Friday, June 7, 2013

True Colors............that's why I love them

I'm not a colorful person..................I'm a Grey and Black and White person.
My favorite wall colors - bar none - are greys - from the deepest charcoal to the lightest dove shades.
Most of my clothes tend to be black and white - black slacks - white blouse - black skirt - white tee - and I have far too many little black dresses hanging in my closet to mention.  ( even my bathing suit is black )
I very seldom wear socks ( even in the winter ) but when I do, I only wear black or white ones.
Every towel in my linen closet is white - as are every set of sheets I own ( well actually I broke down last year and bought a colorful set - but have rarely put them on the bed )
I have 5 duvets - ALL white -
I just tossed a favorite pair of flip flops into the garbage can - because they were black and so worn that the black was actually staining the bottom of my feet and as much as I may love black - it's not a nice look on the soles of one's feet. ( especially on feet that are currently as white as the Pillsbury Dough Boy )
I DO wear color from time to time - but mostly I'm in black and white - I like to think of it as " CHIC " but I probably look like I'm in mourning to most people.
My kids, however, adore COLOR - and as soon as they left home they embraced it like crazy.
( the choices I gave my daughters for their rooms were always Pink - Lighter Pink - or lightest Pink )
They had gorgeous rooms that perfectly reflected the little girl in ME - and never them.
And so today they tend to surround themselves in an explosion of color- maybe because I stifled it out of their home enviroment for so many years?

As some of you know one of my daughters is getting married at the end of the month.
I made myself a promise that I was not going to interfere in anyway with what she wanted to do.
Not even in the form of gentle persuasion - this is her day - and I decided all the memories she creates have to reflect that.

So when she decided she did not want her mothers choice of white and pearl gray table decorations
because there just wasn't enough color involved - I praised her vibrant choice.
The lanterns are in yellow - green - red - and fushcia and scattered stones will be colorful as well.

Lindsay on St. Patrick's day ( I hope she doesn't wear that wig on her wedding day - but honestly you just never know )

And when she decided she wanted a " themed " wedding - nothing " ordinary " Mom - and the theme was that everyone should come in their favorite era - I immediately told her I'd choose the 60's or 70's - and I didn't bat an eyelash  ( well definitely not outwardly anyway - I think there may have been some internal batting because the back of my eyeballs are still bruised )

And when my Son decided to honor his sister by coming as Billy Idol ( her favorite ' vintage ' performer )
I bit my tongue so hard that it's still bleeding.  BUT I DIDN'T SAY A WORD.
Lindsay says - Please don't try to talk Gordie out of it Mom - I think it's so awesome
Mom says - Lindsay - I would NEVER do that -

Last night my Son dropped by to show me his new ( dyed )  Billy Idol hair do
Mom says - Gordie, you know you don't HAVE to do this
Gordie says - It's for my sister Mom, not for you
( man these kids love each other, let me tell you )
He's going to sing " little sister " to her - if you don't know Billy Idol, never mind
( I am not a fan of Billy Idol )
If anyone refers to me as Billy Idols Mom that day - I'll smack them.
Not very Mother of the Bride ( ish ) I know - but I will.

I think he's trying to channel his sister Ashley a little more actually
Although she's no longer blonde - this month she's dark - next month?
Well we'll see.................each color seems to get better on her but I never know who's going
to walk through the door.

And I haven't said a word during this whole process - which is as rare an entity as you are ever going to find in this lifetime but I have my reasons.
And these would be some of them.

1) This is not my day - this is hers - and every memory she makes are for her to treasure
2) Her happiness is my joy - period.
3) I've heard nightmare stories about Brides caving in to demands from parents - and not having the weddings they wanted at all - I don't want Lindsay down the road - to wistfully look back and say
" I wish I could have.............." .about anything at all - if she wishes it - I want her to have it.
4) I'm tired of saying " no " - I said that word far too often in their lifetimes - it isn't my place anymore
5) I'm kind of excited to get to this wedding - I secretly think it's going to be such a blast

And here's the list of things she's decided on that I'm over the top happy about.

John will be reading an excerpt from The Velveteen Rabbit at her request

“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”
“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.
“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”
“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
And I love that one of her best friends ( a very gifted singer ) will be singing at the Church ( where her Mother will be marrying Lindsay and Tony )  " Let's Fall in Love "
Birds do it - bees do it - even educated fleas do it.....................
I adore that she is walking up the aisle to " Chapel of Love "
I love that the first dance will be a choreographed number to " And then he Kissed me " and will involve all of the wedding party.
But this - which she told me about tonight - shot bursts of reds and greens and blues and yellows and purples throughout my soul like fireworks.
Mom - I know it's not traditional but I'd really like for us to have a dance together too............Forever Young  (a song I sang to them constantly when they were growing up  and which has a particularly profound meaning to all of us ) and maybe Ashley and Gordie can join us - it's our song after all - when it was just the 4 of us.
Oh Lindsay - it would be my utmost pleasure - my absolute thrill of a lifetime - to dance with you, your sister and your bother on your wedding day................
Are you crying Mom?
Mom - I didn't mean to make you cry!!!
Mom - look at me...................
You see ?
That's what fireworks do to me - they leave me a blabbering mess - I'm crying as I type this.
And I wouldn't have it any other way - I need them ( desperately )  in my world -
They bring glorious color to an otherwise Grey - Black and White space
and there's only so much Grey Black and White that should be allowed in one's space..
And if you're lucky enough - you have kids that force it upon you.

Oh and by the way?
My dress is black
As is the big floppy black hat that will adorn my head
Old habits die hard.

To Lindsay - Ashley and Gordie -  

( and DUE unto others ??? - typing too quickly Mother )

You three are my big beautiful Rainbow - and I'll be forever in awe 
of your colors.................the outwardly ones yes - but the ones that shine through from the
inside most of all.
I see your true colors 
And that's why I love you...................


now excuse me, I'm off to practice my dance steps - I have the dance of a lifetime coming up at the end of the month.................


Sharing with:
Adorned from Above                     My Turn for Us                        My Romantic Home
No Minimalist Here                                  The Shabby Nest                            Classy Clutter

Bloom Design                                          Homemaker on a dime                     Ivy & Elephants
Common Ground
French Country Cottage
Chase the Star
I should be mopping the floor


  1. Hi Suzan!!!!

    One of the most beautiful things in life that I love, is when a mom talks about how much they love their kids.

    Your kids are very lucky to have you as their mother!!!! The care bear poem is beautiful!!!!

    I hope with all my heart that your daughter's wedding day is beautiful and smooth going. I hope that because you have been practicing your dancing, that you will be swept off your feet and be a success!!!!

    I hope we get to see some pictures of this very special day!!!

    Have a great weekend Suzan!!!


  2. Oh,'ve made me cry before work. Thanks. I'll go to school a blubbering mess.

  3. of coarse now im crying what a great post and what a great mom you are

  4. What a beautiful, heartwarming post. You are such a good mama. I wish a wonderful wedding day for your daughter, and for all of you.

  5. Ok - now you made ME cry! Dammit!! I will be stuffy all morning. When my first son got married, guess what our mother/son dance song was? Seriously. And I didn't want the Rod Stewart version. We danced to the Joan Baez version because that was the song I sang. That is my "Chad" song.

    Sounds like the wedding will be memorable! Try to cry really hard BEFORE the wedding. I did that so I didn't sob during the service. Pulled it off both times!

  6. Oh Suzan....I loved reading every word of this. You had me crying by the end. I am a BIG cry baby anyway...:) This was so touching and I think you so vividly described how most mom's feel about their babies. They are the light that shines through us, the beat of our heart, I can't imagine life without them. I think your dance sounds precious and I can;t wait to hear all about the wedding and see photos (if you post some). Your children are gorgeous....even Billy! LOL...;)

    Blessings, Vicky
    Life On Willie Mae Lane

  7. First of all, Congratulations. Enjoy it all! It actually sounds like a fun, happy wedding.

    I was at one of my best friend's son's Bar Mitzvah this spring. He is not the party type. At one point, she was going to charter a bus and take the boy and his besties to Disney World for the day in lieu of a fancy party. She caved to the "opinions" of her relatives and decided to go with the fancy, expensive, traditional dinner/dance party.
    Her son was miserable. At one point during the party (which cost at least 40K) , he came up to her in front of my husband and i and said "I hate this, when can I go home!!!"

    You are lucky that your daughter knows what she wants and is going for it. Besides, the point is the marriage. We have all been to Martha Stewart -worthy weddings that end in disaster marriages. The wedding has zero to do with the real stuff! xoxo to all of you.

  8. Well, You KNOW I have tears running down my cheeks because YOU GET IT! God bless you- I was just smart enough to "get it", too. This will be one wedding that will make you smile out loud for the rest of your lifetime. You will do her proud! xo Diana
    ps. When anyone asks the girls what their Nana's favorite color is-they always say BLACK....I wear a lot of black and grey but go cream instead of pure white....AND I do wear the olive tone greens...and that's about it. I knew we were friends for a reason!

  9. You're a great Mom! I Loved reading this! And yes, I cried too!

  10. You made me cry, too. I can see that your children have your spirit... lovely!

  11. Suzan,
    How touching. You have done so great with your kids. As much as you see them being different they are so part of you. This was truly a great read today. Wow the wedding is almost here!!!! How much fun is that wedding going to be!!!! I am excited for you. Congrats early.

  12. Well, thanks to you Suzan, you've got me cryin' and I'm not a crier! How sweet that your daughter wants that dance with you. That photo of Lindsay reminds me of a young Petula Clark.

    Sounds like a great day in store for all of you - even if it's not in B&W. lol and I love the passage from The Velveteen Rabbit! But couldn't John sing it??

  13. I'm crying, too...but happy tears for you and for your kids. Songs have so much meaning to me and to our boys, but Magoo is oblivious. Books, too.
    This wedding sounds wonderful, Suzan. The song choices, the theme, the Velveteen Rabbit...everything she's chosen is real and meaningful to her.
    I love that her brother has her back- no matter what.
    I'm sad that I'm not going to be able to participate in the magic of it all.
    You did good, Mama.

  14. Dear Billy Idol's Mom (I'm ducking)
    This will go down as one of my favorite posts. I LOVE ALL OF LINDSAY'S WEDDING PLANS! Sorry, didn't mean to get so loud. I, too, am a user of neutrals in my hoome, or as I've described it before: devoid of color. But a big dose of vibrance occasionally does a soul good. HOW FUN!

  15. Damn made even me cry! So lovely...all of it. You're an awesome mom! Oh...and I love Billy Idol. It's a nice day for a white wedding!

  16. how sweet - every last little bit of it!

  17. Dang, you made me cry...beautiful love! The day sounds like it will be all that you can imagine.♥♫

  18. This post made me cry, thinking of my mom who isn't with me anymore. They weren't sad tears but tears of all the great memories I have of my life with her! Thanks for sharing something personal. I LOVE it!! I wish you guys a perfect day and her all the happiness in the world with the new life her and her husband to be are starting. How exciting it is for all!


  19. I love the text that will be read, so untraditional, yet so perfect! I'm going to go to bed with many songs in my head now and I'll probably wake up singing them before I realise it! It was a beautiful and moving post. I can't wait to see your hat!

  20. OhEmGee...I can't write because I'm so teary!!! What a wonderful post and you are SUCH a lucky MOM!! Her wedding sounds like SUCH fun! How free and happy! It's going to be just grand!!

    1. I never meant to make everyone emotional !!!
      But thanks so much Lorraine - I think it's going to be a blast

  21. You've got us all crying, my friend. My daughter just announced that her longtime girlfriend proposed and so I'm going to be mother-of-the-bride myself at another unconventional wedding - they are going rustic barn themed and food truck.

    It looks like your daughter's wedding is going to be so much fun. Don't forget the waterproof mascara and kleenex!!


    1. We're all emotional wrecks!!!
      A HUGE congratulations Heather - I didn't know your daughter was getting married too!
      And I'm so thrilled that they are able to !
      Rustic barn theme sounds absolutely gorgeous!
      There's a very popular thing here called Meshui ( and I know I'm definitely spelling it wrong ) but it's a chef that stands at a bar b que - with 3 different types of meat to grill - that's what Lindsay's doing - the reception's in the country at a Sugar Shack..............

  22. Suzan...I just came from Sherry's blog and I laughed and cried over this post. She warned us that you are hysterically funny! We are so much alike, dressing in black and white, going barefoot year round and weddings, although my daughter is a 3 week old bride. We went through so much of the same thing. She's an interior designer so I knew not to interfere with her wedding style and decorations. I think some of her ideas are just crazy but they almost always turn out fabulous. The only thing I had a cow about and I was right, she wanted a candy bar and bought about 10 huge apothecary jars. The candy came to $600.00!!! And as I predicted, very few helped themselves to scoops and cute little cello bags. Sniff. Otherwise it was beautiful and original, like her.

    Your children are unique individuals, you did good, Suzan. A themed wedding sounds like SO much fun! The theme, the music, the dances. Your son coming as Billy Idol is a hoot, I loved The Wedding Singer. I absolutely can't wait to hear all about the big day! You have a new follower!! :)


  23. very sweet of you. Have fun and dance the night away like every Billy Idols mom should :)

  24. I was reading this on my lunch break today and got all choked up at work. Had to wait til I got home to comment. This wedding is going to be amazing! Cole Porter, Billy Idol, and the Velveteen Rabbit? Totally love Lindsay's vision. What a great mom you are Suzan. The fact that she asked you for a dance is just one of the sweetest things I've ever heard.

  25. This made me think of me,my mom and my sister...We also have a strong connection...You made me cry...Hugs,Cristina

  26. Oh golly Susan, yes I read this at work and my niece had to ask me, what's wrong. Sounds like a blast. I love Billy Idol!!!!! Her wedding does not sound like a traditional wedding, but a celebration of love, and a dedication to a Mom well loved and appreciated. I think that is what a wedding should be. Not all that superficial stuff. This truly going to be her day and a day she will cherish.

  27. Suzan,
    You have wonderful children and you are a wonderful mom. Please, please put as much of the wedding photos as you can on your blog. Every one of your readers would love to be there. We could all make a big love circle around you and your children while you dance!

  28. Oh Suzan, what a beautiful post! You're a wonderful mom and that shows through your kids. It's going to be a wonderful wedding!

    1. Don't know how wonderful I was - but they certainly are - they most definitely are wonderful kids.
      Thanks so much Cristina
      Big hugs,

  29. Great post, Suzan! Our kids can teach us so much if we'd just listen. Too many parents think they know it all. Your kids are lucky to have you.
    On a similar daughter wants me to plan everything about her about pressure. What I'd really like to plan is that boyfriend of hers asking her. Do it already, man!!!

  30. Hi Suzan,
    This sounds like a wonderful wedding and your kids sound great. Have a wonderful time and enjoy every minute.
    We are featuring this post at the blog hop tonight. It's so beautiful.
    Debi and Charly

  31. What a witty and wonderful post. And he makes a great Billy Idol. I hope we see a video of him singing 'White Wedding'.

  32. You made me cry, it was a good cry!!!! I wish Lindsay and Tony the best day of their lives, full of the most wonderful memories!!!!! Congratulations to them! Love love love your blog, one of my favs!!!!!

  33. Oh Karen - thanks SO much..............
    You are too sweet - and almost made me cry ( again )
    I'm not going to have any tear ducts left after this wedding lol

  34. How very beautiful---the love of a mother and child---especially her girl child on the eve of her adulthood. What a heart warming tear jerking post. Your family is so blessed to have you as their leader Suzan.

  35. I loved every....single.....word.....of this post and I want to come to this most awesome wedding!! Thank you so much for sharing this with us....:)


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