Sunday, December 9, 2012

When honesty is NOT the best policy ( long post )

Good Monday Morning Everyone!
This is a long post today - don't blame you if you skim through it lol but there's lots to talk about with this dresser!!!

So here we go - before you think I'm an immoral unethical blogger ( from my title ) read first and let me know what you would have done - Honest to the end?  Or a little white lie to save big money?
I know honesty is the best policy - I was taught that it is -( honestly I was )and I like to think of myself as a moral person ( generally ) but I AM NOT above lying when I absolutely have to -

Suzan says - John do you think you could pick this up for me?
John says - Absolutely not - it won't fit in the car
Suzan says - Of course it will - the dresser will stick out of the trunk - but that's no big deal
Suzan says - and you can just put the mirror in the car.
Suzan says - fine - I'll call a mover and have it delivered
John says - Well maybe I can fit it in

He drove 1/2 hour to get it - and obviously 1/2 hour to come back with it - and he was pulled over turning down our little street.....................

Officer - You know you're not allowed to drive with that sticking out of your trunk like that
John says - Well I had no choice - and I had the hood held down
Officer says - Look if it's just a very short distance it's ok - how far were you driving like this
John says - ( and I have to capitalize this - because I  simply cannot believe it ) WELL I'VE BEEN DRIVING FOR APROX. 30 MINUTES LIKE THIS........................


I can tell you without a doubt my conversation would have went like this

Officer says - Look if it's just a very short distance it's ok - how far were you driving like this
Suzan would have said - 2 streets over sir..........................

John says - yeah it's ok to be a smart ass - you weren't in the car - you have no idea what you would have said
Suzan says - well John  - I most definitely know what I would NOT HAVE SAID!!!

In all truthfulness I have never, ever, in my life, met anyone MORE honest than this man.  Never. He can't even tell the tiniest version of a white lie - and I know it's extremely admirable - of course I know that -
but sometimes it can seem the tiniest bit stupid.  I mean, really, this was not going to hurt anybody - and he could have said 5 Hail Mary's as soon as he got in the house - I'm living with a British version of George Washington here - he simply " cannot tell a lie "

See this mirror?

it's massive - and oddly shaped

John says - I need some help getting the mirror out of the car
Suzan says - really?  is it that heavy?
John says - It's *$&^*@#  lodged from the back seat to the front seat - and I can't budge it

OMG - if you would have seen how this mirror was crammed into the car you would have died laughing
(well only if you have a sick sense of humour like mine - otherwise you would have felt very bad for him )
The poor guy was driving with a mirror basically lodged into his neck - can you visualize it?
Now imagine the police officer pulling him over lol - with a dresser hanging out of the trunk and a mirror
sticking in his neck..................

Suzan says - doubled over with laughter - How did you possibly drive like this?
John says - with great difficulty
Suzan says - what did the the police say about the mirror?
John says - well I leaned my head over to the side so he wouldn't realize just how dangerous it really was.
John says - I'm glad you find it so funny

How could I possibly NOT love this man - even if he is too honest.........................

P.S. it took us about 20 minutes to figure out how to get it out of the car and at one point I thought we'd have to break it to do so - but it's home

Suzan says - I told you it would fit
John says - You know, I don't know any other guy that would do these things for you Suzan - not one
Suzan says - Neither do I John - neither do I.
Suzan says - Did I thank you?
John says - No you didn't
Suzan says - Thank you John - from the bottom of my heart..............................

Ok - a little admission is in order - I paid more than I normally would for something I am going to make over so now we have the over budget expense of the dresser - AND a ticket.  Hmmm - how can I make that up?
How about these nestled in under newspaper in the bottom drawer?

Prints of very famous paintings from the mid 1800's - by Cornelius Krieghoff - these are very common
however this one is very rare

after some extensive research - and dreams of what we're going to do with this sudden windfall - we decided to contact the McCord Museum to tell them what he had in our hands - where we were promptly given the name of an Art Appraiser to contact.

Will we be spending New Years in the Carribbean this year?
Will we get the basement excavated and finished?
Will we be getting a new vehicle to transport furniture?
Will I be moving into one of my I WANNA live there houses?
No - to all of the above - they aren't even worth enough to pay the ticket - but there was a moment when
I thought we would be one of those people that buy something at a garage sale and find out it's worth half a million lol.

John says - be careful with them anyway
Suzan says - oh I intend to be honey
( neither of us trust the world acclaimed appraiser lmao )

Ok - let the makeover begin

I washed the piece down ( because this is really old - I think maybe over 100 years old ) but in very very rough shape
and gave it a coat of Pure White and this is what it looked like

hmmm NOT the pristine look I was going for at all -
So I then put a coat of shellac on it to seal everything up - let it dry - and put another coat of white on
and this is what it looked like

And another coat of shellac - and a last coat of paint - and it seemed to do the trick

those are raised panels on the drawers which made painting them extremely easy - and I spray painted the handles silver -

I'm not sure if I'm going to combine the same mirror with this dresser - so for now ( just for photo's for today's post actually ) I've just plunked a little mirror down................
John's in the kitchen repairing a drawer as I'm typing this - so this is real time LOL ( almost )

Suzan says - Is the drawer finished yet?
John says - nope - the glue is still drying
Suzan says - well I'm just going to stick it in the dresser so I can take a few photos
John says - NO - it's drying - I don't want you touching it yet..................
Suzan says - Oh, ok - I'll wait -
and then I snuck into the kitchen after he went into the living room ( to just stick it in the dresser so I could take a few photos )
but he had wood stuck on it with clamps - so had to remove them and the very heavy metal clamp went crashing to the floor
John says - What the hell?  Are you taking that drawer?
Suzan says - No - I just dropped a spray can
John says - Ok - because the drawer will fall apart Suzan - DO NOT TOUCH IT
Suzan says - I heard you John -
and then I tip toed down the hall way carrying the drawer ( something very traumatic must have happened to me way back when to make me behave this way - it's pure evil sometimes )
I'll just put it back before he even knows what I did................................

The middle drawer is the one where the glue is  supposed to be drying -
The jury is still out on whether I should distress this dresser yet - my gut tells me yes - ( as you can see I started the process ) but my heart tells me no....................
Does your gut tell you anything?  If it does, DO SHARE!!!

I was going to go with crystal knobs for the 2 small top drawers and then remember I had purchased 2 of these from Piorra Maison awhile back just waiting for the perfect dresser for them - think I found the perfect dresser for them!

I actually spray painted that little metal piece in the front because it was gold

ugghhh - tannin stains still on the top part of the drawer - forgot about that section entirely - this is the dresser
makeover that never ends -
yes it goes on and on my friends -
somebody started painting it not know what it was - and they'll continue painting it forever
just because.......................
that song still haunts me from time to time- so I hope it haunts you for the rest of the day - sorry but friends SHARE don't you know?

the drawer bottoms are new - so I just painted them before we installed them - love the crispness of blue and white - so CLEAN looking! ( this was one filthy beyond belief dresser )

and now.......................I'll let you in on a little secret conversation that I wasn't going to post

John says - you can't take photos anyways - you're not finished painting the bloody thing.
Suzan says - no one has to know that - I can hide that fact completely
John says - I don't understand why you just can't wait until anything's finished -
Suzan says - I posted the "before" a week ago John -
John says - So what?  Do you think people are just sitting around waiting to see your after photos?

So now you know - not only would I have lied to the cops - I would have lied to all of you - it's not finished at all

and probably won't be until after the holidays now lol

smoke and mirrors my friends - that's what I'm all about :)
have yourselves a wonderful Monday -

John yells................SUZAN - WHERE'S THE DRAWER - I ASKED YOU NOT TO TOUCH IT -
oh oh  - I really did mean to put it back.

Sharing with!

My Uncommon Slice of Suburbia
Adventures of a DIY Mom
PJH Designs
Domestically Speaking
DIY By Design
No Minimalist Here
Miss Mustard Seed


  1. Oh Suzan, sounds very similar to conversations I have with my other half!
    Love it as it is ie not distressed, and I just about distress everything to within an inch of it's life!

    1. thanks Deanne - I needed to hear that because I really don't want to distress it at all!

  2. I couldn't help but laugh when I read where your husband had the mirror stuck behind his neck. lol. And I kept on laughing. Also where you had to help him move the mirror in. It reminded me of me and my daughter trying to force the Craigslist couch through my bedroom door and it got stuck and I couldn't lift it high enough so we each had to wiggle like a worm underneath the small opening to trade places. I needed a good laugh today. Thanks for the wonderful story and the you did a great job painting it. take care, Darlene

  3. Oh Suzan. I can't stop laughing long enough to type. I don't find this post out of the norm at all. I bet I've had more than one conversation along these lines with my better half. Only he says, OK stop whining, I'll do it. And then he says, SEE I told you! One good thing is I have a dresser very similar that I'm planning to paint so, at least, I kind of know now what it will look like. Good job..Happy Sunday..Judy

  4. Bwuahahahahahahhahahaha!! Oh my gosh, you guys are THE perfect couple! It's hysterical to come over here and read your blog!

    I love the dresser (even if it's not finished). :)

    And I have a confession... I would have said 30 minutes to the police officer too. And my husband would have been completely and totally irked (undoubtedly mumbling about how I was going to pay my own ticket, lolol).

  5. HAhah, nope I would have looked him in the eye and lied my way out of it. I miss being young enough to flirt my way out of tickets.

  6. You are so funny my friend and a little evil too but thats why I love you. poor John, that is so funny that he was honest with the cop. I would have lied just like you. Your conversations make me laugh so much, you guys are so funny. I would have snuck the drawer for a pic too, I am always doing stuff like that. Hubby should know that when you tell me not to do something, I just have to do it. I love the dresser you did an amazing job. And I see you just commented on my post that I posted at 1 am, and my question to you is, do you ever sleep, is it not 4 am there, silly woman go to bed. hugs Tobey

  7. Suzan - you are one very lucky woman (which I am sure John tells you every day!) My former husband, John, did not talk to me for 2 days after we hung a wallpaper border in our main bath one year. Had I asked him to haul huge pieces of furniture? I am sure that "no" would have been surrounded by a lot of very colorful words! Sorry you did not find a treasure trove in the drawers. A vehicle large enough to haul furniture would be John's dream come true!!

  8. That's too funny. I really hope that the print is worth something. :) The piece looks beautiful. Megan

  9. Suzan! I love John....because he obviously adores you! What a guy! Your piece is beautiful. I want that sleigh picture. So jealous!

  10. Totally would have lied about the drive.

  11. What, no photo of John in the car with the mirror and dresser?? I would have been honest with the policeman as well, otherwise I would have felt so guilty afterwards for lying. I really like those prints of yours, so Canadian!

  12. So funny - I probably would have told the policeman 30 minutes also - that's just me....I love reading your blog with my morning coffee - makes me laugh and gives me so much inspiration. Love the makeover - think I would not distress this piece it's beautiful without the distressing... The prints are an awesome find even though they are not worth a lot... have a wonderful day....

  13. Liar, liar, pants on fire! Okay, okay, I would have lied a teeny bit too. And then smile a charming smile and toss my hair, even if it is short.

    (John should have just told the officer that "my wife made me do it", and then the officer would have said, "Oh the wife. Poor man. It's okay, you're excused this once. Always pull the "guy sympathy card". He needs lessons from my husband.)

    My heart would have stopped too, finding these Krieghoff prints! Maybe you could get a good price for them on eBay. It would have been a nice reward for all the trials and tribulations this piece has given you!

    I think a little distressing is in order, just along the edges and corners, less is more in this case.

  14. Yep, I think most women would have lied. Suzie, what find with the art prints. I saw a Krieghoff print for sale on ebay a couple of years ago. Turned out the owner of the print was in Quebec city and somebody I knew. He had similar luck as you did and was selling off some art prints on ebay. Fingers crossed for you.

  15. I read every word of this post and I'm still chuckling! I would have said a tiny white lie also. oh and the almost but not quite finished dresser is gorgeous! I would still try to sell those art prints! ok, i'm still smiling!
    hugs, Linda

  16. smoke & mirrors i totally love it lol no distressing needed

  17. Oh what read your post...after a long day of middle school I needed a laugh! Great Scott the dresser looks marvelous dahling! Merry Christmas!

  18. OH MY GOSH.....I can TOTALLY see the two of us getting into some majorly serious trouble together, Suzan. We would really end up driving poor John over the edge, I swear. He'd never be the same again..... lolol!

    You are like Peter Pan - who never grew up. I now see the "kid" in you that refuses to conform to normalcy.

    I LOVE THAT! Don't ever ever lose that. :) we'll never know if we're getting smoke and mirrors or not....hehehe!

    Love you to the moon and back, sweetie!! I love laughing at....errrr....WITH you.

    xoxo laurie

  19. Now this is one for the books for sure! :) I say NO, do not distress before I forget. I don't have the patience I don't think for all this painting and repainting ~ glad that you do.

    You're a rebel, just like me!

  20. OMG, I was dying laughing reading this! We did the exact same thing (at my insistance) with a chifferobe and a minivan! And, yes, my husband doesn't lie about anything. I just *can't* lie. You can tell in a nanosecond if I'm lying. My eyes cross or my nose grows or something, but people laugh at me when I try to lie - and I do try.

    BTW, don't distress. It's looking REALLY good as is!

    Kristy @ Shona Skye Creations

  21. SUZAN! I'm laughing so hard, I'm LITERALLY crying. Called my sister and begged her to go read this, and made my husband get up from watching his show so he could read it too. I would have DIED laughing it I had seen it lodged in the car. Your poor husband. I can just see the mirror poking him in the neck for the entire ride home.


  22. It is always a pleasant visit here! I have learned not to drink coffee while reading so I can safely laugh. John is such a sweetheart. I would not distress this piece.

  23. Hi Suzan!!!

    I see and read that you are very much loved!! My husband couldn't believe how much stuff I pack into my PT Cruiser until he just arrived home the same time I did and just stood there shaking his head.

    My answer for everything is "Not for long." My husband was just trying to go to sleep and I started to laugh so much that I had to read to him your blog. I couldn't stop!!

    The dresser looks great and I agree, don't distress it. I've always loved blue and white together. It looks so clean and crisp. I also love the small drawer handles you have. So elegant and classy!!!

    Sorry the pictures haven't turned up anything YET, but, who knows????



  24. Don't know what I'm laughing at more - the vision of John with the mirror stuck in the back of his head or the similarities between our poor husbands. Mine is a retired police officer who is honest as the day is long (but after spending a previous life with an habitual liar, it's refreshing).

  25. LOLOLOL Can't type I'm laughing so hard. Thanks for making my night. :)

  26. Lol, I loved the post and read every word! It's a beautiful piece and you've done a great job on it, well, the part you finished anyway. I can picture it distressed, but live with it, you can always distress it later. Good job!

    1. thanks Faye - everything is on hold till after the holidays now!

  27. Oh, the prints! Keep us posted on the value. They are spectacular. I would make Kinko copies if you sell them. I love finding treasures, and even better, hidden gifts inside.

    I can picture John. You need your own reality show.

    1. LOL thanks so much Margaret -
      holding on to those worthless prints - until they actually have worth tee hee

  28. Suzan I'm laughing sooo hard!!! We have so much in common! My husband is always telling me that something is not going to work and I keep telling him "How do you know until you try?" Ha! I've proved him wrong A LOT! Love the dresser. It turned out beautiful. A tip on ASCP in "Pure White" it is very translucent and does not cover well. I always prime before I use it. The only chalk paint I use primer with. Sorry. I know. NOW I tell you. Ha, ha. I'm featuring you this week on Transformed Tuesday.

    1. shhh - I normally prime when using ASCP white as well - I'd run out of it though lol

  29. I love your style of writing, your painting abilities and yes your humor. Woman, you are Funny!

  30. Thanks so much Mickey!!!
    Big hugs,

  31. So much fun to read your blog. Your dresser makeover is beautiful.
    Great job and a great hubby you have. Maybe you better keep him.
    Audrey Z
    Timeless Treasures

  32. It's 4am and I couldn't sleep. Thank you so much for this story, it made the insomnia worth it!

    1. Well then I'm glad my insomnia made me write it LOL

  33. Another hilarious post, Suzan! Your sweet John is just plain fodder for your hysterically funny posts. Your sneaking around with that drawer sounds so much like me when I come home with yet another load of stuff from a thrift store and am quietly making my way up the stairs to my sewing and craft room(which is stuffed to the gills already) while trying to avoid any squeaky stair treads. My husband, who normally can't hear it thunder, never misses a creaky stair tread over a TV blasting away! He is quick to remind me that I "can't get through the door of that room already." I just remembered why I always arrange the furniture where his recliner is placed with his back to the stairs!


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