There's a whole world out there filled to the brim with people that live completely normal lives.
It's not my world - I live just outside of that - but I know it's there and every once in a while I long to be a part of it.
John asked me to make some cookies last week.
Halfway through the process I realized I was running low on flour and asked him if he'd go pick some up while I worked on the first batch.
The music ( Bob Seger ) was blasting away in the background as I sang along - whipping - beating - creaming ..............
Until I turned around and bent down to place the tray in the oven.............
AND. COULDN'T. GET. BACK. UP.
I seriously could not get back up. Something happened to my back just like that ( cue me snapping my fingers ) and since I was able for some reason to bend DOWN onto the floor ( as opposed UP to a chair ) I simply laid there until John got back.
I had my head resting on one hand - while I drummed my fingers on the floor with the other - tapping my feet to the cd that was still blasting away in the background when John walked in.
John says - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE?
Suzan says - Oh - just waiting for you to get back - sometimes I get bored sitting on chairs
John says - Ok get up - I got the stuff you asked for
Suzan says - I CAN'T GET UP !
John says - WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T GET UP ? JUST GET UP !
Suzan says - I've done something to my back -
John says - What did you do?
Suzan says - DO YOU THINK YOU COULD HELP ME UP FIRST - or would you like to lay down beside me to have this conversation ???
I screamed out in agony a couple of times as he helped me to my feet.............
John laughs - You're such an actress
Suzan says - You have no idea the agony I'm in - it's not funny
Suzan says - I can't make any more cookies today
John says - You made me go to th-
Suzan interrupts - WATCH IT JOHN - JUST WATCH IT - IT'S GOING TO GET PRETTY DANGEROUS AROUND HERE IN A MINUTE !!!!!!
I hobbled out of the kitchen and up the stairs and collapsed on the bed -
John came running upstairs with a cane he had from a sprained ankle he had many years ago.
Suzan says - GET THAT CANE AWAY FROM ME !
By this time John is roaring .................I have no idea what on earth he found so funny about all of it -
John says - I'll leave it by the door here - you may need it to get up and down the stairs.
And off he went...........around the bend in the landing and down the stairs.
Chuckling all the way.
Until he completely missed the bottom 2 steps and went flying across the floor
All I could hear was BING BANG SMASH SCRAPE
and a groan.
Now you have to try to picture the next scenario.
Envision me as a female Groucho Marx if you will - since I couldn't stand up straight ( all I was missing was the cigar and the tux ) screaming over the landing " OMG - ARE YOU OK DOWN THERE "
He didn't reply and so I had to go downstairs sitting on the steps - bumping my way down one at a time
To find him spread eagled and holding his head.
I poked him with the cane to make sure he was breathing.
So.......for those of you that have been worried about why my blog went dead for a week - you now have an explanation !
Oh - and here's the recipe for those Crippling Crispy Cookies !
1 1/2 cup flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup ( softened ) butter
1 cup white sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup rice crispies
1/2 chocolate chips
1/2 cup butterscotch chips
1/2 cup of toffee bits
1 cup of shredded coconut
1 package of Robaxacet
Preheat oven to 350
Combine flour - baking soda and salt.
In separate bowl cream butter and sugar until fluffy
Beat in egg and vanilla until smooth.
Add mixture to flour bowl and stir in the cereal - chips and coconut.
Shape into circles between palms of your hand and place on cookie sheet ( sprayed with cooking oil )
Bake for 12 minutes.
Yields between 2 to 3 dozen cookies - depending on size.
Optional - I put chocolate drizzle across the top.
Stay tuned for my
PUT YOU IN A COMA CHOCOLATE COOKIES !
This was going to be THE year
The year of greatness - of well being - of getting into shape with yoga !
So far I've had a cold from hell that lasted 2 weeks - and another week spent flat on my back nursing whatever it is that happened.
And that's just the first 3 weeks -
I can't wait to see what this next week holds in store for me !
Maybe a full blown case of Cholera !
Zippity Freaking Doo Dah !
Love all of you
To the moon and back
But I may be silent for a few more days here..............
LOOKING FOR INSPIRATION?
JOIN ME AT THESE FABULOUS PARTIES !
BETWEEN NAPS ON THE PORCH FLUSTER BUSTER
HAVE A DAILY CUP OF MRS. OLSON THE ESSENCE OF HOME
So sorry to read about your mishaps - Susan! And poor John! But you sure do know how to put humor into anything happening in your life! The cookies look delish and what a title! You'll be back to your old self, or "new" self in no time with all of our good wishes!ReplyDelete
Oh my Lord! First of all, I'm glad you're both alive. Secondly, I sure hope you heal up quickly. Thirdly, only you and John can crack me up over seemingly very painful events. I'm just not sure if I can handle the Coma Cookies. Lol! Seriously, hope you feel better soon, Suzan!ReplyDelete
OMGosh, Suzan, karma just bitchslapped John, now didn't she? How awful for you both! I'm so sorry, but did you have to make it so funny?? Btw, those cookies look too good! I sure hope the tide turns for the better for you. Taking it easy will be hard, I'm sure, but you'll really need to. I've always disliked January, and all THAT would take me over the top.ReplyDelete
Bless your heart! Your back was shot, your hubby cracked his noggin, yet you still took pictures of those yummy looking cookies & shared the recipe. You are the BEST of bloggers! :-)ReplyDelete
Hope that all the aches & pains are better soon!
Ouch...not fun. Take care of yourself. Hope your back is better soon. hugs!ReplyDelete
OMGosh. I hope his head is not too bad, and your back is on the mend. You will be doing PT side by side. xoxo SuReplyDelete
karma too. sheesh xoxo SuReplyDelete
OH MY! Both of you down for the count within minutes? I really hope you are okay. I was wondering why you hadn't posted but just thought you were enjoying some "down time" with Evan. (Pardon the pun)ReplyDelete
AWwww Suzann, at least you both have the cookies...! They do look delicious---take care, SandiReplyDelete
Was getting worried - kept looking for you everyday and knew something had to be wrong! Sorry about your back but glad to see you are ok. Relax for a while and don't push yourself. Take careReplyDelete
Oh Geez! Take care of yourselves - we'll pray for a healthy last couple weeks of the month ( and rest of the year!) for you both! Why do things like that seem to happen at once?ReplyDelete
OMG Suzan, I had that happen to me when I was 19... at work... bent down and boom... couldn't get up. The guys were laughing at me until I didn't move for a bit. Took a while to get back to some kind of normal. I trust the laughing man is not laughing and you BOTH are feeling better. Someday (soon?) I hope to have all my stuff in MY OWN place so I can get my life back AND make these cookies!!! XOXOXOXO to the stars to you and John both. ~ ChristinaReplyDelete
Tell John it is called KARMA!ReplyDelete
I just new something was up❣ Am so sorry for both of you, lots of ice and heat packs and gentle gentle movement and massage. Cookies look gorgeous but you temptress my resolution will be facing major trials looking at the delish little gems! Get better you hear!xxxxxxxReplyDelete
I'm better LOL !!!Delete
And I'm happy to say that I only ate one of those harbinger of death cookies !!!
I'm sorry. It was all my fault. But who do we blame for John's accident ? I can't believe you poked him with the cane !!! Guess I would have done the same if my hubby laughed at me when I hurt my back.ReplyDelete
Oh Suzan! I knew it was something! I even posted my concern several days after your last blog! Please take time to get well and feel better! I am still nursing my Thanksgiving weekend cold of almost two months ago, and I am not alone in my snibbling about it! And we just adopted a precious "senior" girl boxer named Bella, and she has come down with kennel cough! We are like a hospital ward over here! Still, as I lay here with my box of tissues on one side of me, and this precious little furball curled up by my side (AND NO!!! WE ARE NOT ALLERGIC TO EACH OTHER!!!)life is good! Hope you feel better my dear! NannyReplyDelete
Well all I can say is that colds sure ain't what they used to be - holy cow - it used to take a few days and they were gone - I don't know what kind of strain is going around but everyone I know has been battling a cold for way too long now !Delete
And CONGRATULATIONS - how lucky Bella is to have found you ( and vice versa of course ) XOXO
Suzan ~ Suzan ~ Suzan! Yes, you need your own tv show. Reality taken to new heights! Dear Lord, thankfully you and the hubs are OK. Your cookies look amazing, and I bet taste even better. Feel better soon, and no more excitement!ReplyDelete
Scary stuff, you two.... Glad to hear that neither you or John ended up in the ER. HOPEFULLY, you both are on the mend. Take care...Hugs from WIReplyDelete
Been there. Done that. Sorry to hear about the falls. :/ On the bright side...at least I won't have to check the Montreal obits. Because seriously, I could not imagine anything short of a death that would keep you quiet this long. ;)ReplyDelete
Oh no, poor you! (Poor John too ;) Take it easy and get your back rested properly, don't be tempted to start moving any dressers the moment it feels a bit better or you will be impersonating Quasimodo for months to come, I speak from experience! I once had a similar episode when we were renting a tiny house called Old Timbers, I got home one day, bent down and stayed down for days...What made it even funnier (in retrospect) was the house was on the market and I got a call to ask if it would be OK for someone to view it, obviously I didn't like to say no. I somehow made it to the door, nearly bent double, and there stood the agent and a lady who must have been at least 6ft tall, who took one look at me and the many old beams and could hardly get out fast enough. You could almost hear her thinking 'My God if it's had that effect on her what the hell would happen to me after a couple of months??!!' Get well soon Gerry xxxReplyDelete
I haven't moved a damn thing - not even a toe LOL ! But OMG Gerry that's the funniest story !Delete
Ha! Holy shit batman! I had my back go out two years ago! Soooo painful! Laid there and had to you know what on a plastic bag! Uu ugh! Not funny! My husband and friends took care of me!! Ice did not help but the key was heat!!!! Oh yah! I think it was some kind of a spasm!!! Anyway! Spent the week in bed too! Also had a severe sinus infection over. Christmas and New Years! YIKES,!!! Ok!! 2016!! Let's get on track girlfriend!!!ready for Spring! Hope Johnis ok,your Idaho girlfriend,CindyReplyDelete
♫♪ I love that old time Rock and Roll...the kind of music that just soothes the soul....♫ReplyDelete
I love Bob Segar to the moon and back...oh, and speaking of BACK..hope yours is much better now....and, poor John.
You two don't seem to do much halfway, now, do you?? Seriously, so sorry for your pain....and I'm not talking about John!!!! I hope you Both you feel better quickly. Good health is a precious gift...take care.ReplyDelete
OMG you two! Sorry but I laughed out loud! It was like watching a Dick Van Dyck episode, but reading it. Take vitamine D for a healthy immune system. I don't know what you can take for all the other craziness! Hahahaha ... xo PattyReplyDelete
You have to be very careful what you laugh out loud at Patty - karma is a bitch LMHO !!!Delete
Poor Suzan AND John! I tell you, when it rains it POURS! BUT, John got his KARMA-upance for laughing at you!!ReplyDelete
Those cookies look EVIL-good! That's why you got in this fix for making them and tempting someone like me who can't eat just ONE!! So lets blame it on those devilishly delish looking cookies, which of course, now, I"LL have to try! Get better soon--both of you, and even though it is a scary thought, you are more normal than you think.
Love you, and don't make it "three's a charm", (altho' you could count what happened to John as the 3rd event in the trilogy--1.Your cold from Hell, 2. Your Groucho back, AND 3. John's trip down the steep stairs, which YOU have always said you're scared of falling on.)
Oh my dear Suzan I do hope you are recovering and that the remainder of the year finds you better than the last few weeks. Thank you for bringing laughter to my world despite being in such pain, you are a true gem!ReplyDelete
XX OO ~ I think a TV show, Suzan and John is in the works!! Love Ya! Take care my friend.ReplyDelete
Good LORD! I am glad you both are OK....sorta!! I did something similiar a few years ago. We were in Fl. at Joe's Father's and I was in the shower. I went to get out and evidently turned wrong and BAM, threw my back out SO bad. We spent 2 weeks there and when it was time to come home I HAD to go to a clinic and get drugs to be able to get home in the car. UGH. I can't wait to try your cookies, they sound SO good!!! Take care!!!!!!!ReplyDelete
I do totally agree with others, I'm glad you're both alive! Besides I'd like to thank you for this great recipe. It's so in time. AS this weekend my co-workers from http://www.paperwriting.xyz/ will hand out at my place and I wanted to treat them with something really tasty.ReplyDelete
Are you guys all right?? Are you on the mend? My goodness, what a day that was with you both getting hurt. I must say your cookies sound delicious (chocolate!) and the crunch of rice krispies and coconut is always a good thing. Take care my friend! Hugs. PamReplyDelete
Suzan...I feel your pain!! I have had back problems for several years and it is no fun!!! We have a friend that is a Chiropractor and I've been seen him on and off for the last few years. I hope you and John feel all better real soon. My hubby and I have had that nasty cold stuff since right after Christmas. I'm better now, but my hubby still has it.ReplyDelete
I was so afraid the post would end with burnt cookies! Be kind to your back - the spasm will return when you least expect it. Chucks and I had a virulent stomach flu followed by matching colonoscopies.ReplyDelete
Oh gosh, been there done that! Not while baking cookies, but years ago I was walking with friends when all of a sudden I could not move. Had to have my hubby come and pick me up. Definitely not fun! Hope you get back to your old self soon. The cookies look delish and should surely help in your speedy recovery! Thanks for sharing with SYC.ReplyDelete