CRIPPLING CRISPY COOKIES !

There's a whole world out there filled to the brim with people that live completely normal lives.

It's not my world - I live just outside of that - but I know it's there and every once in a while I long to be a part of it.

John asked me to make some cookies last week.

Halfway through the process I realized I was running low on flour and asked him if he'd go pick some up while I worked on the first batch.

The music ( Bob Seger ) was blasting away in the background as I sang along - whipping - beating - creaming ..............

Until I turned around and bent down to place the tray in the oven.............

AND. COULDN'T. GET. BACK. UP.

I seriously could not get back up.  Something happened to my back just like that ( cue me snapping my fingers ) and since I was able for some reason to bend DOWN onto the floor ( as opposed UP to a chair ) I simply laid there until John got back.
I had my head resting on one hand - while I drummed my fingers on the floor with the other - tapping my feet to the cd that was still blasting away in the background when John walked in.

John says - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE?
Suzan says - Oh - just waiting for you to get back - sometimes I get bored sitting on chairs
John says - Ok get up - I got the stuff you asked for
Suzan says - I CAN'T GET UP !
John says - WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T GET UP ?  JUST GET UP !
Suzan says - I've done something to my back -
John says - What did you do?
Suzan says - DO YOU THINK YOU COULD HELP ME UP FIRST - or would you like to lay down beside me to have this conversation ???

I screamed out in agony a couple of times as he helped me to my feet.............

John laughs - You're such an actress
Suzan says - You have no idea the agony I'm in - it's not funny
Suzan says - I can't make any more cookies today
John says - You made me go to th-
Suzan interrupts - WATCH IT JOHN - JUST WATCH IT - IT'S GOING TO GET PRETTY DANGEROUS AROUND HERE IN A MINUTE !!!!!!

I hobbled out of the kitchen and up the stairs and collapsed on the bed -
John came running upstairs with a cane he had from a sprained ankle he had many years ago.

Suzan says - GET THAT CANE AWAY FROM ME !
By this time John is roaring .................I have no idea what on earth he found so funny about all of it -
John says - I'll leave it by the door here - you may need it to get up and down the stairs.

And off he went...........around the bend in the landing and down the stairs.
Chuckling all the way.
Until he completely missed the bottom 2 steps and went flying across the floor
All I could hear was BING BANG SMASH SCRAPE
and a groan.

Now you have to try to picture the next scenario.
Envision me as a female Groucho Marx if you will - since I couldn't stand up straight ( all I was missing was the cigar and the tux )  screaming over the landing  " OMG - ARE YOU OK DOWN THERE "
He didn't reply and so I had to go downstairs sitting on the steps - bumping my way down one at a time
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP
etc.
To find him spread eagled and holding his head.

I poked him with the cane to make sure he was breathing.
He was.

So.......for those of you that have been worried about why my blog went dead for a week - you now have an explanation !

Oh - and here's the recipe for those Crippling Crispy Cookies !

Ingredients :

1 1/2 cup flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup ( softened ) butter
1 cup white sugar
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla

1 cup rice crispies
1/2 chocolate chips
1/2 cup butterscotch chips
1/2 cup of toffee bits
1 cup of shredded coconut

1 package of Robaxacet
1 cane

Preheat oven to 350

Combine flour - baking soda and salt.
In separate bowl cream butter and sugar until fluffy
Beat in egg and vanilla until smooth.
Add mixture to flour bowl and stir in the cereal - chips and coconut.

Shape into circles between palms of your hand and place on cookie sheet ( sprayed with cooking oil )
Bake for 12 minutes.

Yields between 2 to 3 dozen cookies - depending on size.
Optional - I put chocolate drizzle across the top.

Stay tuned for my

PUT YOU IN A COMA CHOCOLATE COOKIES !

This was going to be THE year
The year of greatness - of well being - of getting into shape with yoga !
So far I've had a cold from hell that lasted 2 weeks - and another week spent flat on my back nursing whatever it is that happened.
And that's just the first 3 weeks -
I can't wait to see what this next week holds in store for me !
Maybe a full blown case of Cholera !

Zippity Freaking Doo Dah !

Love all of you
To the moon and back
But I may be silent for a few more days here..............
Hugs,
Me


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