Psst ! I thought you guys would never get here - get inside - quick !
Sorry for grabbing your arms like that but I don't want to leave the front door open !
OMG - my heart is pounding !
Look at the comment I got ! ( I've deleted it )
What in God's name does it mean? Does anyone read Arabic here?
That's it -
I'm never mentioning what's going on over there again.......................
UPDATE - DO NOT click on that writing - it's apparently an Arabic Sex Site - WTH ???
So another year over and a new one's just begun.
I still have all my Christmas up in the front porch and outside because I have no idea where to store any of it.
I think Christmas decorations have bunny genes - they seem to multiply every year in vast amounts.
The living room - kitchen - bedrooms - den have all been put away.
How about if I just spray paint all the outdoor wreaths in a nice " SPRING-y " color and leave them up all year LOL ???
A sunshiny yellow perhaps?
My eyes are sinking into my skull at a dangerously fast pace - my cheeks are losing muscle tone - my lips keeps getting thinner and I have 2 very pronounced scowl lines on my forehead. I'm not a scowler so how the heck did that happen?
Some women do all they can to look like Barbie - I'm doing everything I can to NOT look like a freaking Cabbage Patch doll.
And nothing is working.
I thought they were creepy when my girls had them............trust me the look is a lot creepier on a real face.
I have a friend whose Dad used to cut his toenails with pliers.
I have no idea where that memory came from - I wish it hadn't popped into my head but since it did I'll just pop it into yours. Sharing is caring - always remember that please.
The day we walked in and caught him doing it ( in the kitchen - vomit ) we gagged and ran out of the room.
My toenails are getting thicker.
If I EVER have to use a pair of pliers on them I'll just shoot myself.
Seriously - I think that will be the last straw.
Ooops - I scowled as I typed that !
Which reminds me of a time once when I was at the manicurist - having a pedicure.
An older man walked in - his wife apparently had insisted.
There were 3 women ( myself included ) sitting with our feet soaking - he sat between 2 of them - I was in the end seat ( Thank God )
They started working on his feet and all of a sudden these clippings were flying all over the place - bouncing off everything - and one flew out at the women sitting next to me - who shrieked in disgust.
She looked at me with horror - while I sat there trying to gag inconspicuously ( I have a terrible gag reflex - I gag over anything really - but this time I think it was quite justified )
The pedicurist kept shaking her head and exclaiming " velly tick nails "
I'm peeing my pants remembering this story but at the time we all sat with scowls on our faces.
Hmmm............I guess I am a scowler.
There isn't much I can't imagine myself doing.
Except for working on people's feet.
I'm grateful that there's people willing to do it because I really just can't imagine.
Whatever they earn is not enough and they have my undying respect.
The beauty of this winter.
The stars have aligned.
Between El Nino and Menopause ( a match made in heaven ) our heating bills have been very low !
Upon reviewing my year on the blog in 2015 I was stunned to realize some of my most read posts were the I WANNA LIVE THERE WEDNESDAY series - and my FRIDAY CHATS !!!
All that work I did on furniture and this is what's most popular LOL ???
Pinterest tells me that 679,000 people viewed my pins
Google + tells me that I've had 46,746,353 views on that page ( all time - not just last year )
Blogger tells me I had over a million views on my blog last year ( a little more believable )
Why don't I believe them?
Why would they lie?
Why do I have such a conspiracy theory mind?
These are questions that need to be answered in 2016.............
Suzan says - You won't believe this but my Friday Chats are some of the most read on my blog
John says - You've got to be kidding me?
Suzan says - No - I'm not
John says - I don't get it - it's mostly nonsense
I'm guessing ( and it's just a guess mind you ) with all the crap going on in the world - nonsense has it's place after all !
I'm quite embarrassed -
I offered a giveaway on my blog for a Paw Print necklace - ( honoring Soda ) and I still HAVEN'T RECEIVED IT !!!
I ordered it end November -
Anyway - they've asked me to give it one more week and they'll send out a replacement...............
The saga with the new tea towels ( here ) continues.
John used one of them last night without my knowledge.
Suzan says - DID YOU USE ONE OF THE NEW TEA TOWELS????
John says - Yeah - they're great - good call !
Suzan says - I DON'T WANT YOU USING THEM !!!
John says - Stop being so ridiculous - you're NOT putting them in frames
Suzan says - YES I AM - and if I don't I at least want to keep them nice
John says - WHAT FOR???
John says - You make living so complicated.
You make living so complicated.
And now I'm quite embarrassed actually.
What am I doing saving tea towels?
I need a therapy session.
Right after I find the perfect frames for those tea towels.
Last week I noticed my eyebrows are becoming barely noticeable - just fading into my head like.
So I took a pencil and tried to pencil them in - you know - like models do ?
The most perfect eyebrows on the planet?
|BEAUTY AND SUNSHINE CO. UK
The pencil was too dark.
I looked like Joan Crawford in Whatever happened to Baby Jane !!!
I went downstairs and sat beside John who was watching t.v. - and I didn't mention them.
But I kept them arched up to look younger - very very important ladies !
(AND I have to learn how to darken them properly because how can you lift eyebrows that aren't even there?)
Anyway - I started chatting with him - but he replied while keeping his eyes on the t.v.
When he finally looked my way - he visibly jumped back.
John says - WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR FACE?
Suzan says - Nothing - why?
John says - Something looks wrong - really wrong
Suzan says - Thank you
John says - What did you do?
Suzan says - NOTHING !
John says - I don't know what it is but you look scary
Suzan says - Thank you
John says - WHAT DID YOU DO???
Suzan says - Just darkened my brows a little
John roars - absolutely roars
But I'm a little upset that he couldn't even tell what it was that was so different.
What did he think I'd done?
I could probably get a facelift and he'd ask if I'd changed the color of my hair.
My daughter posted the most amazing New Year's Resolution on her facebook page - she's incredible don't you think?
And wise - very very wise - go Ashley !
So far I have celebrated 32 New Years Eve's. I have celebrated with family, with friends and loved ones, and also by myself.
I have tried to re-invent myself every time ...with ridiculous resolutions to better myself...and failed. EVERY TIME. diets, exercise, fashion, being nicer to those I dislike, taking the higher road, turning the other cheek, and so on and so forth. What I have learned is that diets suck, I last an hour and then sob into 12 kit kat wrappers screaming at myself that I'm fat...ok, so its 13 wrappers, but whose counting? Exercise is boring when you're alone. exercise is boring at the gym. exercise is just &@#^ boring.- fashion changes more than I can keep up with or afford. Being nice to people you do not like makes you repress too much anger and I'm almost positive that fake smiling too much leads to irritable bowel syndrome, better to cut them off completely and save on toilet paper... the higher road is too high sometimes, it gives me nosebleeds. and quite frankly this turning the other cheek nonsense is too frustrating. All you're left with is 2 bruised cheeks and an idiot who thinks they can get away with it...I guess what I'm trying to say is...you can make all the resolutions you want, it won't actually change you. Instead of trying to change ourselves this year, why not just OWN ourselves?
so if you're hungry...eat.
if you're upset...cry
if you're angry...let it out
if you're a hopeless romantic...be romantic!!!
if you're a gym enthusiast... go to the gym (i dont get it but i respect it lol)
if you bite your nails...dip them in sugar to sweeten the deal!
if you're a fighter...fight for everything you believe in without compromise, just know when the fight is over.
if you're happy...teach others.
Just please don't make yourself miserable trying to live up to some unattainable version of perfection , you already are perfect. a perfect YOU! And nobody, nobody can do it better!
Don't forget every cloud has a silver lining.......it may not be REAL silver and it may leave one of those gross green rings, but who cares...it always washes off
Happy New Year!
Zulily just sent me an email advising me to STOP EVERYTHING
So I am.
Thank God they sent it or I may have just gone on writing forever ........you know
This is the post that doesn't end
Yes it goes on and on my friend
Somebody started writing it not knowing what it was
And they'll continue writing it forever just because
This is the post that doesn't end .................
Now isn't that just the song you needed stuck in your head all day today?
You're Welcome !
Have a wonderful day everyone - and an even better weekend
I'm off to buy a lighter eyebrow brush !
See ya later alligator - plant you now and dig you later ♥