So there I was at a comedy show - tons of people in the audience - and I find myself walking towards the stage door - where I talk the manager into giving me a chance to get on stage - I start telling jokes and everyone just stares at me...........no expression -
I then start making faces and hopping around like a lunatic - again - no expression - until someone screams
" Get her off the stage "
Having no luck there - we moved on to a Karoke bar - and when I got up to sing people started leaving the bar................
And the manager came over and begged me to please stop.
I woke up devastated.
My dreams are getting weirder and weirder
Amazon stalks people................has anyone else noticed that if you're on Amazon looking at items - the next time you visit a blog - an Amazon Ad will pop up - WITH THE EXACT ITEM YOU WERE LOOKING AT !!!!!!!!!!!!
Please tell me some of you have noticed this strange occurrence and that I'm not losing my mind.
I had an email in my in-box advising me that I could put an end to embarrassing elections -
WTH? I thought.
Elections don't bother me personally - ( although they SHOULD embarrass the politicians who participate ).
Then I realized the word was Erections. I need to wear my glasses more often - how embarrassing.
I'm receiving an abnormal amount of emails from foreign women who apparently want to marry me.
They love my manliness and have always wanted someone like me.
I'm flattered but will have to pass.
I need a facelift ( just an observation )
Or at the very least an eye lift
When we were celebrating a 50th birthday almost monthly
Can it really have been 5 years ago?
and now - back to pressing details
Have a wonderful weekend everybody !
you have a fun and enjoyable weekend as well Susan and don't work too hard Take the time to relax and have a glass of wine...............or two...................or three :}ReplyDelete
I haven't noticed that trend with Amazon. You may be very well be losing your mind or, at the very least, suffering from some kind of paranoia! LOL!! I desperately need a boob lift and an eye life and whateverthehell they do to get rid of bat wings (also known as my upper arms). How many more floors do you have to do?!? At least this looks like a small space. Did you ever get some knee pads?ReplyDelete
OK I'm no dream analyst but I think we can all see where that dream came from, stop worrying - you're brilliant and we love you and your house is going to look awesome.ReplyDelete
It's not just Amazon, they are ALL stalking me (paranoid-me-never ;-) Everytime I look at anything these days it keeps popping up when I least expect it, today it's asos, I knew I shouldn't have checked out their 70% off sale!
Sometimes I check my spam as things I actually want to read get dumped there from time to time. Apparently I can have my dangly bit enlarged and pleasure my woman all night long for a very reasonable fee :-D To be fair Gerry could easily be a man but Suzan?!!
I need a bum lift too (is there such a thing?) I have far too much junk in my trunk these days and it's all heading south.
Have a lovely weekend and chill, you're looking good to me! xxx
There IS a bum lift - but I'd just be grateful to have the things that show lifted - you can always hide your butt ( and you'r dangly bits too for that matter LMHODelete
You have a good weekend too ( chill is appropriate since it's quite cold here now )
Yea, those ads keep popping up on my FB and even the weather page (even after I've bought the darn item I may have been viewing)! The whole marketing thing through web views can really creep you out if you think too hard about it.ReplyDelete
Big Brother IS watching us ( every move we make )Delete
Yes- as a matter of fact that drives me crazy about the ads popping upon sidebars. It lets you know that you are certainly being "tracked" in more ways than one, I am sure.ReplyDelete
I am really angry because those same women have written to me wanting to marry ME! They are two-timing witches!!!!
So sorry about your poor election-er-erection. Not a good way to start the day...lol
OH MY on the floor. I give you a lot of credit, Suzan...no help---but lots of credit!
Have a wonderful Friday. xo Diana
yes yes I noticed that but not just amazon, I noticed WHERE ever I go Facebook keeps putting adverts up to what ever I was looking for, its very creepy, you are such a beauty, you need no face lift and I have no idea what the dreams mean, but they are entertaining,ReplyDelete
I have strange dreams too but not about being on stage. I think you really would get some laughs at a comedy club though. You do get some strange emails! I have noticed that when I visit a US blog they often have ads for Canadian banks or business or tourist places. How do they know where I'm visiting from?? That's a cute picture of you with your friends. Raining here again today. Filling the wells up for the winter. :) Have a great weekend. xx PamReplyDelete
I think it's cool that you celebrated your 50th birthday with The Real Housewives of.. (which city is that?)ReplyDelete
My dreams are CONSTANTLY about me selling my house and getting an apartment somewhere and I CONSTANTLY have seller's remorse. You'd think my subconscious mind would get it together by now.
And - I look at stuff on Amazon or other shopping sites and stuff comparable to what I looked at comes up in ads HERE, on your site. That's the magic of the internet... and the NSA. They're being helpful to us consumers.
Thanks for the he he this morning. Loved this post. You are too funny. Have a great week end.
Oh Suzan, this is so funny!! :-D You gave me a good laugh this morning. No, you're not losing your mind; Amazon stalks me too. Maybe we're both losing our minds. ;)ReplyDelete
The embarrassing "elections" bit was the funniest to me, as we're about to have mid-term elections here in the U.S. and we're (hubby and I) are casting our votes and hoping to fire some REALLY incompetent, downright corrupt, and embarrassing politicians. :) I've never gotten an e-mail from a foreign woman wanting to marry me, but I used to get e-mails from Nigerian princes. I kind of miss those.
Thanks for sharing and have a great day!
Denise at Forest Manor
I don't know what made me laugh harder - "elections" or foreign women loving your manliness! Yes, it's creepy about the "stalking." I think it's cookies on your computer that give companies info about what you research.ReplyDelete
Before going to sleep tonight..... envision all your readers sitting as an audience in front of the stage. Then, envision that we are all just laughing and telling stories. Think of all the great things that people say. Now, envision yourself in front of the mike.... in stead of the computer and maybe start with your schtick about bantering with John..... remember the audience is all women who GET IT..... hopefully this time your dreams will reflect the reality that in our world.... YOU ARE HILARIOUS.... however many very funny people don't really seem to believe in themselves.... you should. Hope it works!!!ReplyDelete
All lovely, yes the internet is stalking us now. Great, freaking great. Going into week 8 and not one room is completed. No laundry getting done here this weekend, plumber has not come back to hook up pipe to septic. Hmmm, hmmm, hmm ..... might as well hum, can't do anything about it. Have a lovely weekend and nothing needs to be touched up on your body, you look magnificent! xo PattyReplyDelete
Girl! You crack me up!!! I see weird things with my glasses ON! And yes Amazon and Google are taking over the world .... Have a great weekend friend!ReplyDelete
Suzan, I have weird dreams like that and always wonder what the heck they mean!ReplyDelete
I noticed that ads a year or two ago. It's so creepy!! Now, my husband had a distant cousin pass away this week so I Googled the obituary. Now the ad for dead cousin's law practice is popping up everywhere I look!
Thinking of my Canadian blogger friends during this sad time for your country. I heard an interview with the nurse who had been at his side when he died. I thought it was so wonderful that she had told him over and over that his family loved him very much and was so proud of him. Although he did not survive, I hope he somehow heard those kind words.ReplyDelete
Suzan...you are too funny!! My Yorkies are looking at me wondering what in the world I am laughing at.ReplyDelete
Have a great weekend.
they are all watching us. Pottery Barn pops up everywhere after I look at a rug or piece of furniture, showing the same thing I was looking at. Yuck.ReplyDelete
You look fabulous. I'm with you on the facelift. Maybe not a facelift but I would like some injections in a few places. Please put on your glasses because I said injections not elections. ;) Have a fabulous Sunday.ReplyDelete
I get the same emails - about the 'elections' and from foreign women. Thankfully most go to my trash folder directly. But a few still come thru. And I get a bit creeped out by the ads that follow me around after I've been browsing online!ReplyDelete
LOL Great post and yah the internet is stalking us....Google is the worst!ReplyDelete
Yes! Those ads are driving me up the wall ~ and it's not just Amazon...it's every site that you've visited. Throws and lamps from Target, furniture from West Elm and on & on.ReplyDelete
I guess those women are truly desperate as they email me too! Guess they will marry any of us to get a green card. The emails re: erections, extenze, etc. and other body parts are annoying. :)
I'm so very sad re: those kids being shot. There are so many crazies out there now and one never knows when or where they will strike. My heart goes out to the survivors and all the families involved. Just a horrid way to lose a child.
Hope you had a wonderful weekend!
Not sure if my other comment went through or not ~ so frustrating when they disappear.ReplyDelete
Just wanted to add that you always look gorgeous ~ and young! I loved my 40's and 50's...had so much fun! Well, I'm still having fun even though the numbers are climbing. :)