The story goes that my Mom and Dad were out for a Sunday afternoon drive - I was there too - safely snuggled inside my Mother's belly.
I was nameless - even though I was due to enter the world at any moment.
They bickered about names - never finding one they could both agree on - until they passed a field of Black Eyed Susan's - and my Dad turned to my Mom - patted her belly and said
" That's my Black Eyed Suzan "
( he's the one that insisted Susan be spelled with a Z by the way )
I suppose if I had of been a boy - he would have come up with " A boy named Sue " long before
Johnny Cash did.
I've always loved this story.
My Dad passed away when I was very young (you can read a little on my thoughts about my Dad HERE )
and as anyone who knows - when you lose a parent at a young age - these stories become precious -
they take the place of memories and become the hugs you missed out on.
I have lots of them - but this one is by far my favorite.
Needless to say, black eyed Suzan's have always held a special place in my heart. ( I have blue eyes btw - so technically I'm a blue eyed Suzan )
I've tried to grow them over the years but I've never had luck with them - EVER - they always grew in scraggly and sparse - so I've made it a point to buy a few batches in the Fall to place around the house.............
If you've been following this journey of ours, you know that there was a day last Spring
when we discovered a Tree that made us feel like maybe this is where we were supposed to be
at this time in our lives..........( HERE )
But that was nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to this
A big giant hug from my Dad !!!
They're everywhere !!!
Huge sections of them!
Enough for me to have many many small hugs all over the house
Just never thought of it I suppose.
Which is a little strange - since every single time I see that flower I think of it.
Last week I wrote an ODE TO A NEW BORN GIRL ( HERE ) sorry - but you have to read it for the next part of this to make sense ( too many links I know - but they all kind of go with this post - and this is the last one I promise LOL )
The next morning this was in my inbox...............from one of my daughters - in response to that ode.
The reference to the Black Eyed Susan did me in.........
(I was a single Mom for 10 years or so - so lots of things I wish I could have changed in their lives and all of the guilt that goes with that........................you can only know what I mean by that if you've left your children's Father - today I see that it was the only choice I could have made - but I second guessed that decision for a very long time - and still harbor guilt )
To my Mom
You will learn eventually, that our choices are not on you,
And it was you who taught us well enough to know that.
You will see through our eyes that the mistakes you think you made were not mistakes at all,
but accidents that led to moments, which led to life and gave us experience.
You will understand that the guilt you harbor inside is,
At the end of the day, for doing your best, and that you need
To forgive yourself for things we never blamed you for.
You will see your own beauty, not because we do but simply because it is there, and it is real.
You will watch 3 very different children lead 3 very different lives and this is something to celebrate; it means you raised 3 individuals instead of drones.
You will inevitably become tired of our opinions and with us voicing them, but know that you raised us with the courage to do so, to speak even when speaking out wasn’t and still isn't, the norm.
That while it may not always be the case, at times we have used the voices you helped us find
to help others
Others who didn’t have a mother strong enough to help them find theirs.
You will realize that we realized long-ago that we are blessed.
And you will see that even though I am not a fan of flowers, I am a fan of you.
My very own Black-Eyed Suzan.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Mom says - Lindsay, did I ever tell you how I got my name?
Lindsay says - No
Mom says - Do you have a second? I have a story........................
Have a wonderful day everyone
From me to you
The blue eyed
Sharing at these fabulous parties - join me !!!
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