is dangerous work - but someone has to do it -
Can I continue the blog from Russia do you think?
AND guess what's north of Canada?
We don't stand a chance.
( Stuck in the middle with you )
And it just goes to prove -
That you can fool some of the Canadians all of the time
And all of the Canadians some of the time
But you can't fool all of the Canadians all of the time.

Let's see, what else?
Can I refill your cup?  Do you want something to eat?  Sometimes these chats go on a little too long, I know
They're calling for 11 celcius on Monday - that's 50 degrees fahrenheit
We shouldn't have been so quick to close the pool
And I just realized that it's taken me well over 30 years but I finally really do think in Celcius !!!
( I thought it would never happen )
Although I still think in terms of miles ( not kilometers )
And yards ( not meters )
so that may take another 30 years I suppose.

It's hockey season - I don't watch all of them and even when I watch them I don't watch an entire game - I don't have the nerves for it - seriously - I get too worked up -
BUT what I love to do is this - when John walks out of the room - ( bathroom - snack - coffee - whatever ) I scream out OH MY GOD - WE JUST GOT A GOAL - YOU MISSED IT !!!
He always runs back in - you'd think he'd know by now -
And I giggle like a maniac
It only works once during a game.
Last week I did it - he ran back in -
John says -  WHY DO YOU DO THIS?
John says - SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH YOU !!!!!!!!!
Anyway - he was in the kitchen getting a snack - and they scored TWICE while he was in there - in the first few minutes of the game - first period.
I started screaming - GET IN HERE - 2 GOALS - OMG - THEY JUST SCORED AGAIN

John says - Yeah Yeah - do you think I'm stupid?

He missed the best 2 goals of the game LMHO
And because that happened in the beginning of the game - I was able to scream out one false one later which of course led him bombing it back into the room.
It was a good night.

I've been sick the last couple of days - first cold of the season - Hurrah !!!
I always celebrate by letting John make me supper.

John says - What would you like?
John says - Anything at all

Seriously - this usually means he's going to order in - he can't cook - at. all.

Suzan says -  How about a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches?
Suzan says - I'd LOVE that -
John says - No problem
Suzan says - Do you want me to explain how to make them?


John says - Don't be ridiculous - I think I can manage 2 grilled cheese sandwiches.

AND brings me up 2 toasted cheese sandwiches.

Suzan says - Uggghhh
Suzan says - But you made toasted cheese sandwiches

2 pieces of toast with a slice of processed cheese thrown between them is NOT the same thing as a grilled cheese sandwich...........

Do they not have grilled cheese sandwiches in England?

He KNOWS there's a difference - because I make them for him all the time !!!!!!!!!!

Maybe he's just getting back at me for the Hockey thing?

I make huge pots of home made soup almost weekly in the winter - it just might be my favorite meal ( with crusty bread or garlic bread )

I've never used a recipe for soup in my life - I taste it as I go - and after 30 years of experimenting I can now proudly say I'm officially a " soup nazi "
If people lined up outside and said the wrong thing I could ban them from my kitchen
( was that one of the best episodes or what? )

The only problem is - once in a while it's over the top incredibly fantastic.

John says - This one turned out great
Suzan says - Why thank you
John says - I wouldn't mind if you made it again actually
Suzan says - I can't
John says - Why not?
Suzan says - Because I just make it as I go - I don't follow any recipe so it can never be redone
John says - Why don't you write what you put in it as you go?
Suzan says - Because I never thought of doing that !!!!!!!!

Keep an eye out for the best soup recipe book coming to a blog near you at some point in the future.
But don't hold your breath or anything - old habits die hard.
And speaking of soup...........................

We used to do business with a man from Pakistan - and his favorite expression was
( with a very think Pakistani accent )
" John we're in deep soup - veddy veddy deep soup "
I used to fall on the floor laughing whenever he said it - I'm not sure if it was the accent or the expression or both.
Is that Politically Incorrect?
I'm so tired of having to weigh everything I say - sometimes a Pakistani accent CAN be really funny to this North American's ears - it's just the way it is.
If people can laugh at Canadian accents - well then it's " aboot " time I can laugh at others LOL( although I have never in my life pronounced it " aboot " )
And speaking of accents.............................

Does anyone remember this movie?
I can't tell you how many times I've seen it - and It can still make me go into hysterics
Peter Sellers at his best.

I hope I haven't offended anyone -
I keep getting marriage proposals from Pakistani Men ( and Woman for that matter )
Hope they have a sense of humor.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone -
I'm going to curl up with hot soup - ( veddy veddy hot soup )  Advil liquid gels - and garlic bread and watch this movie on the internet

Much love,


  1. Haha You score Suzan! I do that to mine too when we are watching regular TV and there's no pause button. Your grilled cheese sammies reminds me of when my son was little and told his Grandma that he didn't want a girl cheese sandwich....he wanted a boy cheese sandwich. Have a great weekend and keep that damn snow south of you....poor Canada.....always taking the heat.

  2. well your cold had not dampened your humor or spirits, lol, you always make me laugh, and veddy veddy will be going through my head all day!

  3. A very entertaining post. I hope you're feeling better and enjoy your soup and the movie. Peter Sellers was a genius wasn't he? I've never seen this movie but it looks funny. I heard that Alaska doesn't have much snow yet. Go figure. xx Pam

  4. I have GOT to get that movie!! Take good care of yourself ~

  5. Always, when I read your blog, I end I laughing. So, to let you know, you are veddy veddy funny..(We have lots of the white stuff here in WI too, and it was -5 this morning, which is not veddy funny at all. Stay warm...I'm going to do that with a "hot toddy" ...

  6. Suzan, I've gotta tell ya, since you're really the only Canadian I "know" -- Did you see the video of the soccer game between Canada and US the other night ? It was on national news yesterday here. I guess the game was in Canada. The young lady singing the US national anthem had a bit of a problem when the sound system went out. She only got a few lines sung then the whole stadium erupted into song, with what must have been all the Canadians in the audience singing OUR anthem ! It was awesome. Jaw dropping. So inspirational! Made my heart do pitty pats. As they said on our news, I'd be at a loss if that happened the other way around... I don't have a clue the words to your anthem, although the reporter said it starts out "O' Canada." It's really cool that the audience knew the song to start with, and helped our singer by picking it up when the technology wouldn't work. Very cool ! You guys rock.

    down in texas where it's "stinking Hot" -- but no, I don't want John, thank you.

  7. I hope you are feeling better! I really don't think you want to more south. It is so stinking hot!!!
    I'll meet you somewhere in the middle.

  8. Love this post! Tell John that these great meals are impossible to replicate! I made a meal tonight with spelt, sausage, beans, tomatoes, kale, etc, I can't remember and never will! It was delicious! Just consider yourself a chef and be done with it!

  9. True grilled cheese is exactly that: grilled! Otherwise, it's just a toasted cheese sandwich! It's these little details that make the difference, from so-so to scrumptious!

    Hope you're feeling better, Suzan!


  10. I really enjoy your posts. P.S. No snow here on beautiful Prince Edward Island

  11. 10 degrees is the norm here in November, but it's raining a lot... If you still think it's interesting, I can marry John so he can settle in France... He can always go further south if you want after the divorce. All I ask is that he helps me with the renovation while we're married. How does that sound? Please, warn him that there'll be no hockey watching in the Cottage.

  12. And that is why I call you Suzan Sunshine!!!!! You are so funny!!!! I have never blamed Canada for our cold weather, it is what it is!!! I tried to stay in Hawaii, some bully made me come home. Anyway, I too love Peter Sellers as an actor, especially the Pink Panther!!!! I once made a Pink Panther costume for a friend of mine. You inspired me to make homemade vegetable soup, that earned me lots of points with Jim, he loves it. Homemade Lasagna for Sunday. Have a blessed day. XOXOXOX Karen

    1. LOL - don't know about the Suzan Sunshine part - OMG that's too funny !
      My son came over and had some of the soup and said - " this is fantastic Mom - tastes like Campbell's " I was horrified LMHO !!!

  13. are, by far, the cutest thing in blogland...too funny...uh...veddy veddy funny.
    and I have THE SOUP NAZI recorded forever and ever...amen.

  14. Hi there, sorry I took a while to reply we've been in Tenerife (one of the Canary Islands) for a few days visiting Colin's daughter. She's a professional singer/dancer and she's had a contract at a big hotel there since January. Everyone else made it out there months ago but we never follow the herd :-) Anyway she comes home on Dec 8th so it was now or never! It's pretty warm out there (24c - I need celsius and fahrenheit because I no longer understand either) and it was very not warm when we got back here (4c and raining A LOT) also the heating wasn't working :-(( We have a wood burning stove in the living room so after burning everything we could find it was OK in there but hell everywhere else. In answer to your question yes we do have grilled cheese sandwiches here, John is just a lousy cook :-D Interestingly I ordered what was supposed to be a combination of the two on the plane - toasted ham and cheese with grilled cheese on the outside. DON'T ever do that, it is just a hot mess (literally) of boiling cheese most of which gets stuck to the packaging and the rest lands on your lap. Not only do I laugh at unusual accents but I often end up unconsciously imitating them which is SO embarrassing! I think it's because I don't really have any kind of accent of my own - I'm very home counties (ask John). I also speak English with a foreign accent when I'm abroad, like that's going to help them understand me :-D
    PS I love soup and I NEVER follow recipes for anything so don't bother with a book just send me a batch...


Due to a large amount of spam ( that I'm tired of going back to posts and deleting ) I'll be using comment moderation from now on !!!
Can I beat these spammers at their own game? Probably not - but I'm going
to try my damnedest !!!